Country music for the modern listener

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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:30 am

Texaco Tracey-Lou and her Toeless Tennessee Tappers present their latest Internashville crossover smash:

MoonSEAL Daughter

My momma was a moonbat
Daddy was a Navy SEAL
So I grew up conflicted
The way a moonSEAL daughter will

Momma went to demonstrations
But Daddy liked to hunt
Ma was always readin’ Pilger
Daddy said he was a largely discredited commentator on Middle Eastern issues

(chorus)
Dear Lord, have mercy on a moonSEAL girl!
Bipolar creation of different worlds
She don’t know if her enemy’s a Muslim or a Jew
She wants to read The Guardian and kill Osama too
(end chorus)

I voted Bush AND Kerry
And drink wheatgrass on the rocks
I bought my solar SUV
With Halliburton stocks

I support Kyoto
But I’d nuke Hiroshima
If you don’t like my attitude
Then blame my Ma and Pa

(chorus)
Dear Lord, have mercy on a moonSEAL girl!
Bipolar creation of different worlds
Half of her is communist and half of her is right
Checkin’ Instapundit every day and Daily Kos at night
(fade)

Posted by Tim B. on 03/07/2005 at 10:02 AM
    1. This is the most appropriate and best response I could think of:

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

      Hyggelig

      Posted by Hyggelig on 03/07 at 11:05 AM • #

 

    1. Well, it’s not a real country song, because it doesn’t mention divorce, alcohol, prison, railroads, hunting dogs, guns, cars, or death. But it’ll do.

      In fact, the song reminds me of a former classmate of my daugher’s. His mother was a moonbeam feminist and his father was a used-car salesman. How that pair got together is beyond me, and they didn’t stay together long; but the fruit of their brief union would spend weekdays with Mom and eat rice cakes, and weekends with dad and eat Twinkies. Most of the time didn’t know whether he was on foot or horseback.

      Posted by Urbs in Horto on 03/07 at 02:04 PM • #

 

    1. “Daddy said he was a largely discredited commentator on Middle Eastern issues” would be hard to sing with a twang.

      Should be, “that low-down dirty dog has been messing with me missus’head. I’m going get out my old 45 and send that bastard to hell; New York that is, condos, TV stars.”

      Posted by Darlene Taylor on 03/07 at 03:03 PM • #

 

    1. There is nothing worse than listening to an Australian trying to sing country.  If you ain’t from Kentucky, you can’t sing country.

      Tenneseee comes close.  West Virginia, not bad.  But Australia???

      Posted by wronwright on 03/07 at 04:06 PM • #

 

    1. Its not real country because it doesn’t mention Nashville

      Posted by Sheriff on 03/07 at 04:55 PM • #

 

    1. You know the joke – run a country song backward, and the car starts running, you get your job and wife back, and your dog comes back to life.

      I love the term “Internashville,” by the way.

      Posted by Nightfly on 03/07 at 06:47 PM • #

 

    1. Wronwright?  What about Keith Urban? Casey Chambers?  They are pretty good as far as Country singers go.

      Posted by jellis on 03/07 at 09:21 PM • #

 

    1. (to the tune of ‘Galveston’)
      Hall’burton oh Hall’burton,
      I am so afraid of dyin’,
      As I watch the dolphins fryin’,
      She was twenty-one, with shares in Hall’burton..

      c’mon, if you know the words, sing along!

      Or how about “Six days on the road, and I’m-a gonna run a checkpoint tonight”?

      Posted by cuckoo on 03/07 at 09:25 PM • #

 

  1. What about Keith Urban? Casey Chambers?  They are pretty good as far as Country singers go.

    If they ain’t from the Bluegrass State, they’re just pretending.  Although they do a right fine job of pretending, I don’t mind saying.

    Posted by wronwright on 03/07 at 10:40 PM • #