Last updated on May 20th, 2017 at 07:24 am
Earth Day is so named because that’s the day all your purchases fall to the ground as you leave Whole Foods:
Come next Tuesday, in a move flagrantly timed to coincide with Earth Day, the Whole Foods supermarket chain will no longer offer its customers the plastic bag option.
That’s especially bad news for Arugulan Americans like Barack Obama, who currently struggle to afford their arugula – a bitter vegetable, coincidentally – and now have no means of carrying it. In other stunning Earth Day developments:
Celebrities are Going Green for Earth Day