Cease hoarding your barn owls

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 07:58 am

Britain is running out of barn owls. If you have any spare barn owls, please FedEx them to Britain.

Posted by Tim B. on 09/26/2006 at 01:29 PM

Perhaps if they had more barns, it would help. You can’t have barn owls without barns.
Posted by Dr Alice on 2006 09 26 at 02:39 PM • permalink

I just finished my last one. Stuffed with wild mushrooms and washed down with a fine Montepulciano. Sorry Britain.
Posted by Latino on 2006 09 26 at 03:10 PM • permalink

I blame that Harry Potter kid and his goofy friends.
Posted by Merlin on 2006 09 26 at 03:57 PM • permalink

#3 Merlin, You beat me to it.
But I see that Times on Line puts the blame with (yes everyone, you guessed it!) Global Varming … groan.
Posted by Wand on 2006 09 26 at 04:52 PM • permalink

I’ll bet that they’re good with Spotted Owl Helper™. See? It’s on the shelf right between the Manatee Helper™and the Platypus Helper™.
Posted by ErnieG on 2006 09 26 at 05:09 PM • permalink

Hey, cut out the Barn Owl jokes! Those guys are cool.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2006 09 26 at 05:45 PM • permalink

Hey, cut out the Barn Owl jokes! Those guys are cool.
Room temperature, apparently.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 26 at 05:49 PM • permalink

If barn owls are supposed to be harbingers of death, and there are no more barn owls, wouldn’t that be good news for Britain? Just sayin’…
Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 09 26 at 05:54 PM • permalink

Maybe if they forget about the owls they won’t need the 300 kilos of white mice – and then we can all get some sleep.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 09 26 at 06:00 PM • permalink

OK – I’ve just bagged 6; put ‘em straight in the deep freeze, ready for export. What’s the address?
Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 09 26 at 06:41 PM • permalink

No barn owls for oil!
Posted by Crusader rabbit on 2006 09 26 at 08:32 PM • permalink

Freezing rain is caused by global warming.
Teenage pregnancy is caused by rock and roll.
Islamic terrorism is caused by US/Jewish hegemony and sodey pop.
This is a piece of piss, can I get a gig on public broadcasting, or better still a lucrative book and film deal?
Posted by Habib on 2006 09 26 at 08:58 PM • permalink

I don’t know about barn owls, but in the woods near my apartment there are gray owls of some sort and also hawks. And as I was walking home from Walmart this evening (before sunset) I saw a bald eagle flying overhead. They come down to Florida to winter.
I live in a fairly urban area, by the way.
Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 09 26 at 09:09 PM • permalink

When I was growing up, out in the country, I didn’t see any geese until I was in my late teens. This is DESPITE there being a nice-sized pond and what we called a swamp (now it’s a “wetland”) close to the house.
Now, I live in a suburb a quarter mile from a mall, and geese are a road hazard.
They’re like REALLY FREAKING BIG rats with wings.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 09 26 at 09:17 PM • permalink

I sent my owls to Athens. But I still have some coal I can send to Newcastle, if that would help.
Posted by TimShell on 2006 09 26 at 09:36 PM • permalink

Dunno about barn owls. But we can sure spare the Brits a few magpies from around here right now.
Posted by geoff on 2006 09 26 at 09:46 PM • permalink

“An extrapolation’s reliability is indicated by its prediction confidence interval, which often diverges to impossible values. Extrapolating beyond that range can lead to misleading results.” – Wikpaedia
Barn Owl existence 10 million years? Confidence interval…> 2 months!
Posted by allan on 2006 09 26 at 09:47 PM • permalink

And if they are worried about rats and mice, they can have as many of these fellas as they reckon they can handle. For my money they can take the lot. Not wildlife PC I know but they happen to be in plague numbers around here right now.
Posted by geoff on 2006 09 26 at 10:15 PM • permalink

Mind you, it’s a long time since I’ve seen a rat or mouse.
Posted by geoff on 2006 09 26 at 10:19 PM • permalink

Barn Owl existence 10 million years?
Barn owls and barns co-evolved in a mutually supporting symbiosis. Without barns, there can be no barn owls, and vice versa.
Posted by daddy dave on 2006 09 26 at 10:20 PM • permalink

Owl try to stay serious about this, but it’s owl I can do to keep from owling with laughter at some of the owltragous comments some of you birdbrains have made in this owltlaw blog!
Posted by rinardman on 2006 09 26 at 10:53 PM • permalink

OIO
ho.. hoooooooo.. ho.. oooooooooooooooo
(says in a hoot tone)
Posted by 1.618 on 2006 09 26 at 11:45 PM • permalink

The Treasurer Mr costello has previously sparked controversy by condemning “mushy multiculturalism” and warning Muslim migrants who want sharia law to leave Australia.
I’m wondering if that’s why the wise Owls left Islamic-another country-human-hyphen-sharia-ideological-theocratic Britain
.
Posted by 1.618 on 2006 09 26 at 11:50 PM • permalink