Dial 911

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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 02:03 pm

It’s the Michael Moore bandit:

Academy Award winner Michael Moore’s fame has reached a new level in Monroe, where police are using his name as the moniker for a man suspected in a string of bank heists.

Police dubbed their suspect the “Michael Moore Bandit” because of similarities between the pair’s grooming and dressing habits.

Both men are overweight, middle-aged and have scruffy beards and a penchant for baseball caps, flannel shirts and blue jeans.

In a fitting tribute to the “Bowling for Columbine” director, the robber does not use a gun for his crimes.

But he does pass notes implying he has a gun … a misrepresentation Moore himself would be proud of. Pictures of the fat bastard here.

(Via Joe Jr)

Posted by Tim B. on 03/25/2005 at 09:50 AM
    1. boy, el blubbo took that academy award snub pretty hard, eh?

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 03/25 at 09:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does his note demand donuts?

      Posted by Habib on 03/25 at 09:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. He had a hot dog in either hand, and he wasn’t afraid to use them!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/25 at 10:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. TELLER FOUND BOUND, GAGGED WITH FICTITIOUS DUCT TAPE

      Posted by Paul Zrimsek on 03/25 at 11:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mr. Bingley — Word is, he went on a tri-state eating spree…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 03/25 at 12:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Famine strikes the midwest”

      yes, I do recall the headlines now, richard

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 03/25 at 02:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. If the guy really is all that much like Michael Moore, just stake out the area bakeries, supermarkets, restaurants, pizza parlors, c-stores and warehouse food clubs for any sudden spike in purchases (or if he’s buying online, for a sudden depature of a fleet of delivery trucks). The bank robber should turn up in a day or so.

      Posted by John57 on 03/25 at 03:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. So are you guys saying he’s… fat?

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 03/25 at 06:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. no, not at all

      Posted by guinsPen on 03/25 at 07:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. The guys on Blue Collar TV better watch out.  Though if this mutt has sleeves, they should be all right.

      Posted by Achillea on 03/25 at 08:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. No, Habib,

      He demands an interview.  Occasionally people hand him money so he’ll go away.

      Posted by Another random reader on 03/25 at 09:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. It can’t be Mikey, after all banks are repositries of capital and as such places that his socialist principles would prevent him from entering; if local tallow plants and lard repositries had been held up with a fictitious free shotgun from a misrepresented savings and loan, however, it’s be time for an APB (All Pork Bulletin).

      Posted by Habib on 03/26 at 01:06 AM • permalink

 

  1. “Good Morning, Sir! How can I help you? What’s this? A note … Hand me all the money, I have a … what is this … I have a …Gub? I can’t read the writing here. (turns to teller next to him). Hey, can you read this writing, I can’t quite make it out…”
    Poorly recollected from a Woody Allan Movie. He also made a gun from soap, and when he pulled it on the teller, (it had rained on the way to the bank) it was just a ball of suds.

    Posted by blogstrop on 03/26 at 04:06 AM • permalink