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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 03:26 pm
One of the great mysteries of modern times is finally solved by an Israeli radio journalist:
Speaking to an Arab affairs expert on the reports that Islamic Jihad is threatening to send scores of women suicide bombers to blow themselves up near IDF troops if Israel starts an operation on the ground in Gaza, she enquired what awaited such women in heaven, the equivalent of the notorious 72 virgins ready to serve the male shahids. The answer: dwarves who will serve them.
(Via Dan Lewis)
- Sheesh!Posted by debi L. on 2007 05 24 at 06:31 PM • permalink
- Dwarves hey? Obviously Arab women, oppressed as ever, are dreaming of a heaven in which they will rule over the Arab men – hence they dream of midgets.
I’m not sure if this is indicative of Arab womens’ sexual preferences, but then again, the Arabs have always had small cajones, so it makes some sense.
Posted by The Best Infidel on 2007 05 24 at 06:33 PM • permalink
- There are Antony Loewensteins in Paradise? I thought they didn’t allow Jews in?Posted by andycanuck on 2007 05 24 at 06:37 PM • permalink
- Welcome to the batshit religion!Posted by rick mcginnis on 2007 05 24 at 06:40 PM • permalink
- Oh. It’s the mental midget Paradise exception. My mistake. (Still, maybe someone should “Ask The Imam” about this
hornythorny theological question?)Posted by andycanuck on 2007 05 24 at 06:47 PM • permalink
- This guy’s been watching too much of The Man Show.
- We bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb in Israel the whole day through
To bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb is what we really like to do
It ain’t no trick to get dead quick
If you bomb bomb bomb with a foil-wrapped dick
In Israel! In Israel! In Israel! In Israel!
With a shrapnel-laden pail!We bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb from early morn till night
We blow blow blow blow blow blow blow up everything in sight
We blow up martyrs by the score
A thousand shahids, sometimes more
But we don’t know what we bomb ‘em for
We bomb bomb bomb a-bomb bomb!Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
Heigh-hoChorus
Heigh-ho, Heigh-ho
It’s off to bomb we go
(Whistle)
- The Palestinians should be encouraged in this. The more of their own women they blow up, the quickly they disappear…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 24 at 08:02 PM • permalink
- Anyone hear about the midget who walked into the party and kissed every girl in the joint…..?
(Boom Boom!)
Posted by lex luthor on 2007 05 24 at 08:13 PM • permalink
- Hang about, hang about … it makes a b-i-g difference whether they’re dwarfs or midgets.
From my ancient past, I seem to remember that a male dwarf has disproportionately small limbs, an enlarged skull and a small middle face area—but the rest is full size, including the wedding tackle (aka ‘the dangly bits’).
On the other hand, a midget is proportionately small all over.
If they’re getting served (or serviced for that matter) by dwarfs (not frigging ‘dwarves’!) they could be doing A-OK. If it’s midgets, they could be … ahem … shortchanged.
- But what it doesn’t say is what sex the dwarves are.
Maybe they’ll be served by female dwarves?
That would be a double-whammy – female dwarves would be third class citizens.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 24 at 08:34 PM • permalink
- I wasn’t talking about their dangly bits.
I was referring to the inadequacy of Muslim males and their paranoia concerning their own inadequacy in everything.They wouldn’t want any competition in anything from a “normal” man. They say midgets/dwarves* so as not to be out done by another.
Someone who has time should look up the muslim treatment or and thoughts on dwarves/midgets and see WHY the women get them…
(*my dictionary says either/or dwarfs is acceptable)
- Listen to you all -believing filthy Jewish propaganda put out by the giant JewbushamerikasskkkhoWARd media kartel
How Dare You!!!! You must know by now that the ONLY permitted source of knowledge is the holy profit al’gore (may 10000000 solar cells light his way to Paradise) and his faithful imam shreek blubberlips catmeat (may a million cans of Snappy Tom satisy his appetite for eternity)….. soon, the head sawer offers will come for you, and they are NOT midgets.
Cheers
RodC
- al ‘Splodey– “Tell me oh Great Efendi, Imam who knows all, are there any nuns of the infidel Church of Rome anywhere to be found in the Blessed Lands of the West Bank and Gaza?”
Imam Wambamfankymam– “No, my altitude-lacking jihadi; all of these harlots of Saitan have fled the holy land of the Prophet or been converted to the true path by sawing off their heads to appease Allah, PBUH. Why is it that you ask?”
al’Splodey– “One of my fellows, bin Dopi, claimed to have encountered one of these non-believers, and she lured him with her hair rays to perform a carnal act upon her; the rest of us believe in fact he fucked a penguin.”
Imam Wambamfankymam– “Ah! So all is clear- tell bin Dopi that he is absolved, and must just perform ablution on the contents of his MC Hammer pants- penguins are halal.”
- For some reason I get the feeling that they’ve all been watching too many Twin Peaks DVDs.Posted by ErnestBludger on 2007 05 24 at 08:58 PM • permalink
- Readallaboutit!
Readallaboutit!Nudism craze hits retailers!
OK, OK, I know it’s a littler O/T
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:02 PM • permalink
- Maybe this is why they recruited ‘Mo Daewoo.
One would expect an Australian convert to require midgets as a reward, with the proviso they have flat heads so there’s somewhere to rest you stubby………..
- #39 10 milluion solar cells? Do you know how much that would cost, Rod?Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:06 PM • permalink
- Dwarves, huh? I wonder what Tolkien would have to say about that…Posted by Alan K. Henderson on 2007 05 24 at 09:07 PM • permalink
- OT but—does anyone have a link to that pic of the protester crapping on the American flag from that Seattle rally? Need it for a counterprotest display…Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 24 at 09:12 PM • permalink
- #27 Well I followed your suggestion and googled “hot dwarf burqa sex” and this is the best the internet could do. Talk about retro!Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:16 PM • permalink
dwarf
// (say dwawf)
noun (plural dwarfs or dwarves // (say dwawvz))
1. a person suffering from a genetic condition resulting in short stature, especially a person with achondroplasia.
2. any human being much below the ordinary stature or size.
3. an animal or plant much below the ordinary size of its kind or species.
4.
a. (in Norse mythology) one of a race of small humanoid beings of short stature, famed as skilful miners and smiths and generally represented with long beards.
b. (in fantasy literature) any similar being.
5. → dwarf star.
—adjective 6. of unusually small stature or size; diminutive.
—verb (t) 7. to cause to appear or seem small in size, extent, character, etc.
8. to make dwarf or dwarfish; prevent the due development of.
—verb (i) 9. to become stunted or smaller. [Middle English dwerf, Old English dweorg] Usage (language): The first plural form given, dwarfs, has the greatest frequency and acceptability. However, the occurrence of the form dwarves is increasing.Bibliography: The Macquarie Dictionary Online © 2007 Macquarie Dictionary Publishers Pty Ltd.
Speaking as Managing Editor of a worldwide publishing company, my writers and editors WILL stick to “dwarfs”, thank you very much. (Where’s that smiley of someone blowing a raspberry when it’s needed?) 😉
- #46 Thanks for the clarification, Habib, I was trying to wrap my mind around the possible images there 🙂Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:19 PM • permalink
- #54 FIGHT!FIGHT!
Look mate, it’s DWARVES, OK?
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:21 PM • permalink
- Splodies…How to deal with them?
So, let’s say you are in a crowded restaurent, a nice, tasty one, and the guy, or burqa, next to you has a suspiciously bulging waist-line. S/He reaches for something on their belt. What is your best defence?
Well, recalling how the lower and upper parts of the homiciders’ bodies are often found intact, albeit maybe some distance away, but their midrifts aren’t, I would say the best stratagem for survival is to jump on the splodie’s head.
Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 05 24 at 09:29 PM • permalink
Speaking as Managing Editor of a worldwide publishing company, my writers and editors WILL stick to “dwarfs”, thank you very much. (Where’s that smiley of someone blowing a raspberry when it’s needed?) 😉
Biwoz, when you’re paying me I’ll spell it howeverthefuck you want.
Until then, it’s dwarves from me.
- I don’t think Fatima’s going to be any better off dealing with dwarves- the stumpy little bastards can prove pretty feisty, and she’s just as likely to get slapped upside the hijab or get a belt in the burkha from a halfpint habib as she is from any full-size male relative or spouse.
Biwoz, when you’re paying me I’ll spell it howeverthefuck you want.
Until then, it’s dwarves from me.
Oohh, who put her knickers on backwards this morning, then?
Lighten up, Kae, you’re free to do as you please … as am I. I was simply explaining the rationale behind my thinking. {Shrugs shoulders} Sheesh.
- Okay, so I’m a newbie, and totally ignored, and so this post is totally OT—but simply must share joust I’ve been involved with, with asshats.
Thanks for listening!
http://time-blog.com/swampland/2007/05/a_note_on_sources.html
- Friend: “Why are you laughing so hard?”
Me: “Muslim women get dwarfs instead of houri if they are martyred.”
Friend: “Oh. What are houri?”
Me: “Soulless female servants of Paradise”
Friend: “Like hot bartenders?”
Me: “Yes but you don’t have to tip to get attention.”
Friend: “Hm. And women get dwarfs.”
Me: “Yup.”
Friend: “So… Not expecting a Muslim Joan of Arc?”
- Y’know, we do need to thank Allah (MHNBP) for the stupidity and lack of imagination of our enemies.
If any Imam figures out to tell women that in the afterlife they (1) won’t be beaten and (2) can say no without penalty, PACO Industries will have to put on three shifts to meet the demand for explosive underwear in women’s size 6.
Regards,
Ric
- As I remember it, Tolkien specifically called his fantasy creatures dwarves to differentiate them from dwarfs, which occur in reality.
So there you have it. The imans read Tolkien, which I would have thought was haram.
On the other hand, it could be an isreali translator that speaks English as a second language…..
- #82: Ah! Now we’re getting somewhere.
BIWOZ, KAE:
In the name of Tim, the Merciful (Peace Be Upon Him): Greetings.
In the Dar al-Blair, there must be charity and unity if we are to carry out Tim’s will. Bury your daggers in the sand (over there, under the date palm, next to the camel with the mangy hump), and be at peace, one with the other. For this charity among the faithful is a reflection of Paradise, and a portent of the eternal love of Tim, against which even death is powerless. Salaam.
Daud ibn Paq’o,
Imam to the Commentariat
- O Great and Holy Imam Daud ibn Paq’o, this unworthy female beseeches you to rain the blessings of your wisdom down upon her. I wish to behave according to the will of Tim (PBUH) by infiltrating the mosque of al-Gore and exposing his evil teachings for all the world to see, but I realize that there is a strong possibility that I may die if discovered by his followers, if overcome by the noxious stench of hundreds of unwashed hippies, or from sheer boredom. I am only attracted to very tall men – is there any chance, O Great Imam, that I may have numerous NBA players to serve me in the afterlife if I die in the name of the glorious cause, or will I have to make do by making my servants stand on one another’s shoulders and wear long overcoats?
Peace be upon you, Great Teacher. I eagerly await your wisdom.
– SplatimaPosted by Blue State Sil on 2007 05 24 at 10:45 PM • permalink
- So now he’s the T’Imam?Posted by carpefraise on 2007 05 24 at 10:47 PM • permalink
- OT:
Manufacturing dissent: a doco about Mike Moore – when’s ABC TV going to air this?
- Blue State Sil
Zombie did it for you, check out the display of enviro friendly cars the Goricles supporters drove to hear their guru.
They really have no bloody clue.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 24 at 11:08 PM • permalink
- O/T
Sam Watson is furious. (How unusual.)
It appears that Indigenous minister Mal Brough has said that aboriginal children should be made to learn English language at school, so that they can succeed in our (English speaking) society. (paraphrased)
Sam Watson has called Mal Brough racist, and other things, because he suggests that in Australia, an English speaking country, children should learn English in school.
There are many, many aboriginal languages in Australia, and it is usual that only neighbouring tribes understand their neighbours language.
- I just found this book that explains sex to muslim children.Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2007 05 24 at 11:10 PM • permalink
- #103 thefrollickingmole –
I love a good Zombie photoessay – thanks!
Good to see al-Gore looking as spiffy (read bloated, puffy, and obviously in need of about a month’s sleep) as ever.
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 05 24 at 11:19 PM • permalink
- #97 chris: I knew I should have stayed out of it. Well, at least we can eat the baked beans.
#99: is there any chance, O Great Imam, that I may have numerous NBA players to serve me in the afterlife if I die in the name of the glorious cause
In the name of Tim, the Just (Peace be upon him): Greetings, daughter.
If you die a martyr in the struggle against the Goreist heresy, you will have unlimited first-round draft picks in Paradise. Salaam.
Daud ibn Paq’o
- Speaking of those little, short buggers, I just got this in my email:
The seven dwarfs went off to work in the mine one day, while Snow White stayed at home to do the housework, cook their lunch and study for her business degree from USQ!
However when she went to the mine to deliver their lunches, she found there had been a cave-in, and there was no sign of the dwarfs.
Tearfully she yelled in to the mine entrance: “hello – is anyone there. Can anyone hear me”.
A voice floated up from the bowels of the mine:
” New South Wales will win State of Origin”
“Thank god” said Snow White “at least Dopey’s still alive”
- I don’t want to labour the point. But this could put Kansas, Dorothy and what was really going on over the rainbow in a new light.
- #103
Cripes, he’s gettin’ so fat that the slideshow’s now in Gore-obama visionAdopting Phat Phil’s blackwear, I note.
- #15. They’re all Goofy, aren’t they?Posted by Harry Eagar on 2007 05 25 at 12:01 AM • permalink
- #228 Works for me Biwoz, goose-bumps are so unbecoming – hey, I just had a brainwave (yeah, I know, made my head hurt, but listen…)
How about… dwarf tossing?
(It does fit with the theme of the post!)
surprised that it took 120 posts for someone to unearth the anchient aussie sport of dwarf chucking. well done.
Don’t tell the elf…
Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 25 at 01:14 AM • permalink
- Is it just me or is the whole Middle east one big episode of Jerry Springer, complete with dwarf KKK members.
As for dwarf tossing, here is a record for all to look up to.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 25 at 01:22 AM • permalink
- That whole “virgin” thing is a known mistrans.
What mohmad the propheteer really said was that each muzzy would meet 72 Virginians in the here-after.
- I had a crash on the way to work this morning. Hit a car up the a#se. This
fella got out and he was a dwarf!He said “I’m not happy” so I said well which one are you then?
Posted by deadparrot on 2007 05 25 at 01:26 AM • permalink
- What’s pink, with seven dints in it?
Snow White’s hymen.
O/T, but Crikey’s muscled into the GGWS transmission debate, unleashing the rapier wit and clear, objective insight of Jeff Sparrow:-
The Trotskyists behind the climate swindle
Jeff Sparrow writes:Discussions of the ABC’s proposed screening of the ‘Great Climate Change Swindle’ documentary have so far neglected a remarkable aspect of the whole affair – the role played by deranged former revolutionaries.
That is, the lineage of the people behind ‘Swindle’ goes back organisationally and ideologically to a Trotskyist group once called the Revolutionary Communist Party and now associated with the academic Frank Furedi, the online magazine Spiked and a thinktank known as the Institute for Ideas.
It is, of course, not uncommon for tired radicals to discover they can exponentially increase their incomes by reversing the polarities of their core beliefs. Even so, the evolution of the RCPers is quite spectacular, since, while the content of their politics altered beyond recognition, their form remained more-or-less the same.
Even in its socialist days, the RCP took particular delight in courting controversy and baiting liberals. In the early nineties, the organisation lurched in an ultra libertarian direction, declaring that anything – anything at all – that limited the ability of humans to transform the world was part of the politically-correct agenda of the nanny-state. Its magazine Living Marxism (funkily rebadged as LM) duly defended fox-hunting and cigarette smoking and other oddball causes, as the ties mooring it to any kind of leftwing project strained and then snapped.
Today, its cadre of undoubtedly talented journalists and academics lend their polemical talents to promoting GM foods and attacking environmentalists and backing other causes dear to the hearts of the big-spending business groups who attend their forums and functions.
One might put the RCP’s long ideological march alongside the weird gyrations of Lyndon LaRouche, another former Trotskyist whose political cult also enthusiastically promotes the ‘Swindle’ doco but goes one better by identifying Prince Philip as the secret, drug-pushing mastermind behind Aboriginal land rights.
But there’s another interesting comparison closer to home. After all, Keith Windschuttle, one of the ABC’s new board members, began his career as a fire-breathing revolutionary given to epater le bourgeois provocations of his own. In 1967, for instance, as editor of the student paoer Honi Soit, Windy stuck it to the Man by publishing the chemical formula for LSD. He was, ASIO noted at the time, a ‘violent revolutionary’ and ‘well versed in active revolutionary tactics.’
So did the parallels between Windschuttle’s career and those behind ‘Swindle’ play any role in convincing the ABC to show a program almost universally regarded as scientifically worthless?
Who knows? Still, if Auntie’s looking for documentary subjects, here’s an idea: what about a show highlighting the peculiar process of reverse metamorphosis that, in George Galloway’s splendid phrase, allows so many former butterflies of the Left to transform successfully into grubs?
So some of them are former commies; some of the most virulent critics of the left in Australia are former bedwetting pinkos, myself included. So what? We grew and/or sobered up.
I really think these swine are really starting to get worried that their paper-thin premise is about to be used to wipe its collective arse.
- I want to be a bomber
to Islam I will be true
I want to die for my beliefs
like the other bombers do
but why is it that my bombing
wont be rewarded like the mens
instead of lots of virgins
I get lots of migit men
So because theres no equality
Islam is not for me
Im gonna piss this bullshit off
and try christianityI tried to be a christian
but i didnt see the light
a million different churches
all professing to God’s might
I tried to pray to the lord above
and found there was no answer
so i gave up the search for a new church
and became an exotic dancer
- It was a short stop.Posted by deadparrot on 2007 05 25 at 02:04 AM • permalink
- “Hamas and Fatah have been literally at each other’s throats lately. The Jerusalem Post’s Khaled Abu Toameh noted on May 18 that Hamas men are afraid of appearing in public with beards for fear they will be killed or kidnapped by Fatah militiamen.”
“According to a Hamas official, most of the victims were killed execution-style by Fatah gunmen and members of various Fatah-controlled Palestinian Authority security forces.”
Better start lining up those houris.
Or, would the martytrs prefer something dwarvish?
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 05 25 at 02:49 AM • permalink
- #62 dwarf – dwarves
poof – poovesI prefer “poof – poofters”
That makes the plural into “dwarfters”.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 25 at 03:24 AM • permalink
- I would think of the dwarves but…the issue just wont rise to a sufficient level of concern.
I mean, it’s not a big enough problem to demand immediate attention.
It’s not that I’m so small minded but this isn’t a tall order of any real magnitude and it just doesn’t measure up.
At it’s very height, it’s tallest peak on the problem graph, it simply came up too short.
- Well, crap, what the hell happened to my post!
I guess what did post makes so sense at all by itself.
My original point, that is now flying about somewhere in the ether, is that the males of Islam can’t even allow their females to be women in “paradise”. Aside from the psychology of thinking that paradise consists of having sex with 72 inexperienced women, they can’t even give that much to the women.
Dwarves or dwarfs, no matter how you spell it, it sucks. And not in a good way.
(My original post was much more brilliant that that, by the way. All my most brilliant prose disappears without ever being read. It is so sad.)
- saltydog
I blame the gubinment!
Get yourself one of these!
Paco benev(i)olent organisation needs to get rid of that bloke before he ruins on of PACO’s most profitable sidelines.
Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 25 at 04:26 AM • permalink
- The really scary part is, I hear that the Empire of the Dwarves is forming an alliance with that other race of transdimensionals that manifest themselves here in our dimension as white mice.
They are coming in under the radar, flitting through the gaps in our defenses and undermining our societies…why?
Well, that’s an easy one. Our dimension is where all the best cheese is made. Just ask the French.
Oh, and notice in the above posts how the evil dwarven spy/operatives messed around with my spelling? They do that to discredit those who catch on to their nefarious plans.
- #134 – Jeff Sparrow thinks leftists are “butterflies” eh. Well I’ve never seen butterflies murder millions of people in communist death camps, dissapear many more millions for not thinking approved thoughts and allow many millions more to starve to death through cock-eyed utopian economic policies. Jeff Sparrow is the author of Communism: A Love Story.
- Many of you seem to be “tired and emotional” or, at least, seem to be acting that way. I’m not “tired and emotional” right now though I am working on it. For now I’m dead serious. It’s a habit I have.
I have no particular interest in dwarves either now (since, currently, I know none and leave the caring about individual dwarves to those who know and love them) or in the hereafter (where, I have reason to believe, all physical disabilities will be abolished). If I knew a dwarf I would, I hope, care about him or her. But I don’t know any and I’m not big on caring about classes of individuals as opposed to caring about individual individuals. I leave that broad sort of caring to socialists, who can love everyone as long as they don’t live next door.
How can heaven be heaven if all it has is me and a bunch of servant dwarves? What are they going to serve me with that could make such a heaven heavenly? Mere chocolate won’t do it. Nor will cask Chablis. And who are these dwarves? It’s all too spooky for my liking.
What I want to find in heaven is my God, my dog, my dad and, eventually, everyone else I’ve ever loved. That’s assuming I go next. If things turn out otherwise I will hope to find some extra people already there when I arrive.
What is wrong with these Muslim people and their weird ideas???? What? What? What?
I don’t understand their priorities at all. I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’m well on the road to “tired and emotional”. But seeing that it’s Friday night I don’t care.
- Paco – excellent contribs as usual!Best bit of news this week was the one about Hamas types being afraid to venture out due to the opposing militia hit squads targetting bearded men.
Ranks right up there with the high command of the ALP shooting itself in the guts with the Work Agreements fiasco involving (a) Ms Rein, and (b) the unfortunate Lilac Time Motel.
AS the Australian newspaper said the other day in its editorial:The critical question is not so much what sort of a prime minister Mr Rudd would make but what sort of a team he would lead. While there is every indication that Mr Rudd would make a strong and effective prime minister if he can choose his own team, there is every reason to fear that he would be saddled with a backward-looking cast of ideologically blinkered class warriors.
Rudd (the fiscal conservative?) is the chinese lipstick on the ALP-Union Pig. They all (particularly Gillard) would have sold us Latham at the last election. How can the voters trust them with the big federal keys at the same time as the states are all Labor? The sabotage of the water plan is proof that they are spoilers, not builders.
- 175. An even shorter dwarf??Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 25 at 08:24 AM • permalink
- In other self-explodie-people news, who’d’ve thunk it?
Pelosi had announced earlier that the House would not leave for the Memorial Day recess without a new funding bill, a signal to some of a looming defeat.
“When they put out that deadline, people realized that we were going to lose,” said an aide to an anti-war lawmaker. “Everything after that seemed like posturing.
That move gave Bush the upper hand in negotiations, the aide said, since it allowed him to wait out the Democrats while continuing to oppose attaching more restraints on the funds.
“There was no question that this was going to be the end result,” the aide added.
- #179 aaron: Surely you’re not suggesting that the Democrats – swept into majorities in both houses of Congress with an ironclad mandate to end the war – have been playing games with the lives of our troops and innocent Iraqis, and have been engaged in futile grandstanding? How could such a thing be?
- I’d imagine, that for any dwarf, the prospect of serving female jihadis in the after-life is a depressing thought.
Perhaps the only way for them to get out of this onerous duty is to revert to islam. Better to become a martyr and get the tall virgins than serve an angry downtrodden woman with a moustache.
I will now be even more suspicious about dwarves/dwarfs/dworphs/dwawfs.
- Bugger Grimmy beat me to that point! Are they really that clueless they cant see thats exactly what they are proposing in iraq?
Not to mention the “Free French partisan in 44” rush to join the resistance groups in order to curry favour with whoever looks like having the upper hand after the pull out?
Knobheads.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 25 at 08:44 AM • permalink
- How many midgets each do they get? Men get 72 virgins. Do women get maybe 2 midgets each?
Ripped off if you ask me.
If men wrap their knobs in tinfoil to preserve them for the hereafter, what do women wrap? Their index finger? So they can crook it and say, “Come here, little man”.
Posted by mr creosote on 2007 05 25 at 09:20 AM • permalink
- #184 Rebecca: Each of us has to fight a long series of battles throughout life. You – now don’t deny it! – must have had to fight off the unwanted advances of numerous suitors before you finally settled on the extravagantly fortunate Mr. H. Wronwright, a successful tax attorney and mead bootlegger, has undoubtedly had to fight against the capricious tyranny of the IRS, in addition to dealing with quality control issues arising from the notorious unreliability of Sumerian brewers. Al Gore is obviously engaged in his own personal Battle of the Bulge, and is just as obviously losing it. I expect that one day he will simply explode, from a surfeit of pizza and arrogance; it will be the pricked balloon-pop heard ‘round the world.
- “Jeff Sparrow thinks leftists are “butterflies” eh.”
He’s got a point. Butterflies don’t have spines, nor much of a brain.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 05 25 at 09:55 AM • permalink
- It’s been almost a century now and the Left hasn’t eliminated those darn Trotskyites. Think how long it will take them to handle Iran.Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 25 at 10:50 AM • permalink
- You know, Talouse Latrec was a dwarf who hung around with prostitutes in Paris. They called him “Teapot”, you figure it out. But Imams probably don’t know this.
Any group that can think it is a positive thing to remove one’s wife’s clitoris, is seriously.. I struggle for a word, and you know what, I don’t need one, you know what I mean.
- All I can say (and more than likely someone has said it before)
These women suicide bombers are definitely being short-changed
Posted by aussiemagpie on 2007 05 25 at 11:53 AM • permalink
- Slightly O/T, but let us always remember the kind of enemy we’re up against (WARNING: Drawings are from an Al Quaeda torture manual).
- On a much more pleasant note, have a Happy Towel Day! all you froods.Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 25 at 01:54 PM • permalink
- It works well to have the short humans be dwarfs, and the mythological beings be dwarves. Helps keep them distinct.Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2007 05 25 at 03:58 PM • permalink
- there is an alternative view that the reward of a female shahid is to marry a male shahid in heaven, & then to have the right to boss around the 72 virgins, make them fetch & carry, peel grapes, etc. also in heaven, pregnancy lasts an hour, so you can raise up a whole tribe of little shahids in days. quite what they would do in heaven, where there are no infidels to splode, is unclear
- 202.
My guess that would be so the hubby doesnt have to cool his heels for a few months prior to, and after the birth. Call me cynical but Id be suprised if it was done for the womans benefit.Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 26 at 12:37 AM • permalink
- Post #172 –
I have no particular interest in dwarves either now… or in the hereafter (where, I have reason to believe, all physical disabilities will be abolished).
But what will constitute a physical disability in the hereafter, Janice? What if the Almighty is Herself a
midget goddessdeity of reduced proportions?Those of us of what’s assumed to be normal build might be the butt of Her jokes for all eternity. Bumping our heads against the clouds, wings three sizes too small… the other place almost becomes appealing when you toss variables like that into the equation.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 26 at 02:41 AM • permalink
- They’re perpetually and eternally virgins. Amorous virgins, but virgins nonetheless, forever… and ever… and ever.
Also there’s a scholar who has suggested that the 72 virgins is an optimistic mis-reading of an Islamic scripture promising raisins. I sincerely hope that suicide bomber/murderers go to hell, but failing that, I hope they get 72 raisins.
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