Global buckling

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Last updated on July 13th, 2017 at 12:56 pm

Traceeee Hutchison identifies the latest environmental crisis:

This week the Yesterday’s Men who have not caught on that the planet is buckling under the weight of nonsensical environmental destruction in the name of progress screamed It Wasn’t Fair.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/09/2007 at 04:29 AM
    1. Is it me, or is she getting stupider every week?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 04:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thats, really,really,really bad writing. I had to go through twice to even work out there was a point to what she wrote.

      “Why, when the port has just comfortably docked the 77,000-tonne cruise ship Sun Princess, the biggest cruise ship ever based in Australia, do the Heads needs to be blown apart and channel deepened to bring in even bigger ships?”

      Glad you asked fuckwit, its only Wiki but Im sure even you can google that
      “Economies of scale have dictated an upward trend in sizes of container ships in order to reduce costs. One limit on ship size is the “Suezmax” standard, or the largest theoretical ship capable of passing through the Suez Canal, which measures 14,000 TEUs. Such a vessel would displace 137,000 DWT, be 400 meters long, more than 50 meters wide, have a draft of nearly 15 metres, and use more than 85 MW (113,987hp) to achieve 25.5 knots, specifications met by the Emma Mærsk.”

      More drivel??

      “Why do the projected economic benefits — a paltry $2 billion to the national economy over 30 years — look increasingly flimsy? And why does it all keep pointing to the building of warships at Williamstown with Chinese steel?”

      So youd have no problem with the ABC having its funding reduced by 2 billion over the same time period?

      The fact she cant see any problem with lack of water flow into a bay, and its quality speaks volumes about how clever she is. Idealy while dredging a strong flow of fresh water will help most of the sediment travel out to sea. For a few years after the dredging there will be rock and extra sediment washed up. But bugger me if you leave it a few years it all seems to return to normal, almost like mans pathetic scratchings dont affect Mama Gaia much at all.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 09 at 04:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. The nonsensical bit was right…

      Posted by anthony_r on 2007 12 09 at 04:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Frollicking, I’m also curious as to whether she knows the difference between a cruise ship and a cargo ship.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 05:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry Traciiiiiiii, but Gaia must be defeated. It’s too late now. It’s war.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 09 at 05:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Traceee, the anguish, the anguish.

      Nonsensical economic benefits against the welfare of a penguin…there is no choice.

      The penguin must go.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 12 09 at 05:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. adding to #6, preferably to Tasmania, not to penguin hell.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 12 09 at 05:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #4 Ash, I’d be suprised if she could tell the difference between her ass and her elbow, let alone different categories of ships.

      Posted by Skip on 2007 12 09 at 05:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Deep into a fourth Heineken cold enough to delaminate dental enamel and Traceee still makes no sense.
      Mind you, I’m not alone in wishing the Grey Line picked up a couple warships which draw
      more than 77 000 tonnes, with or without the use of Chinese steel (bring back AI&S).

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 12 09 at 05:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. So she is aware that the channel has just accomodated a 77,000 tonne cruise liner but can’t resist “And why does it all keep pointing to the building of warships at Williamstown with Chinese steel?” even though the warships in question are on the public records as 27,000 tonne ships

      Posted by PeterTB on 2007 12 09 at 05:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. …and what has she got against Chinese steel anyway?

      Posted by PeterTB on 2007 12 09 at 05:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. I listen to her each week on RRR, she is fixated on this word at the moment and conjugating it in ways that make this article look good. Last Tuesday she actually said, inter alia, “the yesterdaysness of them”.
      A carer, not a writer.

      Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 12 09 at 05:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. What will it take for responsible custodianship of the planet to prevail? Dead penguins, starved of their anchovy feed, washed up on St Kilda beach? Dead fish rotting at Williamstown? A dead bottle-nosed dolphin beached off Sorrento?

      Some crisis.

      Posted by Nic on 2007 12 09 at 05:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can Traceee be encouraged to lay down in front of the dredging barges?

      Posted by Bruno on 2007 12 09 at 05:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Just when you think she couldn’t possibly say anything more stupid…

      Traceeeeeeee astounds with more stupidity.

      Where’s she from? There’s some village missing it’s idiot.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 05:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. #8 Skip, I’m sure you’re right on that.

      Say, do you see a business opportunity here? Charge her $2500 for a cruise, and give her a locker in the cargo area to sleep in. I’m sure the Personally Attuned Cruise Organisation may have something…

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 05:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. You barstards,How can these poor SMH hacks stay calm with Lord Rupert looking down upon them.

      Traciii….. “Look Mr Marr, It does not matter where you go in the room, the eyes still follow you”.

      David Marr……”ARRRRRRRRRRRRR”

      Posted by sparrow on 2007 12 09 at 05:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. This wouldn’t happen in the earth were made of some decent material like oak.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2007 12 09 at 05:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. #8 Skip

      #4 Ash, I’d be suprised if she could tell the difference between her ass and her elbow, let alone different categories of ships.

      Even with a map.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 05:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Back to the channel dredging obsession? St Kevni’s orgasmic victory doesn’t seem to have given tingling Traceeee long lasting satisfaction.

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 12 09 at 05:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. FOR some time in Victoria it’s been considered a given that on matters environmental the Government treats its citizens as idiots.

      And Traceeee is a prime example of one of those citizens she’s accusing the Government of treating. They’ve sussed her out well.

      #13, 14

      “Oh, look. A dead baby whale the Bay.”

      “No, wait, it’s that idiotic reporter. What’s her name? Ah, nevermind, looks like the penguins had a good feed with all the fish hanging around her. Jeez, she’s bloated. “

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 05:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT: So relevant in so many ways… just not to this topic.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 05:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Where to start with ignorance at this level. Now, I happen to think that the way the Heads channel will be cut is really stupid, because the modelling was based on surface currents and ignores a very strong tidal eddy about 10 metres down that will play hell with deep draft ships. (Go ask AAPMA)

      That technical issue related to why governments should not control such decisions aside, this brainless bimbo patently has no idea about where the shipping industry is going. While we won’t see a hub-to-hub ship like Emma Maersk (or her 7 sisters: what magnificent ships!) here, the older hub-run ships are moving to spoke trades – and Melbourne is too damned shallow for them. That means that they have to go to that port part-loaded, and that drives up costs.

      Which this vacuous idiot then has to pay for in increased transport costs. This is a basic issue of transport infrastructure.

      Obviously far beyond the mental ken of this latte-sipping idiot.

      And what on earth is she on about with respect to the LHD’s? The hulls will be built in SPAIN! Have the Chinese conquered Spain and nobody noticed? Does she think that Spain is a province of China? Or has she just been snorting cocaine through a didgeridoo again?

      MarkL
      canberra

      Posted by MarkL on 2007 12 09 at 05:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #23

      Or has she just been snorting cocaine through a didgeridoo again?

      Oh, my God! I think that’s it!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 06:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #19
      Even with a map suggests a degree of skill beyond Traceee’s previously demonstrated abilities.
      Perhaps both hands and a torch might serve better.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 12 09 at 06:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #25 What about a GPS system?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 06:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ash, I fear the alfoil might degrade signal performance too much.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 12 09 at 06:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Good point Lotocoti, I forgot to factor in the alfoil.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 06:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope the dribbling retards that pass for a state government listen intently to Traceeeeeeeeeee’s valid points and worthy input, and scuttler the whole project.

      Then Port of Brisbane can pick up all the extra traffic, and I and my evil capitalist cronies pick up another dumptruck full of beer vouchers.

      Only proviso, re-man the tick gates on the southern borders and turn around anything bearing a Victorian tag- there’s more than enough of the pillcoks up here now, many of whom share Traceeeeeeeeeeeeeee’s reasoning powers and committment to Ludditism.

      (That really was appaling prose as well- she actually gets paid for this amateurish, shrill gibberish? More to the point, an editor who allowed such tortured phraseology to be committed to print wasn’t encased in newspaper wrap and cast into the running presses? Fairfax appears to be staffed by beatniks who’ve been arseholed from student union publications after VSU caused their funding to dissapear faster than a Labor frontbencher with a pass for the VIP fleet).

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 09 at 06:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. In her final moments on this planet Traceeee will look back over her life. With her final flickering specks of consciousness she will realise that she achieved nothing in the world except to give its cretinous illegitimate fuckheads a bad name.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 09 at 06:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks MarkL for injecting that scarce commodity (knowledge) into the argument. I wish more “opinion” writers could manage to have even a little of it. Tracee managed less than that, stringing a bunch of conjectures and non-sequiturs together, giving birth to a strange, hybrid form of bogeyman.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 09 at 06:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. #25
      She couldn’t find her arse with both hands and a map, it follows that she has trouble differentiating between her arse and her elbow.#31
      Where does she get her information from? It seems to be “research free”.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 06:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. Probably not much chance of this under the new government but is there some way we can re-introduce apprenticeships for journalists?

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 09 at 07:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Melbourne’s on the way out as it is, with as Mark L says the new generation of hub box ships being too big for its shallow draft- it’s already very much a marginal port due to traffic, with Sydney and increasingly Brisbane being the major ports- moreton Bay is shallow, and ships travelling from the south have to steam all the way up past Cape Moreton before turning into the channel- if coming from the north it’s a doddle. Moreton bay is constantly dredged and the PoB is extending further out into it, with another big reclamation going on- we have plenty of hand-wringing dolts here as well, all wet-knicered over dugongs, turtles and other delicious wildlife, but even with a state labor government every bit as asinine as Victorias the critter question doesn’t get much oxygen. Fact is, if any of them bend over to the moonpie fringe over issues like this, another stae will swipe the trade quicker than the ASX goes tits up after Swanee’s first budget.

      Australia is a small player in the boxship business, with the big carriers like Maersk investing (and risking) substantial capital for patchy returns (not helped by a stevedoring industry still infested with MUA ticks, and sure to become worse under Kommisar Gizzard). At this rate Melbourne will only be serviced by small 800-1,000 TEU carriers like PAE and Swire, and bypassed by the bigguns- we don’t have the trade (or capacity) to even handle panamax ships (about 5,000 TEU) let alone the new generation buggers which are 8,000 plus- they draw about 15M so would be flat out getting in to any Australian port, ignoring the fact they do ‘round the world shuttles and discrage and load at major feeders like Singapore, Le Havre, Felixstowe and Long Beach.

      It must years and years of studied ignorance, substance abuse and genetic mutation to achieve Traceeeeee’s level of idiocy. What’s the betting she gets a new gig at the ABC?

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 09 at 07:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oops, sorry for the jargon- TEU= 20 foot equivalent units, a standard shipping container- it’s how a boxships carrying capacity is measured.

      Or in Traceeeeeeee-speak, big long metal can what the Dutch mafia hide bags of eccies in the false floor of so Traceeeeeee can stay up late and says lotsa clever things on 3RRR.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 09 at 07:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. In addition to MarkL’s point about the hulls being built in Spain, the ships in question are specifically designed to be capable of amphibious operations. I’m not sure how much Traceeee knows about ampib ops, but a deep draught is not conducive to a successful landing. The draught on the LHD is 2.18m, half that of the big tankers.

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 09 at 07:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Erratum – #36 should read 7.18m.

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 09 at 07:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. “It wasn’t fair! Tracee overflowed the “important”, “ink jar”, “not me!”.

      Sounds, spurious and silly enough to pass the postmodern, “Fair enough”, test.

      “planet”, “buckling” , “weight”, “nonsensical”, “environmental destruction”, “in the name of progress”, “creamed”.

      It Isn’t Fair.

      Posted by Mike_W on 2007 12 09 at 07:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Traceee can disparage trade because in her mind, because she gets paid, she is a wealth creator.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 12 09 at 08:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. How’s Traceeeeeee going to reconcile all her hero Bastard Boys from the ABC miniseries being laid off when Port Melbourne gets bypassed due to it’s shallow channel?

      Life’s a constant, angst-filled turmoil of duplicity when you care about so many disparate causes- it’s a lot simpler when your a patrician, heartless neocon and care solely about wealth and power.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 09 at 08:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #$%&^*@$^ fatso

      Posted by missred on 2007 12 09 at 08:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #23

      Or has she just been snorting cocaine through a didgeridoo again?

      Didn’t she once have “a bit of black fella” in her?

      Posted by AlburyShifton on 2007 12 09 at 08:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #42 Yes, but he was really, really drunk and/or desperate.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 08:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Habib,

      Dredging has begun on the north channel at Newcastle for the next coal loader, and despite the wishes of sydney alp backroom boys the old bhp site will apparently be a new box stacker if a few private people have their way (and pay enough bribes). The threat is freight to qld from ulan/dubbo and a new line west of the divide if nsw doesn’t upgrade the hunter line.

      Only problem? labor govts can’t make a decision because all money disappears down a black hole.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 12 09 at 08:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Missred’s busted link @ 41

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 09 at 08:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #41 Your link messed up Missred.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 08:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope she runs over the family possum leaving for work tomorrow.

      Posted by mehaul on 2007 12 09 at 08:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks, Kae, Ash, for cleaning up after me.  Its tough enough being at work at 6 am on a Sunday – expecting me to link properly is just too demanding.  (now everyone feel sorry for me) lol

      Posted by missred on 2007 12 09 at 10:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. No worries Missred. No one should expect anything much from anyone at 6 am on a Sunday morning… especially when they have to work too!

      Now I’m off to try to get some glorious sleep.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 10:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. oh now you are twisting the knife, Ash!  😉

      Posted by missred on 2007 12 09 at 10:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’d never do such a thing, Missred.

      Good night.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 10:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does Traceeee honestly believe that when the world is all environmentally clean again, dead things won’t wash up on the beach anymore?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 12 09 at 11:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. What will it take for responsible custodianship of the planet to prevail? Dead penguins, starved of their anchovy feed, washed up on St Kilda beach? Dead fish rotting at Williamstown? A dead bottle-nosed dolphin beached off Sorrento?

      Or, drowning polar bears! We can’t forget the polar bears!!

      Wrong hemisphere, you say?

      Ha! Climate Change® is a Global Problem. Why, I could fart here in Illinois, and wipe out a endangered species in Australia, we’re that close to the brink.

      Posted by rinardman on 2007 12 09 at 12:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. I gotta be in Brisbane for the rest of the week (staying south bank).

      Any RWDB’s want to meet for a quiet ale?

      MarkL
      Canberra

      Posted by MarkL on 2007 12 09 at 05:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. rinardman, I had an uncle in Illinois who could fart and kill species pretty much anywhere in the world back in the 50s.  In his case I don’t think it had much to do with Global Warming though.

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 12 09 at 06:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. #42,

      “Didn’t she once have “a bit of black fella” in her?”

      He finished up and went home.

      Posted by mythusmage on 2007 12 09 at 07:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #22 Ash,

      Thanks for the cartoon link… loved it! Apropos to many things, as you said.

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 12 09 at 08:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. #30. I dunno, Swinish, I reckon she’s provided us with hours and hours of fun and frivolity.

      That’s got to be something.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 12 09 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. #57 Glad you liked it Dr Alice. If only I’d seen it before the election! Oh well, there’s always the US elections, which is just as appropriate!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 09 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. This Traceeeeeee person is as vapid a piece of human flesh as any I’ve ever run into.  Honestly people, does someone actually pay her to write this stuff?  Are you guys really just pullin’ innocent American legs?

      Someone ought to ‘splain to Traceeeee that the more ships it takes to import and export goods, the more carbon crap goes into the air.  Now she might be able to offset that if she would agree to take only one breath every 10 minutes or so.  Can somebody get her okay-doky on this, promising, to stop the world like she wants if she will only do this one t thing?

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 12 09 at 10:03 PM • permalink

 

  1. “Didn’t she once have “a bit of black fella” in her?”

    If I was him, I’d be gouging Traceee for compensation for being a generation of the stolen member.

    Posted by mr creosote on 2007 12 10 at 02:32 AM • permalink