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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:31 am
Al Gore allegedly believes cigarette smoking is a significant contributor to global warming. With that in mind, please cast your votes for the hottest enemy of the planet: is it former Hawaiian Venomous Kate, or Norway’s Vampus?
- My votes for the ancient babe who walks the streets talking to the pigeons and smoking up a storm. She ran a cathouse, for the mob, I think, but she went round the bend and wore a ratty black fake fur pillbox hat, black cocktail dress, silver boots with platform heels and soles and reeked of god-awful perfume.
That, boys and girls, was a professional smoker.
Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 09 29 at 03:31 PM • permalink
- Never having heard of Vampus before, I’ll have to give the initial nod to Kate. But, I think, like most of my fellow judges here, I’m open to persuasion from both parties…Posted by Ed Driscoll on 2006 09 29 at 04:14 PM • permalink
- I vote Kate.
She homeschools, which get me hotter than smoking OR high heels.Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2006 09 29 at 05:38 PM • permalink
- I heard that a good third of the audience beat feet before the Gorebot had the opportunity to bore them to death. This would have been an opportune time to run for the exit:
Then, Gore had his staff opened a stack of cardboard boxes to begin selling his new book, “An Inconvenient Truth, The Planetary Emergency of Global Warming and What We Can Do About It,” $19.95, to the U.N. diplomats.
In other eco-disaster news, Gov. Schwarzenegger announced he’ll tell us soon about his plan to shore up California’s coastline against the advancing seas. Sigh.
Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 09 29 at 05:40 PM • permalink
- I’m my universe; whoever is single, is going to get my devotion.Posted by Mart Laar’s Beard Shaver on 2006 09 29 at 05:56 PM • permalink
- But when smokers die much earlier, then that means that there are fewer consumers to cause global warmingclimate change. So isn’t smoking helping the cause, then? Therefore, let “consumption ends consumption” be our battle-cry as we (well, you actually as I’m a nonsmoker) demand smoking be allowed in bars and restaurants again. Puff for Gaia.Posted by andycanuck on 2006 09 29 at 07:18 PM • permalink
- I’d have to vote Kate. Besides the cigarettes we smoked, there was much beer around during my short visit to her beachfront piece of heaven a while back – yes, MUCH beer, and the subsequent release of even MORE carbon dioxide into the ecosphere.
We gleefully trashed the planet…and laughed….
Posted by Wind Rider on 2006 09 29 at 09:50 PM • permalink
- ’Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore warned hundreds of U.N. diplomats and staff on Thursday evening about the perils of climate change, claiming: Cigarette smoking is a “significant contributor to global warming!“‘
‘Gore showed computer-generated projections of ocean water rushing in to submerge the San Francisco Bay Area…’
[Dave lights up another Marlboro]Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 09 29 at 10:59 PM • permalink
- I’m with #10, I have a weakness for Scandinavian women: they can pillage and plunder me all they want.
I’ve often thought that the global warmers must have gigantic egos to believe that the mere activity of man can influence global weather patterns. This theory is confirmed if Gore believes that even smoking can cause gloabl warming.
Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 09 30 at 01:51 AM • permalink
- Is it me or has Al Gore put on a bit of weight lately.Posted by Oafish and Infantile on 2006 09 30 at 02:08 AM • permalink
- Hmmm.
Al Gore thinks cigarette smoking adds to global warming?
Honestly it’s getting a lot harder lately to write witty sarcasm that skewers liberals if they keep on saying stuff like this. How the heck can I parody someone when they’re a caricature of themselves?
Posted by memomachine on 2006 09 30 at 11:16 AM • permalink
- I presume this means the Algore family has divested of all of its tobacco stocks, no longer plants its tobacco allotment on its farm (or sells it to others), and Algore personally is no longer cutting terbacky and hangin’ it in the barn, right?Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 09 30 at 03:11 PM • permalink
- ‘Gore showed computer-generated projections of ocean water rushing in to submerge the San Francisco Bay Area…’
I am trying and failing to see any down side to this.
Kate or Vampus? That’s a dead-heat mate. Both have nice shoulders, a hint of wanton sag, and beautiful minds.
Posted by Vanguard of the Commentariat on 2006 09 30 at 10:35 PM • permalink
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Every time Algore opens his yap, I have to dig a deeper hole for my jaw to fall to.