Fix that address

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 04:07 pm

Our colourful leftoid friend Bryan Law emails:

I’ve started a blog, Rise Up to End War. Tip: Userpics in the profile are occasionally hilarious.

My first post is the first draft of my opening address to the jury. I want to put it through a democratic polishing, and get acquitted. I’m sure your readers could help.

I’d be grateful if you could make a small announcement and maybe links between us.

I’ll be updating the blog every few days till the trial, and will give a blow by blow during the trial.



Happy to help, Bryan! Readers: get to work polishing his opening address.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/02/2007 at 12:19 PM
    1. Oh, I’d love to help, but the yacht needs polishing and the Audi needs polishing and the silver needs polishing! Honestly, so much to do! Perhaps one of Bryan’s more underutilized pals could help……….

      Posted by Rob C. on 2007 05 02 at 12:33 PM • permalink


    1. “…Christians Against ALL Terrorism does not call for Pine Gap to be dismantled, but to be transformed and brought under United Nations control.’‘

      Oh please, he’s not serious, is he?

      Posted by Sonetka’s Mom on 2007 05 02 at 12:37 PM • permalink


    1. “My name is Bryan Law, I’m 53 years old. I’m a husband, a father, and a nonviolent social justice activist. I drive a taxi in Cairns for money.”

      Unless there is a long-standing tradition of driving taxis in Cairns for creels of fish, I’d just say you drive a taxi. Unless you think that the “nonviolent social justice activist” part makes you sound like a layabout who hasn’t worked with his hands since his girlfriend threw out the Playboy collection, in which case mentioning money is probably okay.

      “You already know what’s involved in family life, and how rewarding/challenging it can be.”

      Practice the pronunciation of “/,” as it’s very tricky. Consult a Xhosa if you need additional help.

      Posted by Lileks on 2007 05 02 at 12:39 PM • permalink


    1. Four score and seven years ago

      You shall not crucify mankind on a cross of gold

      Let him without sin cast the first stone

      Your Honor, I was stoned out of my gourd! I had no idea what I was doing! Look. I can get you a list of the the people behind the whole thing. I’ll sing, tell you whatever you want to know! Just, please, please don’t put me away!! I can’t take that prison food. MAN CANNOT LIVE MY BREAD ALONE; HE MUST HAVE CHEETOS!!!

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 02 at 12:47 PM • permalink


    1. Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, Bryan’s attorney would certainly want you to believe that his client wrote “Stinky Britches” ten years ago. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
      Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I’m a lawyer defending a major record company, and I’m talkin’ about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you’re in that jury room deliberatin’ and conjugatin’ the Emancipation Proclamation, [approaches and softens] does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.”

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 05 02 at 12:49 PM • permalink


    1. The war in Iraq is the first war being fought under the 2002 Bush Doctrine, and is indistinguishable from a war of aggression.

      You forgot Afghanistan, Bryla; that was the first war.  Wotta surprise.

      Now, ‘splain this one to me:

      The Parliamentary democracy I grew up in regulated the power of the executive through a a convention of Ministerial accountability – whereby a Minister might lie to the public as much as they like, but they could not lie to Parliament, and must resign if found to have exercised insufficient care in meeting their responsibilities.

      Is the emphasized portion written into Australian law, or just another example of your truthiness, Bryla?  I mean, is there a reason why Ministers were free to lie to the public, but not Parliment?  One would think that they shouldn’t lie at all….don’t you?

      I remember February 4 2003 when Prime Minister Howard told the Parliament that the Australian government “knew” (the Australian government “knows”) that Saddam Hussein had biological and chemical Weapons of Mass Destruction, and was working actively to acquire nuclear weapons. A gross and deliberate lie. A knowing lie.

      You forgot Rudd, Clinton, Pelosi, and a whole lot of other people in your list, Bryla.  You might want to add them in, so that you can cover ALL the basis.  I mean, you are against ALL terrorism, so be sure to include ALL the players.

      In the USA we’ve seen the Boston Tea Party, the Civil Rights movement, and the US Peace Movement itself – which has now, after five years’ determined effort, organised a change in both houses of their parliament to one which will both withdraw from Iraq when able, and defeat the neo-con presidency in 2008.

      Comparing your tiny organization to the Boston Tea Party and Civil Rights movement is extreme hubris, Bryla; your vanity and narcissim is showing plainly.  Might want to tone down the rhetoric some, less you blind the jurors.

      Oh, and the USA has Congress, not a parliment.  There’s a basic difference between the two, and that you don’t know it demonstrates how little you know about the USA.

      Not to mention the fact that Bush is not up for re-election in 2008, if that’s what you mean by “…defeat the neo-con presidency in 2008.

      It’s right and just that citizens of good conscience take whatever action is available to them to bring this stupid, bloody and criminal war to a speedy end.

      That’s an excellent summary, Bryla.  Keep it exactly as is.  I’m sure that the jury will be glad to hear that you think trespassing on a restricted installation will influence the Iraq war.  They’ll be delighted to know that you think that you are instrumental in the World Peace Movement.

      {chortles uncontrollably as TRJS imagines Bryla stroking his beard while reading these comments, nodding sagely, and muttering to himself, “Thank you, Jeff, for the wonder comments!”}

      PS: While you’re in prison, Bryla, consider taking up gardening.  Might do you a world of good.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 02 at 01:03 PM • permalink


    1. Mr. Lileks, I think it more likely that Bryla drove a taxi in exchange for hallucinogenic substances, and not mere food.  But you make a good point about his wording.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 02 at 01:06 PM • permalink


    1. Hmmm,

      Bryan needs help with a little “polishing” and promises a “blow by blow” of the trial.

      Bryan, a piece of advice, no matter what you do, you’re gonna “suck”.

      Hey, how’s that for an ad hominem?

      Damn I’m cranky today.  Must be related to the notice I got in the mail from the IRS that I under paid my taxes by $12.00 in 1997.  Ten fracking years and they probably spent 100 times that amount to let me know.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 05 02 at 01:21 PM • permalink


    1. I’d also like you to understand that our actions are not isolated instances of frustration and despair welling up as some kind of futile protest action.

      It just seems like it. In reality, trespassing upon one facility is the lynchpin to bring all military activity ( except perhaps when the icky fascists are risking their lives delivering food aid)to a sudden halt. And they would have done it too, if it weren’t for those pesky kids. But I digress. As do you.

      I know that some people are driven to such actions, and that it’s a common stereotype of peace activists as being a few sandwiches short of a picnic when it comes to knowledge and judgement.

      Perish the thought. Based upon the photographic evidence, I think that all sadwiches are present or accounted for.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 02 at 01:27 PM • permalink


    1. Santa! OMG! I just knew they were lying.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 02 at 01:35 PM • permalink


    1. USA we’ve seen the Boston Tea Party

      Uh, the Boston Tea Party was not an example of nonviolence. A group of protesters overpowered the crew tending the ship in the harbor, and physically destroyed private property by dumping it in Boston harbor. I might also point out that this is clearly an example of illegal dumping that probably harmed our environment.

      Its immediate result was to goad the British Parliment into concluding that existing Colonial authority was inadequate to the task, which caused them to ship troops, which led to further, even more violent confrontations.

      And this is supposed to be a good thing?

      P. S. You cited Dorothy Day. She was opposed to stopping Hitler. She was also opposed to stopping the Japanese from invading Australia. Mention that to the judge. Please.
      P.S. II You advocate handing over facilities in Australia to the UN? And which member nation or nations should man these? The ones raping children in Africa? Or perhaps the ones who’ve hijacked the latest Human Rights comittee?Howz about you start advocating turning over Chinese or Russian facilities to UN control? DO let us know how you fare. You can tell the judge that that can be your community service.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 02 at 01:50 PM • permalink


    1. The war in Iraq, they will say, is irrelevant to the charges.

      Oh I don’t know. The prosecutor, if he (or she) is feeling loquatious, might give a speech something like this:

      The defendant was under a deluded belief that the Pine Gap base has something to do with terrorists executing Iraqi Muslim children and blowing up marketplaces on the other side of the world.
      That the defendant has strong opinions about how that problem in Iraq can be solved. The defendant’s opinions, through a long train of tangled logic, somehow led him to a military base in the middle of the australian desert. The defendant admits he does not know the purpose of this base, but is certain that it is involved somehow in these terrible events.
      While I cannot entirely follow the convoluted reason of the defendant, it goes something like this. The Pine Gap base (whatever it’s for) is run by a branch of the American Government.
      There are American troops stationed in Iraq (although none of those troops are also stationed at Pine Gap – the reasons for this I will leave for you to deduce). There are evil militants in Iraq killing Iraqis and these militants do not like American troops. QED.
      Ladies and gentlemen, I do not pretend that these are the thoughts or actions of a sane or intelligent man. However, they are the actions of a lawbreaker.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 02 at 01:53 PM • permalink


    1. Blue Hen,

      And as George Banks pointed out in Mary Poppins, dumping the tea in the harbour made the tea undrinkable, even for Americans

      Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey on 2007 05 02 at 03:04 PM • permalink


    1. Well, speaking taxonomically, I’d classify it as Homo Sinisteris Moronicus, though some would argue for Austrailaninsis.

      I’m sure the judge will be only too happy to sit through 15-20 minutes of inane and immaterial lefty screed.

      You betcha.

      Posted by mojo on 2007 05 02 at 03:05 PM • permalink


    1. I suggest he play mood music in the background. It can be bright and breezy when he’s talking about the peace activists, and dramatic and sinister when he mentions America, Pine Gap, or John Howard.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 02 at 03:06 PM • permalink


    1. His speech is perfect.  He should deliver it just as written.  The jury will be so eager to stop the self-righteous droning, they’ll convict him out of hand.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 02 at 03:17 PM • permalink


    1. Sweet baby Jesus, that speech doesn’t need polishing, it needs to be thrown in the round file.

      I can offer a tip, Bryan:  You need to shave, cut your hair, and wear something that looks like it hasn’t been fought over by homeless people.

      Imperial Keeper

      Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 05 02 at 03:19 PM • permalink


    1. He does realise that he doesn’t get to walk around the courtroom like on Law and Order, right? Australian courtrooms are not like TV.

      Also, perhaps a lawyer could advise whether he will be able to spend “some time presenting evidence about spiritual nonviolence and its relevance to our lives today”. Wouldn’t a good opposition lawyer object on the basis of relevance?

      /not a lawyer

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 05 02 at 03:31 PM • permalink


    1. Also suggest you take out the bit that starts, “Many of you are Christians, at least nominally, and you’ll be aware of the loving nonviolent Jesus in the Gospels.”

      The chances of pulling a bunch of people of diverse religions or even just with a bad experience at Catholic school in grade 5 would seem to outweigh any point you are trying to make here.

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 05 02 at 03:33 PM • permalink


    1. Looks like he didn’t read the Bible too closely about Jesus and the moneylenders, either.

      Imperial Keeper

      Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 05 02 at 03:35 PM • permalink


    1. He does realise that he doesn’t get to walk around the courtroom like on Law and Order, right?

      I wish he did. I’d pay to be there.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 02 at 03:37 PM • permalink


    1. And another three minutes of my life shot all to hell.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 05 02 at 03:50 PM • permalink


    1. Also suggest you take out the bit that starts, “Many of you are Christians, at least nominally, and you’ll be aware of the loving nonviolent Jesus in the Gospels.”

      The chances of pulling a bunch of people of diverse religions or even just with a bad experience at Catholic school in grade 5 would seem to outweigh any point you are trying to make here.

      Speaking from the other end of the spectrum, him attempting to tell us that Christianity involves this stupidity will meet the same response that I give to fellow Catholics who invoke the sacred name of Dorothy Day. She didn’t care if Europe stayed conquered, or if Fascism had won. She was bent upon worshipping pacifism. I usually follow up with my opinion regarding Pax Christi and the Catholic Worker Movement. Hint: It isn’t overwhelmingly positive.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 02 at 03:55 PM • permalink


    1. #6:

      The Parliamentary democracy I grew up in regulated the power of the executive through a a convention of Ministerial accountability – whereby a Minister might lie to the public as much as they like, but they could not lie to Parliament, and must resign if found to have exercised insufficient care in meeting their responsibilities.

      Is the emphasized portion written into Australian law, or just another example of your truthiness, Bryla?  I mean, is there a reason why Ministers were free to lie to the public, but not Parliment?  One would think that they shouldn’t lie at all….don’t you?

      It was a long time ago but I recall a commandment about ‘bearing false witness’. Why would a Christian be aching for the good ol’ days when it was acceptable for a politician to bear false witness everywhere but in a particular room in a particular city?

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 05 02 at 04:01 PM • permalink


    1. Hey, Bryan, if only to be ecumenical, could you work in a few references to the Buddha, Mohammed and various Hindu gods, as being on your side. Would be more PC, less monocultural and go down better with the multi-culti crowd.

      Posted by Big Arnie on 2007 05 02 at 04:17 PM • permalink


    1. I’m connected to the Internet, so I can monitor the global situation.

      This is the point at which he produces Exhibit A, the Global Monitoring Internet Connector.

      Posted by mimritty on 2007 05 02 at 04:35 PM • permalink


    1. Bryla and Branson; two examples of public insanity in the one day.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 05 02 at 05:07 PM • permalink


    1. get to work polishing his opening address
      That would be polishing a turd tirade.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 05 02 at 05:46 PM • permalink


    1. Dear Readers,
      I have on reflection come to understand that I have nothing to of any value to say.
      All I’m really good for is reciting tired cliches.
      Rest assured I will continue to enjoy the benefits and liberties of Western civilisation while continuing to deride the same. But rather than take up expensive premises in cyberspace I’ll keep it among my little circle of friends. They’re the only people with a smidgen of interest in what I pass off as insight anyway.
      Maybe one day I’ll leave it all behind. Maybe I’ll go and live in a cave and never be heard from again.
      But don’t count on it.
      Warm Regards,

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 02 at 05:49 PM • permalink




    1. Tsk, tsk, SwinishCapitalist.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 02 at 05:56 PM • permalink


    1. How about Bryla’s profile page

      I’m 53…a practitioner of Gandhian nonviolence for 26 years.

      Presumably he’s been an unreconstructed thug for half his life.

      Virtual Gifts Received: 0
      Send bryla a virtual gift

      Wonder why ‘Granny Panties’ are listed…

      Posted by JAFA on 2007 05 02 at 05:59 PM • permalink


    1. Hmmmmm. spiritual nonviolence…

      Sort of like the way those planes were flown into those buildings, isn’t it?

      After all, the hijackers were spiritually driven, and it’s not like they ran amok with machine guns and mowed people down. They only inflicted damage upon the airplanes. It’s just an unfortunate side-effect that there were people involved who ended up dead.

      /sarc off
      and apologies to anyone offended.

      Personally, I find bryla a pompous moron, and whenever I see his name I think of this.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 05 02 at 06:09 PM • permalink


    1. Consider me scolded, TRJS.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 02 at 06:22 PM • permalink


    1. Perhaps he’s going for an insanity defense?  Or inadequate counsel?

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 05 02 at 06:31 PM • permalink


    1. Hell, I rise up every morning. And then I get out of bed.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 02 at 06:33 PM • permalink


    1. Achillea, a judge might declare him incomptetent to stand trial.

      In which case, I hope that Bryla loses his taxi license as well.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 02 at 06:33 PM • permalink


    1. Is cool, SwinishCapitalist.  Those italics are slippery buggers.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 02 at 06:34 PM • permalink


    1. I’m a bit shy on Ghandi facts, but didn’t he NOT break the law – just refused to abide by it peacefully?  I’m sure he never stormed a British military facility.

      And did he not advocate violence:

      Gandhi guarded against attracting to his satyagraha movement those who feared to take up arms or felt themselves incapable of resistance. ‘I do believe,’ he wrote, ‘that where there is only a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence.’”

      From wiki.

      A jury of Alice Springs residents … good luck!

      I saw him on Denton – was quite well spoken.

      ps There’s, not theirs – amongst other typos.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 02 at 06:36 PM • permalink


    1. Trespassing on a quiet military base in the Australian desert is going to stop militant extremists slaughtering Iraqis.
      but how, exactly?

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 05 02 at 06:45 PM • permalink


    1. Hi Margos!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 02 at 06:48 PM • permalink


    1. This is in no way related to the thread (and thus OT by a wide margin) but I just wanted people to know I have MeatLoaf on the stereo, it is loud and the neighbours are sure to complain soon as it is well past 00h45…

      /Take the good things in life when you can, I reckon.
      //“I take pleasure in the details. You know… a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle…”

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2007 05 02 at 06:49 PM • permalink


    1. You know, I think Bryla’s taken a leaf out of Ayn Rand – his address sounds like an insane inversion of Howard Roark’s defence at the end of The Foutainhead.

      Some of the responses on his thread are hilarious (I sniff a Blairite or two amongst them). “Remember, don’t drop the soap.” Bwahahaha.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 02 at 06:55 PM • permalink


    1. I’d help, but my girlfriend needs polishing.

      Posted by TallDave on 2007 05 02 at 06:59 PM • permalink


    1. Dolly did it!

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 02 at 07:06 PM • permalink


    1. “In my defence, I would like to point out to the jury that we are Christians Against ALL Terrorism, and out next venture was going to be Afghanistan, where we were to infiltrate the stronghold of one of the Taliban cells as a form of protest against their terrorism and repression of the people of that country. We would also trick them into disclosing the location of Osama bin Laden, and then we’d be off to him for a similar demonstration. After we picked our heads off the ground.”

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 02 at 07:06 PM • permalink


    1. Pitty this guy’s offspring.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 02 at 07:07 PM • permalink


    1. If you are being prosecuted for simple tresspass, it won’t be the Supreme Court and there won’t be a jury, just a lone and overworked magistrate who has to deal with real stuff all day every day, not this grandstanding incoherrent rubbish.

      Give it a run by all means, but make sure you make some mention of the magna carta. Those two words really make the judiciary sit up and take notice.

      The pity of it is that when you get convicted, you probably won’t even get gaol and if you do, you’ll probably get put in the Alice Springs bin, not Berrimah (Darwin) where Bradley Murdoch is.

      If you do manage to get orf, I suggest a celebratory trip to Wolf Creek Meterorite Crater (go 20km north of Alice, turn left and go about 400km) there, just after sunset you will meet a bloke called Mick, who will tow your vehicle and give you a nice drink of rainwater…

      Don’t get a lawyer, whatever you do, you’ll do just fine….

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 02 at 07:36 PM • permalink


    1. Nice invocation of Kennedy into the “peace” movement.

      Would this be the same JFK who:
      (a) fought Nixon on the basis that the Republicans had not built enough nuclear weapons to counter the Soviets;
      (b) launched Bay of Pigs;
      (c) stared down Castro and Kruschev, to the point of nuclear war, during the Cuban Missile Crisis; and
      (d) sent in large numbers of troops to assist a friendly Government fight against a murderous insurgency financed and supplied by outside forces in Iraq Vietnam?

      If that is his avatar of “peace”, oooh, then gimme more…

      Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 05 02 at 07:39 PM • permalink


    1. I’ll give the guy credit, Tim. If he actually emailed you asking for you to post this and welcoming responses from your readers, he must have a sense of humor. (Either that, or he’s as thick as a bag of hammers.)

      But he’s been here often enough that he must have some sort of idea of what your site is about and what sort of response he was likely to get.

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 05 02 at 08:05 PM • permalink


    1. #49 Oops, I was mistaken, it seems that you are to front Thomas J and Jury in first grade.

      Maximum sentence is seven years, but don’t worry, you’ll only get half that. But you will go to Berrimah. Where Mr Murdoch is.

      Don’t you ever think of the impact on your wife and child before you undertake this pointless stupidity? You selfish idiot.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 02 at 08:09 PM • permalink


    1. Christian eh Brylaw?

      Not In My Name!


      Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2007 05 02 at 08:10 PM • permalink


    1. Bryla try this:

      Sod off, you senile sack of shit in a dirty black bathrobe!  I deny your fascist court’s juridiction over a child of peace like myself!

      Should go over a treat.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 02 at 08:30 PM • permalink


    1. #3

      Didn’t he say some time ago that he bludged off was supported by his rich missus?

      Things must be grim if he’s driving a taxi – isn’t he a lawyer?

      Didn’t I also read some time ago that he was in gaol?

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 02 at 08:33 PM • permalink


    1. If it’s a lie that Saddam had WMD and chemical weapons, what on earth killed all the Kurds?

      Swamp gas?

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 02 at 08:36 PM • permalink


    1. I’d have thought Bwyan was a member of the breakaway faction, Christians United against Naughty Terrorism- he’s a walking example of their very nature.

      I know the old saying that “he who defends himself in court has a fool for a client” is pretty well proven here, but Christ on a pogo stick, he’d be better off getting some wino passed out on the courthouse steps to handle the brief; bath-time buggery is going to be the least of Bryan’s problems, I’d say the jury will pass a motion to bring back the Judas Chair.

      I believe for once a prison will be aptly named- Darwin’s Fanny Bay will be an accurate description of Bryan’s fjord-dimensioned colon.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 02 at 08:37 PM • permalink


    1. Bryla could try converting to Islam and claiming he was quoted out of context?

      Posted by the nailgun on 2007 05 02 at 08:40 PM • permalink


    1. I can offer a tip, Bryan:  You need to shave, cut your hair, and wear something that looks like it hasn’t been fought over by homeless people.

      Brian lost the fight…

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 02 at 08:41 PM • permalink


    1. Bwyan could opt for the Julia Gillard approach, no doubt honed during the years spent at reputable law firm Slater & Gordon:-

      “Your worship, as you can tell by my garb, hairstyle, appearance and aura created by the halogen spotlight behind me and industrial fan in front, I am in fact the New Messiah, brought onto earth to lead my chosen people away from naughty war and over the horizon radar. As such, you wouldn’t want to convict me- just look at the shitstorm that descended on the last beak who nailed up one of us. I’ll be off now if that’s alright, there’s some lepers down in the bed of the Todd who could do with some old fashioned laying on of hands.”

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 02 at 08:51 PM • permalink


    1. He does realise that he doesn’t get to walk around the courtroom like on Law and Order, right?

      Quick, somebody pitch an Australian spinoff to the networks: Bryan Law and Disorder

      Posted by PW on 2007 05 02 at 08:53 PM • permalink


    1. regarding Bryan’s mention of Gandhi – I used to admire Gandhi and his non-violence pitch until I read how he recommended the Jews should have committed collective suicide to escape from the Nazis and teach the rest of the world a lesson.

      I suppose he didn’t have the time to do it himself!

      What this “lesson” would have taught anyone is anyone’s guess.

      Under all his rhetoric, an anti-Semite.

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 05 02 at 09:25 PM • permalink


    1. #49
      Wolfe Creek National Park, similar to Arizona’s Meteor Cater.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 02 at 09:26 PM • permalink


    1. #63
      Crater, even. PIMF

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 02 at 09:30 PM • permalink


    1. hello Bryan,
      “the loving nonviolent Jesus” was not a Christian. He was Jewish. Christianity proper didn’t start as a religion till about fifty years after Jesus’ death, when St Paul (who used to be Saul of Tarsus, another Jew) made the thing official (don’t know how, haven’t got that far in the manual).

      As far as being against ALL terrorists goes, how’s your division against Palestinian suicide bombers going?

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 05 02 at 09:32 PM • permalink


    1. My Advice –

      1. Tell the Judge and Jury to “Suck your nuts”.

      2. Use the Ghandian method of non-violent protest in prison. You’ll be everybodies favourite scratching post in no time.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 02 at 09:57 PM • permalink


    1. I’m a non-violent pacifist too. Doesn’t mean I won’t beat the shit out of someone if I thought it would be effective. It’s just that I’d prefer other means.

      Posted by phil_b on 2007 05 02 at 10:01 PM • permalink


    1. Well Bryan, I don’t think you should end the address to the jury by saying “cheers, Bryan”.

      As for the rest, I didn’t read it. Goes on forever. The jury will tune out about three pars into it although I expect the judge will end your speech before you get that that far.

      That’s because there is a bigger problem – evidence. You don’t have any. All you have is rumours, innuendos and unsubstantiated claims.

      If I were you, shut up and cop the fine. Push on and you will be sharing a cell with a guy name Mongrel who hasn’t had a bit of white meat for months.

      Posted by Contrail on 2007 05 02 at 10:18 PM • permalink


    1. Is this ‘throwback’ to the sixties actually having a trial? or will he be appearing before a magistrate, for being just another dumb ass and a bloody pest. He is another example of a sad, latent hippie ‘drama queen’, hungry for attention, wasting people’s time.
      The only blow by blow I want to hear from ol’ Bryla, will be the blow by blow of a couple of T batons, beating some sense into his gourd.
      I am not advocating violence here, (well, for his sort, a couple of ‘taps’ would be beneficial) but these drop kicks always crave attention and publicity, useless twat.

      Posted by BJM on 2007 05 02 at 10:30 PM • permalink


    1. I have nothing but contempt for this creature.  He is a unilateral disarmament shill, pure and simple. I’d think otherwise if the target for his protest action was a PVO facility in the FSR, but that might jeopardise his personal comfort and safety. I wonder what these dickheads would do if the US decided peace and charity begins at home and brought its military home.  I wonder what Bryan would think if the heart of Tel Aviv was burnt out by a nuclear device, if Seoul came under sustained chemical bombardment, if the Kurds were confronted with a final solution, if all the little cold wars turned hot.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 05 02 at 11:25 PM • permalink


    1. I’m honestly unsuire, but do tey even have opening addresses to the jury in that particular jurisdiction?

      Posted by McAnzac on 2007 05 03 at 12:19 AM • permalink


    1. They do on Rumpole.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 03 at 12:34 AM • permalink


    1. Bryla are you really that big, or did you swallow mia handshin.

      Posted by Macosghair on 2007 05 03 at 12:39 AM • permalink


    1. …it’s a common stereotype of peace activists as being a few sandwiches short of a picnic when it comes to knowledge and judgement.

      A stereotype that fits you perfectly Bryla.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 03 at 12:52 AM • permalink


    1. “I’ll be updating the blog every few days till the trial, and will give a blow by blow during the trial.”

      Who’s writing this thing – Monica Lewinsky?

      Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2007 05 03 at 01:30 AM • permalink


    1. How can anyone get to 53 years of age and still be so mind numbingly, bog-curdlingly thick?

      Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 05 03 at 01:36 AM • permalink


    1. How about:

      I stand before you.
      Broken hearted,
      Tried to think of a defence,
      But only farted.

      Posted by Nic on 2007 05 03 at 01:50 AM • permalink


    1. Not a lawyer, but I don’t think it’s terribly wise to give your defence to the prosecution before the trial. It’s probably on about the same level as representing yourself in court.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 05 03 at 02:01 AM • permalink


    1. couldn’t get past the first line. it reminded me too much of “My name is Barney Gumble. I’m 43, single and I drink.”

      skipped a bit, came to “studied modern asian studies at Griffith in the late 80’s”…the biggest joke course at the biggest joke university (at the time; sure Griffith has improved greatly since then). why would anyone admit this?

      still, depending on the magistrate, he might walk and get a costs order in his favour. perhaps Ms O’Donoghue could go on circuit?

      Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 05 03 at 02:10 AM • permalink


    1. #78
      Very unwise to admit the offence in the opening. But hey, what would I know.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 03 at 02:11 AM • permalink


    1. Seems a pretty elaborate way of pleading insanity, but then again I’m not insane.*

      *Medication pending

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 03 at 02:13 AM • permalink


    1. #79 perhaps Ms O’Donoghue could go on circuit?

      I think you mean Ms O’Shane SM ?

      And yep she’d chuck it, with costs against the coppers.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 03 at 02:24 AM • permalink


    1. #81- The best tactic would be to turn up clad head to toe in tinfoil, and claim that you and your chums were acting in defence of the planet, and especially Ayers Rock.

      The radomes at Pine Gap are actually giant golfballs, tee’d up for an giant alien interplanetary masters tournament; if one of these enormous green bastards gave one of these titanic titleists a decent drive, the resultant divot would knock Uluru into orbit- a slice would cause the ball to veer into the moon, knocking it into the sun and increasing global warming. (And no more full moons for nudie pagan rituals either).

      A short stint in the looney bin and Bry’d be released into the care of the community, a better prospect to being placed in the care of Bubba in cell 102, where he’s been stocking up on Brylacreem.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 03 at 02:34 AM • permalink


    1. #82 quite so – my mistake.

      Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 05 03 at 02:41 AM • permalink


    1. #75- As long as he doesn’t provide same after his conviction- I’d advise stocking up on Listerine.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 03 at 02:52 AM • permalink


    1. My advice would be to the jury pool: feign illness, impairment, conflict of interest, multiple deaths in the family, anything to not have sit through that opening statement while part of a captive audience who is duty bound to listen to it.

      I wanted to beat my head against the desk by

      spiritual nonviolence and it’s relevance to our lives today

      and I clicked on the link voluntarily.

      Posted by Jodie73 on 2007 05 03 at 02:58 AM • permalink


    1. #77
      Sounded long-winded to me, too.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 03 at 03:15 AM • permalink


    1. On the bright side, he could be a non-violent advocate for better food in prisons …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 03 at 03:17 AM • permalink


    1. Taxi rides when in Cairns will never be the same again for me.

      Posted by Steve at the pub on 2007 05 03 at 03:35 AM • permalink


    1. I am mungbean, hear me roar. . . . . . .

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 05 03 at 03:40 AM • permalink


    1. “I understand clearly that the government wishes to keep information about Pine Gap as secret as it can – from the Australian people. I understand that way back in 1967 Defence Minister Alan Fairhall declared an area around Pine Gap to be a prohibited area under Section 8 of the Defence (Special Undertakings) Act of 1952. I agree that we were warned by Defence Minister Robert Hill in 2005 that our proposed inspection could draw prosecution under that Act and Declaration. I agree that efforts to reason with Minister Hill proved fruitless, and that I and others entered what is said to be the Pine Gap prohibited area, at various times in the early hours of 9 December 2005. I agree that I cut such fences as were necessary to affect entrance into the Pine Gap terror base. I’m glad I did it. I had reasons for doing it. If I must, I’ll do it again.

      Where I disgree with the prosecution is that I believe I had a lawful justification for being there, which constitutes a legal excuse to the charges laid against me.”

      You admitted to the prosecutions case. Your plea of mitigation is not based on legal precedence. The beak is going to throw the book at you, asshat. It’s not possible to have an “excuse” under law, merely a defence that creates reasonable doubt to the veracity of the charges. You’ve gone and admitted guilt, ergo, no defence. If you present this as an opening statement, and plead not guilty, you’ll probably also get done for contempt of court. Bryla is a dickhead beyond contempt.

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 03 at 04:19 AM • permalink


    1. Bryla, if you disagree with anything the prosecution says, just remember to shout ‘objection’. Same goes for the judge.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 05 03 at 04:26 AM • permalink


    1. Hire Jeremy Sear, Bryla

      Posted by armageddon on 2007 05 03 at 05:18 AM • permalink


    1. #92 & #93 both excellent ideas for maximum success.

      Bryla may I suggest you go the whole hog and try and bring down the whole legal system.
      Here’s how to do it.
      When the judge is frothing at the bit annoyed at your audacity and stupidity shout over the top of him and say “DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED??”

      Posted by Hank Reardon on 2007 05 03 at 05:49 AM • permalink


    1. Sear’s got some time free, he might do it pro-bono. Or boning porno. Or boring pinot. Perhaps he could lead the defence with a stirring rendition of Le Mayonnaise, and espouse the virtues of freedom, liberty and cat-boggingblogging.

      What a dream team. Bryla and Wally. The truth will preside!

      Posted by CB on 2007 05 03 at 06:04 AM • permalink


    1. ‘I drive a taxi in Cairns for money.’
      -you make it sound so dirty!

      ‘You already know what’s involved in family life, and how rewarding/challenging it can be.’
      -I hope this is a draft.  Slashes can’t be sounded and are not ornaments to good writing.

      ‘You’ll have heard of Mohandas Gandhi, and of Martin Luther King Jr as giant practitioners of an invigorated form of spiritual nonviolence in the 20th Century.’
      -Mao, Stalin, Pol Pot and Saddam Hussein sprinkled dried-practioner-of-non-violence on their eggs for breakfast. Ghandi and King triumphed because they lived in countries that foster and DEFEND liberal values.

      ‘…you’ll be aware of the loving nonviolent Jesus in the Gospels. Love one another. Love your enemy.’
      -“So he made a whip out of cords and drove all from the Temple, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables. To those who sold doves he said: ‘Get out of here.’” (John 2:13-16)
      -Violence in a just cause? 

      ‘…The Citizen’s Inspection of Pine Gap by Christians Against ALL Terrorism …’
      -‘ALL terrorism’? I smell the embarrassing Bush = Osama trope. Jesus will be remembered as a great practioner of moral discrimination long after the den of moral relativisers have sold their last dove.

      ‘The Biblical authority is Isaiah 2:4 …’
      -I’m all for beating swords into ploughshares, but I don’t think Isaiah is recommending vulnerability as a moral virtue.

      ‘Pine Gap … using it for arms control and not for inflicting terror.’
      -this facility helped to end the Cold War and may now, I hope, be tracking those whose aim is to blow people into giblets.  I would call this reverse acumen.

      ‘… brought under United Nations control.’
      – under, say, Benon Sevan and some peacekeepers from the Congo who are into the rape of war refugees

      ‘Australians demonstrated against the invasion and occupation of Iraq …’
      -and against the liberation of the Kurds, the persecution and slaughter of Shiites and the removal of a regime that brutalised a country so thoroughly for 35 years that it still struggles to come to terms with the practice of non-violence.

      ‘It is in turn part of a wider effective campaign to limit the damage from war in Iraq in the short term, end the war in the middle east in the medium term, and bring about global disarmament along the way.’
      -this simpy piece of totally risk free agitprop does nothing of the kind. I think of our troops doing their damndest to protect Iraqis from jihadist killers and sectarian butchers. That’s how you make the peace.

      Another meaning of ‘trespass’, ‘to commit a transgression or offense.’ Guilty then, on TWO counts.

      Posted by Inurbanus on 2007 05 03 at 08:29 AM • permalink


    1. I couldn’t help myself but to leave some relevant advice.  Please forgive my weakness.  I’m thinking of the poor jury being paid $40/day to put up with a show trial.  Think of the children!

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 03 at 08:34 AM • permalink


    1. Bryla, since you are such a self-important, egotistical, narcissistic pompous asshole, I really want you to read that garbage to the jury. You are beyond hope of ever having a rational thought, so perhaps prison is the best thing for you. Start practicing your deep-knee bends now, you’ll have less back problems 6 months from now.  Idiot. I’m sure your children are proud to be losing their father for years on end, all for being a retard.  While you’re in prison, think about how not having you around is affecting their lives. When you get out, and they no longer hold any familiarity to you, remember that it is entirely your fault.  So, you’re not only screwing yourself, but your children as well. All for nothing. NOBODY gives a rat’s ass what you think, or why you did what you did. You’ve admitted guilt to the charges, you’re going to prison and you are the biggest loser I’ve read about in a long time. Nice going dad.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 05 03 at 09:07 AM • permalink


    1. The way I see it, it’s very straightforward.

      He’s not denying that he entered Pine Gap. He’s simply denying that he’s an absolute idiot.

      When you’re warned not to go into a facility because you’ll be arrested if you do, and you proceed anyway, then you can pretty much bank on jail time.

      Also, can’t everything he’s said since be used as evidence against him? It’s not like he’s squealing with denials.

      By the way #98 Texas Bob, excellent.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 03 at 09:56 AM • permalink


    1. For his family’s sake, I hope that he gets a lawyer and the fact that he is a father is mitigating.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 03 at 10:50 AM • permalink


    1. For his family’s sake I hope they get a better male adult role model.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 05 03 at 10:59 AM • permalink


    1. #95: Sear’s got some time free, he might do it pro-bono.

      He’d probably manage to get the charge changed to manslaughter.

      By the way, I was browsing through Bryan’s Boast or speech or whatever it’s supposed to be, and came across this: “In the USA we’ve seen the Boston Tea Party, the Civil Rights movement, and the US Peace Movement itself – which has now, after five years’ determined effort, organised a change in both houses of their parliament.

      Whoa! When did that happen? I see that, er, the Commons was unable to overide the President’s veto; not sure what Sir Harry Reid and the House of Lords is going to come up with: they’re probably too busy preparing to knight Bishop Sharpton to worry about Iraq. And then there’s the drawing and quartering of Don Imus to attend to. And the festering “Irish Question” (i.e., are any of the Kennedys ever going to get an honest job in the private sector?).

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 03 at 11:22 AM • permalink


    1. #101
      kae & pogria on dads

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 03 at 11:55 AM • permalink


    1. He’s lucky.

      A couple of High School kids here just decided that they could ignore a bunch of warning signs.  Words like: Stop, No Trespassing, Steep Slope.  They had a SUV.

      SUVs don’t fly.  The hundred foot drop didn’t kill them, but the sudden stop at the bottom of the quarry did.

      This moron will live long enough to have the opportunity learn from his mistake.

      Posted by MarkD on 2007 05 03 at 01:48 PM • permalink


    1. It occurs to me that Bryla must cultivate his Jesus Look™ while giving his opening address.  I suggest wearing robes and sandals, and maybe offering to change their drinking water into wine.

      That’ll work, yeah!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 03 at 03:16 PM • permalink


    1. egg_: well, that’s true, Bryla will provide his kiddies with plenty of entertaining stories to tell their therapists.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 05 03 at 06:27 PM • permalink


    1. good work over there peter m

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 03 at 08:15 PM • permalink


    1. In this world, my friends, I have found there is only one law worth following.

      One law – and this is what I call the Bryan Law!

      Under Bryan Law I find you guilty of being an imperialist lap dog and of humping the leg of your master, Uncle Sam.

      By the way, where did you get the wig? Probably made by Cambodian slave labour from the bristles of fetid pigs. Sure smells like it to me!

      Justice? Hah!

      I sentence you to eternal ignorance, Justice Lap Dog.

      Security, take away this pink-cheeked pretender in the Marilyn wig and the black nightie.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 03 at 08:31 PM • permalink


    1. Here’s a couple of cuties put up by one of Bwyan’s supporters as an example to follow- a pair of superannuated serial pests who not only siphon a poultice of welfare for themselves and their halfwitted descendants, but cost a bucketload for extra security and judicial process, all so they can get they hideous crone mugs in the press. I really can’t wait until the last of these ‘60s era hippy deadshits finally becomes the compost they should yearn to be; let’s hold off on stemcell breaktroughs for a little bit until all these mungbean-munching, bong bubbling, rent-seeking, patchouli reeking, walking egos finally pop their Birkenstocks.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 03 at 09:11 PM • permalink


    1. Guess who he’ll be calling on for an expert witness?

      My friend and colleague Donna Mulhearn will provide you with
      eye-witness testimony, as she provided eye-witness testimony to me in
      2005, about the impacts and effects of this war on Iraqi
      civilians. Donna was in Baghdad in March 2003, and Falujah in April
      2004. She is an eye-witness to US war crimes in Iraq.

      Classy circles these people move in.

      Posted by scooper on 2007 05 04 at 01:24 AM • permalink


    1. Christians Against ALL Terrorism = CAAT = Combined Anti-Armor Team.


      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 04 at 02:13 AM • permalink


    1. I’m thinking about starting an organization along the lines of Christains Against All Enemy Sympathizers and Traitors.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 04 at 02:17 AM • permalink


    1. #98, Succinctly put, Texas Bob.

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 05 04 at 03:40 AM • permalink


    1. Withya, Grimmy.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 04 at 04:54 AM • permalink


    1. #106
      I know where you’re coming from, but you can’t chose your parents and you could do worse …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 04 at 08:49 AM • permalink


    1. We have been impugned.

      Finally, don’t let the likes of Tim Blair and his sad accolytes get you down. I know these people all too well, having run a number of antiwar blogs under the pseudonym “gandhi” for the past four years. Some of them are paid propgandists (see, the rest are just gullible people with low IQs and shallow lives, searching for meaning and a sense of belonging in all the wrong places. For example, the highlight of one of your critics’ day was going to the supermarket with his fly undone. The same bloke seems to think that trespassing is act act of violence. Seriously! (see

      I’ll post a link to your case on my blog at, and see if I can drum up some more support for you.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 04 at 09:35 AM • permalink


    1. And this was my response. Please indicate whether I defended the side. Be Brutal. Please, be brutal.
      “gullible people with low IQs and shallow lives”

      For the record, denizens of that site have shallow IQs and and are low lifes. I should know; I’m one of them. And who says that one place is wrong and another is right? Sounds like discrimination to me. Or are you a Blairaphobe??

      Second, Breaking and entering, as it’s known in the United States, is different from simple trespass. The first implies that force was used to gain entry. Is this the case here? If so, it wasn’t all waving signs and painting peace symbols on the eeeevil defense installations.
      Third, The US doesn’t have a Parliment, and doesn’t have a king. It sounds like a case of projection here. You have the Crown and Parliement, not us.
      Fourth. I do hope that you will be magnanimous and tell the jury that, should all of your demands be met, and all installations and service personnel are forcbly placed under UN control, your acts of violent “nonviolence” may cease. Make sure that you say this.

      Sincerely, Blue Hen

      Tim Blair acolyte

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 04 at 09:40 AM • permalink


    1. #114 that’s fabbo, martmeister

      Posted by KK on 2007 05 04 at 09:58 AM • permalink


    1. #116: Some of them are paid propagandists

      What?!? Some of you guys are getting paid for this?

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 04 at 10:03 AM • permalink


    1. In re: my own #119: Good thing I’ve got a low IQ; otherwise, it might bother me that I’m still maintaining my amateur status.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 04 at 10:04 AM • permalink


    1. I’m upset too Paco. I thought that getting a cheap buzz from the incense (being an acolyte and all) was payment enough.

      It seems that others here are held in somewhat higher esteem in the eyes of our Dark Lord and his trained drop bear Tim.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 04 at 10:52 AM • permalink


    1. #121 Blue Hen: I just know that Wronwright is getting paid big propaganda bucks. Sure, sure, he’s a very successful tax attorney, but have you ever seen his office? Picture the private palace of one of the more grasping Borgia popes, except on a somewhat larger scale. That ain’t all legal fees, buddy!

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 04 at 11:16 AM • permalink


    1. There just has to be a joke in there when you mention ‘successful tax attorney’.

      Definition of a successful tax atorney: one who stands upon his convictions, so as to hide them and dwell instead upon his acquittals.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 04 at 11:57 AM • permalink


    1. #122, Paco my dear, I get a very disturbing image when you mention ‘successful tax attorney’. In fact, it looks just like my ATO teacher… The one who’s supposed to teach me to do good.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 04 at 01:50 PM • permalink


    1. “Successful tax attorney”: tort lawyer without the scruples?


      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 05 04 at 02:02 PM • permalink


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