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Last updated on March 6th, 2018 at 12:30 am
It’s a well-known scientific fact that any cause or individual championed by Chris Sheil will be doomed by his support. Wesley Clark, John Kerry, Mark Latham, Craig Knowles, Howard Dean, Kevin Rudd … all of them have been taken down by the Chris of Death, who lately turned his deadly praise-laser on Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards:
Keith and Ronnie were probably in the best form I’ve ever caught them, ripping at will and weaving all over the place.
I know; it’s sad. Anyway, shortly thereafter Richards – who, despite his remarkable appetites, rarely requires medical attention – fell out of a palm tree and was hospitalised. Strike one to Chris! This wasn’t enough for the Elizabeth Bay Doombringer, however, who maliciously sent another post Richards’ way:
He’s been released, and a spokesman for the band said he’s fine.
The curse only took a few days to kick in:
Rolling Stones star Keith Richards is to undergo brain surgery … Surgeons plan to drill a hole in the skull of the guitarist and drain blood from his brain.
That’s strike two. Any further Panty Sheil updates and it’s curtains for Keith.
UPDATE. Somehow, long-term Sheil love target Bob Dylan—Sheil calls him “Bob”; evidently they’re close friends—is doing fine. Must’ve signed some sort of pact. Lucinda Williams, however, wasn’t immune. The dude has got no mercy!
UPDATE II. Richard McEnroe: “Is there any chance we can get Chris to embrace Islam?”
UPDATE III. RebeccaH: “How about a sweet ol’ hug and a smooch for Mother Sheehan? She’s been way too comfortable in that ditch. Time for a gully-washer.”
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