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Last updated on June 6th, 2017 at 02:23 am

Peter FitzSimons’ Sunday Sun-Herald column isn’t online, so I’ve been forced to type the following myself. It’s an experience similar to retracing the footprints of a particularly clumsy hiker. Who is also perhaps blind. And who suffers Bell’s Palsy:

Readers misheard me last week when I noted that perhaps some of those hundreds of thousands of us who marched against the Iraq War could help kick in a little to help pay the massive fine for those blokes who painted “No War” on the Opera House – supporting their message, though definitely not their method. Those readers who misheard, thought that I said “I am a big galoot with a brain the size of a pea, and I deserve nothing more than your vitriolic abuse by all methods imaginable, so please fire at will.”

And they did, which was fair enough. I could only wish, however, that those readers’ legitimate concern for our own law and property, was reflected by just one-hundredth of their concern for the breach of international law which was the invasion of Iraq in the first place, and the subsequent massive destruction wrought upon so many of their buildings, factories, railway lines together with an estimated 100,000 civilian deaths.

FitzSimons is famously sensitive to criticism, which may be why his non-sport columns aren’t linkable. Just as well we’ve got substantial archives. And paint, to cover Fitzy’s house with charming peace messages.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/19/2005 at 10:47 PM
    1. Tim, get a scanner with OCR. There are some real bargains around at the moment.

      Posted by simonX on 2005 01 20 at 12:03 AM • permalink


    1. Still trying to figure out why a football player is being paid for political comment.

      In my next life I want to be born with no neck and one eyebrow.

      Posted by rog on 2005 01 20 at 12:25 AM • permalink


    1. subsequent massive destruction wrought upon so many of their buildings, factories, railway lines

      Railway lines?

      You bastards!

      Posted by Pixy Misa on 2005 01 20 at 12:56 AM • permalink


    1. Aww, c’mon, Tim. Clearly he’s counting those who died of natural causes, too.

      That was a rare form of death under Saddam, and it’s reappearance is clearly a cruel coalition tactic to introduce “real life” back into Iraq.

      Posted by William Young on 2005 01 20 at 01:45 AM • permalink


    1. Being British I don’t know who all these journos are, but isn’t Peter Fitzsimmons that rugger bugger who keeps dissing League?  I think I e-mailed him over some of the bollocks he wrote last year.

      Posted by Craig on 2005 01 20 at 02:11 AM • permalink


    1. Craig,
      We need more people like you over here. Please emigrate.

      Posted by Tomka on 2005 01 20 at 06:27 AM • permalink


    1. The trouble for Fitzy is that they never misheard.

      Posted by Major Anya on 2005 01 20 at 07:13 AM • permalink


    1. Isn’t this talent free galoot married to another Fairfax journo, giving him the leg over the obituary pages where he belongs ?

      Posted by JAFA on 2005 01 20 at 07:51 AM • permalink


    1. Fitz can get under my skin like no other Fairfax columnist. I actually warm to Margo and Adel when reading one of his columns. Perhaps it’s his half-arsed attempts at humour, or that his fusion of league hating rugger buggery and post-modern leftism perfectly appeals to the prejudices of the SMH target demographic.

      Posted by Adam B on 2005 01 20 at 08:08 AM • permalink


    1. Do the folks at the Herald have email addresses?


      Posted by MarkL on 2005 01 20 at 08:15 AM • permalink


    1. Why is a former rugby player qualified to write on geo-political issues?

      It’d be like reading a Gorden Tallis column on the Middle East peace process.

      Posted by Quentin George on 2005 01 20 at 08:19 AM • permalink


    1. I know Australia isn’t as large as the US, population-wise, but it seems to have as many moonbat “reporters” as we do. You import them, right?

      Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2005 01 20 at 08:20 AM • permalink


    1. MarkL
      His e-mail address is   I checked my sent e-mail and that’s what I sent to last year.
      It’s not surprising that he believes 100,000 were killed.  He said in one of his sport columns that 3 billion people would watch the Rugby World Cup.  British League fans were encouraged to drop him a line by a magazine here when he came out with some of his shite.  Now I’ll be able to send him some views on his crap politics as well.

      Posted by Craig on 2005 01 20 at 08:46 AM • permalink


    1. What he really said was
      I am a pig to boot, with a brain the size of a flea, and I deserve nothing. What’s more, thanks for your vitriolic abuse by all methods imaginable, and please throw more swill.”

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 01 20 at 09:26 AM • permalink


    1. This guy is a nauseatingly pretentious BUFFOON! He and his pathetic fraud of a wife run around spouting these virtuous left-wing views about the poor and greed and wealth, while they themselves, are richer than Croesus! They could afford to pay for the repair of the Opera House just from the sale of the gaudy Chandalier in their decadent bathroom!
      Like many of these self-righteous left-wing hypocrites, if they actually got the Marxist revolution they champion, they would be among the first to have their head on a pike!

      Posted by Brian on 2005 01 20 at 10:51 AM • permalink


    1. people shouldn’t get sucked in by fitzy, he uses the same ol’ anti rleague schtick to draw attention to himself and become famous……..and it works!!!

      he uses the tried and tested formula of every talentless journo……..write something controversial just to get people talking about you.

      and whada you know, his name pops up on internet forums all over the world!!! and he’s laughing all the way to the bank.

      ps: i think his wife has collagen lips.

      Posted by vinnyboombutts on 2005 01 20 at 11:22 AM • permalink


      Michael Moore’s tried and true formula, now imitated by every mercenary, egocentric Lefty, willing to ruthlessly exploit any issue for personal gain!

      Posted by Brian on 2005 01 20 at 11:39 AM • permalink


    1. He may have been a third-rate second-rower (who had to play for Franve to get a game) but he’s certainly a first class deadshit- as to his skills as a journalist, I’d rate him Margo minus.

      Posted by Habib on 2005 01 20 at 12:56 PM • permalink


    1. Adrian- he’s married to Herald harridan Lisa Wilkinson, a regular on “Beauty and the Beast” and unreconstructed commie fuckhead of the first order- she’s so dumb that she make Stan Zemarnek appear intelligent. Puishment enough, you might say for the fatiosness of Fitzsimons? Not by a long straw- that bastard deserves to have to reside with Margo Kingston.

      Posted by Habib on 2005 01 20 at 01:08 PM • permalink


    1. If you have time to waste read one of the biographies written by this clown.To say that he reveals the intellectual depth of a sheet of Glad Wrap would be to overstate his ability.Still from a left wing point of view I suppose this rubbish could be defended by claiming that he was just doing the socially sharing thing and leaving the way open for a competent author to do a worthwhile job on those same subjects in the future.By the way,ever noticed the strong facial resemblance between him and Uday Hussein?

      Posted by Lew on 2005 01 20 at 03:20 PM • permalink


    1. I could only wish, however, that those readers’ legitimate concern for our own law and property, was reflected by just one-hundredth of their concern for the breach of international law …

      I think know what he’s trying to say, but does this fucked-up sentence fragment not actually mean that people should be more concerned about the writing on the Sydney Opera House than the “illegal” (!?!?) liberation of Iraq?  Which judging in context is totally opposite of the thought that Cro-Magnon is trying to express.

      I dunno, I could be wrong, but that seems to be some seriously imprecise writing for someone getting paid for their brilliant musings.

      Posted by Crispytoast on 2005 01 20 at 04:15 PM • permalink


    1. What breach of international law does he mean?  Does he refer to the Kellogg-Briand Pact, perhaps?

      I wish these leftoids, when chastising us for our disregard of law, would identify the actual law we are disregarding.  Otherwise, we (the US, I mean) just keep stuffing the citations into the glovebox of our SUV.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 01 20 at 05:02 PM • permalink


  1. isn’t Lisa Wilkinson ex ABC ?

    Posted by crash on 2005 01 21 at 12:37 AM • permalink