Column triplets

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Last updated on August 8th, 2017 at 05:36 pm

new column at the Daily Telegraph. Please also enjoy columns from cycle-loathing Anita Quigley and ex-afflicted Joe Hildebrand.

UPDATE. The Daily Telegraph—your home of Australian intellectualism!

UPDATE II. More on Sydney’s selfish cycle people.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/24/2006 at 11:24 AM
    1. “The nuclear option will always be dangerous to humanity and to the environment because radioactivity infuses the cellular structure of life….”

      Yeah, destroying our precious bodily fluids.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 24 at 11:32 AM • permalink


    1. Re. Ms Quiqley’s column, I’ve almost been hit as a pedestrian by a car once and almost been hit by cyclists three times—two of which were running red lights were I had the “green light” right-of-way. (BTW, shouldn’t a Hyde Park in Australia be called Hyde Park South?)

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 24 at 11:40 AM • permalink


    1. OK, bear with me here, its late on friday, and most of the following information was gathered when I was back at high school some 8 years back:

      For nuclear energy opponents, the Chernobyl meltdown is an argument ender – who could possibly argue that nuclear energy is safe following the radiation-caused deaths of so many people? – Tim B, Daily Tele, link above.

      Chernobyl went off due to a clusterfuck on behalf of its management and operations.  Despite this fact it would not have gone off if reactor #4 (thats right folks, only 25% of its power generation actually blew) had been designed to western standards.  The rest of the plant continued to produce safe greenhouse gas freepower until december 2000.

      I wont go into the fine detail of said reactor design here for the sake of succinctness, lets just say it was poorly designed, and that did contribute (in an admittedly very small way) to said explosion.

      The point being, if you let a bunch of electrical technicians play with a nuclear reactor without any supervision from a nuclear technician, your shit may probably will go very bad in a huge, multinational way.

      The numbers killed dont really bear mentioning here as even the notoriously left leaning EU cannot agree on the numbers of folks that have died from said Soviet fuckup.

      Now I’m not going to dispute that the rate of cancer, thyroid especially, has gone through the roof in most of Ukranie, but do your homework, radiation kills.  Thats why we poor mildly unlucky Aussies have to be very wary of the Sun.  Its called the ‘Ozone Hole’ (if you live here, you know why I dont care a whole lot).  Apparently its mostly the Europeans fault.  Anyone have numbers to prove it was the Americans?  (I know I shouldn’t bait the trolls, but its always daylight somewhere…)

      Radioactive waste! Whatever will we do with it? The same as clean coal proponents propose to do with carbon dioxide produced during the coal-cleaning process – bury it deep underground.

      Australia has any number of suitable locations for this, mostly known as “Australia”.

      You’d think that in 500 years time we wont be smart enough to find a way to use “radioactive waste” to power the first ship to Alpha Centauri.  Its 4.4 light years away (25.8 million miles for the Seppo’s), you seriously trying to tell me we can get there with chemical rockets?

      Well I have a bridge in Sydney I’d like to sell you then.  (No, not you Wron, I’m aware you already have a multi million year lease on said icon…)

      Even if we still have not departed this solar system in 500 years time, I’m certain we will be able to harness the heat energy generated, in much the same way as geothermal (its undergroung hotness aint it?).  Therefore, even the leftovers can power the lavish lifestyle I hope, and believe, my decendants shall enjoy.

      You tree huggin’ biatches.
      Peace out.


      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 12:11 PM • permalink


    1. Re: Joe Hildebrand’s column;


      It’s funny because it’s true – Homer J. Simpson

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 12:17 PM • permalink


    1. How many people have died in natural gas explosions and coal-mining accidents compared to those killed by nuke power?

      Ah, forget it. Logic has nothing to do with it (never does when you’re talking to lefties, does it?)

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 24 at 12:33 PM • permalink


    1. All these subjects are very close to my heart… well, all except maybe the gay issue and trying to find a girlfriend.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 24 at 12:46 PM • permalink


    1. Australia would be stupid to use nuclear power, sure there’s lots of Uranium in the ground but there’s also a lot of coal. And coal is cheaper to generate electricity from. Yeah, yeah global warming – even if that was a problem Australia doesn’t contribute a drop in the ocean.

      Posted by sam on 2006 11 24 at 01:08 PM • permalink


    1. #6, RBec, Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more…

      #7, Sam, Well yes, untill we have to start ‘carbon trading’.  The Greenies have dropped their pants and bent themselves over the prison bench with that brainfade…

      Why do I get the feeling all these treehuggin types were doing ‘arts’ while I was doing Physics?

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 01:23 PM • permalink


    1. The ‘Blair Institute’ ? I was curious and Googled for it. Nearest result was the Blair Research Institute…

      Ministry of Health and Child Welfare. A Centre for Promoting Health Development in Zimbabwe through Scientific Research.

      Incorporating Blair Research Laboratory (Harare) and De Beers Research Laboratory (Chiredzi)

      Sounds decidedly dodgy. Speaking of which, how about the Terror’s website ? Otherwise good post Tim and great to have you back in print.

      Posted by JAFA on 2006 11 24 at 02:24 PM • permalink


    1. In this age of socially self-aware preachers running rampant, having a car-driving one call motorcycling ones selfish twats because of the inconvenient time and place of their protest is amusing.

      Posted by Dusty on 2006 11 24 at 02:40 PM • permalink


    1. Curious, though, what insult is offered by Quiley identifying them as “inner-city”.  Here in the US, that would guarantee a Michael Richards comparison and the administration of lots of digital lashing, so it must have a much different connotation.

      And isn’t there an Australianism for this?  “Inner-city” sounds soooo not Australian and can’t possibly have been overlooked until now.

      Posted by Dusty on 2006 11 24 at 02:54 PM • permalink


    1. Dusty – she was referring to pain in the ass bicycle riders, not motorcyclists. we have these Critical Mass people in NYC. Their protest is to block traffic. They suck.

      Posted by Latino on 2006 11 24 at 03:31 PM • permalink


    1. Yeah, we’ve got these Critical Massholes in Portland, too. Their strategy for getting car drivers to respect bicyclists’ use of the road is to piss the f*** out of car drivers. Brilliant.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 24 at 03:40 PM • permalink


    1. What do the French do with their nuclear waste?

      Nuclear waste is not a real problem. I have several other articles on disposal means and methods but am too fed up with the ignorant and duplicitous left to look them up again.

      And then there is the “compared to what” factor.

      Posted by Franklin on 2006 11 24 at 03:43 PM • permalink


    1. Joe Hildebrand is not ex-afflicted.
      As his friend Darren tells me constantly, Joe is totally afflicted, all of the time.

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 11 24 at 04:20 PM • permalink


    1. Did you have to mention Bob Brown?
      He already gets way more attention than he should, given the size of his …er, mandate.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2006 11 24 at 04:32 PM • permalink


    1. Critical Mass… another reason why I’m glad for moving away from Sydney.

      I used to imagine someone with a hummer driving over those idiots, turning them into a paste.

      Posted by der FRED on 2006 11 24 at 04:50 PM • permalink


    1. Live and learn.  Thanks for cluing me in.

      Boy, it’s nice to live in a place where these people are a rarety.

      Posted by Dusty on 2006 11 24 at 05:11 PM • permalink


    1. More dangerous than nuclear? Edible undies and the invention, and HIV.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 11 24 at 05:15 PM • permalink


    1. The cellular structure of life?  What about those of us who are still on old-fashioned phones?  Like the cockroach, are we too primitive and sturdy to kill?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 24 at 05:34 PM • permalink


    1. Nuclear power is inevitable, omce the chardonnay socialists wake up one day and find they cannot put ona DVD because there is a brown out.

      Does anybody else think that it’s funny that we call a temporary drop in electricity a “Brown out”

      (a blackout is a complete loss of electricity, whereas a brown out is an unexpected drain on the electricity system, causing lights to flicker etc)

      Posted by wanglese on 2006 11 24 at 05:50 PM • permalink


    1. #11 And isn’t there an Australianism for this?  “Inner-city” sounds soooo not Australian and can’t possibly have been overlooked until now.

      Dusty, “inner city” has the opposite connotation in Australia as it does in America.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 24 at 05:55 PM • permalink


    1. I’m a keen commutting cyclist and I
      a) obey road rules (all of them).
      b) think critical mass are a bunch of twats.

      Fortunately, I drove into work Friday and didn’t have to watch out for a bunch of pissed-off motorists in Sydney. I hope they’ve all forgotten by Monday morning.

      Posted by duncanm on 2006 11 24 at 06:26 PM • permalink


    1. #2 AndyCannuck.  No, the style would be: New Hyde Park, as in New South Wales (South Wales being the name in Britain), New Zealand, New England, New Hebrides, ….

      The Brits and their home sickness.  Where I live in Australia (in Newcastle (sic)) there are road intersections with signposts pointing to several small local towns and typically every one of the names is also the name of an English town.

      Posted by Brett_McS on 2006 11 24 at 06:58 PM • permalink


    1. The lycra-clad members of Critical Mass are probably the only ones who are sticking to message.  The events are largely taken over by ratbags whose aim is to cause disruption.  They couldn’t give a shit about bicycles as transport.

      Anyway, didn’t Miranda Devine write a Critical Mass article a few weeks ago?  How about something new in the newspaper?

      Posted by anthony_r on 2006 11 24 at 07:05 PM • permalink


    1. yo victorian blairites


      Posted by KK on 2006 11 24 at 07:16 PM • permalink


    1. Inner city.

      See, back in the 1800s, and despite the great quantity of unbuilt on land in Australia, the Victorian types (era, not state) built a whole lot of terrace houses – some rather grand and lavishly decorated, some your cheap two up, two downer of the soon-to-be-hovel variety.  They were where the inner city is these days because in those days that was pretty much all the city there was.

      Then, back in the 1960s, a whole lot of people with, I suspect, a yen to believe that there really are fairies in the bottom of the garden, got all romantic about these decrepit terrace houses in a, “let’s play dressing up and pretend we are lords and ladies, or maybe Oscar Wilde,” sort of way but rather than whack on the bustles and top hats themselves they did it to the houses, metaphorically speaking.

      Thus began the process now known as ‘gentrification’ in which people with more money than sense bought some warbledy, cockroach infested place with rotten floorboards, bad to non-existent wiring and plumbing and no garage and tried to turn it into their fantasy home complete with Tiffany style lamps, Aubrey Beardsley prints, velvet curtains with tassels, brocaded wall paper and so on and so forth.  (Of course these days the de rigeur styles are different but it’s still all about style and life style and the dark stuff from which those dreams are born.)

      Before too long the price of said run-down terraces had skyrocketed and the poor people who were lucky enough to own their pile of mouldering accommodation took the money and went west, to the suburbs.  Probably got themselves a nice new Jennings project home with a garage, indoor dunny, laminex benchtops in the kitchen and both back and front yards.

      Well, that’s how I remember it.

      Posted by Janice on 2006 11 24 at 08:01 PM • permalink


    1. Oh, and thanks Tim for your column.  Very funny.

      Posted by Janice on 2006 11 24 at 08:15 PM • permalink


    1. Do you think the column was too witty for the Tele? In some respects, a column like that deserves to be at Fairfax, producing some steam.

      By the way, how come Gaia’s groupies are never complaining about the poisonous gas created by the thousands of cars burnt across France?

      Posted by Nic on 2006 11 24 at 08:26 PM • permalink


    1. “because radioactivity infuses the cellular structure of life….”

      This is written by a non-cognoscenti idiot.

      Most people don’t real;ise that most forms of “radiation” do not penetrate our skin and cause no problems. It’s when it is ingested somehow, or a large does of gamma rays, that it is leathal.

      Also, radiation infuses the entire universe!! If it wasn’t for radioactive decay, the earth would be a lot colder than it is.

      Once again, we see the ecomentalists as being on the side of global coolering.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 24 at 08:29 PM • permalink


    1. hey, perhaps the Daily Telegraph is the Oz paper to read.

      BTW Please, given the first two days of the Ashes, no references to cricket …8^)

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 24 at 08:30 PM • permalink


    1. #3 Wizard_of_Woz, the so-called “ozone hole” has been there as long as there has been observations of the ozone.

      It quite clearly is a natural phenomenon which varies with seasons and electromagnetic interactions between the earth’s magnetic field and the solar wind.

      I’m surprised ecomentalists aren’t complaing about the hol;es in the Van Allen belts.

      Other than that, I agree with you.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 24 at 08:35 PM • permalink


    1. O/T What are the chances of getting into an afternoon of the Ashes at Sydney?

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 24 at 08:36 PM • permalink


    1. #33 You maybe lucky on the last day if the match is heading for a draw…

      Posted by anthony_r on 2006 11 24 at 08:43 PM • permalink


    1. NUCLEAR power is safe and clean. A minimum of research is required to establish this.

      One need only examine the record of 400 or so nuclear power plants safely delivering energy worldwide, some of them for decades. – Tim Blair

      And yet for over 30 years the left worked hard to demonize nuclear power.  Remember China Syndrome?  And now they say we need a clean way to produce electricity without producing CO2.  Idiots!

      I long ago stopped listening to the short-sighted Chicken Little screams of the left.  With them lie no answers to any serious problems.  Only vitriol.

      Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 24 at 09:05 PM • permalink


    1. Completely O/T but I found this via John Ray and it’s a purely fascinating piece on, of all things, demographic decline in Iran!  Who’da thought it!  Go read.

      Jihadis and whores

      A snippet:

      Nothing is more threadbare than the claim of Islamists to defend Muslim womanhood. Islamist radicals (like the penny-a-marriage mullahs of Iran) are the world’s most prolific pimps.

      Posted by Janice on 2006 11 24 at 09:45 PM • permalink


    1. “O/T What are the chances of getting into an afternoon of the Ashes at Sydney?” -#33

      Excellent. You will need a 12 gauge shotgun and a ski mask, however.

      Seriously, if you turn up at the ground after the lunch break and have a chat with the ground staff, you may be lucky enough to pick up a cancellation. Bribery is helpful.
      Ashes matches are usually fully sold out for the first three days, so you may be able to get a legitimate ticket for day 4 or 5.
      A plaintively worded sign outside the ground begging for a spare ticket has been known to yield good results.

      Best of luck in your noble quest, Wimpy.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2006 11 24 at 09:47 PM • permalink


    1. Joe is very funny. I like his columns, very much, no worries. It’d be nice if they had a similar column in the HS, but, nope.

      Mmmm, I’m a Victorianite, via Queensland of course, and I’ve voted today. Indeed, I’m handing out how-to-votes later on. How presuming-like to assume that readers of this site all vote the one way. How boring it is when people all agree.

      Sorry, KK (mmm, one more K and…well), but I’ve done the deed. I don’t think the people lined up to vote this morning in the inner-city electorate where I live were voting Liberal. On what basis do you think the Victorian Liberals have earned our vote?

      Here’s my prediction of who will win. Since I’ve studied politics, I’m going to be totally wrong, of course.

      Posted by abcd on 2006 11 24 at 09:58 PM • permalink


    1. Janice
      Interesting article, thanks.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2006 11 24 at 10:29 PM • permalink


    1. #32, I will concede in the cold sober light of day that the Ozone hole was a poor example.

      #33 & #37, While the 12 gauge will get you in, I believe that your chances of staying to actually watch the cricket will be greatly improved by handing over a fat sack of cash to someone with a spare ticket.

      Just make sure to bring a lot, supply and demand being where it is at the moment…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 24 at 10:57 PM • permalink


    1. So reassuring to read Tim’s column and find his wit running free and unfettered.

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 11 24 at 11:44 PM • permalink


    1. Great to have you back Tim (writing columns that is).

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2006 11 25 at 01:00 AM • permalink


    1. I bought a real-live copy of the Telegraph today, printed on dead tree.

      As well as a headshot of Tim, and a couple of other columns missing in the online version, they printed the mobile number of the organiser of Critical Mass ‘protest’ as a payback.


      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 11 25 at 01:32 AM • permalink


    1. Being a Tele reader from way back it’s great to see Tim’s page

      Saturday’s Tele has needed this opinion page for a long time

      As for the SMH – Saturday is exclusively for the Bush and Howard haters/neocons are rooning everything/suburban aspirationals are illiterate/ journos

      No room there for Tim

      Posted by aussiemagpie on 2006 11 25 at 02:30 AM • permalink


    1. Jaysus, Tim, get with the News Ltd group think.

      Actually, congratulations on your first column, which I expect will deliver a bounteous harvest of emails from complete fuckwits that you may be able to onsell to marketing types who understand the value of the CF demographic.

      Although it is not a power plant, I fully recommend to Tim or any other Sydneysiders a tour of Lucas Heightswhere you can get a genuinely radical perspective of the nuclear debate, known as physics.

      For example, my favourite factoids:

      * Many foods are fairly high in radioactive elements – brazil nuts, potatoes, bananas

      * Partly because of this, people contain radioactive elements, and we increase our radiation exposure by sleeping next to someone.

      * Sea water is slighty radioactive and contains lots of radioactive elements like uranium.

      * Nuclear reactors have been identified in nature

      * We cop a good dose of radiation every time we take an aeroplane flight…

      * While the technology is improving, coal fired power stations are inclined to spew out radioactive elements all over the countryside.

      It’s a free tour and well worth a visit.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 11 25 at 03:02 AM • permalink


    1. Anyone been able to post a comment on Tim’s article on the Tele site?  My one word comment (“Rubbish!) doesn’t seem to have appeared.

      Posted by Brett_McS on 2006 11 25 at 03:32 AM • permalink


    1. #37 Thanks for the tip Pedro. I’ll bring a Canadian flag with me and somebody might take pity.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 25 at 10:16 AM • permalink


    1. RebeccaH, #22, and Janice, #27, thanks.

      Posted by Dusty on 2006 11 25 at 02:34 PM • permalink


    1. Congrats Tim on becoming a Tele Tubby
      Nice story – should stir the possum with Paul Kent too (resident enviro bedwetter) – I feel a joust coming on…

      Posted by Bonmot on 2006 11 25 at 04:06 PM • permalink


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