Bob on the job

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Last updated on July 27th, 2017 at 04:57 am

Picture Bob Ellis at his computer, tapping out another column for the weekly Byron Bay Bong Trader, stomach furrowed with concentration. Tap, tap … sip … tap … gurgle … taptap …  clink … CLANK! … oh no! Shiraz* all over the keyboard! Computer broken, and column due tonight! Must write column using trusty old wine-resistant typewriter. That’ll mean no internet-enabled fact-checking, but Bob’s pretty sure he’ll get his story straight:

It looks like it was wrong of Saddam Hussein to kill or approve the killing of 143 people some of whom had tried to kill him, and he should therefore (I suppose) hang by the neck until he is dead for his immoderacy.

This seems fair enough. But it also seems by the same measure, or a worse one, wrong of George Bush to kill or approve the killing of one hundred thousand people in Afghanistan because one or two, or ten or twenty of them, tried to kill him and his Congress on 9/11, and he should therefore, what, fry in Old Sparky …

How many people were killed on 9/11? Can’t remember; let’s just leave that out. One hundred thousand dead in Afghanistan? Yep; no forgetting Lancet’s famous report. They should try something like that in Iraq! To stop readers flicking past to the Mostly Mao ads, Bob again bemoans the destruction of Saddam’s luxury yacht—a dark episode that has haunted Ellis for nearly two years. And to conclude, a brief examination of international trade:

How many deaths, how many divorces, how many ruined childhoods and fractured educations does globalism have to cause before we see it, and condemn it, as the pandemic it is?

Not to mention all the ruined yachts of dictators! Speaking of potential divorce causes, I wonder how baby Juliet is doing these days …

(Via Ellis editor Raff)

Posted by Tim B. on 10/26/2005 at 03:47 AM
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