Denial and fantasy

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Last updated on July 13th, 2017 at 07:11 am

Dr Bernard Weiner demands reality:

Bush’s show-event is in line with how he governs: not aligned with reality. His actions mostly involve denial and fantasy, both of which require stage-settings and lots of spin.

Within that same paragraph, Weiner mentions “the plastic turkey he carried around for the cameras at a Thanksgiving dinner for the troops in Iraq.”

Posted by Tim B. on 12/09/2007 at 10:26 PM
    1. In honor of the (approximately) 7,476th appearance of the Great Plastic Turkey, I give you the Surfin’ Bird scene from Full Metal Jacket.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 12 09 at 10:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. The plastic turkey has seen its day and I think it should be replace by Spider Pig which seems to be experiencing a resurgences since the DVD release of The Simpsons Movie

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 09 at 10:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dr. Weiner is probably better known as this super hero (second character – obviously).

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 09 at 10:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. …but, but, when we reference things that never happened, it’s okay! Obviously! Because we’re the Good Guys! [barf]

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 12 09 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Bernard Weiner, Ph.D. in government & international relations, has taught at universities in California and Washington, worked as a writer/editor with the San Francisco Chronicle for two decades, and currently serves as co-editor of The Crisis Papers (http://www.crisispapers.org). To comment: crisispapers@comcast.net .

      With a background like that, the good doctor is undoubtedly an expert in denial and fantasy.  He probably sneers at plastic turkeys, though.  Too… common.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 12 09 at 10:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. How many points do I get for knowing, not guessing, while reading the quote that the storied plastic turkey was going to make an appearance at some point?* And, sure enough, one sentence later there it was.

      * Okay, I know I get about zero points for that.  It’s basically a “gimme”.

      Posted by kcom on 2007 12 09 at 11:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. After months of research and effort I have developed a near surefire system for turkey analysis and evaluation. I hope this will alleviate the confusion some face. here

      Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 12 09 at 11:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Here. Now you can be a political expert, too!

      #7: Thanks, colonel. Now I understand all that business about turkeys.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 09 at 11:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dr. Idiot wrote that 3 days ago? For some people it will always be 2003.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 09 at 11:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Incidentally, Al Gore seems to be wearing out his welcome everywhere, as, increasingly, he sees himself as a kind of Dalai Lama of global warmism. The picture in the article is great: the smugness is practically overflowing, like snot from a runny nose. There’s also a reference to something called “The Alliance for a New Humanity” (for those of you who want to get in touch with your inner-pothead, here’s their web site).

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 09 at 11:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Paco, I clicked on their website, made the mistake of clicking “listen to music”, and now I can’t turn it off. It’s Satan’s music I tell you! It’s draining my Purity Of Essence! I’m…dying

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 09 at 11:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #9 dean martin Dr.

      Idiot wrote that 3 days ago? For some people it will always be 2003.

      For some people, it will always be 1968, ferchrissakes.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 09 at 11:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oops.

      “Dr.” got orphaned.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 09 at 11:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. #7 – And Colonels have always been the best judges of poultry. Thany you, Colonel!

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 09 at 11:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. #10

      I think that getting in touch with my inner-Zantac would be more appropriate.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 10 at 12:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #11 Dean: Quick! Sprinkle yourself with holy water and wrap garlic around your neck!

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 12:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Yojimbo: I know what you mean. As building blocks for a “new humanity”, the organization’s ideas are pretty much just mud without straw.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 12:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hey Bernie

      We were sitting at an outdoor cafe in Munich (on a rare sunny day in early October) when our Israeli friend and her husband asked:

      You should have been in Munich last century, say about mid…it was a real gas. Surprised you have an “Israeli friend”.

      The “turkey” is soooo, ummm… passé. OH Bernie when in the fucking hell are you Leftist Jews, (as bright people…forget OUR U.S. Left, they are fucking “useless idiots”) EVER going to pull your heads out of your asses. YOU (generic) more then any other group of people should know (6,000,000 BERNIE) that “you” (generic) will be eaten first.

      You’ll look as golden brown as that imagined “plastic turkey” AND about the same size.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 10 at 12:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Talk about by name and by nature. And no doubt a fucking tofu one at that.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 10 at 01:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Good lord, I couldn’t finish that load of drivel.  After checking out his credentials, I had a much better understanding of how we got where we are today–thanks to he and all the rest of the crowd who’ve been running things for decades now.  Just when I thought I was going to have to soak my mouth in Listerine for the next 30 minutes (both to cleanse and punish), I read …

      The article about Gore.  Made my day.

      Heh, heh, heh.  Couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 12 10 at 01:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. #18 Bernie’s brain shrunk during the cooking. You noticed?!

      And he thought he was hiding it so well!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 01:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. So, hereonin his nic will be “Plastic Weiner”.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 01:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. A nonexistent plastic turkey exposing real turkeys for the turkeys that they are.

      There’s a weird kind of justice in that.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 12 10 at 01:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Will somebody please, please shoot down that bloody turkey story once and for all?

      Do people like Dr Weiner actually read the news, or do they simply skim the surface to take what they think they need?

      Posted by ann j on 2007 12 10 at 01:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t but perhaps fitting given the title:

      http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,25197,22898317-11949,00.html

      Australia’s per-capita carbon emissions have fallen 14% since 1990, the Kyoto baseline.  Total emissions are up 2.2%.

      So lemme get this straight.  Kyoto sets total targets but doesn’t allow for population growth.  Even if per-person carbon emissions didn’t increase at all, Kyoto would still requirer continual per-person decreases due to population growth?

      Not unlike the fantasty that we can avoid building new dams, despite population growth, by each using less and less water each year.

      Posted by alexs on 2007 12 10 at 02:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, no comments yet chez Weiner…

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 12 10 at 02:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. #26 – I noticed that too. Obviously his opinion is highly sought after.

      Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2007 12 10 at 02:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Bushevik regime does not want us to wake from our dogmatic slumbers, and the captive media is all to willing to oblige them.

      This dude is seriously

      See also, “Blissful Ignorance Ignorant,” from April 14, 2003).

      The Bushevik regime, how quaint. Does he know how many Jews Stalin “purged”? Even though the theoretical father was a Jew?

      You know, one of the Marx Brothers. Also his theory on capitalism v. communism, was ass back wards.

      Hey dudes alive and dead, Putin is giving it (theory) another shot…OR several shots concerning his opponents.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 10 at 03:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. 26&27; Nobody here has helped him out yet? Are we getting lazy?

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 10 at 03:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Okay, I get it, nevermind. That clown is so far wrong, so out of date, that it’s not worth it. The only reason it’s here is the plastic turkey obsession.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 12 10 at 04:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. “Bernard Weiner, Ph.D. in government & international relations, has taught at universities in California and Washington, worked as a writer/editor with the San Francisco Chronicle for two decades, and currently serves as co-editor of The Crisis Papers…”

      IOW, he’s as useless as tits on a boar.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 12 10 at 04:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. No comments, eh.  Well, the only friends he has who might read that load of horse puke are those two “Jewish friends”–giving him all the best by assuming that they are actual people.

      I bet the monad that passes for his mind has only plastic turkeys on the reel.  (How’s that for an obscure philosophical reference?)

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 12 10 at 05:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. If these guys cannot get a grip on the plastic turkey fraud, how could they ever grapple with
      The Great Hockey Stick Global Warming Fraud?
      One day their karma will run over their dogma.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 10 at 06:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. To paraphrase Mr Gump:

      “Plastic is as plastic does”.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 12 10 at 07:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Clearly he believes the plastic turkey tale in his heart as he believes that anything touched by Bush cannot be real or wholesome. To reject the tale of the plastic turkey would make Weiner have to question the other inconsistencies in the other stories the LLL tell about Bush and so he can’t let himself let it go.  Yet another sad case of BDS.

      Posted by Captain Sensible on 2007 12 10 at 07:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. Weiner is right.  Islamist terrorism is a fantasy.  Wild eye jihadis do not exist.  Those planes filled with innocent passengers that flew into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon?  Animated graphics.

      Okay, yes, Bush is stupid.  But he’s also clever and cunning.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 10 at 09:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. “Shallow Throat” Documents: A Pre-9/11 Bush&Co. Scenario
      February 21, 2002
      by Bernard WeinerThe Bush Administration seemed to have everything so well coordinated after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. How, many wondered, could they have put the whole shebang together so quickly? We may never know all the details, but recently some minutes of a pre-9/11 Bush inner-cabinet meeting have come our way, from someone inside the Administration.

      We’re not at liberty to reveal that mole’s identity, but the job held by this person—whom we’ll call “Shallow Throat”—includes access to important papers and thus the undated transcript below, believed to have been recorded in July or August of 2001, could well be authentic.

      P [presumably George W. Bush]: This Jeffords thing is terrible, Karl! Why the hell didn’t you massage the guy? With the Dems in charge of the Senate, we can’t push anything through anymore, and Lott is steaming! Our entire conservative program is on hold!

      KH [presumably Karen Hughes]: Karl’s already groveled, Mr. President. Many times since June. We all blew that one. Let’s figure out what to do NOW.

      VP [presumably Vice President Dick Cheney]: The Democrats are gloating; they know they have our agenda stymied. We’ve got to do something, something dramatic, to regain the momentum.

      Dr. Bernie’s scrawlings

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 10 at 09:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. #37 I thought you guys paid taxes so people like Bernie would get disappeared when they crack onto President Bushitler’s evil schemes?

      I don’t think you’re getting your money’s worth here El Cid!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 10:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. The only way to possibly speed the process along would be for the Congress to hasten their departure through impeachment. ‘Tis a consumation devoutly to be wished — and worked for — but I’m not holding my breath for that one either.

      Oh, come on, Doc, do hold your breath, pretty please?

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 10:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. OMFG – I just saw this:

      Nine males (3 oldest 16, 17 and 26) who pleaded guilty last month to gang-raping a 10-year-old girl at the Aurukun Aboriginal community on Cape York have escaped a prison term, with the sentencing judge saying the child (10) victim “probably agreed” to have sex with them. (Australian)

      Mind-bogglingly pathetic. She was askin’ fer it I guess, huh?

      Posted by mojo on 2007 12 10 at 11:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. #40

      I suppose “society is to blame”.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 10 at 11:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #41 It’s sick. I don’t know how the judge can possibly think that a 10 year old has the capacity to make that decision. Much less to have sex with 9 men.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 11:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. I sent this to Tim, but in case he misses it, I’m taking the liberty of referencing it now.

      Don’t worry, Ash: I’m sure it won’t be retroactive.

      If Labor endorses this, the masses will be carrying Howard back to the PM’s office on a sedan chair.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 11:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. Paco, I can’t imagine it ever getting up. The people it would most hurt are the people Labor claims to support. Low income families wouldn’t be able to afford the tax, and so would be forced into having abortions or jail or some other stupid Labor carbon-repayment scheme.

      Bolta also covered it.

      It’s a ridiculous, idiotic, stupid, moronic idea, but I can think of a few in the Labor ranks who probably like the idea. On the plus side, they’re also among those on the Labor side who shouldn’t breed.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 11:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hmm. I understand that poli-sci Ph.D.’s trying to pass themselves off as M.D.s specializing in psychiatry is a sign of childhood sexual abuse manifesting itself in later pederasty and B.D.S. At least that’s what I was taught in all of my medical courses working on my history B.A. (that I’m sure is as in depth as such training received by “Herr Doktor”).
      /sarc

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 12 10 at 12:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #44 Ash: I’m sure you’re right. I doubt that even the Greens would be foolish enough to advocate something like this. I think what we have is just another professor who has no policy responsibility or authority, mouthing off in order to make himself feel as if he’s “doing something.”

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 12:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. #46 I’m pretty sure they all know it’d be election suicide Paco. Regardless of their political stance on carbon, no one likes forking over heaps of money for anything, much less breeding.

      Peter Costello giveth, Wayne Swan taketh away.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 01:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. The face of the Old Media, or “Why the Future of Blogging Looks Bright.”

      BTW, is that lipstick or did Helen just catch and devour a possum?

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 01:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. 48

      What a vile contemptible, dare I say female?

      Helen…I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

      Sir Winston Churchill

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 10 at 02:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #40 Mojo
      There’s a huge shitfight brewing about this.Investigation going back 2 years into previous cases and sentences handed out.

      More here at Bolta’s.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 03:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50 & 44
      Oops.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 03:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe indigenous people are also grossly over-represented in the number of people actually doing the crimes.

      Or is that too insensitive?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 10 at 03:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. #49 El Cid: That photo of Helen Thomas looks like gang graffiti sprayed on a trash compactor.

      Now, I don’t normally believe it’s fair to make fun of someone’s looks. But I’ve known extremely homely people who whose sweet nature or inner goodness nonetheless made them appear almost physically attractive. Thomas is an arrogant nuisance who’s inner vacuity and malice would render a Swedish model’s physiognomy offensive.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 04:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Paco

      I stongly disagree with the last part of the last sentence!

      Didn’t President Bush say something like the following to dear Helen in a news confeerence awhile back?

      “Thank you Helen for giving us the Hezbollah position on this matter.”

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 10 at 04:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #54 Yojimbo: Yeah, I kind of figured that part wouldn’t fly.

      I believe you’re correct; I think the president did say something like that to the old crow.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 04:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. I haven’t read Dr Wiener, but I suspect he’s of the school who just can’t wait for the Aggressive Bush Era to change into a feebly benevolent, moderate Talkfest Era.
      It’s these academics who lack any grip on reality.
      And Bush himself is at fault for the recent spinfest at Annapolis, a classic case of unreality a la the Clinton era.

      Posted by Barrie on 2007 12 10 at 04:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. #40 majo

      Yes, the rape victim might be considered young being only 10.  But she was dark skinned and, apparently, it’s OK.

      /sarcasm

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 10 at 05:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. # 57 the Royal Commission into aboriginal deaths in custody was critical of the high rate of incarceration of indigenous people.  Maybe this is a new strategy to solve that little problem, don’t send them to gaol even if they commit serious crimes?

      Posted by surfmaster on 2007 12 10 at 05:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. Something I didn’t know about the shootings in Colorado, either.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 05:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. RE: 50 & 44, more at Bolta’s.

      A senior departmental official yesterday told The Australian that the child involved was sexually abused at age seven and, as a safety measure, was put with various foster families, eventually ending up in 2005 with a non-indigenous family in Cairns. But she was returned nine months later to Aurukun, where she was gang-raped by the nine males.

      But aboriginal people are disproportionately represented in prison….
      so now we let them go for the most heinous crimes.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 05:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Re the rape victim….I heard yesterday (ABC Radio) the QLD AG saying that under State law, consent cannot be given by anyone under 12.  So whilst it is clear that the “judge” is a creature devoid of all human deceny, it may also be wrong at law

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 12 10 at 05:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. RE: #60
      This child had a sexually transmitted disease at age 7.Seven.

      She was taken from her family and fostered with a, oh my God, how culturally insensitive, fostered with a white family. She was put back with her family after nine months.

      I know where that child would have been safest, and to hell with cultural sensitivity.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. # 62 – kae don’t be too concerned, I am sure some brave politician will say sorry very soon and it will all be magically fixed.  The legal profession are browsing their BMW & Porsche catalogues as we speak in anticipation of the sorry windfall.

      Posted by surfmaster on 2007 12 10 at 05:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Surfie, surely you mean

      $orry windfall

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 05:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. No kae, I meant $$$$$$$$$orry windfall

      Posted by surfmaster on 2007 12 10 at 05:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. You know that the child’s consent was all the more valid as her impressions of consensual sex were “coloured” by her previous experience.

      I wonder how Kim-Twat and the rest of the humanitarian team at the Lav Paper Factory are dissecting this gem.

      Probably isn’t even worthy of notice by the combined might of their collective intellect.

      / sarc rant off.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 10 at 06:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #65
      That’s better. You know we’re going to be really, really$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$orry

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 06:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. If nothing else this should be good for a laugh. Imagine, delivered in his ernest, patriarchal tone:

      Al Gore’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech delivered in Oslo via Huffington.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 06:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. #63 surfie
      I am sure some brave politician will say sorry very soon and it will all be magically fixed.There you have the heart of what is wrong with all pollies these days.

      No matter the magnitude of the Government stuff up, just get a polly to “apologise” with a serious face on and it all magically goes away and we are urged to “move on”.

      In the real world, if we stuff up, we get some of our cash taken away or get sent to audition for a role as Bubba’s bitch.

      Would love to see journalists rip into the next smarmy prick who makes a public “apology”.

      The tort of “misfeasance in a public office” is not used near enough.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 10 at 06:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. #69 Pickles

      Yes, I think this stratego-political manoeuvre, really badly buggering things up or ignoring bad things and then saying sorry I cockedup and hoping to get away with it, is called “doing a Beattie”.

      Then, after you’ve got your hands sticky from the public honey pot, you leave.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 06:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s only 10:00am here and already the discussion has moved on but at the risk of dragging it back, this quote struck me:

      “We were sitting at an outdoor cafe in Munich (on a rare sunny day in early October) when our Israeli friend and her husband asked:

      “What breakthroughs to peace do you think will emerge from the November Middle East ‘summit’ that Bush and Rice are hyping?”

      Now I mean, if you started a conversation that way in my pub the response would be something along the lines of: “P*** off D**khead!”

      Posted by allan on 2007 12 10 at 07:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. #68: Vell, by cracky, dat’s vun fine speech, Meester Gore! I especially liked dis here line:
      “So today, we dumped another 70 million tons of global-warming pollution into the thin shell of atmosphere surrounding our planet”.And dat’s yest from yur aeroplane! Yumpin’ yimminy, yew reely got baws de size aff a polur bear’s, Meester Gore, yessiree! Yew might vant to tink aff rowin’ a Vikink ship back to de states.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 07:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. #43- I might be a bit simple like, but couldn’t much the same result be obtained by ending all the subsidies, grants and slings provided to the progenators of rug monkeys?

      This would save not only the cost of another level of tax office bureaucrats but also get rid of the ones slinging out ackers to curtain tuggers now, removing the incentive for the lazy, stupid and feckless to breed like blowflies on roadkill and produce more of their kind.

      I think they only want the intelligent and productive to cease their fecund folly though- they produce conservative voters who question the validity of academic tenure, research grants into areas of no value and allowing dingbat poindexters to have input into public policy.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 10 at 08:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kae, thanks for the updates on that case.

      Does anyone else think that if it was a white girl, she would have been put in care years ago, and would never have had this happen to her?

      This reverse-racism crap really needs to stop before more children are harmed.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 08:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #32 Very obscure…how obscure depends on whether the import of the the epithet was drawn from the lost doxography of Sotion as interpreted by Diogenes Laertius; or was applied as an expressive simile comparing the Dr.’s cereberal cortex with the Planck length, which is (as I am sure all are aware) a unit of length approximately 1.6 × 10 to the −35 metres, or about 10 to the -20 times the diameter of a proton…

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 12 10 at 08:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #75 Mentalfloss: My thoughts, exactly.

      Hey, here’s a bit of poetic justice.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 09:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. I bought a teddy bear yesterday for $1
      I named it Mohammed and sold it on E bay for $2The question is: have I made a prophet?

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 10 at 09:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #77: Yes, but you have blasphemed a bear. Ulululululu!!!

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 09:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Bush Turkey photo

      More Bush Turkey photo

      Do with them what you will.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 10 at 09:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. #78 On behalf of all teddy bears everywhere, I demand justice!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 09:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. From a Yahoo News article: “Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore said on Monday he was not interested in serving in a new administration after elections next year.”

      In the same vein, Tim Blair has stubbornly refused to entertain any future offers to serve as spokesman for the Labor government, and I have blushingly demurred at any prospective invitations to give full body massages to Miss World contestants.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 10 at 09:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. I purchased a teddy the other day that was raising money for the lukemia foundation (I think) maybe we need to look into chocolate coloured teddy’s to raise money for poor little indigenous rape victims!!!!!

      But unfortunately that would be considered racist

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 10 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. on another note I was at a function last night and the speaker before saying anything else said “id like to acknowledge the original custodians of this land” Then I was waiting for – and the blah blah city council the next custodians of the land – and multiplex the current custodians of the land.

      Just wondering when someone is going to acknowledge the original people who inhabited this country who were killed off by a terrible “illness” which made their head cave in from the outside.

      Just wondering

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 10 at 10:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #82 That all depends on what you name the teddy bear.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 10:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. I was planning on calling it STATUTORY RAPE but then I thought maybe thats not such a grea idea so I have settled on Rory Pestatuta

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 10 at 11:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think they should sell like hotcakes

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 10 at 11:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s a good idea, but wouldn’t it be more apt for a bear to be named “Roary”?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 11:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. All right.  I just read MentalFloss’s comment at #75.  And I have no frickin idea what he just said.  Stop taking in stryne!

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 10 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #88 – I just ignored that post too many big words I didnt understand and I figured Mentalfloss didnt either

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 10 at 11:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #82 Killaette,

      “we need to look into chocolate coloured teddy’s to raise money for poor little indigenous rape victims!!!!!”

      That was not remotely amusing.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 10 at 11:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. #90
      I didn’t find #82 funny, either.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 10 at 11:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. I know I’m dreaming, but I hope the people involved in these two incidents get the sentences they deserve.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 11:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. OT: Global Warming has hit Britain.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 10 at 11:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #93: “The 55-year-old survived by sipping ice cold water from the taps and fought off the cold by dipping his feet in a basin of warm water.”

      Er, about that “basin” . . .

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 12:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. #94 I’m not game to ask the question Paco. I have a feeling that I really, really don’t want to know.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 11 at 12:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. I was going to wait till later but smugness and stupidity of this claibre needs to be presented while its still warm and steaming.

      George Monopod of the gruinaid.
      What a visionary he is.

      “Ladies and gentlemen, I have the answer! Incredible as it might seem, I have stumbled across the single technology which will save us from runaway climate change! From the goodness of my heart, I offer it to you for free. No patents, no small print, no hidden clauses. Already this technology, a radical new kind of carbon capture and storage, is causing a stir among scientists. It is cheap, it is efficient and it can be deployed straight away. It is called … leaving fossil fuels in the ground.”

      And shivering in the dark over my roo poo fire?

      “..We swarmed into the opencast coal mine being dug at Ffos-y-fran in South Wales and occupied the excavators, shutting down the works for the day. We were motivated by a fact which the wise heads in Bali have somehow missed: if fossil fuels are extracted, they will be used…”

      And next week I will write an article excorating the government for old people not affording their energy bills.

      “..Almost every week I receive an email from someone asking what the heck I am talking about. Don’t I realise that peak oil will solve this problem for us? Fossil fuels will run out, we’ll go back to living in caves and no one will need to worry about climate change again…”

      That would be about the same time of the week his “partner” knows he will lock himself in “that” room and moaning and rythmic slapping noises will be heard.

      “..Already, encouraged by recent prices, the pollutocrats are pouring billions into unconventional oil. Last week BP announced a huge investment in Canadian tar sands. Oil produced from tar sands creates even more carbon emissions than petroleum extraction. There’s enough tar and kerogen in North America to cook the planet several times over.

      If that runs out, they switch to coal, of which there is hundreds of years’ supply. Sasol, the South African company founded during the apartheid period – when supplies of oil were blocked – to turn coal into liquid transport fuel, is conducting feasibility studies for new plants in India, China and the US…”

      Hooray a happy story. Oh whats that george? Cheap fuels are a bad thing??

      I cant do justicte to the sheer ononistic glory that is george, read it yourself and laugh.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 11 at 12:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. #96: “..Almost every week I receive an email from someone asking what the heck I am talking about.”

      Almost every week? What, is this guy’s clock calibrated to reflect dog time?

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Talking about “warm & steaming”, here’s some “breaking news” nerk nerk.

      Maurie gets the arse for dropping his guts

      His farts don’t stink – yair Maurie, me missus says hers don’t either.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 11 at 12:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. 75 MentalFloss

      You’re getting into top form…Love it.

      May BE time I send another email to Ahmadinejad, ready for that?

      Lets see, think I’ll start off with

      Dear little fucker,…Howz dat?

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 02:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. 97 Paco

      What, is this guy’s clock calibrated to reflect dog time?

      That’s a slur against man’s best friend…lol.

      OH and I’ve had a problem setting up a thread at my place on Dogs…Corgis to be exact…:)

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 02:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. Where is Mr. Blair, it’s Tuesday?

      Posted by Cashew on 2007 12 11 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. One would wonder.

      Any one willing to venture to his abode and check for flies?

      Posted by deadparrot on 2007 12 11 at 03:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. #102 I dropped over there earlier, but the only signs of life were the flies feeding on the pizza crusts that we didn’t finish off at the party a few days ago.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 11 at 03:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ash_

      Flies you say…no no…anchovies they are…lol.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 03:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. El Cid, in that case I don’t feel so bad about swiping the crusts and eating them.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 11 at 03:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Link from Bolta’s, radio interview with 2GB’s Jason Morrison – black children are suffering due to the stolen generation myth.
      Link.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 04:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Well, it’s taken 16 days but they’ve finally silenced Tim. That’s big government for you.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 11 at 04:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. # 71, Israelis are very serious people…:)

      This guy Dr BW, on the other hand, is a little hard to take seriously.

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 12 11 at 04:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #74 Ash. No I don’t – incompetence has also landed white kids in a hell of a mess and many of them end dead from the amount of abuse.

      Incompetence is colour blind. Not to mention that a lot of parents have no idea how to bring up kids or behave with the ones they have. If they have psychological issues it’s even harder, cos they often don’t realise what they’re doing.
      This little Aboriginal girl, however, has been betrayed at the last by the Judge who has gone, clearly, insane.

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 12 11 at 05:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. # 90 it wasnt supposed to be if you have a look at the previous thread I was the first one to bring it up its disgusting and I think they should all be castrated

      just to clear things up

      Posted by Killaette on 2007 12 11 at 05:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. Dr. Bernard Weiner .. is that pronounced weaner or whiner?

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 11 at 06:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #109 Not to mention the social workers who returned this little girl to the worse place on earth for her.  I personally will volunteer to be in the firing squad.

      Posted by Cashew on 2007 12 11 at 06:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. 112.  Forget the personally.  Enjoying Scotch and red wine.

      Posted by Cashew on 2007 12 11 at 06:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. Young aboriginal girl gets gang-raped, yet our governments number one priority this very day is saying sorry. You fucking Labor imbeciles.

      Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2007 12 11 at 06:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. … or was applied as an expressive simile comparing the Dr.’s cereberal cortex with the Planck length, which is (as I am sure all are aware) …

      You know, it unnerves me when we get into a discussion on a subject I know a great deal about and I find MentalFloss standing right beside me to correct my mistatements.

      Unnerving I say.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 11 at 06:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh goody, AlGore has a petition he will present to the confence in Bali.

      Here.

      Which links to a site here.

      Which has links to hoover money from saps concerned inDUHviduals.
      A Gift of Climate Protection will not only be a present for your loved one, but also a present for everybody on this planet. Your generous support will allow The Alliance to reach new people from all walks of life about the urgency and solvability of the climate crisis – the planet needs engagement from each of us. Thank you for helping us spread the word and Happy Holidays from The Alliance for Climate Protection.
      I wonder if they pay for any of honest Al’s speeches?

      But wait theres still more.
      They have hollywood “stars” (spot the shark jumpers) telling you plebs how to live more modestly
      Movie stars, is there anything they cant do??

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 11 at 07:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. #114 AMF
      Yes, it’s sad, but he IS outraged. I’m sure.O/T, but very interesting…
      At that link there was this interesting snippet about catching whoever it was suspected of acting with the backpacker murderer by analysis of hairs found clutched in Joanne Clarke’s hand. linky. This technique is not new, I’ve seen it used on anthropological programmes on the teev to identify where people came from – Utzi comes to mind, the Ice Man. Queens University, Belfast (PDF) Forensic Isotopes. Fascinating. I wish I’d got into the field I wanted to 20 years ago!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 07:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Alliance for Climate Protection

      Sounds like some world control mob out of, oh, I dunno, some science fiction movie where the world is some federation and someONE is in control.

      inDUHviduals. Thanks Frollicking. I can use that!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 07:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Alliance for Climate PrOtection

      Sounds like some world control mob…

      You’re new at this, aren’t you, kae?

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 08:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Well, who wants to be POTUS if he can be Prez of the Alliance?

      Huh?

      Naaaaah…. Pac-, er.

      Naaaah.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 08:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m not good with anagrams.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 08:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. perfect

      alliance for

      climate

      o

      naaaah.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 08:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. orderliness…

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 08:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. What about the Primary Association for Climate Overseeing?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 11 at 08:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. premier alliance controlling Ourclimate

      Paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaco!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 08:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. What we’ve gotta do is get in on the ground floor. We’ve gotta move on this worldwide carbon trading scam, build our Aussie billions and mount a hostile takeover bid work our charm alongside the, um, established market leader.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 08:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #119 The Alliance for Climate PrOtection
      TACO?PACO’S got competition? I can’t wait to see the turf wars over this one!

      *gets popcorn, all agog*

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 12 11 at 08:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Look, I dunno nothin’ okay? Here at Pho Kau Trading, I just do what I’m told.

      What I can tell you is that every once in a while a careworn but striking chap wearing a pith helmet and smoking a panatela cigar comes to visit. He talks about innovation in a land of opportunity.

      Personally, I think he’s one of those English panda researchers who’s grown weary after a season of polar bear hunting.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 09:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. Are you prone to uncontrollable rage? Do your wives cower in fear whenever you walk past the steak knives? Are you frequently hit by the urge to “say it with explosives?”

      Not to worry. Help is on the way!

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 09:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. #129 Irritable fellows with OMS? No cuddly pandas there, Paco.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 10:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Alliance for Climate PrOtection

      paco is switching the words around to avoid detection of his involvement.  His idea of keeping of low profile.

      Well, if he wanted low profile, he shouldn’t have made that take over of Toyota and Caterpillar.  And, of course, the software companies.  Not to mention Coca Cola.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 11 at 10:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. #129 I find this link offensive.

      Mind you, if the link didn’t exist I would find that offensive too.

      I also find the fact that no-one has responded to this post yet offensive.

      If anyone does respond, rest assured I will be offended.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 10:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mr Wronwright.

      My name is Sprice from Pho Kau Trading.

      This a misunderstanding. This not a row profile.

      This a frat pack.

      This a self assembry. Instruction inside.

      Sorry.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 11:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. #132 T&B,

      I find your comment offensive in the extreme.

      I also find the fact that you will be resting assuredly even more offensive.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #134:

      I kill you.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 11:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. #135,

      ululululululululu!!!!!

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #136;

      I find that more offensive than anything else I’ve been offended by on this thread.

      However, I simultaneously find everything else on this thread to be uniquely the most offensive thing on the thread.

      I find this paradox extremely offensive. I KEEEEEEL you.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 11:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. #137

      You win.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. #138

      You will now lay down all your weapons, erect a mosque in your living-room and send all females to the postal address which will shortly be specified.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 11:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. #139,

      May I keep the goat?

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. #140: No. Send it to my room immediately. It’s, er, to trim the grass in my room.
      The grass in my room needs trimming.
      In private. Yes it does.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 11:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #141,

      you promise to care for the goat?

      He is my only male relative.

      Once he is delivered, I have no way of getting back home.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. #142 Er, busy now – come back later. SHUT THE DOOR!

      (hysterical baaaaaing in background)

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 11:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. #142 Pure comedy gold Pogria – you deserve Bender’s applause!

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 11 at 11:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope you don’t mind… but can the orphaned three year old children at our youth group choose a name for the goat?

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 11:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. #144 Thank you Richard.

      It wouldn’t have been possible without the skinny Pommy!

      We’re here ‘til Thursday! Try the veal! 🙂

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 11:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. #145 splice,

      I find that highly offensive!!!

      A youth group!

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 12:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #145 How about Mohammed?

      Doh! Godammit! I mean…… Damn! Too late…..

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 12:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #148,

      OFF WITH HIS HEAD!

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 12:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. #149

      No, no, what I meant to say was….

      (angry crowd noises in background, followed by the sound of stones hitting flesh)

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 12:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. #147 An all-uniting, ecumenical, multicultural, politically correct youth group with Christmas bells halal feasting, god willing.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 12:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now listen!

      NO ONE is to stone ANYONE until I blow this whistle!

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 11 at 12:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. #152,

      Oh DAMN!!!

      The grown ups have arrived.

      Splice,

      how good is the orphan’s aim?

      I want my goat back.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 12:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. #152….. or someone says Mohammed.

      OW! OW! Stop it!

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 12:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. #152 Is Dinsdale out by himself tonight Spiny?

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 11 at 12:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #154,

      I thought we had to wait until someone said Jehovah!

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 11 at 12:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. #131: Actually, Wronwright, we might dump Coca-Cola. Wimpy Canadian took the secret formula home one night and his dog ate it (or so he says). We’ve been scrambling and conducting experiments with new brands, but so far without success. Our carbonated dairy product, Milkola, didn’t move because the basic ingredient was obtained from a herd of cows in Vermont that had gotten into some onion grass, and Jalapeño Fizz led to several lawsuits in connection with alleged colon-related injuries. Detroit Natural Tap Water bombed, and don’t even get me started on our caffeine-heavy Spasticola, or Beetroot Beer.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 12:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. youtube.com Achmed the dead terrorist

      I sure hope I did this right, as I’m too busy to go hide in the Tardis from our Webmistress.

      Elizabeth
      Imperial Keeper

      Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 12 11 at 12:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh fuck.  Wouldn’t you know it.  I sold my YouTube stock and placed all my money in Coca Cola shares.

      paco, do something!  Do an Enron or a World-dot-com.  Anything.  Get my stock price up.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 11 at 12:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. #155

      Doug’s watching out for him… and to make sure he doesn’t nail the wrong guy’s head to the floor.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 11 at 12:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #157 Well, I heard that flavor enhancer 621 monosodium glutamate is the secret ingredient in everything food… McDonalds, KFC, even Vegemite.

      Hey, maybe it’s the secret ingredient in Coca Cola? Just sayin’ is all.

      Nobody finds out, so long as we get our Vegemite back. And Pogria’s goat.

      Posted by splice on 2007 12 11 at 12:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Who you gonna believe – a mere climate scientist, or a former Vice President of the United States?

      Another great picture of Al, incidentally (“You talkin’ to me, denial boy?”).

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 12:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. 162

      Ummm, Alec paco…Who is Dan Quayle?

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 01:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. #160, He’d have to have transgressed the unwrittn law. Then Dinsdale would have to insist mind.

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 11 at 01:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #162 El: Not that one; the one who thinks he’s really president.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 01:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. 165…

      Yes Alec Paco, I know…in the form of a question…

      Who is Bill Clinton?

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 01:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Interesting recap.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 01:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. #165, you mean Martin Sheen?

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 11 at 02:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. A-L G-O-R-E

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 02:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmm.  Blair must have been carried off to the gulag already.  It’s not like he’d be neglecting his blog for something so trivial as work or anything.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 12 11 at 02:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. This new diet Tim’s had us on is no good. You can do a steak rare but a blog should always be well done. I want my tummy back. You had your break in August, Tim. I expect nothing less than round-the-clock commitment until the same time next year. Actually, make that 2009.

      More posts, please. Don’t make me beg, because I will.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 12 11 at 02:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hi, Rebecca. How’s the homestead? Do you guys get snow?

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 12 11 at 02:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. 169

      A-L G-O-R-E

      Oooooo, so sorry. Correct BUT it needed to be in the form of a question.

      Mr. Schlangerbanger..Your answer, please.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 03:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #170 Hmm.  Blair must have been carried off to the gulag already.

      Lucky guy. Due to global warming, the gulags now experience an average winter daytime temperature of 28 C.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 03:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Virus Starts Like a Cold But Can Turn Into a Killer

      I had this virus, succumbing to it two days after returning from a trip to Australia. To give you an idea of just how bad it can be, understand that I’m not your normal, everyday, healthy adult male. I’m a National Champion Elite-level cyclist. I had a 104°F fever within a day, and a cough that would not quit. Now I have trained through just about every kind of illness that is transmittable (and some that aren’t), but it was three weeks before I could even think of riding again, and for a week could only exercise lightly. Six weeks later, I still have an occasional (4-6 times per day) coughing fit.

      Wapo

      via

      Instapundit

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 03:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. 28 degrees?  Brrrrr.

      Oh, 28 Celsius.  I have no idea if that’s cold or hot.

      We’re America.  We don’t do what the rest of the world does.  And damn proud of it too.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 11 at 03:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. #176 Would that imply you don’t pay for things in groats?

      1 groat = 11 1/2 shekels
      1 shekel 13 3/4 ells
      1 ell = 5 1/2 Fahrenheit.

      It’s perfectly simple.

      Posted by ThinAndBritish on 2007 12 11 at 03:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. #177

      Okee dokee smart guy.

      Enlighten us on “thruppence”.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 11 at 04:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. T&B,

      If the UN says we should pay for it, no we don’t.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 12 11 at 04:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. O/T

      Just an update to the “Federal Reserve Actions file”.

      WTF alternative universe are thse clowns living in anyway.

      And no, I wasn’t long into the announcement, I may be dumb but I’m not stupid!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 11 at 04:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Thruppence= pay as you go; or throwing money away.

      Cheers

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 11 at 05:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pod and T&B

      thanks for the early morning laffs.

      Goat indeed!

      Oh, and before being bundled up and sent to T&B there’s a few things I need to know….

      T&B’s got nothing to do with the Camden rural Mosque redevelopment plan (nearly called it Damden, but hey, with that construction it’s a possiblity…)

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. #172, Dminor, we do indeed get snow.  In fact, we had five inches of it on the ground Saturday.  Since then, it has rained nonstop, and today global warming has given us 65 degrees American.  Tomorrow it will drop down to 40 degrees American, and rain for the rest of the week, then get icy, then snow again.  I love winter, don’t you?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 12 11 at 05:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. #158
      Achmed the dead terrorist… there you go, Your Majesticality!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 05:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. #171
      While you’re down there…

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 06:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. #178
      Thruppence* is a penny more than tuppence. It’s actually thrippence. Thrippence.
      Don’t forget the ha’penny.But we don’t use them any more. We have dollar$ and cent$.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 06:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hello-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o?

      Hmm.

      Everyone’s gorn.

      Probably taken their togs and gone to Siberia, holiday destination of the New Globally Warmed Age.

      *sigh*

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 06:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, if anyone’s there, here’s someone I think is funny. He’s gone now, but the programme Up Pompeii is still pretty funny.
      Frankie Howerd.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 06:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Speaking of denial and fantasy… here’s the three most unreliable words in the English language:

      “Sources tell ESPN…”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 12 11 at 06:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. #177, wronwright is perfectly comfortable with shekels.  He also has paid his bar tab with obols, sestercii, and those big stone coins from Yap Island.  With the latter there’s always an argument about the exchange rate.  The most embarrasing bit was when he got caught trying to pass off some millstones as change to the Yap Islanders – they’re very aggressive about counterfeiting.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 12 11 at 06:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #129 Paco. Thanks for your link to that excellent site. I am relieved to learn that I am not the only male in the world to have been traumatised by rubber ducks.
      While visiting, I noticed this in the side bar:

      Violence in Iraq down 60%; media stories reporting this down 6000%

      T&B & Pogs: LOL. Hope you are both feeling better now ;>)

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 11 at 06:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Skeeter, rubber ducks are evil. Though I don’t need to tell you that.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 11 at 07:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. #186 Kae, we had to learn about their weird currency names — dimes, nickels, quarters, bucks — that make no sense at all.
      It’s only fair that we teach them about treys, bobs, crowns, quids, farthings and groats.
      Which reminds me: while working my way through college, I did piece work assembling switches. I was paid a penny-farthing per switch.
      Of course, those were the days when the country was run by Ming the Merciless Menzies. If only Julia had been around to save me from sweat-shop workplace agreements.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 11 at 07:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. #193
      G’day Skeets.
      True.
      That old sweat shop thing you had going, wasn’t it work and get paid, or starve?

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 11 at 07:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. I wonder if Kevni will bring back Therese a cute little Kyoto t-shirt as a souvenir?

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 12 11 at 07:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Not quite, Kae. My scholarship allowance just covered board and lodging. But I needed all those extra farthings to cover other essentials like booze, cigarettes and female companionship.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 11 at 07:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #193: we had to learn about their weird currency names — dimes, nickels, quarters, bucks —

      Don’t forget “fins”, “sawbucks”, “double-sawbucks”, “c-notes”. “yards”, and “grand”.

      With respect to rubber ducks, I’ve had an aversion to them ever since I heard about one of those touchy-feely managment consulting firms – Farr & Associates, I believe it’s called – that runs executive retreats, where people are encouraged to get in touch with their inner-child by playing with a rubber duck in the bathtub (no lie). I always avoided these things , myself, through the simple expedient of threatening to quit rather than participate in such an asinine and undignified procedure. The numbers of high priced, overbearing egomaniacal execs who actually went through this stuff because a CEO or Board chairman pressured them was amazing.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 07:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. We once brought a rubber duck for a chef I worked with as a joke.
      The next year we took it to subi markets and got it a nose ring and its nipple pierced. It became a bit od a site mascot, so they do have some redeeming qualities.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 11 at 08:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, a “quarter” is a quarter-dollar, and “buck” is short for “buckskin”, which was a medium of exchange in our strapping-frontiersmen days.

      How about “two bits”? That’s a quarter, or two-eighths of a piece of eight (from, I believe, the Spanish real coin, which was scored in quarters that could be broken off. )

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 12 11 at 08:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. #197: Did the trainee executives in the tub realise they were being videoed by a Paco subsidiary?

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 11 at 08:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Completely O/T, Lebanese Cleric names Syria’s Assad “Godfather of Idiots

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 12 11 at 08:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. 201 MentalFloss

      Excellent link…OH and “Godfather” is not to be confused with anything whatsoever, in my honor society.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 11 at 08:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Adherents of the Prophet and residents of the Shakey Isles may find this offensive. If so, they can go forth and multiply.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 11 at 08:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #200: Not in time, dear fellow, not in time. They were subsequently offered the opportunity to purchase Class “C” non-voting stock in Paco Enterprises.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 09:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Heroic” lefty.

      Those Mormons really ruffle his feathers, but he claps his wing over his beak when the subject is Islam.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 09:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don Surber links to an article that claims that smokers are more prone to mental illness than non-smokers.

      Maybe. I mean, it would certainly explain me; although, how crazy would I be if I didn’t smoke? And crazy or not, this dude’s still the coolest.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 11 at 10:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. A favorite joke when I was in school.

      How does it feel to have your lips around the butt of a camel?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 11 at 10:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Has our favorite geometeer hijacked the Tim-Tammer for her own selfish purposes?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 11 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. null

      Oh, festive Greeting to you all! Where’s TB?

      Posted by gin&tonic on 2007 12 11 at 11:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim Tammer?

      Posted by gin&tonic on 2007 12 11 at 11:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #197 One of my former executive directors (a yank that did not have a touchy feely bone in her body, although she WAS prone to holding phone conversations with her hubby that involved a lot of “sweetie”, “snookums”, “love ya honeybuns” in the middle of a meeting) inflicted laughter therapy on the lot of us one day right out of the blue.  I was so scarred by the whole episode she did not get a lick of work out of me for the rest of the week, and I still harbour resentment to this day.

      Posted by entropy on 2007 12 11 at 11:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Am I the only one wondering what that laughter therapy was or am I just too dense to sense the obvious?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 11 at 11:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. *echo* *echo* anyone watch Top Gear?

      Posted by gin&tonic on 2007 12 11 at 11:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. #212: Here you go, Yojimbo. Get ready to grab your sides!

      In high school, our laughter therapy consisted of convincing a new kid to go out and ask one of the third-year-in-the-11th grade, denim-jacketed country boys smoking a gasper on “The Flats”, “How does it feel to have your lips around the butt of a camel?” Everybody always felt much better after that (except for the new kid).

      #208: Has our favorite geometeer hijacked the Tim-Tammer for her own selfish purposes?

      Oh, no! Just out of curiosity, I checked some of the recent sales invoices issued by Pirate Apparel for Capturing Ozzies, and found this ominous item:

      One (1) puffy pirate shirt, with interior coating of skin-absorbent GHB. Rush Order. $19.95 + $29.95 S&H.

      Man, he’s a goner. Unlike many Paco products, this one is highly reliable.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 12 at 12:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #14:paco

      Ha!

      I’m thinking that learning what Ph.D.,MFCC means might constitute an evening of laughter all by itself.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 12 at 12:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. #215 Yojimbo: I find your comment very therapeutic.

      BTW, one of the links in that site leads to a page that quotes the motto of “Chuckles the Clown” (“a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants”), from the Mary Tyler Moore Show, but incorrectly identifies him as “Giggles”. Pretty shoddy research for a Ph.D.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 12 at 12:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Anyway, I guess laugh therapy’s probably better than this.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 12 at 01:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Nigel Scullion and “the best night of his life”. Quite a contrast to our new PM and his saw nothing/too drunk to know/rang my wife anyway approach to an expose in the press of a night out on the turps.

      Posted by Richard Sharpe on 2007 12 12 at 01:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Seeing as Tim’s still busy, whatever, I read
      from this link

      As of August 2007, we’ve measured where the warming is occurring in a fair bit of detail, using satellites and balloons.

      However, I read the balloons as baboons.

      >>giggle<<

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 01:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #218 Richard

      Scullion is a bit of a scallywag. Former chainman on road building crews in the NT, commercial mackeral fisherman, holder of contract to burn confiscated illegal fishing boats and owner of “barefoot marine” in Darwin.

      According to the story, he didn’t know what the report was about but “If it’s about the night I got on the piss in Russia and got cuffed to a pole in me jocks, yep that’s me”

      If any of the yarns about the times he had in a Kalgoorlie share house with a mob of miners hit the street, or antics while camped near the Matarankas pub, he’ll be a national effn hero

      Excellent

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 01:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. If The Bali Conference has taught us anything, it is that Prime Minister Rudd is as comfortable dispensing half truths, faux symbolism, empty platitudes, boilerplate catch phrases on the international stage as he is on the national stage. Those years ordering take away from Madame Fongs for the real diplomats has paid off in spades.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 01:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. #219 Kae, from your link:

      The IPCC 2007 report (the latest and greatest from the IPCC) is based on all scientific literature up to mid 2006. The Bali Conference is the bureaucratic response to that report. Too bad that the data has changed since then!

      I do hope our representatives at the Bali conference know about this.
      I saw somewhere that Mr Rudd has a meeting with IPCC’s Stern to find out what the economic consequences of ratification will be.
      Mr Rudd would be hard-pressed to find a more widely discredited “expert” than Stern.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 12 at 01:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. #218 & 220 – Strewth! His weekends away sound like my good ones! And an honest bugger to boot. Gives me hope that story about the pig, the stripper and the bottle of nail polish remover won’t hinder my chnaces come preselction time.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 01:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s pretty good, isn’t it Skeeter?

      Just shown friends the radar weather thingy you showed me. Very good. Taa!

      That humongous storm headed this way seems to have fizzled out now.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 01:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #223 IT
      The yarn about the guinea pigs and the rabbits that the coppers found in the laneway beside your office won’t hurt you either IT, nor all them murders wot you done, but if that receptionist dobs you in for pinching her on the arse at last years Xmas party, you’re gorn mate.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 02:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #225 – Not to worry. I’ll fix her up with a cushy job taking hard dictation from foreign dignitaries and wot not. Coupla first class tickets to Paris courtesy of DFAT should smooth over any other hard feelings she can come up with.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 02:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. When one is a cultural attache, roving ambassador for the yarts and member of the Australian cheese board, such trivialities are easily dealt with, I’m sure.

      Latent predeliction for telling tales out of school can usually be uncovered in the interview phase I have found.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 02:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. How hard is it to read an autocue? Granted to do it on SBS it helps to eith be a left footer or have a name like a eye chart, but why all the animosity for 30-60 mins a night of sitting around reading?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 02:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. What I’ve learnt from Bali eco conference. Always book a deluxe suite incase you get a laid by a conference delegate. Always carry your own imported bottled mineral water. Always pack your own suitcase. Always bring your own tax paid government jet. Always get duty free at Sydney airport.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 12 12 at 02:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. and don’t take your boogie board

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 02:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #229 And yet you didn’t describe anything I don’t already do to get myself mixed up with Government staff…

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 12 at 02:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, and always bring a good coffee boy for your mornings.

      Hi Ashy xx

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 12 12 at 03:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #230 – Poor Schappelle. She tried to go for a boogie board and ended up with 6 kgs of weed and an exerciseyard view room at the Bali Hitlon. But pity the poor bastard who had to smoke 6 kgs of styrofoam.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 03:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #233
      Don’t care how much Champion Ruby you spin with it, that styro is still rough as guts.#229
      Always book a deluxe suite incase you get a laid by a conference delegate.

      So that’s where you’ve been 1.6

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 03:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. #228 IT: Their ABC have prolly made him an offer he can’t refuse, or
      The ALP will parachute him into Wentworth for the next election, or
      All of the above.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 12 at 03:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #235

      Al Jazeera

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 12 12 at 03:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. #224 Kae:
      Do you mean this pretty Radar/Lightning page?
      It’s getting a bit scary around here. If you are looking for me, I’m under the tank-stand hiding behind the dobe.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 12 at 03:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. #237….you can just see me in the dark behind the fearless guard dog.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 12 at 03:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #237
      Yeah, that’s the one. It’s good.I have a concrete tank on the ground, I can’t hide under it.

      Looks like Karana Downs back to Kenmore copped a pounding. Everywhere else was OK.

      The wind is up here at home, and I think there’s more storms a’comin’.

      There was a swarm of those “flying ants” (I’m told they’re termites) at work last night, the wings and corpses were all around the front door. Someone said “Means there’s going to be a flood.” Hmm. Not where I live. Means there’s been some rain.

      However, the ants were building up the levees around their ant-nest entry ways.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 03:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cute photo. Neither of my dogs are fright by lightnin’. The ones gone on before were. The two I have now, the girl is young still and not scared by anything except people, and the old fella is deef and blind.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 03:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. #236 Yeah Pickles. I hadn’t thought of that. Much more likely.

      Posted by Skeeter on 2007 12 12 at 03:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. 1.618 What have you done with Tim Blair?  Hope you haven’t done anything tooooo nasty.  We need him here.  (BTW did you enjoy it)?

      Posted by Cashew on 2007 12 12 at 03:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. Just had the misfortune to see an item about the multi gigawatt-munching Kylie gig to congratulate the joint Nobel laureates, which featured every buckethead clothes horse, vacuous celbrity and climate commissar on the face of Gaiea- the irony of a electrically amplified entertainment in a heated hall to pay homage to a fat git in a bad suit and a pack of power-hungry bureaucrats who want everyone to stop using energy escaped the giant intellects present it seems.

      Highlight was Mensa candidate Uma Thurman, featuring a po-faced look on her smug, sanctimonious dial that’d make the Mona Lisa look like Phyllis Diller on PCP, spruiking “Finally we have victory of science over skepticism!!– looked on by Kevin Spacey with an equally self-satisfied smirk on his puss; I used to think he had a vague sort of intellect, but either I was wrong or the Peruvian Marching Powder has turned his cerebellum into blancmange.

      If Uma & the rest of the Hollywood brians trust had the sort of enquiring minds that investigate, read research, study conflicting opinions and judge ideas on evidence and merit they might twig that Tennessee Tubby and the I Pee CCs have been widely discreditied, most of their claims found to be cobblers and they now have the credibility of Glenn Wheatleys tax accountant.

      So many people in need of a slap, so few hands.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 12 12 at 03:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #228
      His replacement is Anton Enus….HA HA HA HA HA HO HO HO HO HO
      Bet he copped shit at skoowl!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 04:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. #243 – looked on by Kevin Spacey with an equally self-satisfied smirk on his puss.

      Wonder if it was the same look he had on his face after he was caught soliciting men for sex in Hyde Park, London?

      I’ll forgive Uma her sins. After spending so much time on her knockers, God couldn’t be arsed doing anything with her brain.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 12 12 at 04:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #243
      You reckon that’s bad, I listened to Kevvies’ Bali Speech on the way home…. Nearly fell asleep at the wheel, when I wasn’t muttering “You’re an idiot”, at him.And it’s pissing down again here.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 04:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. That’s Kevvie, PM of ‘Straylia.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 04:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. #230
      Wouldn’t that be “Dont pack your dacca with your boogie board”?

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 12 at 04:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. Why are people metioning Hollywood and brains in the same sentence?
      They get paid lots of money to speak lines they didnt write with conviction, much like used car salesmen and con men.
      They are proffesional liars.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 12 at 04:17 AM • permalink

 

  1. Sometimes our local rags cartoonist just nails it.

    Monkey boys.

    Wood ducks

    I think garret is going to be the gift that keeps on giving for cartoonists.

    Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 12 at 04:22 AM • permalink