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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 03:53 am
• Concerts in Sydney, Tokyo, Johannesburg, Shanghai, Hamburg, London, New Jersey and Rio de Janeiro.
• A hoped-for audience of two billion.
• 6,000 parties in 119 countries.
• Saturation coverage from TV, radio, and the internet.
• 150 acts.
• 60 short films, 30 public service announcements, and a book.
Consider the vast carbon footprint of Live Earth, during which the world’s most indulgent people – rock stars – will demand that their followers pledge to “take personal action to help solve the climate crises by reducing my own C02 pollution as much as I can.”
Has Live Earth performer Keith Urban sold his Bentleys yet? (Actually, merely selling those 12-cylinder babies won’t reduce C02 emissions; he must destroy them.) I’ve been trying to come up with a violently destructive Gaia-raping stunt for us to participate in on Live Earth day, but it is literally impossible for even several thousand non-millionaires to match Live Earth’s own level of eco-vandalism while remaining within their means and the law.
We’ve been out-carboned by Big Environmentalism. There’s simply no way we can come close to matching the colossal carbon output of Gore and his musical mates. But it’s not as though Live Earth is grotesquely, hypocritically excessive, oh no; as executive producer Keith Wall explains:
Most artists are coming from nearby areas. Madonna, for example, lives in London and will be performing at Wembley.
And once at Wembley – a tiny village green, I believe – Madonna’s acoustic performance will be enjoyed by 200 vegans, all of whom live within five miles and travel by mule. As for Gore himself, he’ll be at the New Jersey show. Again, Wall explains:
We don’t want him getting on planes burning carbon.
- Turn the bentleys into Iron powder then seed the iron into the southern oceans, encouraging plankton to bloom and use up the plantfood from the air.Posted by Rob Read on 2007 07 02 at 11:30 AM • permalink
- But Al can board planes and ride in limousines because he gives money to himself to invest in his own company to offset his carbon emissions. And he encourages everyone to do the same: invest in Al’s company and he’ll neutralize all of your carbon sins.
If you check out this article on Johann Tetzel then you’ll find that Al isn’t the first to come up with this wizard wheeze by a long chalk.
- We don’t want him getting on planes burning carbon.
Like we want him in Jersey?
I’ll have a big cook out and grill as much flesh as possible.
Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 07 02 at 11:32 AM • permalink
- I heard a radio wag the other day say “This is like raising awareness for a drought by holding a car wash”.Posted by Some0Seppo on 2007 07 02 at 11:40 AM • permalink
- I’m going to start burning my trash in an incinerator, just like in the 1970’s. Screw the EPA.Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 02 at 11:42 AM • permalink
- From what I read, ticket sales are down. Be really green—stay home!
Most artists are coming from nearby areas. Madonna, for example, lives in London and will be performing at Wembley.
After which she’ll likely fly on a private jet to one of several vacation homes. Her CO2 generation has to be 10 to 100 times that for any person on this blog. Yet does she get criticized or ostracized? Hell no, because she sings from the same hymn book.
Hypocrisy!
Fraud!
Poseurs!
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 02 at 11:48 AM • permalink
- The biggest indictment of Al Gore was his own insistence, while Vice President, on flying to Tennessee every two years, with his entourage, then taking a motorcade to his registered polling place, just to be seen casting his ballot.
He could’ve voted by mail, absentee.
Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 07 02 at 11:55 AM • permalink
- I think that I’ll visit the range that day. Lead and powder fumes released into the atmosphere, following the old ways of weapons ownership, and simply making noise. Add in the gasoline consumed traveling to and from the range, and, oh frabjous day!
I’ll top it off by munching on parts of a well cooked dead animal purchased especially for the occasion.
Greenies and vegans around the world will be pissed at my farting in their general direction.
Eh? What’s that? The Goreacle™ and his Seven Points? He can kiss my ass.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 02 at 11:57 AM • permalink
- “We don’t want him getting on planes burning carbon.”
As opposed to what, windmill powered planes?
Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 07 02 at 12:05 PM • permalink
- Wow. Tim Blair is mentioned by Mark Steyn.
While, paco is mentioned by both Ed Driscoll and Jules Crittenden (“the great Paco of Blair fame”).
Low profile, gentlemen. Where’s the low profile Karl has insisted on?
Posted by wronwright on 2007 07 02 at 12:10 PM • permalink
- #11 – Gliders. Made of hemp. Launched by rubber bands. Which are stretched by a legion of vegans.Posted by Crispytoast on 2007 07 02 at 12:31 PM • permalink
- It’s all about feeling like you are doing something (which is easy) rather than actually doing something (which is hard).Posted by charles austin on 2007 07 02 at 01:18 PM • permalink
- “We don’t want him getting on planes burning carbon.”
Al Gore’s always on the move. Considering that he’s never home, it makes the gigantic power consumption of his residence even more shocking.
Big ol’ hypocrite.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 01:33 PM • permalink
- Time for a repríse:
Gray winter’s day
When the ice on the street
And the new-falling sleet turns to glass
A G touches down
And it taxiis around
Pushin’ out all that good turbine gas
Find the meeting hall
C-note ticket, please
And the Powerpoint slides tellin’ you and me
It’s Al, Brother Al, say
Brother Al’s Travelin’ Globe-Warmin’ Show
The newsies’ll see us so load up the Prius
And ev’ryone goes
‘Cause everyone knows
Brother Al’s shows(Hallelujah)
(Halle Hallelujah)Gaians,
You’ve got a checkbook and a credit card.
And when the Escalade needs gas or the bodyguards need ammo
You whip out the credit card, ‘cause that’s what it’s there for.
And when your heart is troubled over your carbon footprint
Why, you send me a check and I’ll plant a tree for you
‘Cause that’s what I’m here for.Take your pen in hand
Send some funds my way
We can save the world
Bring a better day
Halle (Halle) Halle (Halle)
Halle (Halle) Halle (Halle)
It’s Al, Brother Al, say
Brother Al’s Travelin’ Globe-Warmin’ Show
Yes, say Al, Brother Al, say
Brother Al’s Travelin’ Globe-Warmin’ show
The newsies’ll see us so load up the Prius
And ev’ryone goes…Regards,
Ric
- Excellent, Ric!Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 02 at 01:52 PM • permalink
- HEY AL HOW MUCH ENERGY DO YOUR OTHER HOMES
USE?“When Al and Tipper Gore had recovered from the initial shock of the 2000 election, they spent $2.3 million on the house they live in now: a hundred-year-old Colonial on Lynwood Boulevard, in the Belle Meade section of Nashville. They still own a place in Arlington, Virginia—a house that was built by Tipper’s grandfather—and a ninety-acre cattle farm in the Gore family seat of Carthage, Tennessee…”
How do you spell hypocrite? G-O-R-E
Al Gore’s wife, Tipper, is a big advocate for helping the homeless, btw.
“A 2004 black Cadillac, which Gore drives, was parked in the driveway. A ’65 Mustang—a Valentine’s Day gift from Al to Tipper—was parked in the garage.”
ROTFL
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 03:15 PM • permalink
- #15. Forget the Goresters lame-o concert, I’d pay to see that!Posted by Bruce Rheinstein on 2007 07 02 at 03:27 PM • permalink
- Prince Albert advises:
“Reduce the number of miles you drive by walking, biking, carpooling or taking mass transit wherever possible…”
Please note that 2004 Cads and 1965 Stangs qualify as mass transit in some circumstances.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 03:37 PM • permalink
- I am going to celebrate Live Earth by launching the world’s largest tire fire.
It’ll be the only tire fire that astronauts can see from the moon!
Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2007 07 02 at 04:01 PM • permalink
- Prince Albert: It “ought to be possible to establish a coordinated global program to accomplish the strategic goal of completely eliminating the internal combustion engine over, say, a twenty-five year period.”
Not if you keep buying Cadillacs.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 04:07 PM • permalink
- I wrote this brief poem in honor of Prince Albert…
My name is Al, on the enviroment I do teach.
But, never shall I practice what I preach.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 04:10 PM • permalink
- achmed, we also alcoholic beverages, forbidden drinks for Muslims!
So…..how about a beer?
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 07 02 at 04:37 PM • permalink
- More bad poetry…
Once there was a leader, Prince Albert was his name
and saving dear old Gaia was the source of his great fame
one day this mighty leader sternly did decree
that it would be mass transit for all the peasantry
For their autos were a danger, and it was only fair
that the common folk ride buses (lest they overheat the air)
but, princes they are special, and luxury must not lack
hence Al Gore and Tipper…and their brand new cadillac.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 07 02 at 05:05 PM • permalink
- Nuke that monster volcano in Yellowstone. TV says it holds enough nasty shit to wipe out the whole Northern Hemisphere. Cheap, effective and guaranteed to ruin the Gorbot’s PR flack forever.Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2007 07 02 at 05:39 PM • permalink
- “Are we expected to believe the Goracle is going to get from Tennessee to NJ by some other way?”
Well if he drives he just might be forced to stop and eat at a Shoney’s (a low-priced family restaurant, don’t you know) and we couldn’t have that. The man used to be Vice President, after all.
- #24, famed environmentalist and carer about the homeless Barbra Streisand, last I looked, had one big house and two big apartments, all kept at about 64 degrees whether she was there or not. They have a total of about 13 bedrooms. I suggest she use one of the bedrooms and let homeless people use the other twelve. And, she should leave the thermostat at 64 in the winter but crank it up to 85 in the summer—especially in NYC.Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2007 07 02 at 07:50 PM • permalink
- BTW, I think in order to avoid blowing his credibility altogether (I know, I know; I mean with all those idiots out there), Al should consider just drifting from event to event in a green zeppelin. The great climate-change airship, the Luftschiff Gore Gurke, would be a tremendous marketing gimmick, and would hold strong appeal for the child-like minds that make up Al’s demographic.
- I christened my new chainsaw with fresh, gooey Gaia blood yesterday. Dropped 4 trees and chopped up their beseeching limbs as they lay trembling and powerless before me.
And next year I will burn them in nice dismembered chunks in my wood heater.
I plan to get quite a few trailer loads this year.
Mmmmm, Gaia raping!!!Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 07 02 at 08:28 PM • permalink
- The recent report on BBC bias took as emblematic its blanket coverage of the Make Poverty History concerts—which were not even fund-raisers but meant to strongarm a G8 meeting into continuing failed aid policies—while Britons were more interested in the Trafalgar bicentenary celebrations. Has the BBC learnt anything? The World Service seems to advertise its blanket coverage of Live Earth every 15 minutes.
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