Cars praised, denounced

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 01:49 pm

Boris Johnson writes, and we all may agree:

The spread of the car, like the spread of literacy, has been a fantastic and unstoppable force for liberty and democracy.

Yet some – including those appearing in the play machines, machines, machines, machines, machines, machines, machines – oppose Johnson:

“What’s cooking in the universe?” is the show’s opening question. And, as it turns out, they mean the cooking literally, as everything starts dripping and leaking, a nod to global warming.

Here’s one of the show’s performers:


Posted by Tim B. on 06/04/2007 at 10:38 AM
    1. Looks like he’s been thrown away.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 10:57 AM • permalink


    1. Is this one of those “plays” where costuming, punctuation, capitalization, and scripts are optional. Because I notice that such plays did much better after the Socialists started funding art via the gummint.

      Posted by brett_l on 2007 06 04 at 10:59 AM • permalink


    1. Hey! I saw that guy wandering the streets telling everyone he met “Repent! The End is Near!”

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 06 04 at 11:16 AM • permalink


    1. Seats are only $20 to $25! And for $30, you don’t have to ever see or hear about this play again (make checks payable to Plays Abolished from the Cognitive Orbit).

      Is Richard McEnroe out there? Richard, how do you think this stacks up against, say, Restoration Comedies? Congreve’s reputation in any danger?

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 11:21 AM • permalink


    1. Actually, that guy could pass for the average leftist in any city of the US.  Especially with the satisfied self-righteous smirk.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 04 at 11:23 AM • permalink


    1. The signs of suffering are EVERYWHERE…yet you mock it.

      For shame.

      Posted by tree hugging sister on 2007 06 04 at 11:33 AM • permalink


    1. Rube Goldberg meets Marcel Duchamp. Al Gore meets Dr. Strangelove. Kubrick’s 2001 meets Beckett’s Endgame.

      Unemployable playwright meets unemployable actor.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 04 at 11:43 AM • permalink


    1. 7. Unemployable playwright meets unemployable actor.

      Haw! How that one did make me laugh!

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 11:58 AM • permalink


    1. In other news from the wonderful, wacky world of art: objet d’hair .

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 12:21 PM • permalink


    1. Is that the Tibetan tin-foil hat he is modelling?

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 06 04 at 12:23 PM • permalink


    1. #10: Yes; made with the prosthetic hip of a yeti.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 12:41 PM • permalink


    1. #6: Say, Sis: is that what they call a bird dog?

      Really nice flowers, incidentally. I’m right partial to zinnias, myself.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 12:44 PM • permalink


    1. Didn’t I see him begging at Darlinghurst the other day?

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 04 at 12:46 PM • permalink


    1. Anybody find it a bit odd that he is wearing a urinal cake on his forehead? The show may be worth watching on those grounds alone, if they follow the first dramatist’s rule: “Never put a gun on the wall in an opening scene unless you intend to shoot somebody with it before the play is through”

      Posted by moptop on 2007 06 04 at 01:37 PM • permalink


    1. It might also explain the plastic cape.

      Posted by moptop on 2007 06 04 at 01:38 PM • permalink


    1. At least he’s got (I thought, anyway) what appears to be a large yellow blinking light on his head to warn the sane to keep a safe distance away.

      Plus I’m sure his metastized iPod is tuned into GAIA radio – “All warming, all the time!”

      Posted by Tex Lovera on 2007 06 04 at 01:42 PM • permalink


    1. an elaborate goof that is part three big boys messing around with a bunch of junk in a garage (literally – the theater is in a garage in South Philly) and part serious political message.

      “I know!  Hey, kids!  Let’s put on a show!”

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 04 at 02:02 PM • permalink


    1. Further to Paco’s link, Roger Kimball explains “Why the Art World is a Disaster”.

      “On the contrary, the art world has wholeheartedly embraced art as an exercise in political sermonizing and anti-humanistic persiflage, which has assured the increasing trivialization of the practice of art. “


      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 06 04 at 02:38 PM • permalink


    1. Another candidate for a “random” prolonged and merciless beating by jackbooted Gaiagnostics devotees.

      Posted by CB on 2007 06 04 at 02:42 PM • permalink


    1. So, that was one of those things I ran over in my pureed panda powered SUV on the way to Bones in Atlanta.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 06 04 at 03:14 PM • permalink


    1. Gabriel Quinn Bauriedel, King of the Snail People. Happy slime trails, your majesty!

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 04 at 03:30 PM • permalink


    1. So that’s what all those recent grads of the Columbia School of Journalism are doing.  I was wondering.  Thanks for the update Tim.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 04 at 04:01 PM • permalink


    1. Probably should have simply said J-School grads since he is Aussie, but you get the drill.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 04 at 04:03 PM • permalink



    1. Stilts and white gloves are included with this lovely outfit!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 06 04 at 05:43 PM • permalink


    1. #9 Paco, they’re wankers.

      Posted by kae on 2007 06 04 at 06:11 PM • permalink


    1. #14 ‘Urinal cake’?
      Oh, you mean loo-lolly!

      Posted by kae on 2007 06 04 at 06:14 PM • permalink


    1. To be honest I wouldn’t have used Boris Johnson to praise the car, because frankly his judgement is rather suspect.

      Posted by Ross on 2007 06 04 at 06:28 PM • permalink


    1. There are so many things wrong with this that I don’t know where to start…

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 06 04 at 07:14 PM • permalink


    1. #13
      If that ain’t a fruit …

      Isn’t the jock strap in the wrong place … maybe not?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 04 at 07:57 PM • permalink


    1. In entry in the Oxford English dictionary under “smug” is in fact that picture.

      Posted by Contrail on 2007 06 04 at 08:01 PM • permalink


    1. spazzz.jpg

      Nice touch!

      Posted by Admonkeystrator on 2007 06 04 at 08:04 PM • permalink


    1. … to slice a banana, or pet a cat, or pour cereal into a bowl.

      “What’s cooking in the universe?”

      Stewed fruits?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 04 at 08:04 PM • permalink


    1. That is not a trough lolly – it is quite clearly a refelctor.

      You may mock him, but he knows he has a reflector to reflect away the secret radio waves that secret CIA satellites use to pump BusHitler-Halliburton propaganda into our minds.

      Oh yes, Mr Reflecty-Head knows what’s up…

      Posted by Apparatchik on 2007 06 04 at 08:04 PM • permalink


    1. Caption contest?

      ‘Hey mum, look what I found in the closet!’

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 04 at 08:08 PM • permalink


    1. Let’s continue to give these pathetic wankers arts grants and a nice little place in which to perform. Seriously. It keeps them out of the way and out of causing real harm, like distracting a hyperactive two-year-old.

      Posted by calliope on 2007 06 04 at 08:30 PM • permalink


    1. And just think, Maureen Dowd missed this guy on her “find a man” tour of OZ last year.

      Sorta makes you start to question that fate thingy doesn’ it?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 04 at 08:40 PM • permalink


    1. It ain’t Ibsen.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 06 04 at 09:25 PM • permalink


    1. Modern theatre- without it derros would be getting squeezed out of their skips by unemployable thespians gentrifying their refuse refuges. At least the usual denizens of such abodes are delusional due to chemical imbalances in their cerebellums, the writers, performers and (pitifully small) audiences for such performances lack such an excuse, yet firmly believe in their obvious talent, awareness of all of societal ills and possession of the answers for same.

      Really I think the big papier mache’ head genre is really the limit of their abilities, but it would be judgmental and oppressive of me to enforce this view on them, or fail to supply adequate finance for their forays into fantasy.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 06 04 at 09:38 PM • permalink


    1. Is that the Tibetan tin-foil hat he is modelling?

      When Alexander the Great conquered Asia, he passed through Tibet.
      The Tibetans revered Alexander as Godlike – they even fashioned ceremonial hats after the helmets worn by Alexander’s pikemen.

      I wonder if this guy knows he is wearing a RWDB helmet.

      Posted by Mike_W on 2007 06 04 at 09:40 PM • permalink


    1. Everything this moron is wearing is made of plastic.
      A petrochemical by-product I believe that is manufactured in factories that belch CO2 into the sky.

      Oh well, just more hypocrisy. Who cares?

      Posted by Bonmot on 2007 06 04 at 09:43 PM • permalink


    1. Just a link

      Posted by moptop on 2007 06 04 at 10:03 PM • permalink


    1. Hi Tim Tam!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 06 04 at 10:17 PM • permalink


    1. #35
      Mum: Come out of the closet, Dear!
      Gabriel: Oh, I did that years ago …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 04 at 10:18 PM • permalink


    1. 40—Actually, it looks to me like one of the foam neck braces we have on the ambulance … with a few embellishments. At least I don’t think our models have the earphones and shiny red reflectors.  They do, from time to time, have equivalent-model morons underneath them, though.

      Posted by Celaeno on 2007 06 04 at 10:44 PM • permalink


    1. This arse-hat is old hat …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 04 at 10:47 PM • permalink


    1. I’d sooner sit through the only three ever made Marvin the Martian Looney Tunes on an endless loop than try to endure until interval this turgid twaddle.

      When I was a dozy young lefty I used to go to this sort of shit and sit politely, clap and hoot at the correct times and discuss the significance earnestly at the bar during breaks (mind you I was usually blotto, and trying to get a leg over with some hirsuite harpy), much akin to the obviously chemically enhanced studio audiences for such blather as Enough RopeThe Chaser and the late and very unlamented Glass House(BTW- anyone have any idea how well Willy Anderson is rating in the real world? I’ve never bothered to listen- Biffo Bob, Ratface and the mandatory Fat Loud Slappper on commmercial FM breakfast is bad enough let alone some smug, self-rightous twerp who’s firmly convinced of his own intellectual and moral superiority during the trip home through the mobile chicane- I reckon it’d be enough to tip me over the edge Falling Down style).

      Here’s a hint- even if you do get into her pants, they’ll be extra large cottontails and the contents aren’t really worth having to endure all the preliminary and posthumous bollocks- I reccommend drunkeness, and if particularly priapetic a Kon Tiki tour.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 06 04 at 10:56 PM • permalink


    1. #40–sweet, sweet irony.

      Seriously, though, what is that thing he’s wearing? It looks like a prop from a sci-fi flick circa 1955, predicting the vast and confusing world of the year 2000 and featuring Smirkboy up there as Martian Stormtrooper #7.

      I long for the days when art occasionally featured something that was just interesting and/or pretty. But noooo, everything’s gotta make a statement nowadays.


      Posted by Tungsten Monk on 2007 06 04 at 11:52 PM • permalink


    1. #48 Tungsten Monk
      Not sure what he is wearing, but it’s made out of a neck brace. And some other stuff.

      I know what you mean about “everything’s gotta make a statement nowadays”.

      Performance art, however, must usually be explained so that you know what the hell the statement is!

      Schmucks are the ones that pay to see it.

      Posted by kae on 2007 06 04 at 11:56 PM • permalink


    1. Schmucks also say they like it.

      Posted by kae on 2007 06 04 at 11:57 PM • permalink


    1. #47

      Woofing at Marvin the Martian!
      What’s next?  Little Henery Hawk or perhaps Crusader Rabbit!?  Maybe you’d like to stick it to Cecil the Sea Sick Sea Serpent!

      Bully!  I’m aghast!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 05 at 12:03 AM • permalink


    1. #48 Tungsten

      To answer your question.  It’s an old Dr Who costume that didn’t make the final cut.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 05 at 12:21 AM • permalink


    1. Brings new meaning to Dr Seuss’ ‘Cat in the hat’ … or should that be ‘Crap in a hat’?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 12:24 AM • permalink


    1. #49
      I thought it might have been soft porn for Paul McCartney …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 12:28 AM • permalink


    1. I liked the two Marvin features- Duck Dodgers in the 24th and a half Century and Hardevil Hare were I think cuck Jones’ best work; latter day Marvin ‘toons are shit, but aren’t they all? Nary a mention of a bloody Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator to be seen.

      Hasty Hare was a bit weaker, and I hate Bugs Bunny an’ all- I’d like to see the twat get myxamatosis.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 06 05 at 12:29 AM • permalink


    1. Maybe we can get Elmer Fudd some shooting lessons.  Just don’t take him to the Yosemite Sam range!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 05 at 12:34 AM • permalink


    1. I reckon the best work of Warners is a toss-up between Bye Bye Bluebeard and Chow Hound– both more vicious, violent, depraved and dark than anything produced by Quentin Tarantino, let alone Itchy and Scratchy.

      I tend to favour the latter mostly for the sheer brutality of the “Dis time we didn’t forget the gwavy” revenge.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 06 05 at 12:42 AM • permalink


    1. Bwahaha!

      You’re a hard and cruel person Habib!  Professional help should never be the last option.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 06 05 at 12:56 AM • permalink


    1. He is wearing a large plastic sack. Perhaps in the final act he pulls it over his head and becomes truly carbon neutral.

      Posted by squawkbox on 2007 06 05 at 02:20 AM • permalink


    1. That pic says to me:
      “Yes, that’s right, I’m dressed like a buffoon. And the ironic part is, I’m actually a moron!”

      Posted by mojo on 2007 06 05 at 02:48 AM • permalink


    1. #7
      Habib, your mate is doing okay. Especially last week when he caught Kevni telling a porky.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 06 05 at 05:26 AM • permalink


    1. I said come dressed as a Cossack, not a cocksack!

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 06:32 AM • permalink


    1. Usually when you see someone in a safety helmet, it’s because bad luck or circumstance has left them in a condition where bumping into things is either more commonplace or injurious than for we whose brains have never been seriously damaged.

      In this case though I suspect it’s covering a superfluous penis.

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 06 05 at 06:33 AM • permalink


    1. He’s Contest #12, Ernie, at Commodore Klaus’ 5th Annual Gay Porn Review and Taffy Pull eagerly awaiting his turn at the hot dog eating contest.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 05 at 08:45 AM • permalink


    1. #62 egg_!!!! HAAAAA!!!

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 06 05 at 08:46 AM • permalink


    1. Zinnias are about the only thing that can handle the heat here and not look pooped, Paco.  As for the ‘bird dog’, ha. Ha. Ha.  That would imply he’s a ‘working’ dog.  He’s whacha call a ‘water’ dog, made for lazy days at the beach, drinking beer and loungin’ on the couch, with no discernible effort to reach either.

      Posted by tree hugging sister on 2007 06 05 at 10:31 AM • permalink


    1. Damn!  Looks like his hat is made out of an old neck brace that our rescue squad threw away to make room for our nifty adjustable ones.  I could have made a boatload of money selling them to gullible fools.

      Sigh.  There goes my PACO™ bonus for this quarter.

      Imperial Keeper

      Posted by Elizabeth Imperial Keeper on 2007 06 05 at 10:35 AM • permalink


    1. #66: . . .made for lazy days at the beach, drinking beer and loungin’ on the couch, with no discernible effort to reach either.

      Good lord! I aspire to a life like that! What unobservant twit ever came up with the notion that “a dog’s life” is a reference to hardship.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 11:22 AM • permalink


    1. #62 & #65: Egg – I join T-Bob in his guffaw; that was hilarious!

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 05 at 11:23 AM • permalink


    1. #65 & #69 🙂

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 06 05 at 09:45 PM • permalink


    1. Ya know, I really hate that I crossposted with egg_ . I coulda been a contender -whatever the hell that means- but I don’t think anyone’s gonna top the cossack joke…

      Posted by wreckage on 2007 06 06 at 08:46 AM • permalink


    1. #42 Why do math people have to ruin everything beautiful by assigning numbers to it?

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 07 at 09:43 AM • permalink


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