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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 03:45 am
Meet Glasgow airport baggage handler John Smeaton, whose cigarette break was interrupted by a jihadi Jeepster. He’s since become an internet phenomenon. More about Smeaton here, here, and here.
- “Glesca belangs tae me” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.Posted by watty on 2007 07 03 at 08:52 PM • permalink
- He’s a hoot, mon! Now news about this out here, the Media prefers sheep to sheepdogs.Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2007 07 03 at 09:06 PM • permalink
- Bravo Agent Smeaton! He’s a great interview, isn’t he?
Is a cameo on 24 in his future?
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 03 at 09:06 PM • permalink
- Should be “Nowt” eh?Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2007 07 03 at 09:06 PM • permalink
- See you, Mohammad! C’mere! Ahm gonna gee yeh a Glesga kiss.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 09:24 PM • permalink
Another said: “Smeats you are the greatest, right up their [sic] with the Proclaimers”. The Proclaimers are a Scottish rock band.
Candidate 3 for quote of the year “rock band” hahaha
from the first “here” link above.
Good on him – I love the line “we were all trying to get a boot in”
like football practice!
- I have composed a tribute song for the badly burnt doctor.
Farouk, Farouk, Farouk is on fire
Farouk, Farouk, Farouk is on fire
Farouk, Farouk, Farouk is on fire
We don’t need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burnPosted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 09:39 PM • permalink
- From my reading of war histories, esp WWI, “Scotland the Brave” appears not to be some slogan dreamt up by an advertising agency.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 09:40 PM • permalink
- I called it! He was all over the news on Saturday, and I was like, “YouTube phenom.”Posted by Jim Treacher on 2007 07 03 at 09:40 PM • permalink
- #11 A touching tribute.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 03 at 09:41 PM • permalink
- OT: BBC journalist Alan Johnstone has been released unharmed.
http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,20867,22016010-1702,00.html
- #5 Infidel Tiger
A headbutt. Within Glasgow itself the term ‘Gorbals kiss’ is often used, referring to the most dangerous area of Glasgow. It is hypothesised that within Gorbals it is known as a Crown Street kiss; and on Crown Street it is called a Number 73 kiss; and at Number 73 it is known as
SteveSmeaton’s kiss.SteveSmeaton, however, calls it whatever the fuck he wants to.The Urban Dictionary definition needed a little editing.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 03 at 09:51 PM • permalink
- Strange, he didn’t sound anything at all like Jim Broadbent playing Prince Albert.Posted by charles austin on 2007 07 03 at 10:01 PM • permalink
- A great story. Our Islamist brothers and others who seek to subdue us mistake our good manners and our tolerance of their foolishness as being weakness. Just as Hitler found when he thought he could defeat a ‘nation of shopkeepers’, the mussies are going to cop one hell of a beating when the Brits and the Aussies, like our US counterparts stand up and take firm action.
- #17 Junia
They finally paid the ransom, eh?
/cynic
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 03 at 10:02 PM • permalink
- I’m sure the famously nonchalant Gwynne Dyer would turn up his nose at such an extreme overreaction on the part of a member of the public. Assist a policeman!? Mon Dieu, how unsophisticated, intruding on a perfectly natural Eurojihadi tableau!Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 07 03 at 10:14 PM • permalink
- Ace has a funny take on the amazing “diversity” of these Muslim medicos.
Och, yoong Johnnie’s gaun to be ferr blootert from a’ the free drams; but he’s a gude lad, and has arned it.
- Give the guy a fucking medal.
If I’d known there were medals for such things, I’d have tried harder.
Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 03 at 10:22 PM • permalink
- I note that Gordon Brown has chosen a different approach – Don’t say terrorists are Muslims
And a big thanks to John Smeaton who embodies everything our politicians are not.
- There was a time, not so very long ago, when the actions of men such as Mr. Smeaton would not be at all outside the norm in similar circumstances.
The difference is that all those who did not step up to offend against such travesties, without needing to think about it or consider the act or actions, would have been slapped down by everyone around them until they either hanged themselves in shame or ran off to the local equivalent of our San Francisco to spend the rest of their lives wearing a skirt.
- Hey, Gordon Brown! How about a nice, big, piping hot cup of perspective?
It will be lads like him who stop “things” happening not the police. How sad. Give the guy a fucking medal.
Posted by haranton on 2007 07 04 at 11:46 AMmate, he saw a police officer struggling with the terrorist and went over to help. The police officer was there first. Please re-read the story. Also it was an extremely brave police officer in london who unplugged a mobile phone inside a smoking mercedes who stopped it from blowing up.
My brother is working in anti-terrorism and you do all such police officers a dis-service.
- Reading around the traps, it is said that the retread British Government under this decidedly un-Victorian Mr. Brown is determined to avoid using the words muslim or islam in the discussion of terrorism. The Strategy of Consensual Dissimulation is a disturbing foretaste of things to come.
Britain will need all the John Smeatons it can find, but they might be trumped by a failure of political will. That same shift in the direction of leadership post-Blair is also rumoured to be leading to a more pre-EU approach to treaties. Someone help me out here – does Britain have a half-viable opposition at present? If not, emigration is looking better every day.
- #32 darrinhV2
Apparently John Smeaton has been threatened with disciplinary action from his employers for talking to the media.
If true, that would be a public-relations blunder of monumental proportions.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 03 at 11:06 PM • permalink
- From ninemsn.com.au-are we allowed to ask if this man is a Presbyterian
Blood ‘caused hep C spread at clinic’
Wednesday Jul 4 11:39 AEST
At least three patients probably contracted hepatitis C because of inadequate infection control at an eastern Sydney GP’s clinic, an investigation has found.Health Minister Reba Meagher said NSW Health had now notified almost 2,000 patients who had attended Dr Daniel Hameiri’s Double Bay clinic and who could be at risk of the blood-borne virus.
They are being advised to be tested for hepatitis C as well as hepatitis B and HIV.
The investigation found the spread of the highly infectious virus, detected in three patients in March, had probably occurred as a result of “inadequate infection control practices” at the clinic.
The disease, for which there is no vaccine, can cause liver damage including cirrhosis and liver failure, over a period of many years.
All three female patients who contracted the disease had visited the clinic for vitamin or mineral injections.
“Although the risk is low we also want to encourage anyone else who has received injections at this clinic to contact their doctor,” Ms Meagher told reporters.
Director of Public Health for South Eastern Sydney and Illawarra Health Service, Professor Mark Ferson, said during the investigation 300 patients had already been notified to be tested.
Of those, 160 people had been tested with two further patients having been found to have contracted hepatitis C, however Prof Ferson said this may be a coincidence.
He said the disease could have been spread at the clinic as easily as a drop of infected blood being on a tourniquet, used to make a vein stand out when giving injections.
“That tourniquet might have a drop of blood from someone on it that was infected and then placed over the wound of the next person, that’s one of the theoretical possibilities,” he said.
Prof Ferson said Dr Hameiri had cooperated fully with the investigation and had closed his clinic for a period of time to upgrade his infection control procedures.
His clinic was also inspected prior to re-opening, with infection control knowledge and practice of clinic staff being found to be up to standard.
Director of communicable diseases for NSW Health, Dr Jeremy McAnulty, said GPs had been written to as part of the investigation reminding them of the high importance of infection control.
Dr McAnulty said Dr Hameiri had now been referred to the Medical Board and Health Care Complaints Commission, with a further determination to be made by those two bodies.
- #6
Now if only the man spoke English
It could be worse. I’ve noticed that when Scots get drunk they start speaking what appears to be an odd combination of Danish and Hungarian with every fourth word being “fuckin’”
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 07 04 at 12:27 AM • permalink
- OT Time to go the levies in your chevies folks – the music just diedPosted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 12:41 AM • permalink
- #46 Yakety sax would be an awesome funeral song.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 12:46 AM • permalink
- #45 – If Rudd gets elected, we’ll be like Casanova’s mistress – Well rooted.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 04 at 12:47 AM • permalink
- I’m confused. Why haven’t the police arrested Smeaton for assault?Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 12:51 AM • permalink
- #17 Junia
BBC journalist Alan Johnstone has been released unharmed.
So Farfour is killed off and less than a week later Johnstone is ‘released’…
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 01:10 AM • permalink
- OT but a laugh – A protestor wearing Speedos with Climate Change Ski Team written on his chest was heckling the PM in Bega today, shouting “No snow”. The bloke’s a total idiot – Brown Mountain, which is only 50km from Bega was covered in so much snow last week that the highway was closed for a day. If he wants to join a ski team he can drive 2 hours to Thredbo where there’s plenty of snow at the moment.
- OT again! The SMH has a photo of the doofus protester in his budgie smugglers. I have a tip for him: if protesting about goreball warming in your Speedos, don’t do it in the middle of winter when you will suffer from (ahem) shrinkage due to the cold.
- #46- Not to worry, a worthy replacement has been found; keep in mind though the numerous attrocities against humanity performed in the name of this prophet.
I’m confused. Why haven’t the police arrested Smeaton for assault?
…well, first they have to put the case before the Director of Public Prosecutions, so as to make the prosecution look apolitical. Then in the unlikely case the independent DPP says there is no case to answer, they simply find a way to overturn the “independent” DPP.
- At last soneone’s decided to make a balanced, culturally sensitive feature about the schism between the secular west and devout followers of a peaceful, inclusive religion.
- OT: it’s splitsville for Sir Salman. After all, Mrs. Rushdie is 36. I’m she he’s about to trade up to something younger.
- #58 – He was no longer able to sustain a fatwa without viagra.Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 07 04 at 02:06 AM • permalink
- #58 Jihad had enough of him, “I’ve hadith up to here”, Salman was told.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 02:17 AM • permalink
- #60 – a crackerPosted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 02:17 AM • permalink
- #58
it’s splitsville for Sir Salman. After all, Mrs. Rushdie is 36.
Frankly, Mrs. Rushdie still looks prime. I wouldn’t mind going into hiding with her.
The article says “…her desire to end their marriage”
Salman should be thankful for whatever he can get. He looks like a cross between Mr. Bean and Kermit the Frog.
Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2007 07 04 at 02:28 AM • permalink
- #64 Col. Milquetoast
The article says “…her desire to end their marriage”
Constant death threats might create that desire.
Salman should be thankful for whatever he can get. He looks like a cross between Mr. Bean and Kermit the Frog.
A very good description, I must say.
:^/
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 07 04 at 03:48 AM • permalink
- Goatbotherers—Away tae fuck, ya radge cunts.
John Smeaton should be on Gordon Brown’s Muslim advisory board rather than a bunch of taqiyya-spouting bacon-avoiders.
Al-Qaeda? “some common ideology”? disenfranchised Asians? No, they’re fucking Muslims you multicultural-morons! Listening to these so-called ‘experts’ is like wading through treacle.
Also, Rudd looked a bit queasy when he expressed his concern about the global jihad yesterday—maybe he just realised he’s playing with the big boys now.
Gordon Brown and the dhimmi Brit media are promoting racism when they refuse to call these cunts Muslims.
When the shit hits the fan and Anglo/Celts start fighting back, a lot of them will attack ‘Asians’—Hindus, Buddhists, Jains, Sikhs etc. They should, of course, attack Muslims—any race—as long as they’re Muslims.
Death to all fanatics!Formatting disaster fixed. The Management.
- #67
like wading through treacle
OT, but a bit of trivia I came across the other day: Boston molasses disaster.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 04:09 AM • permalink
- Saw the spastic in his DT’s doing the climate change thing. Reminded me of the time a young student jumped to his death in Adelaide when Elle McPherson was in town. The comparison being a waste of youth and how they think and act lost.
Talking of a waste of thinking and acting and going lost, the 7.30 Report tonight has Flummmery doing a spiel in defense of desalination.
It’s just about to start. If you’re doing nothing and want to hear Sir Tim O’I’msofullofit….
- Previous missive should have read ‘because’ Elle McPherson was in town.
In case you missed the 7.30 bit. Flannery said not much, a bit cliche, but an expat Irish scientist said that governments should be doing more to harvest rain and that the appeal of desalination plants to governments is based on extra revenue through higher water costs to the punters AND higher electricity usage in its production. Isn’t that a bit counter productive, contradictory, the pot calling the kettle black? And all of that in less than 5 minutes on OUR ABC. What value!!
- Oh No!
Somebody tipped over the bold jar!Dead thread.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 07 04 at 06:33 AM • permalink
- John acted in a way that we’d all like to think we would act in the same situation.
Too true.
I’ve just Paypaled for pint number 1,036.
“Hangover? What fookin’ hangover?”
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 07 04 at 07:02 AM • permalink
- #35 Tough people, the Scots especially those from Glasgow.
They can have short fuses too. During the years I spent in the UK I remember there was a soccer final being played in London between some English team & (IIRC) the Glasgow Rangers. The word was out that it would be best if you didn’t hang around Soho late at night because of the Scottish gangs prowlling around looking for some biffo.
Some Trivia :- At one time Glasgow had the highest number of building fires per capita in the world. Something to do with the many old homes & poorly maintained heating systems.
- About Media Watch, I wonder if Antoinette Chiha is still consorting with MV’s Ahmed Kilani?Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 08:12 AM • permalink
- #86.
Bravehearts are much better people for being in charge of countries. Sadly, the Isles aren’t far from being Islamic.
Actually, Muslims are only 2.97% of the population of England. Strange then that you should be so concerned. What is it about Christianity that you think so inferior..?
- I wonder,…would the praises have been sung of this airport worker if the attack had taken place in Dublin or Belfast? Surely those of you old enough to remember would have been cursing the ‘damn Irish’ and bemoaning the imminent ‘Catholicisation’ of the UK.
And fair enough too! The Christian based armies of Ireland have killed far more Britons than Islamist’s have.
- #99 Wait a sec, another troll who can’t understand the quote function. Is Huckabee back?Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 08:31 AM • permalink
- Ash, don’t bother with this gerbil.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 08:37 AM • permalink
Then why just is it that the Uk is in imminent ‘danger’ of becoming Muslim?
Because the UK has weak leaders and a weak immigration policy. And most Islamic countries are so great that people keep on migrating out of them, into Western cultures.
Which is pretty stupid, considering they hate Western cultures.
- OT Speedos protestor charged with assault. Haha.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 08:43 AM • permalink
- DoubleD is Huckabee, who has been banned before and will be banned again. Compare writing styles, smart-arse attitude and bbcode ineptness if you can be bothered. Don’t waste your time.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 08:52 AM • permalink
- #105 DoubleD.
What percentile of the media or political coverage is devoted to the muslim 2.7% being outraged about bullshit?
‘little Haifa bint al Fazeez wants to wear her burka to school, but bastard us won’t let her’ etc?
If they are such a small percentage of the populous, why do we have to change so much of our normal day to day activities (ie: celebration of Christmas in our schools) for them?
I say FOAA (F*ck Off And Assimilate).
Of course, I must be a racist for saying it, about a religion whose adherents say is not about race.
I dare you to go to Saudi or Gaza and tell people you are a Christian, and proud to be so.
Hint: you might get disdain, or dismembered.
Oh, and yes, I have wasted enough of my life there to have done it myself.
- Just an update on the lint collection, folks. The pink lint beanbag is near full and will soon be going on ebay.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 08:59 AM • permalink
- I believe this will be the first beanbag full of pink lint to be offered in the southern hemisphere.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:02 AM • permalink
- #115, From what I can decipher of what you said then yes, you are a bigot! And probably a racist too.
But enough from me, how about some words from Reverend Riah Abu el-Assal, Anglican Bishop of Jerusalem: “Well if the State of Palestine is declared and recognised by the international community the way they recognised Israel, tens of thousands of Christians will come back.”
But back to you…
why do we have to change so much of our normal day to day activities (ie: celebration of Christmas in our schools) for them?
Does Xmas happen everyday for you? Hmmm…
- Christmas can come every day for the committed lint collector. The sky is the limit for this rare pink lint beanbag, let me tell you.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:05 AM • permalink
- Yep, we all roll over for the Joos!
Honest, all of our senior officers are freakin’ Zionist sympathisers, honest.
Every time some ‘splodeydope does himself in trying to kill us, my boss always throws his hands in the air and says ‘Oy Vey’
I don’t know about our promotions being tied to Bar Mitzvahs?
I just change the tyres on the black helicopters for the VRWC mate, one day I will make minion and let you know.
- #117 185600
Double D, you really are a tit.
Perhaps that’s why I’m tempted to play with him. boom boom!
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 09:10 AM • permalink
- I think the red t-shirt thing is not a secret for pink lint production – but what separates the serious lint collector and the amateur is maintenance. Leave ‘em without maintenance and they just go all crusty and crumble at the touch.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:10 AM • permalink
- #126 MM Yeech! You could have warned us.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 09:11 AM • permalink
- #125.
just change the tyres on the black helicopters for the VRWC mate, one day I will make minion and let you know.
Sorry champ, Black Helicopters and all are your side of politics, with like, Timothy McVeigh and all…
Anyhoo, you raise an interesting point…and I’d like to share how it makes me chuckle now and then, thinking of all those Christian fundie Republicans gritting their teeth and being all friendly like with the Jews that they can’t stand… 🙂
- #121 Ash_
Yep, know them, worked alongside, and spent a couple of years of my life there, unlike some others (Titboy, for example).
Would that be the same Reverend Riah Abu el-Assal, Anglican Bishop of Jerusalem who allowed several (oops, M word again) muslims! To use his church as cover during a confrontation (read sniping attack) with the IDF a few years ago? I think the answer is yes.
Go and troll somewhere else, and dream of a pair of real Double Ds, mate, I have fought with, or against people of this so called ‘faith’ for a long time, when were you in the middle east, exactly?
Oops, never been?
Go, I implore you.
Oh, and I didn’t say ‘bigot’ I said ‘racist’.
Well, spankstain?
By the way, it’s Christmas, not ‘Xmas’ and that’s not a religous thing, that’s a grammatical thing.
But for your information, it’s Christmas with bells on every day that I wake up!
But hey, I’m an optimist.
You need to speak to Grimmy about the dark side.
As for Ash_ calling friends, well, you probably don’t have many, but us racist redneck h8ters tend to stick together.
Now please, FOAD, or just leave, whichever leaves less mess on the floor.
- I am often complimented, or at least – the few visitors that I have got into my basement, comment on how fluffy and fresh my specimens are.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:19 AM • permalink
- I’m not going to say too much – you think I want to give all my secrets away? – but let me just offer two words of encouragement to any budding young lint collectors out there: fabric softener.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:22 AM • permalink
- #131.
Oh, and I didn’t say ‘bigot’ I said ‘racist’.
Given that the majority of Muslims in the West are not Anglo’s then yeah asswipe, you’re right, you are a racist.
By the way, it’s Christmas, not ‘Xmas’ and that’s not a religous thing, that’s a grammatical thing.
Uh huh, yeah, sure…
As for Ash_ calling friends, well, you probably don’t have many
You’re so mean! 🙁
but us racist redneck h8ters tend to stick together.
But at least in the end you ‘fessed up to being a racist…
- No cheating BTW – does anyone seriously think that long term navel collectors don’t know drier lint when they see it? Give me a break.Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:26 AM • permalink
- Oh yes, Titboy, gave it away mate, you really have a big ol’ wide on for Islam, don’t you?
Come on, give me an argument, not a ‘Christian Fundies are evil, they hate the Joos!’
I’ve met some of both stripes I didn’t agree with, but at least I have been there.
When were you there again(stop dodging, oh, and I shook someone from Lakemba Mosque’s hand doesn’t count as experience of the middle east).
You can’t, because John HoWARD won’t let you?
No, because you are gutless, and can only use the anonomous internet to tell people how right you are. Try using your actions mate.
Liberating, believe me.
- Good site here.
Hey night night, two dicks – I guess life never gets boring, huh.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 07 04 at 09:30 AM • permalink
- Smeaton is an exception for airport staff. My brother, who recently returned from a trip to the UK, couldn’t help but notice that a significant proportion of the Heathrow baggage checking staff were women in burqas. Of course one hopes they are fakes planted there by MI5, but somehow I doubt it. Dracula is well and truly in charge of the blood bank in Britain. I can’t help wondering if the increase in Anglo-Cletic UK expats I’ve been noticing in Eastern Sydney over the last few years is at all connected.Posted by Jim Geones on 2007 07 04 at 09:33 AM • permalink
- #136 Titboy,
Givin’ it away again, you have to not let emotion control you sonny.
I know, you hate the thought of someone calling you ‘sonny’.
That’s why I did it.
Now, homework: Define ‘Racism’
You pathetic little tool, can’t tell me when you were in the Middle East?
You truly don’t deserve ‘Double D’ as a moniker, mate, at least they are interesting.
I hearby knight you ‘Spank Stain’
Yes, a waste.
Just like you. 🙂
Now, please, FOAD.
- #146 I got a couple of hours in, 185600, then the most evil and unholy cat in the world jumped up onto my pillow, meowed until I woke up, turned around and farted in my face, and then took off at full speed and hid somewhere for a couple of hours.
I’m sure looking stern works far better at work than here.
- #147 When my gf’s dog farts he runs away and then looks at his rear in a confused fashion. Hilarious.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 09:45 AM • permalink
- #145 Ash_
Because their contempt for religion would make them ‘Racists’ if they did that mate.
This way they can say that all adherents of Islam (or any other religion they chose, including Seventh Day Adventists, for example) are being racially vilified, profiled, etd.
Since I have a mate who is 6’6 and a muslim, of Irish / Anglo backround, and was a publicity officer for his mosque in Darwin, I feel that I am a bigot, not a racist, when I argue with him about the practicies of our religions. -)Guess Ol’ Titboy can’t read a dictionary.
Should probably spend more time with real ones, instead of being one.PS, Hope alls well with you and my future legal defence?
- Why bother with that twit? Watching, say, Jackie Chan go against Benny Urquidez can be entertaining, watching him go up against a 12 year old is just…embarassing.Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 04 at 09:48 AM • permalink
- Also embarassing is failure to link properly.Posted by dean martin on 2007 07 04 at 09:50 AM • permalink
- #150 That’s true. The idiots do like their pet causes, and really hate it when their causes are challenged by those who are actually in that situation, like the criticisms levelled at Noel Pearson.
Everything is well with me today. Your future legal defence is currently beating me up. I’m not sure whether she’s trying to play soccer with no soccer ball, or whether she’s trying to give me internal bleeding.
How are you and the fiancee?
- #147 Ash_
Cats are evil mate, my dog told me (no, no ‘son of sam’ moments here, she just has a personality).
Believe me, when you have forgotten to shut the door, and 40 Kilos of Alaskan Malamute is trying to wake you by jumping in your lap, you know about it. 🙂
But hey, she’s daddy’s girl, and has been for a long time.
- #154 The cat is truly evil 185600.
I can well imagine what it feels like when your dog suddenly lands in your lap.
Jesse’s dog used to sneak into the room, get up as close to my ear as possible, then bark. I, of course, would nearly have a heart attack and promptly yell at Jesse “Why didn’t you put that bloody mongrel outside like I bloody told you to?!”
- #153 Ash_
Well, she’s working, and I have to work tomorrow, but it will be a mostly indoors day, meetings and conferences (why I ever let myself get promoted I don’t know)
Still, might make it out for a pistol shoot in the arvo, I haven’t shot for a month, and need to.
Otherwise, same Ol’ same Ol’.
Still haven’t found the ‘J’ person, not on any military net, anyway. Sorry mate, he probably wasn’t military at all.
But hey, at least you have me, certain to give your little kidney kicker a client sometime in the future. 🙂
- #156 Meetings and conferences? You aren’t the poor, innocent person replacing me at my work are you? My boss sometimes schedule meetings simply with the aim of annoying me. Granted, I probably deserve it.
I didn’t think he’d be on any network, because I don’t reckon he ever enlisted. I’m sure pissed off with him though.
The little animal will have the best education money can buy, simply so she’s able to defend you and your mates to the highest standard. You guys certainly deserve it.
- Ta Ash_
But all most of us want is the normal life everyone else has. And when I retire, I promise there won’t be a single landmine within our family perimeter.
Look mate, I signed up at eighteen, after never been further south than Townsville, and have seen and done things that would blow some people away, but all I want is to live my life happy and free.
Unfortunately I met Dirty Harriet.
There goes freedom.
I am proud of my trade, and my past, not too many skeletons in my closet. And the thing that gets all of us going is the thought that our own people support us, some of them at least (before my last deployment, one of Spankstain’s fellow travellers sent me an email saying he hoped I died in Iraq).
So ta,
But look after yourself and the little one, and don’t worry about us.
When you need us, we will be there, from my side, I promise.
- When you make it to Melbourne 185600, you’re definitely staying at my place. And I’ll provide the booze.
I’m proud of Australia’s military, and definitely support all of you. People like Spank Stain and his mates don’t truly realise how good they have it here, and certainly don’t realise that it’s because of guys like you that they do have it good here. Spank Stain can go fuck himself.
I’ll look after myself and Ember, but I always know that I couldn’t do that if it wasn’t for the guys who are truly protecting us.
- #159 Ash_
Deal!
But I will raise you a picnic once the little one is mobile? I have to go to Melb occasionally, so it would be no problem for a bit of a picnic? Do they still do Shakespeare in the park in the city?
I used to love going to that?
Yes, even alone, it is still pretty good, although my favourite play is ‘Much ado about nothing’.
- #160 Consider it done!
The area I live in is actually the start of the Dandenong Ranges, so there are amazing parks and such around here, so we can definitely do a picnic.
I don’t know if they still do Shakespeare in the park in the city, because I never knew they did it until your post.
Much Ado About Nothing is an awesome play.
- Normally they do it in spring, or summer, but the best part is the location, although you have a lot of soapie actors doing it?
I love that play, I was always wanting to be Benedict, Dirty Harriet hates Shakespeare, funny person to pick for my Beatrice.
I loved the 90’s version with Emma Thopson and Kenneth Brannagh.
Still have the paper playbook though.
Hard bastard aren’t I?
- I should certainly find out. Is it in the Botanical Gardens?
Benedict was a very cool character. Shakespeare was a great writer. As for Dirty Harriet’s dislike, I’m pretty sure it was scribed by someone that opposites attract.
I haven’t seen the version with Emma Thompson and Kenneth Brannagh yet, though I need to. I have a lot to watch and read in the next two months.
Still busy laughing at “Hard bastard aren’t I?”. It’s the hardest guys who are usually the softest too.
- Why do I get the feeling that we both cry at the same movies then, 185600? Denzel Washington is a fantastic actor.
Oh man, you’d laugh so hard you’d cry at the story of when I met a snake. In fact, I have a version of that tale already typed up if you’re interested. It was put on a mate’s private blog.
Being the smallest, shortest, and skinniest wouldn’t always be bad, I imagine. In fact, I can think of situations where it would be useful.
- #165
being the smallest guy on selection
…you have the most advantageous centre of gravity.
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 11:45 AM • permalink
- I would love to hear about the snake?
One of my earliest memories is my dad killing a king brown with his bare hands, just like you or I flushing a toilet. Just grabbed it and threw it against a rock. Tough old bastard, dad.
I try not to cry too often, but yes, it does happen, mostly in laughter. Cause, I don’t have emotions, just ask people like Spank Stain.
Yep, being me does work a lot of the time, the worst part is that my two best mates are:
6’4 120 Kg, same rank, tough as a coffin nail. 5’10 85Kg, colder than a coffin nail.
Me: 5’8’ 75 Kg, (apparently) the guy who put the guy in the coffin
But the both reckon I am a softie?
- #168 Your mate at 6’4 and 120kg has a BMI of 32.2, obese. Glad to see the ADF is more sensible these days. I applied for the Army Reserve in 1998 (I withdrew the application for various personal reasons) and my BMI was almost an issue, yet I had about 10% body fat at the time.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 11:59 AM • permalink
- Bloody hell, #168, here I was, just about to wander to bed, and you ask me to humiliate myself about a snake.
…
Ok, I’ll do it.
Bear in mind, it was written like this for a mate’s blog.
Now, this tale takes place in a very nice place up in Cairns. I thought it was Brisbane, but Jesse reassures me it was Cairns.
This would have been about 4 years ago. We were visiting some of Jesse’s friends, Cara and Max. One day, Max went to work and left all of us at his place with his dog and their two kids. The kids and the dog were out in the backyard, which looks just like this: Insert picture of beautiful rainforest
Beautiful place. And lots of critters. I was in the bedroom getting dressed, and I look up and scream, because there’s this giant gecko watching me get dressed. So I run out of the room half dressed, and run into the kitchen. I’m gibbering and telling Jesse there’s a nasty animal in the bedroom, and so he thinks I mean a snake. So he grabs the nearest item, which happened to be a meat mallet, and then went into the bedroom to engage in mortal combat.
I hear this burst of laughter, which was quickly stifled, and about five minutes later Jesse comes out of the bedroom with a red face, and the prick has pulled the gecko off the ceiling and has it in his hand. He reaches out, and offers me the chance to pat it. I tell him where to go, and he releases it outside.
Later on, I’d calmed down a lot and we went outside with the kids and the dog to have lunch. It was bloody hot, so we were eating sandwiches. I got up to put my plate in the kitchen, when I saw the biggest, scariest snake ever. [Note: it was no bigger than 1 foot]
So, again, I scream, and I climb up on the table to get away from the vicious, nasty reptile. As do Cara and the kids. Jesse’s just looking at us, evaluating the best way to handle four screaming women and one giant snake.
There’s a shovel next to the glass door, and so Jesse picks it up and is going to kill the snake. He misses on his first swing, and hits the bloody dumbshit dog instead. The dog doesn’t like the force of a shovel hitting it on the back, so it takes off and runs straight into the glass door, breaking it. The snake meanwhile slithers straight up the legs of the barbeque and hides inside it.
Jesse is swearing like a sailor over the broken door, but there’s no way he’s getting me off the table. So he starts delicately disassembling the barbeque (I would have just lit it, that’ll get a snake out in a hurry), looking for it. The snake drops out from under the gas valve, and falls onto the glass tray underneath the barbeque. Jesse is sick of this bloody snake, and so he swings the shovel and cuts the snake in half. And shatters the glass tray.
At this point, Cara is going nuts that Max is going to kill Jesse for breaking his brand new $1000 barbeque. So that afternoon, we go out to every barbeque shop in Cairns looking for a new tray, which of course, we can’t find.
When we get home, Max is already there but he hasn’t been out the back or in the kitchen. So Cara confesses the entire tale while Jesse and I are sitting there pissing ourselves laughing. Max just shrugs, says, “It happens, you’re safe, so that’s cool.” Cara looked dead set like she wanted to kill him.
She turns a nice shade of red and goes “If it’d been me that broke your bloody barbeque, you’d bloody divorce me!”
- #170
She turns a nice shade of red and goes “If it’d been me that broke your bloody barbeque, you’d bloody divorce me!
It’s not all one way. If Jesse farted in Max’s bed, for example…
Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 07 04 at 12:08 PM • permalink
- My cat Potluck, aka the Hairy Orange Idjit, normally a placid beast of portly inertia, will periodically dash leap onto my bed, frenziedly claw the covers into a tangle in the center of the mattress, look around wildly for a moment, and then dash out of the room again.Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 07 04 at 12:39 PM • permalink
- I’ve fixed the formatting problem, and banned DoubleD. It didn’t seem fair to ban other trolls and let him play. Besides, his email (o so clever!) was “davidduked@gmail.com,” do obviously he was just here to troll. Now he’ll have to wank unheard.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 07 04 at 12:44 PM • permalink
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