Elders to fix world, nap

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Last updated on August 4th, 2017 at 01:19 pm

All our problems are to be solved:

Nelson Mandela celebrates his 89th birthday tomorrow in Johannesburg, launching a humanitarian campaign along with former President Jimmy Carter, ex-UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan and other “elders” of the global village. The initiative stems from an idea by British entrepreneur Richard Branson and musician Peter Gabriel to create a world council of elders to tackle issues such as conflict, AIDS and global warming.

Hold on, oldsters. You might want to start with projects of a slightly less ambitious scale. For example, a neatly-restored VW Beetle in my street has small rust pockets forming on the driver’s side door. Let’s see the Superfriends do something about it.

Posted by Tim B. on 07/17/2007 at 08:34 PM
    1. I would have though Kofi would be looking forward to sitting around and doing nothing much in retirement.

      Pretty much like his last day job.

      Posted by Hump B Bare on 2007 07 17 at 08:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Good lord! Are you saying that the future of the world is in the hands of . . . The Ex-Lax-Men?

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 17 at 08:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. They have prune juice and they’re prepared to use it.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 17 at 08:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. “World Council of Elders”?

      Think it’s been taken.

      Do like the “time of transformation long prophesied by the wisdom-keepers or Elders of the world’s indigenous peoples” thing, though.  Kinda reminds me of a combination of Hans Christian Anderson, Star Wars and Tolkien.

      Posted by fresca on 2007 07 17 at 08:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. The humanitarian program needed (“what the world needs now” etc …) is tough love, tough love. In the form of regime change, followed by proper administration of all the cot cases which are making their citizens incredibly miserable.
      They might as well ask Mugabe to join the team.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 07 17 at 08:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Right, John Howard is to old and out of touch but COFFEE and Co are on the ball…..Can’t wait for another DEEPLY CONCERNED letter.

      Posted by sparrow on 2007 07 17 at 08:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Go Go Power Crazed Rangers!

      Posted by Rob Read on 2007 07 17 at 08:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Never trust anyone over 30”

      Christ, young people are complaining that baby-boomers are too old to be allowed to share the world’s air—fat lot of notice they’re going to take of this group of pensioned-off, self-opinionated geriatrics!

      Posted by BIWOZ on 2007 07 17 at 08:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Meeting adjourned. Matlock is on.”

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 17 at 08:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jeeze. Some stuff you just can’t make up (nor want to). This ~initiative~ qualifies.

      The U.N.‘s already established itself as child-porn central. Whaddya want to bet the dessert menu after their little get-togethers includes little blue pills?

      Posted by MissM on 2007 07 17 at 08:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. all I can say is.. God help us all
      the likes of them got us into this mess

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 08:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. i am now working a song for this

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 08:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, c’mon Peter Gabriel gives it gravitas.

      Posted by fresca on 2007 07 17 at 08:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well of course. When the Baby Boomers were young, they were all about Youth Taking Over and dumping the rigid and ossified rule of old, dusty white men (who started all the wars, man, and sent the young out to die! Bummer!). Now that the Boomers are oldsters themselves, suddenly what the world needs now is for wise old men (and women! and transgenders!) to tell everyone what to do.

      No one escapes the human comedy.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 17 at 08:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. A bunch of old farts writing stern letters of condemnation to tyrants.  Gee that’ll work.

      Posted by bondo on 2007 07 17 at 09:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. my feeble attempt
      When old and you’re weary, and feeling insignificant
      When tears are in your eyes, you probably have cataracts
      I’m on your side. When times get rough
      And friends just can’t be found
      because they are killing each other,
      I will try to relive my youth
      and create a barrier over troubled water
      just to feed my ego.

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 09:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11 missred

      Yep they certainly did. They seem to know nothing of slinking away after creating a mess. Instead they appear before us as wise men, bearing answers.

      Piss off. You hopeless jokes.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 07 17 at 09:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. I have a dream. That one day, all of us will have a right to an afternoon nap.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 17 at 09:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. margos *laughing* i doubt you catch any of us so off guard!

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Plenty of people complain about the world council of Jews that apparently already controls the world. Perhaps there’ll be fight to the finish between the rival world councils.

      The new council could publish their manifesto.  I suggest calling it The Protocols of the Elders of the World.

      Posted by walterplinge on 2007 07 17 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Bondo,

      Since when have any of them condemned tyrants.  All of them, especially Kofi and Mr Cartier, bow down in any tyrants presence.  Bush, they would condemn (but not for the right reasons).

      Posted by AnnNY on 2007 07 17 at 09:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #4

      wisdom-keepers or Elders of the world’s indigenous peoples

      sorta ties in with the “Noble Savage” thing.

      Posted by kae on 2007 07 17 at 09:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. savage being the key word

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 09:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. All of them, especially Kofi and Mr Cartier, bow down in any tyrants presence.

      I would say they bend over for tyrants more than they bow down for them.

      Posted by bondo on 2007 07 17 at 09:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Great. Another one-world shadow government. What’s this one called, the Triple By-Pass Commission?

      Seriously, though, I’m willing to give these guys a chance. Lock ‘em in a room with a supply of Metamucil, Depends and prune juice and I bet they solve the world’s problem’s in no time. Hell, just locking Carter and Kofi Annan in a room solves two problems right there.

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 17 at 09:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. So let me get this straight, these guys think that they can now fix all the problems that they failed to deal with when they were actually in office? Yeah right.

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 07 17 at 09:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. and the smell would drive them crazy

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 09:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. oops they already are

      Posted by missred on 2007 07 17 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. What about Mal Fraser? *sob*
      He’s old and senile too, why can’t he be on the Council of (snigger) Elders?

      And what about Bob Mugabe, surely. . . . . . .

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 07 17 at 09:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. What are we going to do tonight, Brain?

      Posted by fresca on 2007 07 17 at 09:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Are we talking World Council of Elders whose ideas may or may not reflect their combined and accumulated wisdom but otherwise must compete for acceptance in a free market of ideas?
      Or World Council of Elders in that they banish anyone who argues and they get to root all the fourteen year old girls they want.
      The latter is the only model with a historical predecent.

      Posted by ooh honey honey on 2007 07 17 at 09:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yep, that’s just what we need. A bunch of bitter and twisted, cynical old bastards like St Gough and Malcolm (I never had an opinion when I was PM) Fraser sitting around giving us the benefit of their combined wisdom. Then there is that old biddy Germaine Greer… she seems to have an opinion on just about everything, usually invloving pre-pubescent boys.

      I’ve always considered age and wisdom to be seperate attributes that don’t necessarily happen together. But then again, if Peter Gabriel reckons it’s a good idea then who are we to mock?

      Posted by Gibbo on 2007 07 17 at 09:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #29: And what about Bob Mugabe, surely.

      Sure, lock him in the same room with Jimmy and Kofi. A rubber donut will be provided.

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 17 at 09:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. On and on and on bangs the blogfortz about climate change. Such a well-thought out and principled stance. So trendy, so “now”. Have you worked out your exit strategy yet? or will you simply abandon this issue when your position becomes utterly untenable, just like you have with the war.

      Posted by Miranda Divide on 2007 07 17 at 09:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kofi Anaan, pouring oil on the world’s troubled waters… now if we could only figure out where he got it…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 17 at 09:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Nelson Mandela celebrates his 89th birthday…”

      I’ll make him a cake with 89 burning tire “necklaces” on it.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 17 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #26

      I don’t see Keating’s name there. He’s got all the answers now…

      Posted by kae on 2007 07 17 at 09:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Bloody seagulls.

      Posted by kae on 2007 07 17 at 09:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Miranda appears to be even more confused than usual. At least incoherence is more interesting than the sheer blandness it’s been outputting the last few times it partially shook off its Level 10 Stupor long enough to post.

      Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 07 17 at 09:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well of course. When the Baby Boomers were young, they were all about Youth Taking Over and dumping the rigid and ossified rule of old, dusty white men (who started all the wars, man, and sent the young out to die! Bummer!). Now that the Boomers are oldsters themselves, suddenly what the world needs now is for wise old men (and women! and transgenders!) to tell everyone what to do.

      And when they were young, they were anti-authority dope-smoking free-sexing rebels. Now that they’re in charge, they’re suspending 10-year-olds for carrying Tylenol and kissing on the monkey bars.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 07 17 at 09:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. Say what you will about Miranda, but unlike a lot of other trolls at least he can link.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 17 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Along with #20: I thought there were Elders already running the world.

      So now there aren’t?

      Good to know.

      Wait, wait, wait…Elders? As in Elder Smith and Elder Jones? They want the world run by 19- and 20-year-old Latter-day Saint missionaries?

      Posted by Muslihoon on 2007 07 17 at 10:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is the best laugh I’ve had all day. Seriously.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 07 17 at 10:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. Poor Miranda. A brain stem is a terrible thing to waste.

      Paco’s Patented Incoherentometer indicates that he/she is generating about 106 tku’s (Ted Kennedy Units). This is equivalent to the incoherence output of the typical commenter at Muslim Village (peace on it).

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 17 at 10:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. World Council of Elders

      Yeah, and all of us kids better get off their lawn or their gonna use the water hose.

      Don’t these guys have better things to do like having their prostates checked?

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 07 17 at 10:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. These best contribution these billious old fogeys can make to the world’s poor, hunger and disposessed can be summed up in two words:

      Soylent Green.

      Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 07 17 at 10:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. “That’s right, blogfuhrer, keep mocking the elderly Chilean Sea Bass while they try to undo the damage you and your blogsheep have done to the global warming fargle jipjip barummmmmmmmm…”

      -Miranda Divide-

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 07 17 at 10:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dang, Walterplinge beat me to it #20, only I was going to call it the Protocols of the World Council of Elders.  Sure to be a NYT best seller.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 07 17 at 10:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Miranda, honey, we did the Chilean sea bass thing already.  Try and keep up, dear.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 07 17 at 10:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. #47: Bwahahahahaha!! Great take, Dave. The only thing missing is the sound of Miranda pounding her head against the wall.

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 17 at 10:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Onya randy.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 17 at 10:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Leave Miranda alone. The second week of school holidays is a traumatic time for many “special” children. Their whole structure is ruined and the basement is oh so cold and damp.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 17 at 10:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Silly Old Farts Club in charge of the world? Where’s Gough?

      Posted by watty on 2007 07 17 at 11:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Great take, Dave. The only thing missing is the sound of Miranda pounding her head against the wall.

      While wearing a hockey helmet, right?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 07 17 at 11:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. And who’s gonna pay for this “council”?

      Umm-hmmm…

      Posted by mojo on 2007 07 17 at 11:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. “I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time…”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 07 17 at 11:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Great. A bunch of losers who stuffed up everything they touched when the were young(er) are suddenly endowed with miraculous world saving power because…er, their hair is now a shade greyer.

      Posted by BB77 on 2007 07 17 at 11:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. #56, Dave S.,

      was that in the year 19dickety-three?

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 07 17 at 11:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. It has been said that arguing against globalization is like arguing against the laws of gravity.
      Kofi Annan

      Many African leaders refuse to send their troops on peace keeping missions abroad because they probably need their armies to intimidate their own populations.
      Kofi Annan

      The Lord had the wonderful advantage of being able to work alone.
      Kofi Annan

      but then these:

      In their greatest hour of need, the world failed the people of Rwanda.
      Kofi Annan

      ps it was the UN who failed – don’t say “we”.

      Iraq has a new opportunity to comply with all these relevant resolutions of the Security Council.
      Kofi Annan

      Yes, another “new one”.

      Globalization is a fact of life. But I believe we have underestimated its fragility.
      Kofi Annan

      As fragile as your grave concern.

      More than ever before in human history, we share a common destiny. We can master it only if we face it together. And that, my friends, is why we have the United Nations.
      Kofi Annan

      Yes, it was a good idea.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 07 17 at 11:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Too bad Brezhnev, Mao and Idi Amin Dada won’t be on the team.

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 07 17 at 11:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. I for one welcome our new geriatric overlords.

      Posted by anonymous guest on 2007 07 18 at 12:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. This “World Council of Elders” sounds like another name for “a circle jerk by old farts”.

      While wearing a hockey helmet, right?

      Why?  What’s there to protect?

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 18 at 12:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. I for one welcome our new geriatric overlords.

      I’d like to remind them that as a trusted blog commenter, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground Metamucil caves.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 07 18 at 12:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. elders shmelders. True wisdom rests with the ancient ones

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 07 18 at 12:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. goddammit. Try again.

      ancient ones

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 07 18 at 12:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Fine article by Jim Schembri. Soon to be unemployed.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 01:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. And I propose a Council of Toddlers. At least they’ll be growing out of their nappies.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 01:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #66 if only cheap sex could be linked somehow to global warming. ‘You must sleep with me. Think of the planet. This can’t wait,’ etc.

      then I’d be a believer

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 07 18 at 01:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68 – For quite a while my “joke” pick up line was: “They’ll never solve global warming with you around! You’re too hot!” I wouldn’t say it troubled the scorers too many times, but it produced less slaps than “wanna root?”

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 01:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68 You live in Byron Bay and need a handle to get cheap sex? Jonathan…

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 01:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. I suggest they pick a council of elders from this site.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 07 18 at 01:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Logan’s Run.
      Give the useless old farts a ride on the Carousel.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 18 at 01:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. You do that, Grimmy. I’ll just be talking to Jenny Agutter over here.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 01:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. As in, over here.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 01:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. #73, Dminor:
      This Jenny Agutter?

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 18 at 01:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. What am I, on the UN?

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 01:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. I am a little worried where this is going…

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 01:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. You’re off the hook, Dminor. Grimmy, however has some serious apologising to do.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 02:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wonder how long it’ll take the rest of our male commenters to get back from Jenny-surfing?

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 07 18 at 02:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. Further to my link at #71, I think that the People Advertising Critters Online have a fabulous business opportunity in front of them.  I am planning on putting together a site that will rival Google for traffic.

      adultgoatfinder.com

      Investors should form an orderly queue.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 07 18 at 02:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #78, Infidel Tiger:

      Hey now, I just posted up the first pic the google deeveel took me to.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 18 at 02:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #81 – All is forgiven. It caused me to further my research into the adult Jenny Agutter.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 02:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. #82, Infidel:

      hehehe Excellent.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 18 at 02:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. to tackle issues such as conflict

      Yep, that’s a solvable issue.
      “Conflict.”
      They’ve created a committee to solve “conflict.”
      Come on, you all have to agree. There is waaaaayyyy too much conflict in the world.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 07 18 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Just in: some of the first resolutions from the World Council of Elders:

      * Young people on public transport must turn down their iPods. Do you think we all want to hear that tosh?

      * Shops and telcos are no longer to change their names, and usage of old names shall remain acceptable, thus “Hey Ethel, have you paid the Telecom bill, because I need to duck down to Grace Brothers”.

      * No more phone calls during dinner time.

      * Tamper proof things are to be banned because you can’t fucking open them and;

      * No more new technology. Do we really need any more gizmos?

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 18 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. IT:

      Is it time, yet, to officially redirect this thread to a discussion on hotties?

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 07 18 at 02:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. #70

      not for me, of course. For my two sons. I will pass on the line at #69 too. Very propitious number you chose there, IT

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 07 18 at 02:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #86 – Why yes it is.

      And in accordance with the Protocol of the Elders, here is my first submission.

      Great set of gams!!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 02:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Always the goddamn way. I meant this honey.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 02:33 AM • permalink

 

 

    1. I for one welcome our new geriatric overlords.

      Yeah, me t……… hang about … did you say overlord?

      Ooops, my bad, I thought you meant these.

      I could work with one of them, but not the first lot ….

      Posted by BIWOZ on 2007 07 18 at 02:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #90 IT

      Many a good tune has been played on an old fiddle, IT, and:

      They don’t yell;
      They don’t tell;
      They don’t swell; and
      They’re as gratefull as hell.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 07 18 at 02:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. I want a proper council of Old Ones – Chairman Cthulhu, Tsathoggua, Hziulquoigmnzhah and Zvilpogghua. Why settle for inferior evil when we can have the best.

      Posted by Simon Darkshade on 2007 07 18 at 02:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Fidel Castro should put his walking stick up for a seat(or commode)on the Council Incontinentia.

      i for one would support him………..im tired of seeing him moonlighting as Homers dad in the Simpsons for a few measley gringo dollars.

      Posted by bailador on 2007 07 18 at 02:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. #92 – And they’ve got more tricks than a secondhand outboard.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 02:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thissun’s my nomination for Australia’s representative.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 18 at 02:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. There’s life in this old dog.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 18 at 03:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. Perhaps they could get fellow oldster Daffy Gadaffi to release the Bulgarian hostages, now that the world is paying a ransom. Anyone noticed Amnesty Unintentional doing anything about this? Too busy criticising countries like Australia for human rights failures.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 07 18 at 03:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. #96

      excellent choice, Margo, the left will be spinning like Whirling Dervishes at the thought of having a SHEIK on the inside, even if he is only from Scrubby Creek..

      the ululating will have a country twang even.

      Posted by bailador on 2007 07 18 at 03:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. #96 MM

      The Sheik of Scrubby Creek would be wasted on these drongoes

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 07 18 at 03:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. So Kofi and Co. will have influence without any responsibility? Yeah… that’s a recipe for success…

      Posted by blandwagon on 2007 07 18 at 03:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. They didn’t seem to have to much of a handle on those problems when they were in power, what can we expect of them now they are the the League of Ex/Formers (not to be confused with Transformers)?

      Posted by Marbles on 2007 07 18 at 03:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. #101

      So Kofi and Co. will have influence without any responsibility?

      it will be no different from his job as UN secretary general

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 07 18 at 03:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T
      Bunfight up here about terrorist gold coast doctor.
      The MSM would do us all a favour by burning Keyser ‘tard’s phone number.
      He talks crap and is very annoying when he talks.
      Leaked first intervew with Australian Federal Police. The Barrister done it.

      Posted by kae on 2007 07 18 at 03:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. Jiang Zemin is in the house…

      Posted by monaro on 2007 07 18 at 03:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. when’s the merchandise coming out??

      Posted by vinny on 2007 07 18 at 04:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wangari Maathai and Betty Williams are in the house…

      Posted by monaro on 2007 07 18 at 04:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. Imran Khan is in the house…

      Posted by monaro on 2007 07 18 at 04:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. Geoff Clark and Ray Robinson are in the house…

      Posted by monaro on 2007 07 18 at 04:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. <strike>New</strike> Old World Order

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 18 at 05:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. Resolution of the Council of Elders 149(b)

      (i) Before turning their attention to climate change, the Council of Elders urges scientists to find a better mechanism for holding up track-pants than some stupid draw-string that you either can’t undo, or lose altogether.

      (ii) The Council of Elders draws the attention of the world’s economists to the price of crumbed meats made available by butcher shops and supermarkets. Are those crumbs made of fucking gold-dust, or what?

      (iii) The Council of Elders draws the attention of clothing specialists to the ridiculous new high-waisted fashions.  We didn’t fight no Boer War to see 21st century crumpet covering up their poontang.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 18 at 05:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Youtube: Elderly Operations Centre – The Late Show (Oz ABC)

      Looks like the ABV2 master control room.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 18 at 05:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #111
      iii

      Kevni vows to keep price watch on crumbed cutlets, if elected …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 07 18 at 05:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. Now we know why they’ve been saving this fossil.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 18 at 08:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. The previous was an attempt at humor by providing an image of Lenin’s body. Carry on.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 18 at 08:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Despite the communist ideals of his youth, it’s impossible not to like Nelson Mandela. He’s an amazing man who united a nation and shaped 20th century history for the better.
      But let the bastard alone! He’s achieved enough in his lifetime already.
      Can’t he just retire in glory, without having to join this foolish committee and make vacuous declarations about world peace?

      Posted by daddy dave on 2007 07 18 at 09:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Greatest Resolution of the Council of Elders:

      You kids get the hell off my lawn!

      Posted by ErnieG on 2007 07 18 at 09:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. The most useful nap those three detriments to society could take would be a dirt nap.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 07 18 at 09:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. Plato’s Republic – philospher kings.

      Fortunately wuith track records like Jimmy’s and Koffi’s, nothing will happen.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 18 at 12:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #4 Hey I’m an indigenous person of the world, or did I invade from MArs?

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 18 at 12:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Bondo, you know the only condemnations they’ll have is for the US and Western coutnries. The dictators, tyrants and despots get a free pass.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 07 18 at 12:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Despite the communist ideals of his youth, it’s impossible not to like Nelson Mandela.”

      I assure you that it is totally possible not to like Nelson Mandela.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 18 at 01:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #116 & #122: In any event, I think we can all agree that it’s very possible – and perhaps mandatory – not to like Winnie Mandela.

      Posted by paco on 2007 07 18 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just a little reminder about what one of these wannabe tribal elders did…

      “…Underground or in exile, the ANC leadership concluded that the methods of non-violence such as those utilised by Gandhi against the British Empire during their colonisation of India, were not suitable against the apartheid system. It was decided that terrorist tactics had to be used, which primarily involved targeting and sabotaging the government’s resources, with an initial wish to minimise the bloodshed of civilians.”

      “There were occasions the ANC targeted civilians with bomb explosions in restaurants, shopping centres and entertainment complexes. Examples of these include the Amanzimtoti bombing[2], the Sterland bomb in Pretoria[3], the Wimpy bomb in Pretoria[4], the Juicy Lucy bomb in Pretoria[3] and the Magoo’s bar bombing in Durban.[5] The few ANC acts of sabotage aimed at government institutions include the bombing of the Johannesburg Magistrates Court, The attack on the Koeberg nuclear reactor and the rocket attack on Voortrekkerhoogte in Pretoria. The Church Street bomb in Pretoria was claimed to be an attack on the South African Air Force but in reality the bomb was placed in front of civilian buildings during rush hour and most of those injured and killed were civilians. Other attacks on civilians included the systematic murder of hundreds of people in Black townships who refused to take part in consumer boycotts or strikes and who were regarded as sell-outs. The preferred method of murder was to put a burning tyre around the neck of the unfortunate victim.”

      “A military wing was formed in 1961, called Umkhonto we Sizwe (MK), meaning “Spear of the Nation”. However, Mandela, as its first leader, was arrested for terrorism in 1962 and sentenced to life imprisonment in 1964 on Robben Island, along with Sisulu and other ANC leaders after the Rivonia Trial.”

      ANC hijinx

      Mandela and his pals in the ANC were and are the scum of the earth.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 18 at 01:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Carter, Mandela, and Annan…not only does that sing passably to the tune of “Winken, Blinken and Nod,” but if they could just rope in one more geriatric ex-politico they could be the Four Old Men of the Apocalypse.

      Posted by dub kitty on 2007 07 18 at 03:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. “The Old Ones”

      Hastur, Cthulu and Nyarlathotep – TOGETHER AT LAST!

      Posted by mojo on 2007 07 18 at 03:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. 125 – the worrying thing is that one of our former PMs would fit right in: Fraser! Four Old Men of the Apo-calypso. More concerned with their own conga than with the Congo. Four duffers in search of a Darfur. Codgers sans Frontieres (and sometimes sans trousers!). Amnesia International.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 07 18 at 08:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. If they’re deemed to have wisdom when they’re so old why not wait til they’re dead and really benefit fromn their acculmulated experience?

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 07 18 at 10:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. *sigh*. from, accumulated…

      I’ll bet they know the secrets of unhurried typing too!

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 07 18 at 10:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. At least we know we are putting the world in the hands of elders of known fiber… it’s in their prescriptions, after all…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 19 at 01:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. Three blind mice…

      Posted by Forbes on 2007 07 19 at 08:35 PM • permalink

 

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