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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 05:27 am

This week’s Continuing Crisis column in the Bulletin mentions Oliver Stone, Mark Latham, Russell Crowe, Hungry Jack, Isaac Latham, Oliver Latham, the Olsen twins, Nostradamus, Judy Davis, John Malkovich, Ross Schultz, Jackie Chan, Heath Ledger, and Morris Iemma. Please do click around at the magazine site for other news and columns.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/24/2006 at 09:36 AM
    1. Very sad news. Death of the London Daily Telegraph’s Michael Wharton (“Peter Simple”) columnist, aged 92. First and greatest satirist against the modern left – coined phrases “Rentamob”, “Race Relations Industry,” Etc. and a gallery of left-wing and generally obnoxious characters such as the trendy Bishop Spacely-Trellis and the mad psychiatrist Dr Heinz Kiosk. First column published in 1955, last on 20th Jan, 2006. Its quality never flagged. A beautiful writer and a truly great and lovely man.

      Posted by Susan Norton on 2006 01 24 at 11:04 AM • permalink


    1. Truly Heath Ledger’s finest performance.

      Posted by PW on 2006 01 24 at 11:20 AM • permalink


    1. #2 curses beaten to it (looks malevolently at PW while fondling claw hammer)

      Posted by KK on 2006 01 24 at 11:29 AM • permalink


    1. An excellent story line. However, if Oliver Stone figures in the thing, shouldn’t one of the hamburger slingers be an expat American Vietnam War veteran, secretly sprinkling the hamburger patties with ground glass, while simultaneously having flashbacks to the day he assassinated JFK? Or is that too subtle?

      Posted by paco on 2006 01 24 at 12:09 PM • permalink


    1. A quadruple megawhopper with a shake, double everything and large fries? Wouldn’t that cause abnormal breast enlargement?

      Just askin’.

      Posted by ErnieG on 2006 01 24 at 12:34 PM • permalink


    1. You forgot the gay subtext.  Oliver Stone always includes a gay subtext.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 01 24 at 12:38 PM • permalink


    1. You forgot the gay subtext.  Oliver Stone always includes a gay subtext.

      Wouldn’t the breast business take care of that, or at least, help it along?

      Posted by ErnieG on 2006 01 24 at 12:42 PM • permalink


    1. Teehee. Great column!

      Posted by James Waterton on 2006 01 24 at 01:35 PM • permalink


    1. #6: Ok, how about this: on his way out of the Hungry Jack’s, Latham bumps into Andrew Sullivan while the latter is carrying one of those twisty-looking ice cream concoctions back to his table. Andrew trips and falls face down in the ice cream. He jumps up and utters several hysterical, Sullivan-type remarks (I can’t think of anything specific at the moment; just remember to use lots of exclamation marks in the script).

      Posted by paco on 2006 01 24 at 01:53 PM • permalink


    1. Oh, and if you REALLY want contemporaneity, write MoDo’s character into the script. As Latham exits the restaurant, he collides with MoDo, who shouts, in a state of excited surprise, “BA-by! It’s been, how long, 20 years?”  Casting could be tough, though; who’d be good at playing a skanky grandma?

      Posted by paco on 2006 01 24 at 02:01 PM • permalink


    1. Can your administrator please fix the RSS feeds? Have been out for almost 10 days now. Error message:


      The following tag has a syntax error:


      Please correct the syntax in your template.

      Posted by berend on 2006 01 24 at 03:08 PM • permalink


    1. So how long until Paul Martin starts behaving this way? Or am I just not up enough on Canadian politics to know that he always has behaved this way?

      Posted by Monroe Doctrine on 2006 01 24 at 03:55 PM • permalink


    1. who’d be good at playing a skanky grandma

      Rula Lenska

      Posted by 13times on 2006 01 24 at 03:58 PM • permalink


    1. 13: Or maybe even George Galloway.

      Posted by paco on 2006 01 24 at 04:03 PM • permalink


    1. Subtext? With Oliver Stone it is the text.

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 01 24 at 04:12 PM • permalink


    1. Casting could be tough, though; who’d be good at playing a skanky grandma?

      Just get Whoopi Goldberg.

      Posted by PW on 2006 01 24 at 04:38 PM • permalink


    1. 13: Or maybe even George Galloway.

      Isnt he playing the cat?

      Posted by lingus4 on 2006 01 24 at 06:46 PM • permalink


    1. This is your funniest column to date, methinks. Well done. 🙂

      Posted by Tasman on 2006 01 24 at 06:50 PM • permalink


    1. Very funny. Excellent in fact.

      And to think 18mths ago this man had a good shot at being our Prime Mumbler.

      Posted by Jools on 2006 01 24 at 08:24 PM • permalink


    1. Great column, Tim – nearly spilled the coffee.

      Way OT – this appears on The Australian website:

      I AM an American who checks out your website regularly. I read with dismay that my Government has failed to appoint an ambassador to Australia.

      This would be troubling for any nation, but is particularly so for yours.

      Despite the hype about the “special relationship” between the US and Britain, I believe Australia to be our greatest ally. All Australians I have met have been way, way cooler than the British, more laid-back and drink far better beer.

      To top it all off, Australians seem to have some backbone to them.

      Because of all this, I am more than happy to volunteer my own services to cementing the relationship between our two countries and hereby suggest that I become the US ambassador to Australia.

      Although my present job is OK (I am a litigator), it can get a little dry, and hanging with the surfer dudes near Sydney would probably be a bit more exciting.

      Although I have never been to Australia, I do have several qualifications. My very first rock concert was INXS back in the 1980s and I saw Midnight Oil not once, but twice. I also recently read Seven Types of Ambiguity by Elliot Perlman and have also read several books by Peter Singer (though I did not like them).

      I thought the kangaroos were hands down the cutest animals in the zoo when I went there this summer and I know how to throw a boomerang properly.

      You probably have better connections than I do, so if you get this email into the right hands, it might get the ball rolling.

      Dan Herak
      Ohio, US


      Sounds like the ideal candidate 🙂

      Posted by Villeurbanne on 2006 01 24 at 08:27 PM • permalink


    1. #10 Magrok?

      Posted by larrikin on 2006 01 24 at 08:46 PM • permalink


    1. #20- we need more litigation lawyers down here; why not sign up a couple of paedophiles, disc jockeys and rappers as deputy ambassadors?

      #10-  Casting completed– she’s just got to get the acent right, and learn how to gibber like a loon on cue. (Alzheimers may help there).

      Posted by Habib on 2006 01 24 at 08:56 PM • permalink


    1. #20 if we’re having a ‘congressional’ to appoint our next US ambassador, I wanna say Hank ol’ buddy I like ya, but I’m worried you’re not being candid – I mean going to a Midnight Oil concert once, ok that could be the sort of mistake anyone could make. But twice!

      Posted by larrikin on 2006 01 24 at 09:00 PM • permalink


    1. “The Atrium of Infinite Justice”: Sheer magic.

      Posted by captain on 2006 01 24 at 09:20 PM • permalink


    1. #23- Unless you missed beaning Garrett on his big baldy noggin with an empty first time ‘round.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 01 24 at 10:02 PM • permalink


    1. #20
      He does not mention the prime qualifications necessary for a successful US ambassador to Oz.  How much beer can he put away at one sitting?  Can he run the embassy barbie properly?  If our ambassador can’t meet the best that Oz has to offer in these vital respects, I think our relationship will suffer an irreparable blow.  How could Oz continue to support us if our ambassador couldn’t drink one-for-one with John Howard?

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 01 24 at 11:29 PM • permalink


    1. How many helicopters can he organise for the embassy roof to airlift us in the event of a takeover by Bob Brown and the Conservo Cong?

      (Can’t see a tofu tank doing much of a job of knocking over the gates to Yaralumla though).

      Posted by Habib on 2006 01 25 at 12:19 AM • permalink


    1. Tim, you’re a cruel, cruel man.

      Cruel, but fair.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 01 25 at 12:50 AM • permalink


    1. EmieG : re #5 :
      No, a common misconception. Gay Guys like Guys, it’s what makes them Gay, to state the obvious.

      Pardon, gotta go, just popping down to the local HJs for <strike>a quadruple megawhopper with a shake, double everything and large fries</strike> a light salad or something.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 01 25 at 12:56 AM • permalink


    1. Can I come, I spent 15 minutes in the departure lounge in Sydney, I like The Easybeats and I actually had toast with Vegamite.  I figure I’m just as qualified as anybody else to be the US’s next ambassador to Australia. I even know the difference between Canterbury and Canberra though why any would want to know is a mystery to me.

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2006 01 25 at 02:55 AM • permalink


    1. Re #20 Can I apply?

      I have a good working knowledge of Australian history, language and culture. I will drink any Australian beer so long as it is cold. Even XXXX. I reckon I could out-drink John Howard if he was given a five day start and I had to use a knotted straw. My barbequed marinated prawns are the talk of the state. I like koalas, kangaroos and wombats. I particularly like kangaroo with a hearty read wine jus and a bottle of Henshke Edelstone. I haven’t been a litigation lawyer for ages. I have an interest in both ARL and AFL codes. I hate soccer. I was despondent when the Brits won the Ashes. I am routinely associated with the ruling neo-conservative clique in Washington DC. I am a strong and outspoken supporter of Israel.

      Mind you I am not an US citizen. Is that important?

      Posted by geoff on 2006 01 25 at 07:46 AM • permalink


    1. Dan,Michael,Pat come on down -under.
      Geoff whose citizen are you?

      Posted by crash on 2006 01 25 at 08:03 AM • permalink


    1. Very sad news. Death of the London Daily Telegraph’s Michael Wharton

      Charles Moore mentioned in the Spectator a few months ago how when Wharton worked at the BBC in the 50s, and Stalin died he said to some colleagues “It’s a pity he was ever born”, they wouldn’t speak to him for several weeks after that.

      Posted by Ross on 2006 01 25 at 08:22 AM • permalink


    1. Tim, having all those people together in one column must be a sign of the Apocalypse.  Watch it, will you?

      P.S. Only pay enough airfare to get the lawyers halfway across the Pacific.  That way we all win.

      Posted by Mitch on 2006 01 25 at 02:40 PM • permalink


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