Cat not right

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Last updated on March 5th, 2018 at 01:40 pm

Mickey was just an average, playful Canadian housecat. But all that changed the day he visited the basement

UPDATE. Link not right. Copy and paste:

Posted by Tim B. on 02/23/2005 at 03:45 AM
    1. Tim, use the following URL in your link instead:

      In other words, replace the “&” with “&”.

      Do I win a prize?

      Posted by ChrisV on 2005 02 23 at 05:26 AM • permalink


    1. Argh! It’s automatically replacing it. What evil is this?

      Replace “&” with “%2526”. Does that work?

      If not, try replacing it with “%252526”.

      Posted by ChrisV on 2005 02 23 at 05:29 AM • permalink


    1. OK, I give up. A power greater than mine is clearly at work here.

      Posted by ChrisV on 2005 02 23 at 05:30 AM • permalink


    1. Obviously the cat snapped.  It happens all the time.

      It could replace bus plunge stories.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2005 02 23 at 05:50 AM • permalink


    1. It’s Margot inflicting misery by causing others to mis-spell words and hyperlinks.

      Posted by Pauly on 2005 02 23 at 05:51 AM • permalink


    1. Cat rampage: another good reason to own a gun.

      Poor cat probably had enough of living with Canadians and decided to commit suicide by police.

      Posted by J F Beck on 2005 02 23 at 05:56 AM • permalink


    1. That’s the saddest story I ever read. It makes me want to crawl back in bed.

      Anyway, try copying and pasting this link into your browser window to read it (there is something to do with the redirects that keeps messing it up, so I took the “http://” off so it won’t become clickable):

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 02 23 at 07:52 AM • permalink


    1. Holy crap that didn’t work. Defeated by Expression Engine. Here, do what I did: right click and copy the link, put it in your address bar of the browser, delete everything before “ (remove the redirect, in other words), then press enter. Sorry if I am muddle-headed, I just woke up.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 02 23 at 07:54 AM • permalink


    1. Hint, people, keep your basement PCP lab out of kitty range, or load up with wadcutters. A taser and a nightstick’s no use when you’ve got a feline Rodney King getting medieval in the sitting room.

      Posted by Habib on 2005 02 23 at 08:54 AM • permalink


    1. So, this is like every cat then, right?

      Posted by Hyggelig on 2005 02 23 at 10:29 AM • permalink


    1. So, this is like every cat then, right?


      Posted by Evil Pundit on 2005 02 23 at 10:36 AM • permalink


    1. Just go to “local news” and follow the headline links.

      And kids, let this be a lesson to you about keeping your meth stash in the basement…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 02 23 at 10:56 AM • permalink


    1. My cat Biscuit did a mini-version of this one time. My own stupid fault. I was feeding the neighbors’ dog while they were off on vacation, and took Biscuit with me. He was fine until I was about to leave the house when I found him behind a table. I reached down for him and he swatted and hissed at me. So I decided to leave. Apparently, a bad decision. That cat ran and attached himself to my leg with a strength I’d never seen in him before! The pain was intense and the only way I got him off of me was by grabbing his neck with all my strength, dragging him raking claws and teeth and all through my flesh, and throwing him away from me.

      He was ok after that.

      Posted by bovious on 2005 02 23 at 12:11 PM • permalink


    1. I wonder if my own little demonic familiar will turn on its master?

      Posted by Hyggelig on 2005 02 23 at 12:20 PM • permalink


    1. The pain was intense and the only way I got him off of me was by grabbing his neck with all my strength, dragging him raking claws and teeth and all through my flesh, and throwing him away from me.

      If he were Canadian, he’d be dead now.


      Posted by Aaron – Freewill on 2005 02 23 at 12:31 PM • permalink


    1. And bovious would have a gunshot wound to the leg.  Boy, wouldn’t the insurance adjuster just love that story?

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 02 23 at 01:01 PM • permalink


    1. As the constable entered the home, the cat ran up the stairs and stared the officer down.

      Heh…stared down by a cat. 🙂

      Of course, if Mickey had gotten a hold of a good dose of catnip that could have done it too.  Catnip is kitty crack/PCP.

      Posted by Bucky Katt on 2005 02 23 at 01:17 PM • permalink


    1. My cat does this sort of thing at least once a day. There’s nothing wrong with it, just keep some blood banked and you’ll be covered.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 02 23 at 01:31 PM • permalink


    1. Sounds like a bad sequel to Stephen King’s Cujo.  Catjo!  Coming soon to a theater near you.

      Posted by Randal Robinson on 2005 02 23 at 01:32 PM • permalink


    1. Cats are evil. People forget that.

      Remember: if you drop dead in your living room – your cat will begin feasting on your corpse before you have cooled off.

      Posted by Blue on 2005 02 23 at 02:15 PM • permalink


    1. I had a cat that used to go crazy like this.  (Usually it was some strange smell that set him off.) Thing was, if you threw a blanket over him to get him under control, then locked him in the bathroom for (no lie) about thirty seconds, upon opening the door he would be a sweet loving kitty kitty again.  Kind of creepy if you ask me.  The bastard gored me more than once before he “disappeared” from our lives.

      My cat wasn’t fixed… and I bet neither was theirs.

      Posted by Carrick Talmadge on 2005 02 23 at 02:26 PM • permalink


    1. Cat? I’m a kitty cat! And I dance dance dance! And I dance dance dance!

      Posted by Drunk Fade on 2005 02 23 at 02:33 PM • permalink


    1. Could it be that Kitty saw some of these hanging in the basement? (My favorite: “I am a frog.”)

      Posted by bovious on 2005 02 23 at 02:45 PM • permalink


    1. Remember: if you drop dead in your living room – your cat will begin feasting on your corpse before you have cooled off.

      I see you are from the dejafoo school of cat psychology:

      Since they can’t kill you outright, cats plot. That’s what evil things do – they plot. Cats are no different. Have you ever seen a cat’s eyes peeking out at you from next to the staircase in the dark? The cat is thinking “if I hit that ape ‘just right,’ I should be able to knock it down the steps and break its neck. Then I will be able to eat it. This is important because my size is otherwise insufficient for me to kill it outright.”

      We are obligate carnivore’s, after all.

      Save a cow, eat a vegan.

      Sincerely- Bucky Katt

      Posted by Bucky Katt on 2005 02 23 at 03:24 PM • permalink


    1. Hmmm, anybody check the basement yet?  *evil laugh*

      Posted by Patricia on 2005 02 23 at 03:46 PM • permalink


    1. Looks like rabies, sounds like rabies, bites like rabies, has to be gunned down like rabies!
      It’s a RABIES COVER UP!!!

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 02 23 at 06:22 PM • permalink


    1. When suddenly, up from a small basement flat,
      Why who should stalk out but the GREAT RUMPUSCAT.
      His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing,
      He gave a great yawn, and his jaws were amazing;
      And when he looked out through the bars of the area,
      You never saw anything fiercer or hairier.
      And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning,
      The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning.
      He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap –
      And they every last one of them scattered like sheep.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 02 23 at 06:25 PM • permalink


    1. Fear them, for they are mighty!

      Posted by Nightfly on 2005 02 23 at 07:07 PM • permalink


    1. I wonder if there were any chemicals in the basement the cat got into?

      Posted by CJosephson on 2005 02 23 at 07:13 PM • permalink


    1. I’m sure Rove is responsible somehow…

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2005 02 23 at 07:51 PM • permalink


    1. Andrea: The urlencoding is all screwed up. The ampersand in the link ought to be encoded as (percentsign)26. Unfortunately (percentsign)26 gets automatically converted to ampersand by your evil software, even in message bodies and even though other hexcodes don’t get converted. Observe:

      Percentage sign: %
      Percentage sign code: %25
      Ampersand: &
      Ampersand code: &

      Posted by ChrisV on 2005 02 23 at 07:59 PM • permalink


    1. Beware the Urlencodinglock, my son!
      The clause that bites, the percentage grand!
      Beware the admin bird, and shun
      The frumious Ampersand!
      (with apologies to Lewis Carroll, and to Andrea)

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 02 23 at 09:31 PM • permalink


    1. ChrisV: I know. I went into another post of Tim’s where the urls had this problem to change the mess. As soon as I remember what I did I’ll fix this one (though you guys seem to have figured out how to read the article anyway, or some of you).

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 02 23 at 11:40 PM • permalink


    1. 😡

      This post makes me sad.

      The kitty cat dance and the lost viking kittens video makes me happy, though, so it all evens out.

      Posted by Sortelli on 2005 02 24 at 02:09 AM • permalink


    1. This story sounded familiar so I did a search for “cat went berserk” and found….

      “I can tell you this. When my cat went berserk it was scary. He would start by lashing his tail and emitting low half growls half meows. Then he would turn around (away from the window and into the room) and the attack would be vicious and frenzied….”

      “My sister came home with a brand new perm once, and the cat went berserk. It didn’t attack her, but it threw a major fit, puffing up, hissing, growling, etc. She had to stay away from the cat until her hair was “right” again… It did attack her husband once, and tore his hand all to pieces.
      And it was a LOT worse when the cat was in heat. It was a MONSTER….”

      “ So when I tried to get him out of the house—which I had done umpteen times before—the cat went berserk! He latched onto my right forearm with his front claws and tried to disembowel me with his hind legs. When I wouldn’t—couldn’t!—let go, he gave me an Antichrist look, rolled back his eyes and opened his mouth wide, like a snake, and bit me for all it was worth. I don’t remember how I got him off of me and disconnected, but the next thing I knew, he was outside. Of course, blood everywhere and then a trip to the ER….”

      “A Canadian man had to be rescued by police after his cat went berserk and trapped him in a bathroom…
      It took two police officers and animal control officer Ron Sabean, to subdue the seven-year-old cat….
      The pet was snarling and hissing at the bathroom door in the house near Greenwood, Nova Scotia, when Mr Sabean arrived.
      He said: “I’ve been in this business going on 24 years and I’ve never seen a cat focus on a person like that one did.”
      He had been called by police, who were unable to catch the cat on their own…..”

      “Gerard Daigle, 80, of Quebec City, Canada, lost a pint of blood and required stitches after his cat, Touti, launched a frenzied attack on him. Daigle was giving his pet parrot a shower when he inadvertently sprayed Touti with water and the cat went berserk.
      Daigle, along with his 81-year-old wife, managed to chase the insane cat into the bedroom and slam the door. Official response included four carloads of police, who could not immediately determine why Daigle was giving his parrot a shower….”

      and so on.
      There must be many scarred cat people out there. And that’s just for the “berserk” search, who knows how many there are under “crazy,” “insane,” or “cat opens up a can of whup-ass.”

      Posted by lumberjack on 2005 02 24 at 04:41 AM • permalink


    1. Never forget that a cat is a tiny, tiny tiger.

      Sometimes they forget the “tiny” part.

      Posted by John Nowak on 2005 02 24 at 04:45 AM • permalink


    1. This type of psychotic behaviour is quite normal in my cat, unless of course he realises that it is meal time and he doesn’t have thumbs. At that point, his ability to turn on the charm is quite impressive. Once the contents of the tuna can have been dispensed, he’s pretty much back to form unless he needs to catch up on his sleep. Some days the poor bugger is awake for a whole four hours.

      Posted by Adam B on 2005 02 24 at 05:46 AM • permalink


    1. I had a deaf white cat which didn’t have berserker attacks, it was constantly insane. It would lurk beneath chairs/beds etc and leap out and sink both teeth and claws into any exposed flesh. It used to pick fights in the back yard with scrub turkeys, who would proceed to kick the living shit out of it. Ironically, we named her “Crazy”. (My folks picked her up as a kitten sitting on the median strip of a six lane freeway, watching the traffic). She was out of her tiny mind.

      Posted by Habib on 2005 02 24 at 08:13 AM • permalink


    1. As a Ridgeback owner I have no cat problem: any cat stupid enough to come over the fence is a goner. But, the neighbour’s Persian used to tease the dog by parading back and forth atop the boundary wall.

      During a period when my mum was ill a few years back we had her Blue Heeler staying with us. He was determined to get that cat and one day he did, by taking an angled run at the wall and jumping up and gettting just enough of a boost from his front legs to reach the top. He grabbed the cat and dragged it down into the yard; fortunately he had only stubs of teeth left – from chewing on rocks and bits of wood – and couldn’t manage to inflict any serious damage. He held that cat down and gave it a good gumming for ages until I got him off it. It was the funniest damn thing I’ve ever seen, the dazed cat staggering around the back yard until it came to and managed to escape. The stupid cat’s still around but I haven’t seen it on the wall since.

      Posted by J F Beck on 2005 02 24 at 09:49 AM • permalink


    1. The dumbest thing I ever did as a boy was decide, for fun, to sneak up on my sleeping cat and yell “BOO!” like I would to my kid brother.

      It took a half-hour to successfully sneak up on her, without waking her up.  It took about .273 seconds for her to swipe me twice across the face and rocket off across the street.  I’m probably lucky not to have lost an eye.

      And that was a cat who LIKED me.

      Posted by Nightfly on 2005 02 24 at 02:58 PM • permalink


    1. Sortelli-

      Cheer up…..this one is all in good fun.

      Try this:
      Kitten on a Motorcycle- Chill Out by Youth of Britian

      Posted by Bucky Katt on 2005 02 24 at 03:20 PM • permalink


    1. Hey Hyggelig, any excuse for linking to kitten pix, right? 🙂

      Posted by Old Grouch on 2005 02 24 at 03:51 PM • permalink


    1. No matter whose link I try, I keep getting a “There are no articles at this time” message on The Intelligencer website.  Maybe that’s for the best. I am an animal lover who has two kitties of her own – neither of which has ever taken more than a chunk or two of flesh out of me at one time.  (I kid!)

      I did manage to view Joel Veitch’s “Viking Cats” video.  Quite a riot!  But I found the Catprin costume site rather…uhm….strange.  I’m not opposed to ocassionally dressing-up my animals (cats, dogs. horses, goats, donkeys) in holiday gear for silly amusement but really, 150,000 yen for a dippy little hat?

      My favorite cat quote:  Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you.” – Mary Bly

      Posted by Sylvan on 2005 02 24 at 05:34 PM • permalink


    1. Cats are highly prone to what behaviorists call displacement aggression; when something REALLY upsets them and they can’t do anything about it, they might take it out on something or someone nearby.  Usually it’s short-lived and doesn’t do any serious damage, but sometimes it results in this kind of vicious berserker attack.  There are some dogs like this too, and it’s obviously worse with them- my favorite story is about a doberman prone to displacement aggression that was attack-trained and responded to the first real threat it was faced with by viciously mauling its handler.  The thugs were nonetheless so impressed by its ferocity that they took off.

      More rarely, cats and dogs both can suffer from rage syndrome, which is an epilepsy-like disorder that basically results in the critter suffering from episodes of psychotic aggression for no external reason.  Give them anti-seizure medication (if the traumatized owner doesn’t euthanize them the first time it happens), and they’re fine.  It’s especially common in Springer Spaniels.

      On the home front, we have an Akita, but he’s been raised by our Siamese since he was a small puppy and is harmless to cats.  The Siamese in question is prone to bullying the dog, and there is nothing funnier than watching the cat beat on the dog’s head like a bongo with one paw while hanging from his face with the other.  We know we should stop it, lest one day the dog realize he is five times the cat’s size and retaliate, but the cat isn’t really hurting him (Akitas have a very thick coat and a high pain threshold) and we’re usually laughing too hard to move.

      Posted by LabRat on 2005 02 24 at 07:01 PM • permalink


    1. Lab Rat – my aforementioned kitty did not react well the day we got a dog; she had been a stray and was very territorial.

      The dog was a Siberian Husky.  It didn’t stop her.  She walked up to him while he dozed in the kitchen and began hissing and spitting.  When he didn’t budge, she slashed him.  Drew blood, too.  He thought about it for a moment, then seized her by the scruff of the neck, shook her a bit, and dropped her.  That was the end of the struggle for dominance.

      We should have gven them more adjustment time, in retrospect.

      Posted by Nightfly on 2005 02 25 at 02:42 PM • permalink


    1. Nightfly- well, some crucial differences there.  My dog was a young puppy when we brought him home; all of eight weeks, which means he and the cat were about the same size.  The other difference is that our cat believes he is King of the universe, which means he is very, very confident and calm- he only smacked the dog around when he deserved it when he was still a young pup, and never used his claws.  (That changed somewhat as the dog grew.)

      As to the latter… probably.

      Posted by LabRat on 2005 02 25 at 03:53 PM • permalink


  1. Can’t find anything about the kitty, but I love the name of local historical icon Sir McKenzie Bowell!!

    Posted by Consuela Potez on 2005 02 27 at 02:57 AM • permalink