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Last updated on July 13th, 2017 at 01:29 pm
Some advice for anti-American future US resident Toni Collette – whose slashed wrists of 2004 are now presumably healed – from the Deceiver:
Collette can still pull off this whole “Aussie Pride” thing without contradicting herself. The trick is to homeschool the kid and feed her (or him!) a steady diet of nothing but Australian movies and TV shows. They’ve got at least a dozen of each down there, and that’s not even counting the Yahoo Serious oeuvre. Her people have recently discovered how to fashion crude DVDs out of available materials (rocks and sand, mostly), so that should help. Then she can make her vacuous American fodder, collect her vacuous American dollars, and still have a clear conscience. Yay!
Trouble is, every time filming ends and Toni flies home from LA she’ll be killing Gaia. Toni’s better off staying in the US. Please.