Flannery inspires song, rain

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Last updated on July 2nd, 2017 at 08:14 am

Tuneless Australian band The Cat Empire become Geothermic popsters:

Last year – inspired by Tim Flannery’s The Weather Makers and a speech by Australian Conservation Foundation president Professor Ian Lowe on global warming – Riebl, 26, wrote a song called No Longer There explicitly addressing his concerns about climate change.

He began corresponding with Professor Lowe, and when Al Gore came to Australia in 2006, Riebl was one of the 85 people selected by the ACF to join his climate workshop.

Riebl began writing No Longer There soon after, coming up with the vocal hook: “What would you leave behind, if you’re no longer there?”

Answer: despite Tim Flannery’s predictions, a hell of a lot of water. And yet more still arriving:

Six weeks’ worth of water has been dumped into Sydney’s dams over the past seven days, the Sydney Catchment Authority says.

While its official figures, released each Thursday, are not due until 3pm, the authority predicts dam levels will hit about 63.5 per cent – a 2.5 per cent increase over last week.

More impressively, that figure is up from 36.9 per cent last year – in the month Flannery predicted the dams might be empty. There’s probably a song in that.

UPDATE. Further north – in a region Flannery last year claimed would see only temporary water increases – rainfall has been so abundant that restrictions will soon be lifted:

From Saturday, Gold Coasters will be able to wash cars, boats and houses, water gardens, fill children’s play pools and top up backyard pools on any day they want.

Sunrise ecogiggler Melissa Doyle – “my three-year-old has never played under a sprinkler” – ought to move there. Let the children play, Melissa!

(Via Skeeter)

Posted by Tim B. on 02/06/2008 at 10:54 PM
    1. To the tune of Frere Jacque (mentalfloss eat your heart out)

      Too much water,
      too much water,
      who was wrong?
      who was wrong?
      Flannery mistaken,
      Flannery mistaken,
      what a mong,
      what a mong.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 06 at 11:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Warmerning Top 40.

      37 with an anvil: “Everything I Say Is Frogshit” by Tim Flannery and the Doomsayers.

      Posted by fidens on 2008 02 06 at 11:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. Brisbane dam levels… they’re a lot higher now after inches of rain in the past few days.

      Flannery, Rain God.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 06 at 11:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. “What would you leave behind, if you’re no longer there?”

      Occassionally I leave a surprise for the next person entering the elevator.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 06 at 11:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m on it, Tim. First the lyrics, then tune. Possibly reggae, or cavatina with concertina.
      Working title “Apres Moi, le Deluge”.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2008 02 06 at 11:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. hahaha “deniers” will never win, the “warm-mongers” will just decree that the extra rain will cause the sea levels to rise and engulf entire nations!

      Hollywood to produce another film in 3…2..

      Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2008 02 06 at 11:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Riebl began writing No Longer There soon after, coming up with the vocal hook: “What would you leave behind, if you’re no longer there?”

      Five grandchildren, with the genetics and the family-taught smarts to survive and procreate, like our family has done for the last four million years or so.  What will you leave behind, you fearful “progressive” little eunuch?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 02 06 at 11:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #3 kae. The Gold Coast’s Hinze Dam has been over flowing for more than a month while the city was kept on Level 6 restrictions.
      A modicum of sanity has prevailed, and all water restrictions were lifted today.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2008 02 06 at 11:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. #1, Penguin, Very nice.

      Its raining in Perth WOOOOHOOOOOOO!
      We have a little issue here with our ‘progressive’ govt wanting to build a second desal plant for about 3 times the cost of whacking a dam on the Fitzroy river and piping as much water as we could possibly use down to Perth.

      That would be the Fitzroy that carries the most water of any river in Australia – straight out to sea.

      Of course its far more ‘progressive’ to build expensive, power hungry (what happened to the greenhouse?) desal plants than it is to dam a huge river in the Kimberley.

      Now I’ll admit that we’d loose some spectacular scenery, but shit the whole Kimberley is awesome.  Added benefit, we might get the folks from Fitzroy Crossing a job for a few years.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 06 at 11:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yes, Skeeter, I know. Excellent news. There’s talk that Brisbane should bring back water restrictions to level2, but the boffin on the committee said that they must “run their models” and look at all the possible eventualities.

      I’d love to wash my car.

      And my house (I have a Karcher). And then spray my house for spiders.

      A friend said that she was annoyed with people saying the water was being wasted flowing over the dam… well, duh, that’s what it’s supposed to do when it’s full…

      If they’re so concerned about the “wasted water” flowing over the dam perhaps they should go drink it. There’s no way to save it.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 12:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Around the world I’ve flown for you;
      I’ve travelled on, when hope was gone,
      To be a parvenu.
      I’d hoped somewhere, some time, somehow,
      They’d look at me, and they would see
      The truth that I avow.The weather changed in County Down
      And in New York, and China too, and even London Town.
      No more will I jet all around the world,
      Hope I’ll still have my baton twirled by you.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2008 02 07 at 12:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. blogstrop, more songs should rhyme “you” with “parvenu.”

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 02 07 at 12:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Figures realeased.  Seems we had a 3% increase to 64% – even better than expected – with rain still forecast for the next week.

      Posted by Fleeced on 2008 02 07 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. professor lowe wants there to be less people; so, with all this water around (thanks mr flannery) maybe we should do with people what we do with cats: put them in hessian bags and throw them in the water; here’s a song to sing while you are doing it;
      http://sniff.numachi.com/pages/tiDROWNCAT;ttROUNDHAT.html

      Posted by cohenite on 2008 02 07 at 12:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. #14 Flannery also wants less people. he’s on record as saying that the Australian continent can support about 10 million (from memory).
      The unspoken implication is that we are running down our agricultural & water stocks, and at some point will face a disaster.
      (this is completely separate from his warming doomsaying)
      What is it about doomsday scenarios that makes them so appealing to some people?

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 02 07 at 12:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. selected by the ACF to join his climate workshop.

      I read that as worship, with the snark reflex switch set firmly to the off-position.

      Just once, I’d like to hear the climate-change-hand-wringers advocate for a “static climate”, just to mix things up a bit and to marvel at the mental gymnastics deployed to make the case for a stagnant planet.

      It may take Hillary or Obama reaching the White House to finally put a fork in this fraud.

      After all, while Bill & the Gorebot were there, they didn’t do a damn thing about this non-problem (why should they, they already had power) and history tends to repeat.

      It would be fun to watch the true-believers heads explode too, when they see that nothing is going to change in a manner that would be harmful to the prosperity or economic growth of the U.S. or its’ trading-partners.

      Then I can point and laugh.

      Posted by Thomas on 2008 02 07 at 12:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re #7, Rebecca, Riebl leaves behind a few songs that might be remembered for a generation or so.  MIGHT.  If he’s lucky.  And we’re unlucky.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 07 at 12:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe The Moonbat Empire can explain why the world hasn’t warmed in 10 years?  How about all the record cold weather around the globe… If writing a song is too much, perhaps they could use interpretive dance.

      Posted by bondo on 2008 02 07 at 12:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim Flannery on ABC website 11 June 2005:

      “Because every litre you use now on your car, or your garden or whatever else, you might want to drink in a year’s time.”

      Tool.

      Posted by Craig Burden on 2008 02 07 at 01:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. #19 – Too right. I’ve got litres of stockpiled water, full of aphids and soap suds. Cellaring the stuff for a year did nothing.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 07 at 01:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope all this water dumping on Sydney hasn’t interfered with the construction of an expensive desalination plant.

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2008 02 07 at 01:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cool pix.Flash flooding in Brisbane, February 5 2008

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 01:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Last year – inspired by Tim Flannery’s The Weather Makers and a speech by Australian Conservation Foundation president Professor Ian Lowe on global warming – Riebl, 26, wrote a song called No Longer There

      If Riebl keeps writing songs like that neither will the Cat Empire.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 02 07 at 01:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. #22
      Look out for the Killer Poinciana… it attacked a bus!

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 01:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #20

      Remind me not to drink the punch at your next party.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 01:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Daddy Dave,

      What is it about doomsday scenarios that makes them so appealing to some people?

      These are people so physically or spiritually ugly that you’d swear you wouldn’t fuck ‘em if they were the last person on earth. Think Margo Kingston or Michael Leunig.

      But who can blame them, really? They’re just clinging to the idea that somewhere in the distant future there’s a slim chance they’ll get to put such firm resolve to the test.

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 02:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. We are suffering from dihydrogen monoxide poisoning here.  Oh the humanity!!!!!

      Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 07 at 02:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. We really must do something about all this dihydrous oxide getting about the place, seems to be causing all manner of problems in the eastern states, China and Ive even heard it had something to do with all those tornadoes stateside…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 02:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. BOLLOCKS!

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 02:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. #27 Surfmaster.

      Thanks for opening my eyes. No wonder the government is restricting its use.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 07 at 02:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Average Total Summer Rainfall for Perth is 35mmm – That is 35mm for three months.

      As of 9 am this morning we had received the summer average of 35 mm.  Since 9 am this morning we have had another 27.2mm to 3 pm.  Almost doubling the summer average!  It is still raining.

      There is a rainfall/water shortage in Perth.

      Apparently. . . .

      Posted by Razor on 2008 02 07 at 02:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Lets just hope it ends up in the catchments for the dams and not going out the floreat drain Razor…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 02:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. #29 Fair’s fair Wiz… surfie caught the wave first and you dropped in. On the other hand, he did paddle inside of you just before he took off.

      Oh well, everybody hassles out here at Tim’s Reef Break, it’s pretty gnarley, dude. But if you get a wave to yourself and make the section it’s a blast!

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 02:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 – Splice, gnarley break allright, got me leg rope caught in me mouse and had to re-wax the keyboard.  Dude.

      Posted by surfmaster on 2008 02 07 at 02:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15, Daddy Dave, Doomsday lovers are afraid.  They don’t have a clue what it takes to run an oil refinery, say, and would be overcome by the sheer logistics involved alone.  I often dream of them wandering alone within the confines of a refinery.  I think they would be terrified of the machinery, the mysterious pipes going everywhere—and the minds that were able to conceive of those pipes, and all the rest that is complex, purposeful, efficacious and produced by hard work.  They are afraid of what they are not, so they are afraid of any change so they are for surrender to nature.

      One nice side advantage of gaining power over those who run industries and global businesses, and I mean more than the power to pass out favors and permissions, is that they can demand submission to every little insanity they come up with–providing all they have to do is demand that something be done somehow, since they don’t have a clue how to make anything they demand actually happen.

      Posted by saltydog on 2008 02 07 at 02:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. it’s fucking cold as hell here in adelaide!
      where did the summer go….fuck you gaia!!!

      Posted by vinny on 2008 02 07 at 03:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. 35, myself:

      You might be wrong about the hard work stuff.  I note that it took a year for Reibl to come up with a song.  Deep thoughts, like “What would you leave behind, if you’re no longer there?” take a lot of work … for some people.

      Posted by saltydog on 2008 02 07 at 03:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 & 34, Fairs Fair indeed, its my own fault for looking out the back to see if it was a set.

      Maybe i should just type paddle faster…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 03:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. THE sky was brass, the lordly sun
      Looked down with fiery eye,
      The brown land’s rivers scarcely run,
      The red land’s streams are dry.High meadow’s crust is stiff and hard,
      The gum of sombre hue,
      The threadbare coat of rusty sward
      Needs patching—verdure anew.

      Still bearing down, still staring down,
      The remorseless rays are cast,
      And scorching hamlet, seething town
      Both swoon in their fiery blast.

      And heavy droops the Malee grain,
      Summer flowers wilt and die,
      They stretch their tiny stems in vain
      At clouds, for tears of sympathy

      The dust lies thick in township road,
      The cattle crowd to muddy pool,
      The swarming flies high revel hold—
      When out the buzzing village school

      Declaims one lad, Tim Flannery
      “A score of years I said, no rain”
      “Those cattle’r bound to tannery”
      “Dry for a score and more! I’m Tim! Admire my brain.”

      “Not all your tongues for its coming pray,”
      “Nor a million hearts for its advent long:”
      “I’ll shout to make you see my way—
      “Of science, truthiness; mankind gone wrong”

      Then comes the sound all ache to hear:
      The hurtling, arrowy rush of rain
      Summoning cohorts far and near
      Pelting roof and window-pane.

      And Flannery, for all his brain,
      Saw dust to mud transformed, and more:
      Walked home, red-faced, in pelting rain
      Muck pulled his heels, the streams did roar.

      “I’ll not pass here – with rope or line”
      “To the flats I’ll go, were it’s surely drained”
      His chums, all laughed as drunk with wine
      “Swim, you fool, it’s blessed rain!

      (pee—yew! what a stinker! I’d better stick to prose)

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2008 02 07 at 03:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cat Empire rock.  They a real trumpet-playin’ band.

      Their lyrics are moronically PC, sadly.

      Posted by ChrisPer on 2008 02 07 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Another song for Flannery. Like all good environuts he’ll soon be changing his tune.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 02 07 at 03:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. #38 I think we’d all better paddle faster, Wiz… check saltydog!

      Hoot! She’s just hopped some big air and slotted deep in the barrel on the two best waves of the day while we’ve been sitting here in the channel talking about it.

      We’re eatin’ her suds, guys!

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 03:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39 Floss. Go to my bar. Choose any of the 99 Cote de Bordeaux. It’s on the house. That’s very very good. Were you raised on phonics?

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 03:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #1, Penguin,

      Did you mean “what a mong nong”?

      Posted by Janice on 2008 02 07 at 03:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #1 Penguin. You too.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 03:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’ve got a lyric from Dan Hicks and the Hot Licks that’s relevant to Riebl

      ‘how can I miss you, if you won’t go away’

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 03:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39, Floss, Well done mate.  <Claps>

      #42, Splice, Could be a lot worse than suds; ever heard of an ocean grogan?

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 03:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Cat Empire toured Cuba a few years ago. There was a good article published in the Age (yeah when it was readable) once they arrived back in Oz.

      Before they left they were really excited about the trip and meeting Castro. Whilst they were upbeat on the music and night life scene, they had a return to reality when a few of the band members managed to slip out and meet some ‘real’ Cubans.

      Suddenly their demeanour went very cool on Castro’s Cuba with a remark something along the lines of “I’m not sure what I think about the rationing of 4 eggs a month or the curfews on electricity usage or the real story on the health system”. They didn’t try to hide it to their credit nor even more strangely did the Age edit those comments out.

      Dose of reality boys…maybe there’s hope for them yet.

      Posted by mindfree on 2008 02 07 at 03:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T: Just came across this article about a humanitarian aid worker.  The last paragraph made me immediately think of our friend acquaintance moonbat, Mr Flannery.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 03:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. “my three-year-old has never played under a sprinkler”

      I’ve met Frenchmen that spent their whole lives without taking a shower.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 07 at 04:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #47

      …ever heard of an ocean grogan?

      Sure have, Wiz. They were sometimes seen cruising off Manly Beach, before Sydney’s deep ocean outfall pipelines were put in place.

      The brown flow from under the headland used to make a murk slick known by rock-shelf fishermen with a stronger stomach than mine as the longest berley trail on the Northern Beaches.

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 04:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. Solar cycles cause weather cycles.
      Which man claims to control the Sun and the weather?

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 07 at 04:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #51, Splice, See now I bet the lefties would have said that was bad for the environment, despite the fact it was obviously feeding and attracting fish.

      Then again these are the same ‘tards who think nuclear power releases greenhouse gases…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 04:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39 Good. I liked it.

      #50 Now THAT stinks!

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 04:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #51 Sounds like the fisherpeople who used to (maybe they still do) fish the sewer outlet at the mouth of Ross River in Townsville.

      Biggest bream you’ve ever seen. Which I think said something about what they had been eating.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 04:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. #52, Stackja,

      Which man claims to control the Sun and the weather?

      It was Wronwright wasnt it?

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 04:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. If the Age of Reason was still with us, I daresay some genius would suggest some way to store all that water against the times when it doesn’t rain………. as predicted by Dorothea McKellar (who is clearly more prescient than flannelgob)

      Let me think–a large mountain valley, essentially deserted, all the native flora and fauna choked by weeds or eaten by foxes….build a wall across the mouth…just like the beavers…….A DAM!!!!

      Posted by Rod C on 2008 02 07 at 04:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #57 Not a lot of hope for that Rod C. Not with Labor running every State and Territory. Not after Hawke was elected on the emotion of Franklin River. So how much longer do we all suffer this beyond PC bullshit. Time for someone in authority to tell it like it is. And in Queensland’s sake – someone not so fat that she has to lean on the lecturn to do so.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 04:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. #47…the sailors call ‘em Sergeant Browns, or blind mullet.  There is a tale told that once upon a time, the Chief’s Mess on a certain Royal Yacht had a special one preserved in a bottle.

      Posted by Rod C on 2008 02 07 at 04:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. #58… I did put the caveat that the Age of Reason was still funct*. It’s not, and
      PC-wise, we aint seen nothing yet, mate*opposite of defunct

      Posted by Rod C on 2008 02 07 at 04:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #56 It’s not wronwright.

      Wronwright has the keys to a machine that can travel through spacetime and has a large cargo hold used to transport valuables like gold, Sumerian mead and little jars of biohazards. The man who invented the first gadget that could actually control the weather was Michael Lonie.

      Nobody knows for sure if the Jooos managed to get to Lonie before paco made his bid to buy the rights to the technology – or if that bid was successful.

      What is certain is that a large number of very powerful weather controlling machines have since been made and all of them are safely in the hands of the VRWC. They are used these days to rip the climate to and fro in an a seasonal cycle of sizzle and freeze. The idea is to frighten leftists into theatrical outbursts of doomsday paranoia and mouth-frothing stupidity.

      They’re surprisingly effective and Karl is pleased.

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 04:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. National Geographic are really starting to pee me off.  The magazine now comes in an oh-so-trendy recycled paper wrapper instead of plastic like the other magazines I subscribe to.  The bloody wrapper is not waterproof, unlike plastic wrappers, and of course the magazine arrives on the day when Canberra gets whacked with a thunderstorm that dumped 15mm of rain in 5 minutes.  Thanks National Geographic Society, the February magazine is now totally unreadable.

      I’m going to call them tomorrow to get another copy and tell them to use plastic. wrappers again

      Posted by craigo on 2008 02 07 at 04:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. #61, Splice, Just because he doesn’t actually control the weather wouldn’t stop Wron from claiming he does.

      He’s sneaky like that.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 05:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bolt from the blue on Kellow fellow.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 07 at 05:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. …..the sailors call ‘em Sergeant Browns, or blind mullet.  There is a tale told that once upon a time, the Chief’s Mess on a certain Royal Yacht had a special one preserved in a bottle.

      I heard this story also, many moons ago, from an ancient Pommy mariner.
      Allegedly the ship’s plumber (or naval equivalent) created a special trap in the Royal Dunny to catch and preserve a Royal Grogan, also allegedly one of King George VI’s.

      Truth or legend? No one will ever know.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2008 02 07 at 05:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim, Tim Flannery
      You are a magnificent sight to see!
      Your softly spoken warnings
      Of global carbon warmings
      Send an unseasonal chill through me.Doctor Tim, intrepid explorer;
      More intrepid, even than Dora.
      Your wisdom thrills
      As gaia kills
      Polar bears and other fauna.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 02 07 at 05:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. #60 Rod C. I now feel totally neutered. Can’t anyone offer me hope.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 05:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #66 I feel honoured to be the blog below that DD.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 05:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Daddy Dave, Flannery doesn’t seem to realise that we export two-thirds of our agricultural produce. Seems to suggest we could support a lot more than 10 million people. Even if he was correct that our agricultural productivity was trending down (which he isn’t), seems to me it would take a hell of a fall to reduce Australia’s capacity to half what we currently support.

      Posted by Francis H on 2008 02 07 at 05:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. Flummery: The end is nigh, we’re gonna die!
      Sensible Person: Oh yes?  How do you know?
      F: The drought, the drought, will take us out.
      The dams are all too low.
      SP: Yes, drought’s a pain, but then comes rain.
      The weather, it does change.
      F: Ha, ha!  You nong!  You are quite wrong.
      There’ll be no rain again.
      You should trust me; my PhD
      Shows I can be believed.
      Ignore the fact my doctors’ hat
      Comes from another field.
      SP: No way I will.  I know the drill.
      You have no climate cred.
      F: So what?  I’m smart and have a heart
      of gold, my friends have said.
      It cares for bees and birds and trees …
      SP: But people should be dead?
      F: Well, yes, a few.  Not me.  But you?
      It could be for the best.
      SP: The season’s changed.  Here comes the rain
      Just as it’s done before.
      The dams will fill and if we will
      We could build several more.
      F: Well, bugger me!  My speaking fee
      Might have to fall somewhat
      Unless I can, with great elan,
      Pretend I’m not a twat.

      Posted by Janice on 2008 02 07 at 05:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. #67 mehaul,

      “I now feel totally neutered. Can’t anyone offer me hope.”

      According to one of the Darwin Award winners, there is a great line in silicone testes these days.

      He was one of the rare “living” winners, as he castrated himself at an early age, thereby eliminating himself from the gene pool.

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 02 07 at 06:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. #70, Janice, Outstanding. <Claps>

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 06:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #44 Janice,

      Penguin meant “mong”.

      It’s short for mongrel.

      Your ditty about Flim Flam was BRILLIANT!!!

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 02 07 at 06:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. Janice, you been taking lessons from Lyle et al?

      Speaking of Lyle, where IS he?

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 07 at 06:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. #63

      Just because he doesn’t actually control the weather wouldn’t stop Wron from claiming he does.

      He’s sneaky like that.

      Wiz, funny you should say that, actually… I just saw Michael Lonie last week.

      They brought him down the stairs in chains, just like all the other prisoners and hung him in manacles on the dungeon wall beside me.

      We got to talking, you know, like what are you in for and stuff like that. I told him that I was told to polish a mark off of wronwright’s boot and straight away he said “You’re in for backchat, huh?” I said “Yeah, how’d ya know?” Lonie replied, a little rudely I might add, “Never mind! They want to know where I’ve hidden the blueprints and they’re gonna treat me pretty rough until I tell them. But honestly, I have no idea where they are! That’s exactly what I told the guy with the dark glasses in the café last week and it’s the truth!”

      Well, I’d been hanging up against that wall for four months and I was so skinny my wrists just slipped out of the iron rings. I said “Mike, too bad mate, be seein’ ya”, then slid between the bars and walked right out of there.

      Huh? What?!!!

      Oh yeah. Maybe I shoulda told somebody where he is… whose side do you think I’m on?

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 06:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #63 Control man Wron is wright? Or is Control man wron wrong?

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 07 at 07:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #76, Stackja, Well now that all depends on if he’s agreeing or disagreeing with Karl.

      Its never wise to disagree with Karl…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 07 at 07:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. #77 77 sunset strip, the street that wears a fancy label why? never wise to disagree with Karl?

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 07 at 07:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. #73.  Pog, I thought it was short for “mongoloid”.

      As in a nuf-nuf.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2008 02 07 at 07:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. #71. Pog. Silicone testes. Does that make me eligaballball?

      I’m so nervous!

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 07 at 08:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. Flummery has no creedence in stopping the rain

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 07 at 09:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #66 🙂

      #69
      Yup n well known for our international export of organic foods … with high ‘food miles’, hehe …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 02 07 at 09:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. #61 splice –

      Wronwright has the keys to a machine that can travel through spacetime and has a large cargo hold used to transport valuables like gold, Sumerian mead and little jars of biohazards. The man who invented the first gadget that could actually control the weather was Michael Lonie.

      Lonie?  The only thing Michael Lonie has ever invented was a Christmas fruitcake that I’m still burping.  The weather machine was invented by the Japs, before World War II.  Section J (yes, J) took control of it in 1936 and we placed it into orbit in 1947.  We consider that a great success, notwithstanding the slight problem afterwards in Roswell, NM.

      The involvement Lonie has with the weather machine is he was given the portfolio for that responsibility a couple years ago.  After Katrina.  And um, Rita.  Apparently, he can read the Japanese operators manual.  Or so he told Karl.

      What is certain is that a large number of very powerful weather controlling machines have since been made and all of them are safely in the hands of the VRWC. They are used these days to rip the climate to and fro in an a seasonal cycle of sizzle and freeze. The idea is to frighten leftists into theatrical outbursts of doomsday paranoia and mouth-frothing stupidity.

      Bullshit, I say. I think it’s far more likely Lonie is haphazardly punching various buttons, trying to figure out how to run the weather machine.  Good luck on that.  Whatever he does, he’d best not push the RED button.  Never the RED button.

      They’re surprisingly effective and Karl is pleased.

      Pure.  Fucking.  Luck.  (grumbles)

      Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 07 at 09:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. SAID HANRAHAN by John O’Brien
      ==============================“We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      In accents most forlorn,
      Outside the church, ere Mass began,
      One frosty Sunday morn.

      The congregation stood about,
      Coat-collars to the ears,
      And talked of stock, and crops, and drought,
      As it had done for years.

      “It’s looking crook,” said Daniel Croke;
      “Bedad, it’s cruke, me lad,
      For never since the banks went broke
      Has seasons been so bad.”

      “It’s dry, all right,” said young O’Neil,
      With which astute remark
      He squatted down upon his heel
      And chewed a piece of bark.

      And so around the chorus ran
      “It’s keepin’ dry, no doubt.”
      “We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      “Before the year is out.”

      “The crops are done; ye’ll have your work
      To save one bag of grain;
      From here way out to Back-o’-Bourke
      They’re singin’ out for rain.

      “They’re singin’ out for rain,” he said,
      “And all the tanks are dry.”
      The congregation scratched its head,
      And gazed around the sky.

      “There won’t be grass, in any case,
      Enough to feed an ass;
      There’s not a blade on Casey’s place
      As I came down to Mass.”

      “If rain don’t come this month,” said Dan,
      And cleared his throat to speak –
      “We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      “If rain don’t come this week.”

      A heavy silence seemed to steal
      On all at this remark;
      And each man squatted on his heel,
      And chewed a piece of bark.

      “We want an inch of rain, we do,”
      O’Neil observed at last;
      But Croke “maintained” we wanted two
      To put the danger past.

      “If we don’t get three inches, man,
      Or four to break this drought,
      We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      “Before the year is out.”

      In God’s good time down came the rain;
      And all the afternoon
      On iron roof and window-pane
      It drummed a homely tune.

      And through the night it pattered still,
      And lightsome, gladsome elves
      On dripping spout and window-sill
      Kept talking to themselves.

      It pelted, pelted all day long,
      A-singing at its work,
      Till every heart took up the song
      Way out to Back-o’-Bourke.

      And every creek a banker ran,
      And dams filled overtop;
      “We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      “If this rain doesn’t stop.”

      And stop it did, in God’s good time;
      And spring came in to fold
      A mantle o’er the hills sublime
      Of green and pink and gold.

      And days went by on dancing feet,
      With harvest-hopes immense,
      And laughing eyes beheld the wheat
      Nid-nodding o’er the fence.

      And, oh, the smiles on every face,
      As happy lad and lass
      Through grass knee-deep on Casey’s place
      Went riding down to Mass.

      While round the church in clothes genteel
      Discoursed the men of mark,
      And each man squatted on his heel,
      And chewed his piece of bark.

      “There’ll be bush-fires for sure, me man,
      There will, without a doubt;
      We’ll all be rooned,” said Hanrahan,
      “Before the year is out.”

      Posted by murph on 2008 02 07 at 12:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. BTW.  Melissa Doyle is a dull retard.

      Posted by murph on 2008 02 07 at 12:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. #58 to be fair Peer Beattie decided to build a dam on the Mary river.

      Mind you, the best site in South East Qld is wolfdene near Beenleigh, but seeing as many of the ALP in Qld were elected opposing that dam (which if built would now be overflowing like neighbouring Hinze Dam), they very well couldn’t build it there now.

      Of course the ALP used their special selection criteria for the alternate dam location, where the chief hydrological feature examined is electoral boundaries.  The electorate where the broad, flat Mary Valley (and magnificent dairy country) is located and soon to be inundated by Traveston has never been held by the ALP.

      Posted by entropy on 2008 02 07 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #65 Pedro….The naval equivalent of “ship’s plumber” is “ship’s plumber’ or boat if its a submarine

      Posted by Rod C on 2008 02 07 at 04:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. #83 wronwright

      I think it’s far more likely Lonie is haphazardly punching various buttons, trying to figure out how to run the weather machine.

      So that’s how it really is, huh?

      Well, that’s the last time I listen to idle dungeon chatter amongst fellow minions. *sigh* I suppose all that stuff Lonie told me about “invisibility paint” is a load of bollocks too.

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 07 at 04:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, no, that part is true.  The top secret Dupont labs did a great job coming up with it.  A problem arose is when MarkL and a few minions—whose names I will not divulge but are recorded in this black book right here—were assigned to repaint Karl’s, Bushitler’s, Cheney’s, and John Howard’s Lear jets.  Now we can’t find them.  And Howard is still in his!

      Idiots!  Get back onto that tarmac and continue groping.

      Posted by wronwright on 2008 02 07 at 05:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. #70 and #84 Share the prize…

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2008 02 07 at 05:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. What substance should Flannery not take before he makes predictions about the weather?

      Posted by GerardB on 2008 02 07 at 05:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Somewhat ironic, hey?

      But the Aussie Bullshit Collective and most commentators cant spell let alone define irony or hypocrisy
      Long live Tim, the Bolta and Piers!

      Posted by Jazza on 2008 02 07 at 08:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. 26
      Can I add Philip Adams,Traceeeeeee H ,Red Kez, Silver Tony and Ray Martin for seconds,
      P U H L E E Z E???????????????????

      Posted by Jazza on 2008 02 07 at 08:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. For the record, the spelling at #1 is deliberate. Mr Creosote at #79 is correct.

      Nong is inadequate as a description of Flannery’s affliction.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 07 at 09:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Captain Bligh was on the teeve this morning throwing a few bones to quiet the baying hounds.
      She has promised that “good news” will be announced on water restrictions in a week or so if the dams continue to rise.
      Since the rains started in spring 2007, the Qld government has been saying that water restrictions would not be lifted, no matter how much rain we get in the 2007-2008 summer wet season.
      In other words, some sort of water restrictions will apply even if all the dams are full.
      It must follow that there are not enough dams to provide a reliable supply for the existing population.
      Now that the AGW gulls are proven to be hopeless forecasters, governments are going to have to find new excuses for poor infrastructure planning.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2008 02 07 at 09:57 PM • permalink

 

  1. It doesnt seem fair for Flannery to cop so much shit; after all how harsh can you be to someone who annoints themself with the non-threatening warm-fuzzy moniker “village explainer
    I read it for you so you dont have to puke.
    “Flannery has always aspired to the role of village explainer….”
    “Village explainer goes global…”
    “That Flannery as village explainer has gone super-global…..persuasion without the arm twist, telling, yes, but showing (dramatising) first of all.”
    “….but the flimsy quill of the village explainer often turns out to be rather too heavy to lift for those best equipped to clarify the complications”….Thank God then that our Flannery, that magnificent bastard, is up to the challenge.  Of course.
    Flannery’s shameless bullshit is redesignated “Tim Flannery’s rigorous scientific method…”

    Posted by Mr Simmon on 2008 02 08 at 12:11 AM • permalink