Four things

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Last updated on August 6th, 2017 at 05:42 am

fine speech from John Howard.

new island!

WWI recruiting poster.

moron.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/24/2007 at 03:58 AM
    1. Two things we know about Sheryl Crow:

      1. She thinks her shit don’t stink.
      2. Her fingers sure do.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 24 at 04:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. AAA (Anon?) Does it have 4’a’s? I prefer xox

      Howard’s speech: tops Kevvy will let the unions run Australia, then let Australia run down the tubes.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 24 at 04:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. musste heut mal ins internetcafe, weil das internet zu haus nicht funzt. naja, auch egal.
      also pien hat angerufen und die familie will mich!!! *freu* morgen kann ich dann dahin, soll die morgens anrufen und dann klaeren wir genaueres! also noch heut abend arbeiten, evt. morgen frueh (was ich nicht glaub, weil ich heut abend genau meine 30 std voll mache) und dann bin ich da weg! und muss dann da erst ab montag arbeiten… d.h. ich kann erstmal in ruhe die kinder und eltern kennenlernen, shconmal was abgucken und gucken, wie alles so funktioniert und so!
      pien hat mich gefragt, ob sie es meiner jetzigen familie sagen soll oder ob ich das machen will. hab gemeint, dass ich das mache, weil ich das persoenlicher finde! glaub auch, dass das besser ist, als wenn sie es von pien erfahren, oder? also ich wuerds besser finden an ihrer stelle. und sie hat mal wieder was an mir zu meckern gehabt bei den interviews, weil ich den familien zu praezise auf die frage, warum ich denn mit der jetzigen familie nihct klar komme, geantwortet hab… mann, die hat sich vielleicht komisch! egal, ist abgehakt und jetzt wirds hoffentlich alles schoen!

      meine finger hatte ich uebrigens clevererweise am trockner verbrannt, hab ne urst fette brandblase am mittelfinger! und dann war es natuerlich genau am anfang der arbeitszeit und die waren dann sauer, dass ich nicht 100% geben konnte, da ich ab und zu mal kuehlen musste, weil es echt hoellisch weh tat, noch bin bis in die nacht rein.

      kool hey I can type German?? wow

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 04 24 at 04:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #3 – Is that you, Cornelia Rau?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 24 at 04:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. (I mean, are they really mad or naive enough to believe that wind and solar power are going to make up the difference in generating baseload power? Surely not? So that leaves us with one alternative only – the end of the modern world as we know it and a retreat away from all the benefits that this world’s science, technology and medecine have brought us. And if you think reading by candle light in an otherwise dark and cold home sounds romantic, then you’re mad as well.)

      OK, hold that thought. “Dark and cold home”, got that? Well, if we add PETA to the mix we will have no animal products to keep us warm (wool, feathers), or protect us (leather), not to mention food and heaven knows what else.
      Who else of these groups of morons want us to go back to the stone age – or before, at least they got to eat meat and wear animal skins!

      Posted by kae on 2007 04 24 at 04:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh God.

      1.618 has now discovered Google Translate.

      I predict that there will be far more deaths in the twenty-first century as a result of CATS (Computer Aided Translation Services) than the usual warmongering nonsense.

      Shit.  I think Kurt Vonnegut Jnr predicted such an event…

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 04:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. Breaking: Remains of Viking settlement found on recently exposed island off coast of Greenland.

      Runic script on rock translates as,

      ‘Got fed up waiting for warmer weather and higher sea levels the druids promised us. Off to the Med to rape and pillage in some decent weather for a change.’

      Posted by phil_b on 2007 04 24 at 04:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. They just keep getting dumber and dumber. Oh, when will it stop!

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 04 24 at 04:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #8 – That is the must read article of the year! Laughed? I almost shat in the woods!

      When Barrymore (star of “E.T.” and “Charlie’s Angel’s,” to name a few of her films) bragged about defecating in the forest, Diaz responded she would like to have the same experience.

      “I am so jealous right now, I am going—I am going to the woods tomorrow,” Diaz said. A clearly satisfied Barrymore laughed, repeating, “It was awesome.”

      You think that’s cool babe? Wait until you get your period. It’s totally freaking gnarly!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 04 24 at 04:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can someone assist? I’m trying to translate Warming Island into Klingon, which I find a bit more useful than translating it to Inuit.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 24 at 04:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. You are lucky buggers down there to have Howard. Someone who doesn’t pander to the eco-elite and enviro-mentalists.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 04 24 at 04:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #dean martin

      What a link you’ve found there – looks like must-watch TV there

      No thanks – I wonder if the show features Diaz crapping in the woods – I only wish a big siper was right there to bite her on the backside

      Bloody idiots

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 04 24 at 04:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #10 Bexas Tob:

      Always happy to assist.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 04:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oops talk about dumb and dumber

      I meant Barrymore not Diaz doing the shitty stuff, and PIMF spider not siper

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 04 24 at 05:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. #12 shootthemagpies:

      A sniper normally shoots.

      Bites on arses normally come from spiders, or things like that.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 05:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks Kaboom, or make that tlho’ SoH

      The dear folks at MTV and all associated with it have jobs as sewer maintenance workers waiting for them in hell.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 24 at 05:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. #3 1.618 Say, are you talking about sticking your middle finger up your arse or licking it or what?  Does this have anything to do with Sheryl Crow?

      Posted by Wand on 2007 04 24 at 05:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Kaboom

      Yes thanks – I did correct this error caused by

      1. Cat on keyboard
      2. Glass of wine almost spilling
      3. Talking on phone while typing, drinking, shooing cat off

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 04 24 at 05:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #18 shootthemagpies:

      Hmmm… almost sounds like the Wally Sears defence.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 05:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. #19 Kaboom

      Not wanting to appear ignorant, I googled Wally Sears but what is the Wally Sears defence?

      I was thinking court case but Wally is a boxer, he’s also a mortgage broker and a partner in a law firm

      He’s probably the Wally in Where’s Wally too

      So OK I’m ignorant! Help me!

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 04 24 at 05:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. This from Howard was apt:

      It de-legitimises other challenges over which we do have significant control, other challenges with moral dimensions just as real and pressing.

      As for the island, an old buffer (the token righty) on British Sky news this morning said how can it be a ‘new’ island? Its always been there, hasn’t it?

      Posted by Nic on 2007 04 24 at 05:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. #20 He’s a noted thought void, David Hicks supporter, and cat molester.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 24 at 06:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. #22 [sarcasm] Come on Texas Bob, surely we all believe Jeremy Sear when he says he only cares about Hicks’ rights, not the time in gaol? [/sarcasm]
      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 24 at 06:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. A new song lyric from Ms. Crow?

      When I have a pooh
      And wipe my bum,
      I get my kicks,
      From only using only one

      Posted by Nic on 2007 04 24 at 06:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. #23 Ash, the only thing Jeremy says that I beleive, is that he THINKS he’s a good barrister.

      I will admit he’s a decent photographer though. He’s taken some lovely landscape shots.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 24 at 06:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Good call Texas Bob. His photos aren’t bad, but it probably helps that he has a digital camera which would have done a fair bit of the work for him.

      But yes, there are some good ones.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 24 at 06:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. It is an act of sheer desperation that attempts are being made to link Australia’s refusal to ratify the Kyoto bungle to the reluctance of other, much more dangerous emitters, to ratify.
      The desperation of pro-warming alarmists to use this on the local political stage to whip the government in the lead up to the next election is indicative of a mindset which says “whatever it takes”.
      Australia could reduce CO2 by 60 or 80 percent by mid-century without it having any significant effect on the world situation. We would certainly impoverish ourselves in the process and recovery from that self-harm would be slow, if possible at all.
      The Howard government gets NO credit from the Flannery brigade for achieving many improvements in line with (while not actually ratifying) Kyoto.
      With so much deception and so little realistic assessment, this little “nigger duck” (whoa! controversial, eh? context? moi?) will not be voting for the so-called “alternative government” anytime this decade.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 04 24 at 06:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. “It is now a striking island of high peaks and rugged rocky slopes plunging steeply to a sea dotted with icebergs.”
      Sounds much more useful than a large iceblock attached to an even larger one.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 04 24 at 06:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T Futurama just told me that Al Gore invented the Environment and wrote Harry Potter.

      I reckon if he saw this episode, he’d actually start to believe it.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 24 at 06:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. #29 shootthemagpies:

      Sorry, I’ve been searching for a recent post by our host regarding Polly the cat, and (gasp!) it seems to have been removed.

      Don’t tell me that TimB has fallen foul of litigious threats from our favourite pussie?

      Oh! The humanity!

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 06:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. Perview is my fiend.

      Of course I meant to say #20 rather than #29, and “pussy” rather than “pussie”.

      Sheesh.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 06:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. discovered by a veteran American explorer and Greenland expert, Dennis Schmitt, who has named it Warming Island (Or Uunartoq Qeqertoq in Inuit, the Eskimo language, that he speaks fluently).

      I wonder if the Inuit attach such negative connotations to their word for warming, as we do?

      Posted by anthony_r on 2007 04 24 at 06:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #30, this one?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 04 24 at 06:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 TR_Ash:

      YES!  That’s precisely the one!  I was using the search term “Polly”.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 07:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kaboom, that’s really getting annoying.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 04 24 at 07:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ooops, sorry everyone…. it’s an Aussie thing to scramble nics and names.

      Sort of like the natural extension of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston’s unfortunately named child Shilo – forever becomes “Pilo Shitt”.

      It even affects NRL stars like Carmichael Hunt, who is exclusively known as “Harmichael”.

      No offence intended, just continuing a fine Antipodean tradition.

      Posted by Kaboom on 2007 04 24 at 07:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Before Denmark does, I claim that new island!

      I predict it would be the new Singapore when the Greenland archipelago becomes balmy, with heavy trans-artic shipping (like between tropical seaside Iowa and Mongolia Island).

      Excuse me while I think about how am I going to govern that island.

      Posted by Rajan R on 2007 04 24 at 07:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #11 Wimpy, we are lucky to have our own PMSH.

      Long may he reign

      Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 04 24 at 08:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. #14 Maybe you meant viper.

      That would also be OK

      Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 04 24 at 08:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39 Jack

      Live in hope, die of despair.

      Posted by kae on 2007 04 24 at 08:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #31

      Perview is my fiend is trademarked.  You owe me 57 billion dollars

      #32

      The people are Inuit.  Eskimo is an unacceptaple term to them.  Languages (and tribes – to my limited knowledge) are innu, inuvialuit, inuktituk, etc.

      Maybe someone with more knowledge of this subject than I could throw some light on the subject

      Posted by Jack from Montreal on 2007 04 24 at 08:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. “…Warming Island (Or Uunartoq Qeqertoq in Inuit…’‘

      Great name, and a boon to all Scrabble players who draw the Q without also having a U.

      Posted by Sonetka’s Mom on 2007 04 24 at 08:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re #8…..Barrymore was delighted to crap in the woods?  OK, we can dump her off in one of many wilderness areas here in the USA, and she can walk out.  Since it’ll take several days to do so, Drew will have ample opprotunity to indulge in this new sport.

      /sarcasm

      God, how stupid do these idiots think we are?  I’ve crapped in the woods more than once…..and I’ll put ass to porcelain before risking contact with unfriendly critters and insects anytime.

      I only hope that Barrymore actually tried to be sanitary, and buried her feces.

      Gaaaah!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 24 at 09:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ah yes, the joys of one’s first crap as nature intended.

      It grows old pretty fast after you have crapped outside in all types of weather conditions.  Try doing it in the pissing rain with cold water running down your back and into your crack (soggy toilet paper is the pits), or when the sand is blowing and you get a dune full blown up your crack.

      I have spent months crapping in the shrubbery, and I am a firm believer in a bit of clean, well built porcelein enclosed in a leak-free enclosure (preferably without spiders).

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 04 24 at 09:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. At least Barrymore and Diaz are only leaving their crap in the woods this time, rather than in movie theatres all over the world…

      Also, I’ll have you know that I’ve never owned a baseball bat inscribed with “KULTUR”, but the rest of the picture looks pretty accurate.

      Posted by PW on 2007 04 24 at 09:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. #44 Concur. Shitting whilst backed up to a sapling loses it’s glamour after awhile.

      Posted by CB on 2007 04 24 at 09:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. [url=http://home.iprimus.com.au/michellejbailey/songs.htm#Redback]Toilet url] critters…

      Posted by kae on 2007 04 24 at 09:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. bugger! try again.

      Toilet critters…

      Posted by kae on 2007 04 24 at 09:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. I forgot to add crapping in the snow.  When it’s snowing.  And when the wind is howling.

      At least frozen turds stuck on the hairy bits don’t smell much.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 04 24 at 09:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. As Australians turn into a bunch of Tubers, it’s energy problem will solve itself.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 04 24 at 10:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. My personal favourite bit of shitting al la natrual is the bloody flies that try to get “straight to the source”. Im feeding the bastards anyway so the least they can do is let me snap one off in peace.

      Many moons ago when i was a scabby woolpresser I had to take a lovely lady out in my ute to the shed we were at.
      She went off for a pee about half way and we didnt find her for half a day. Poor city girl got badly bushed and couldnt find her way back to the road 50m away!
      I told her to piss behind the tailgate of the ute next time, wed be polite and look the other way.
      Unfortunately the next time was when I offered a bloke a tow, shed ducked behind the ute and I reversed back to swing around and tow him…. A loud scream and a half naked lady interrupted mid-stream was the result as she ran off into the bush again….

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 04 24 at 10:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does a Barrymore crap in the woods?

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 04 24 at 11:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. 1.  John Howard is a man of immanent sense.

      2.  Pfft!  In Dubai, they’re dredging up new islands all the time.

      3.  Okay.  Not sure where they were going with that.  German culture?  The Kaiser?  After all this time, it doesn’t come across clearly.

      4.  I can never hear another Sheryl Crow song without thinking of stinky toilets.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 04 24 at 11:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. Note to Self: Do not shake Sheryl’s hand.

      Another note to Self: Switch to these TP rolls for single square use.

      Posted by GPE on 2007 04 24 at 12:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. AHAHAHAH! The evil genious.  The  left  went nuts over Rove not wanting Crow to touch him.  He figuratively and literally didn’t want to touch crow.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 04 24 at 12:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ah, I remember that poster. Back in college, I showed it (and similar ones) to a classmate who did a presentation several days before on racism in WWII. See, she had showed a bunch of anti-Japanese posters depicting them as gorillas as proof. My Germans-as-gorillas posters didn’t make much of an impression, though. Never did get in her pants. Go figure.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 04 24 at 12:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dave S.

      Maybe she wasn’t too impressed with your Sabre!

      Aaron.

      I’m just glad we don’t have any stories about Rove “eating” Crow.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 24 at 12:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe she wasn’t into monkey business, Dave?

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 24 at 01:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ve never understood why Eric the Red called an ice sheet “Greenland”. What’s that you say? Greenland wasn’t covered with ice in the 10th century?? Huh.

      I think Laurie David is dragging Crow around on her Stop Gerbil Worming College Tour because Sheryl makes her look smart by comparison. Crow, who worries that someone will steal her good ideas, is an object of derision even among the hard left commenters at the Washington Post.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 04 24 at 01:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe he discovered Greenland around Saint Patrick’s Day.  Who can really know these things for sure!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 24 at 01:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. They have so much in common with Al Qaeda. Islamics use no toilet paper, and only shake with the left hand for this reason.

      Islamist would be perfectly willing to restrict air travel by means of terror. Think of the megatons, yes megatons, of CO2 that did not enter the atmosphere due to the fear of flying that Al Qaeda created.

      7th century technology? Check.

      Rule by “wisdom circles”, you now have the “expediency council), too bad about the women. Check

      Gay marriage will no longer be an issue which divides western culture. Check.

      Posted by moptop on 2007 04 24 at 02:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’d rather eat one-square Crow than this!
      [h/t Hot Air]
      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 04 24 at 03:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. #62 Andycanuck

      Thanks for the link I think.  It would appear that most there think that comedy and vulgarity go hand in hand.

      I always thought that Bill Cosby did stand-up comedy, must be wrong.

      The Smothers Brothers were certainly “provocative” but wouldn’t be considered to be on the same planet as that twit.  The only really edgy thing they did(I have all their early albums) was “Dance Boatman Dance”  where the boatman would go into town every night to pick-up their “oars”.

      “I’m a boatman, gee I’m sore, I came home without an “oar”.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 04 24 at 03:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. An email to The Neal Boortz Show this morning, purporting to be from a Crowe band member, claimed the “TP” episode to be a joke taken out of context by the mean ol’ media. Well, we all know how rampant anti-green bigotry is in the MSM. But, given Crowe’s history, I’m not buying it!

      Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 04 24 at 05:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dean Barnett blogs on “Sheryl Crow’s Botched Joke”. He sounds unconvinced, too.

      Posted by nofixedabode on 2007 04 24 at 05:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #62… Once again O’Donnell demonstrates that she is not a comedian, but is just a lot of what Barrymore left in the woods.

      Posted by Franklin on 2007 04 24 at 07:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Even if the word gets out that Crow was just jesting, the damage to her brand is irrevocable.

      Honestly, I believe she was joking too.  But this is just too good an opportunity to pass up to ridicule celebrity know-it-alls.

      In short, the entertainment community will no longer enjoy the credibility it once had as a home for sophisticated and mature analysis of global affairs. (Personal not to Sheryl Crow – See? That’s satire.)

      Exactly so.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 04 24 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Seeing as how she’s lying about her meeting with Karl Rove, I’m not buying it.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 04 24 at 08:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. That recruitment poster, I’ve always wondered what Mohammad looked like.

      Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 04 24 at 08:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. dining sleeve eh?, I going to patent the ‘wiping sleeve’ before she thinks of it.

      Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 04 24 at 08:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Handker-sleeve
      snot-sleeve

      work for me

      Posted by kae on 2007 04 24 at 08:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. I doubt that Crow was joking.  Remember, folks, the left is beyond parody.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 04 24 at 10:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jeff, “That’s satire”.  And what RebeccaH was doing is sarcasm.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 04 24 at 11:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. (I think, anyway. At least she can play it off that way now.)

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 04 24 at 11:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. From dean’s link found this: Sheryl Crow’s just copying.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 04 25 at 03:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. About that WW1 poster.

      Some things never change, eh? Central europe still scoops up all the swoony types and threatens to beat us with its Kulture Club.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 04 25 at 07:05 AM • permalink

 

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