Drowning outlawed

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Last updated on July 2nd, 2017 at 08:51 am

The New York Times calmly reports:

Drowning in a sea of plastic bags, countries from China to Australia, cities from San Francisco to New York have in the past year adopted a flurry of laws and regulations to address the problem …

Wrong; in Australia, anti-bag legislation is only pending (and may take quite a while, given how busy is our Bag Minister). Via Alan R.M. Jones, who writes: “Note the NYT headline, ‘Motivated by a tax’. Only a paper like the Times could see the world so.” As far as drowning goes, Jonesy is facing the non-bag kind:

After a very wet week, it rained Saturday in Sydney and the forecast is for more:

Sunday: rain

Monday: rain

Tuesday: Showers. Chance thunderstorms

Wednesday: Showers easing. Chance storm

Thursday: Showers. Chance thunderstorms

Friday: Showers

Saturday: Shower or two.

Every pair of leather shoes in my closet has developed a severe case of mold, the dog is covered in mud and I’m considering putting a rice crop in the back yard.

If Tim Flannery was willing to put his reputation on the line predicting Australian cities would soon be without water by last year, how should we take his longer-term predictions?

Posted by Tim B. on 02/03/2008 at 08:40 AM
    1. Wait a minute. Doesn’t global warming mean floods and draughts?

      You had the draughts first, now the floods; next, the end of the world.

      It’s true I tell you; IT’S TRUE! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 03 at 09:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Yeah, Flannery gambled and lost on the drought. But I have to give credit where it’s due. It was a smart strategy, really. The strategy is: Make a prediction about something that’s probably going to happen (e.g., Sydney’s water suppy depleting) and link it to your more fanciful beliefs (AGW will destroy us all).

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 02 03 at 09:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. #1 Wimpy,

      Draughts???

      If we had draughts after the rain, then Alan’s leather shoes wouldn’t be MOULDY!!!

      /pedant/

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 02 03 at 09:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. I guess Flannery the Rain God has worked his magic again.

      We had 20mm of rain here to day, and south of Bris had eight inches (200mm plus).

      #1 Pssst…
      Wimpy, droughts, dude. But we can play checkers if you like.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 03 at 09:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. before we drown… checkers I mean.

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 03 at 09:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s been a while since I drowned on a plastic bag.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2008 02 03 at 09:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s also a shame that we haven’t built any dams to catch any of this non-existent rain that isn’t going to fall.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2008 02 03 at 09:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Building dams is even more evil than AGW!

      Posted by wreckage on 2008 02 03 at 09:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. I would’ve imagined that if we build more dams it will combat the rising sea levels.

      And give us more places to make those massive pyramids of chicks in bikinis water skiing behind boats with enormous engines.

      Win win, really.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 03 at 09:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. #9 You’d think so, wouldn’t you Penguin?

      But apparently we’re wrong. I don’t know how Greens can hold all these ideas at the same time and understand how much they contradict each other.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2008 02 03 at 09:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. #10 and not understand.

      Keyboard hates me.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2008 02 03 at 09:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ash,

      Cognitive dissonance? Greenies are the main reason why Australian cities are short of water.

      Posted by Penguin on 2008 02 03 at 09:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Drowning in a sea of plastic bags

      No hyperbole there.

      And of course, you’ve got your rampaging homicidal maniac Iraq vets.

      But illegal aliens? They don’t kill 4,000 Americans every year. They’re just hardworkin’ undocumented persons doing the California lawnwork and nannying that lazy Americans won’t do for four bucks an hour and evaded payroll taxes.

      Way to go, August Newspaper of Record.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 02 03 at 09:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #12 Which is somewhat of a surprise, considering they’ve never used any for a shower.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2008 02 03 at 09:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m going to bed and I want to say something to you all that sums up what I’ve heard tonight.

      Cheesy filos/whoooshky presidents/collective calamities/minor aberrations/delicious delectations

      Goodnight bon soiree

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 03 at 10:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks to all those who corrected my mistake about the word drowts.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 03 at 10:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Surely the solution to a flood of plastic bags is not littering.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 02 03 at 10:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Yeah, well, one man’s flood is another man’s drought.

      In Sydney, the answer is simple.

      If we block the drainage slots at the sides and corners of all the balconies of all the terracotta strata units across the entire city, there’ll be permaculture paddy rice terraces enough to feed the starving masses of Erskineville and Newtown.

      Protein and flavour can come from freeze dried kangaroo meat and Kakadu bush beans.

      Posted by splice on 2008 02 03 at 10:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. More looming drought here in Los Angeles.  Inches and inches of the stuff.  Ying Long is furious with us.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 02 03 at 10:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. “If Tim Flannery was willing to put his reputation on the line predicting Australian cities would soon be without water by last year, how should we take his longer-term predictions?”

      For the total bullshit they are?

      Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2008 02 03 at 12:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Luckily, a few people have noted that Ireland’s drowning tax has resulted in more drowning, so for now I can continue carrying shopping in the most efficient manner.

      Of course, the increased drowning is more discrete and stylish, which seems to be what’s important nowadays. Look at all these people and what they’ll put up with in order to be seen to be saving the planet. Don’t you wish you’d thought up that scheme? Or this?

      Posted by PJF-UK on 2008 02 03 at 12:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. #21 Look at all these people and what they’ll put up with in order to be seen to be saving the planet. Don’t you wish you’d thought up that scheme?

      That reminds me of pictures we used to see in the news of Russians standing in line with big leather valises in order to buy bread or shoes.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2008 02 03 at 12:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, last weekend, we had 6-8” of global warmening fall on my humble community.  Then we had global coolening pop in, and melt most of the global warmening away.  Not so cool as to permit normal outdoor activities, mind you, but cool enough to leave only clumps of the global warmening in the shadows.

      Today?  More global warmening.  Looks like 3” so far….and still falling.

      Time to dig out my global warmening shovel.  Again.

      Damn you, Al Gore!  Damn you to hell!!!!!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 02 03 at 02:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, isn’t it nice to have a ‘moral’ Bag Minister?  Queensland used to have the other kind, called Russ Hinze.

      Posted by Barrie on 2008 02 03 at 05:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #6 & 7
      Well, the bags would be swept away in storm drains and suffocate fish and turtles and stuff. I suppose that’s how they’ll drown humans.#8
      Dams contribute to green house gases (and methane, they produce more methane). Evil, evil things.

      I think jlc’s working on a dam in Qld. Hurrah!

      I love how state blames fed and fed blames state for things that don’t get done, like building dams to catch all the water which would provide supply for a very long time.
      They can’t do that now!

      #12 et al
      Well, greenies don’t need to use water to wash, why should we?

      #16 drowts
      I like it. It should enter the lexicon, with a special meaning.
      I know, the ones caused by global warming/cooling/climate change/rain/no rain/hurricanes/cyclones/blizzards/sand storms yadda yadda yadda.

      #24
      Wasn’t he a paper bag minister. Like the Police Minister and a few others?

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 03 at 06:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 & 25
      Terry Lewis Police Commissioner (I too have trouble with Wiki linky thingies… arrgh!)

      Posted by kae on 2008 02 03 at 06:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. 3 Not being $orry is pedantic.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 03 at 07:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. Big pool of water collecting at Kurnell.

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 02 03 at 07:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. The apparently unnecessary Sydney desalination plant could be named in honour of Tim Flannery.

      A NSW Premier named Iemma
      Says Global Warming’s a-big-a problem-a
      Plans fresh water from seaways
      (But built lots-a freeways)
      The skies might be dim but he’s dimmer

      Posted by dipole on 2008 02 03 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

  1. Ok. Who pissed off Ying Long?! I nearly floated by car on a major boulevard in Los Angeles last week! Our mayor is too shmoozing Hildabeast to cancel the water restrictions that he placed about a year to late! We’ve received more rain in one month than in all of 2007! Now get that damn cute, sea lion off my hood!

    Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 02 04 at 05:49 PM • permalink