When dave comes to town

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Last updated on August 8th, 2017 at 10:38 am

This week’s column.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/26/2007 at 10:53 AM

Great column, Tim. The only thing that doesn’t ring entirely true is the image of Phil Adams standing on something as flimsy as a mere stage; surely it would take a reinforced mesa or plateau to support him?
Posted by paco on 2007 01 26 at 11:02 AM • permalink

Comedy gold as usual. 🙂
First post?
Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2007 01 26 at 11:03 AM • permalink

Dang! Second. Story of my life. 🙁
Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2007 01 26 at 11:03 AM • permalink

#3: And may I ask just where have you been, Mr. Snuffalupagus? Haven’t heard from you in a while.
Posted by paco on 2007 01 26 at 11:11 AM • permalink

Free david hicks. With every rocket propelled grenade launcher sold.
Posted by surfmaster on 2007 01 26 at 11:24 AM • permalink

Great work! You’ll take some flak!
Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 01 26 at 11:27 AM • permalink

#4 – Imaginary talking Woolly Mammoths are notoriously fickle.
Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 01 26 at 11:29 AM • permalink

#4 – Remember the Sesame Street Episode where they had the huge intervention for Big Bird? There is no giant Mammoth, Big Bird! We’re your friends, bird! Stay away from the dealers at the corner, bird!
Posted by boxofmatches on 2007 01 26 at 11:33 AM • permalink

Meanwhile today the Age, along with the obligatory attack on the Australian flag By Traceeeee publishes a two-page obituary to some dead American communist crone no-body in Australia has ever heard of. Tim, I envy your ablity to bring off successful satire when the Left’s behaviour makes satirising it so close to impossible.
Posted by McAnzac on 2007 01 26 at 11:41 AM • permalink

Rosie O’Donnel’s dead, McAnzac?
Posted by andycanuck on 2007 01 26 at 11:59 AM • permalink

As offensive as it gets? I can think of something even worse in the Islamic mind: Forget the national flag, the ladies (the comelier, the better) should embroider “Free Hicks” on their bikini cups. They should paint “Free Hicks” on their butt cheeks. And they should parade these uncovered meat slogans on every beach and at every rock venue.
Of course, any drunken Yanks in the crowd will misread them as “Free Hickeys” and probably get their faces slapped.
Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 01 26 at 01:49 PM • permalink

Now Rebecca, you’re just trying to confuse them.
Rosie O’Donnel’s DEAD! I don’t want to sound all eliminationist, but would that it were true cuz she irritates me no end. Would that her type of screeching viciousness would be buried with her. It would be a start.
Posted by saltydog on 2007 01 26 at 03:37 PM • permalink

Oops. I got sidetracked. Excellent article, Tim, as usual. You and a handful of others are all that keeps the MSM in business.
Posted by saltydog on 2007 01 26 at 03:39 PM • permalink

some dead American communist crone no-body in Australia has ever heard of.
Ah, but WHICH ONE, McAnzac? There must be several hundred fresh corpses that meet that description…
Posted by mojo on 2007 01 26 at 03:42 PM • permalink

Well done. Another great column.
Posted by curious george on 2007 01 26 at 07:51 PM • permalink

I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. I love the sly digs peppering the article. Even as a teacher, the mention of just who was in the crowd was excellent. Well done.
Posted by Nic on 2007 01 26 at 08:26 PM • permalink

Superb column Tim. Hilarious!
I can imagine Phat Phil winning the tug-o-war for Mitchells [slightly soiled] under pants.
Posted by LaoHuLi on 2007 01 26 at 08:51 PM • permalink

Laughed so hard I prolapsed!. You’re a saucy bastard, Tim.
Posted by Daniel San on 2007 01 26 at 09:52 PM • permalink

3 audience members trampled – they got between Adams and the refreshments trolley.
Posted by egg_ on 2007 01 26 at 10:05 PM • permalink

Bloody hell.
A friend of mine, read the article over breakfast. After a rather large Australian Day, not realising it was satire, she said “geez, has he come back to Australia?”
What frightened me, is that whilse I found it hilarious, she found the entire article entirely plausible.
Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 01 26 at 10:19 PM • permalink

Tim, I think you captured it perfectly. If he does get back here, it will only be tired of anti Howard media tarts (Adams, Lane etc), and their hangers on who will welcome this ‘faecal material’. But, if I were Momaad Dawood (whatever he is called, never could work that primitive tongue), I would be watching out for his children’s grandfather, that guy really wants this rodent back for other reasons I think.
Posted by BJM on 2007 01 26 at 11:41 PM • permalink

Ha ha ha. Just compared your column with Phat Fills in the Aus. Couldn’t read more than a para of his. Read yours twice.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 01 27 at 06:57 AM • permalink

Once a bloody traitor fought in Afghanistan
Under the flag of the Talibanis
And the left whinged as Dave rotted in Guantanamo
“Who’ll come a-freeing Mohammed with me?”
(chorus)
freeing Mohammed
freeing Mohammed
Who’ll come a-freeing Mohammed with me?
And the left whinged as Dave rotted in Guantanamo
“Who’ll come a-freeing Mohammed with me?”
Time came for Dawood to front up at the Tribunal
Up jumped a lawyer named Major Mori
And he wailed as his actions kept Hicksy in Guantanamo
“Who’ll come a-freeing Mohammed with me?”.
Up spoke Phatty Phil preaching on his Late Night Live
Up spoke Mike Carlton – Lane, Traceeee
“Where’s our hero you’ve got in your Gitmo Bay?”,
“Who’ll come a-freeing Mohammed with me?”
Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 01 27 at 07:58 AM • permalink

#22 Mr Creosote, I suffered for you. The entire thing was a plug for a product being created by a mate of Phat Fills. You missed nothing interesting.
Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 27 at 11:45 AM • permalink

#23 eeniemeenie, that’s highly funny. The sad thing is, you haven’t ended the song with either Mohammed committing suicide or being freed. I must know how it ends!
Posted by Ash_ on 2007 01 27 at 11:47 AM • permalink

In a post some time ago I stated that I come to this blog for laughs. These days I come here mostly for my sanity. Last Sunday after mass an acquaintance couldn’t wait to tell me about a DVD her son ordered from the US showing how George Bush blew up the World Trade Centre and Pentagon with remote control. The more I tried to reason with her using all the best arguments I picked up here the more determined she was that it was true without even seeing the DVD. I despair, God help us.
Posted by Crossie on 2007 01 28 at 09:23 AM • permalink

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