Earth enhottened

Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:31 am

Al Gore allegedly believes cigarette smoking is a significant contributor to global warming. With that in mind, please cast your votes for the hottest enemy of the planet: is it former Hawaiian Venomous Kate, or Norway’s Vampus?

1. And Bush was supposed to be the imbecile?

   Every time Algore opens his yap, I have to dig a deeper hole for my jaw to fall to.

   Posted by Dave S. on 2006 09 29 at 03:30 PM • permalink

1. My votes for the ancient babe who walks the streets talking to the pigeons and smoking up a storm. She ran a cathouse, for the mob, I think, but she went round the bend and wore a ratty black fake fur pillbox hat, black cocktail dress, silver boots with platform heels and soles and reeked of god-awful perfume.

   That, boys and girls, was a professional smoker.

   Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 09 29 at 03:31 PM • permalink

1. Didn’t Kate move to Kansas City about a year back for her husband’s job?

   In any case, it’s hard to beat a libertarian babe like her.

   Posted by Mark V. on 2006 09 29 at 03:33 PM • permalink

1. There’s something seriously wrong with Al Gore, I mean besides the obvious.  Nobody whose face is that swollen can be healthy.

   Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 29 at 03:34 PM • permalink

1. #3: corrected.

   Posted by Tim B. on 2006 09 29 at 03:39 PM • permalink

1. but it’s a plant!!

   Posted by embutler on 2006 09 29 at 03:43 PM • permalink

1. Ah yes the dreaded weed of death, today your lungs tomorrow the world.

   Posted by phillip on 2006 09 29 at 04:02 PM • permalink

1. Never having heard of Vampus before, I’ll have to give the initial nod to Kate. But, I think, like most of my fellow judges here, I’m open to persuasion from both parties…

   Posted by Ed Driscoll on 2006 09 29 at 04:14 PM • permalink

1. Apparently farting has a significant effect on global warming too, so maybe Gore should stop talking out of his arse.

   And it’s kinda hard to see enough of vampus to really judge, so i’d have to go with kate even though she suffers from being drinkless.

   Posted by pache on 2006 09 29 at 04:23 PM • permalink

1. Well, i vote for Vampus. I’ve always been attracted to Scandinavian women, although that might be part of some atavistic desire to inflict my genes upon the Vikings, thus avenging my poor Celtic ancestors who suffered so at their hands.

   Posted by trexkilla on 2006 09 29 at 04:33 PM • permalink

1. EeeeGad!  Losing that election really sent him around the bend, didn’t it.  In a more honest time, this poor man would have been confined for his own safety.

   As I’ve said elsewhere here, Algore’s real complaint is that we are still breathing after rejecting him.

   Posted by saltydog on 2006 09 29 at 04:37 PM • permalink

1. Take a look at the dude!  He’s as fat as a friggin’ house.  I think Big Al has consumed more than enough of the Earth’s precious resources.

   Posted by murph on 2006 09 29 at 04:41 PM • permalink

1. Gore better watch his mouth or he’ll lose Europe!

   Posted by Supercat on 2006 09 29 at 05:09 PM • permalink

1. I vote Kate.
   She homeschools, which get me hotter than smoking OR high heels.

   Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 09 29 at 05:38 PM • permalink

1. I heard that a good third of the audience beat feet before the Gorebot had the opportunity to bore them to death. This would have been an opportune time to run for the exit:

   Then, Gore had his staff opened a stack of cardboard boxes to begin selling his new book, “An Inconvenient Truth, The Planetary Emergency of Global Warming and What We Can Do About It,” $19.95, to the U.N. diplomats.

   In other eco-disaster news, Gov. Schwarzenegger announced he’ll tell us soon about his plan to shore up California’s coastline against the advancing seas. Sigh.

   Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 09 29 at 05:40 PM • permalink

1. I think someone is doing some long distance flirting here 🙂

   Posted by VamPus on 2006 09 29 at 05:50 PM • permalink

1. I’m my universe; whoever is single, is going to get my devotion.

   Posted by Mart Laar’s Beard Shaver on 2006 09 29 at 05:56 PM • permalink

1. To refresh everyone’s memory, Vampus was quoted by Tim last week for citing Blair’s Law in Norweigan:

   “En kommentar hos hablog gjorde VamPus oppmerksom på Blairs lov … Chavez anbefalte forvøvrig forfatteren Noam Chomsky.”

   BTW, she will be found in Tim’s List of Links. Just scroll down.

   Posted by ErnieG on 2006 09 29 at 06:03 PM • permalink

1. I tried to link here.

   Preview is my fiend.

   Posted by ErnieG on 2006 09 29 at 06:06 PM • permalink

1. Gore Blimey!

   Posted by Barrie on 2006 09 29 at 06:28 PM • permalink

1. “Smoke this”

   Posted by Howzat on 2006 09 29 at 07:01 PM • permalink

1. But when smokers die much earlier, then that means that there are fewer consumers to cause global warmingclimate change. So isn’t smoking helping the cause, then? Therefore, let “consumption ends consumption” be our battle-cry as we (well, you actually as I’m a nonsmoker) demand smoking be allowed in bars and restaurants again. Puff for Gaia.

   Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 29 at 07:18 PM • permalink

1. I’d have to vote Kate. Besides the cigarettes we smoked, there was much beer around during my short visit to her beachfront piece of heaven a while back – yes, MUCH beer, and the subsequent release of even MORE carbon dioxide into the ecosphere.

   We gleefully trashed the planet…and laughed….

   Posted by Wind Rider on 2006 09 29 at 09:50 PM • permalink

1. Tim,
   What’s the question again?
   Kate, cigarette or not (I quit in ‘97 after over 40 years)will raise global temps a significant amount on appearance alone.
   Mike

   Posted by mikdaley on 2006 09 29 at 10:22 PM • permalink

1. ’Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore warned hundreds of U.N. diplomats and staff on Thursday evening about the perils of climate change, claiming: Cigarette smoking is a “significant contributor to global warming!“‘

   ‘Gore showed computer-generated projections of ocean water rushing in to submerge the San Francisco Bay Area…’

   [Dave lights up another Marlboro]

   Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 09 29 at 10:59 PM • permalink

1. I’m with #10, I have a weakness for Scandinavian women: they can pillage and plunder me all they want.

   I’ve often thought that the global warmers must have gigantic egos to believe that the mere activity of man can influence global weather patterns. This theory is confirmed if Gore believes that even smoking can cause gloabl warming.

   Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 09 30 at 01:51 AM • permalink

1. Is it me or has Al Gore put on a bit of weight lately.

   Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 09 30 at 02:08 AM • permalink

1. Hard to tell, do you look like Algore?

   Posted by CB on 2006 09 30 at 02:54 AM • permalink

1. Hmmm.

   Al Gore thinks cigarette smoking adds to global warming?

   Honestly it’s getting a lot harder lately to write witty sarcasm that skewers liberals if they keep on saying stuff like this.  How the heck can I parody someone when they’re a caricature of themselves?

   Posted by memomachine on 2006 09 30 at 11:16 AM • permalink

1. #27, O and I:  Al looks as though he is made out of pies.

   Posted by ushie on 2006 09 30 at 12:36 PM • permalink

1. I would need to do a brazilian test first. Kate says she is an old smoothy.

   Posted by paddles on 2006 09 30 at 01:06 PM • permalink

1. I presume this means the Algore family has divested of all of its tobacco stocks, no longer plants its tobacco allotment on its farm (or sells it to others), and Algore personally is no longer cutting terbacky and hangin’ it in the barn, right?

   Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 09 30 at 03:11 PM • permalink

1. I’m so disgusted. If I’d have known he was going to go off on tobacco, I wouldn’t have quit.

   How much global warming do flaming a-holes like Gore cause?

   Posted by SoberHT on 2006 09 30 at 05:26 PM • permalink

1. Wouldn’t be the first time, Ms. V.

   So is Algore nixing wacky tobaccy too, or just regular type? Because i know a lot of environmentalist types who might reevaluate some things if they can’t have their mary jane.

   Posted by trexkilla on 2006 09 30 at 05:55 PM • permalink

1. ‘Gore showed computer-generated projections of ocean water rushing in to submerge the San Francisco Bay Area…’

   I am trying and failing to see any down side to this.

   Kate or Vampus?  That’s a dead-heat mate.  Both have nice shoulders, a hint of wanton sag, and beautiful minds.

   Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 09 30 at 10:35 PM • permalink

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