Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 12:42 pm
The Toronto Star reports:
In investigators’ offices, an intricate graph plotting the links between the 17 men and teens charged with being members of a homegrown terrorist cell covers at least one wall. And still, says a source, it is difficult to find a common denominator.
We now cross live to the set of CSI Toronto, where filming is underway:
Sgt. Warren Bollard: (staring in bewilderment at an intricate graph) I just can’t find any common denominator! It seems as though these 17 men and teens have absolutely no point of commonality at all!
Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble: I agree, Sarge. It’s a mystery unlike any other we’ve ever known in this peaceful multicultural paradise, to which millions of Americans emigrated following the Bush election thefts of 2000 and 2004.
(The pair continue staring at the intricate graph. Cleaner Gilles de Funt enters.)
de Funt: (sweeping) Dere names kinda all look de same.
Sgt. Warren Bollard: Shut up, ignoramus! Attend to your broom work in silence!
Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble: Wait, Sarge! The stupid floorsweep may be on to something. Look at those names: Fahim Ahmad; Zakaria Amara; Asad Ansari; Shareef Abdelhaleen; Qayyum Abdul Jamal; Mohammed Dirie; Yasim Abdi Mohamed; Jahmaal James; Amin Mohamed Durrani; Abdul Shakur; Ahmad Mustafa Ghany; Saad Khalid. Do you see the pattern?
Sgt. Warren Bollard: (adjusts glasses, peers yet more intently at the intricate graph) Yes … yes, I think I do see something. Something that rather leaps out at one, once one strips away all the distractions surrounding this confounding and inexplicable case!
de Funt: (still sweeping) Dey is all …
Sgt. Warren Bollard: They’re all male!
Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble: My God! You’re right!
Sgt. Warren Bollard: And look! Fahim Ahmad … Zakaria Amara … Asad Ansari … Shareef Abdelhaleen … Qayyum Abdul Jamal … Mohammed Dirie … Yasim Abdi Mohamed … Jahmaal James … Amin Mohamed Durrani … Abdul Shakur … Ahmad Mustafa Ghany … Saad Khalid. Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble, are you seeing what I’m seeing?
Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble: Yes! They’re all Canadian residents!
de Funt: Dat intricat gaf, dat’s where all the clues is, oh for sure. (leaving) Idiots.
Sgt. Warren Bollard: (lost in thought, deciphering new clues from the intricate graph) Good Lord! Four of their first names begin with A! Arrest all male Canadian residents named Allan and Adam and … and … and … Albert!
Staff Superintendent Pauline Tumble: Sarge, you’ve solved this mystery single-handed. Love me.
Sgt. Warren Bollard: Okay.
(For more on arrestee issue avoidance, visit Andrew McCarthy)
Page 1 of 1 pages
Commenting is not available in this weblog entry.