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Last updated on May 20th, 2017 at 06:49 am
Local leftoad Bob Ellis tries out some of that Hillary-hatin’ so popular these days with the Obamic US left:
I’m getting to hate this woman.
Her towering frigidity, blazing hubris, bellowing mendacity, varying accent from region to region, her high school-standard acting and ceaseless haughty impersonation of Debbie Reynolds in The Unsinkable Molly Brown have got me properly simmering …
She is a stranger to consistency, sincerity and (at a guess) oral sex …
By contrast, Barack Obama is …
… an intelligent, good and measured public man of, thus far, clean conscience.
We know he’s faithful to his wife.
Presumably due to her oral talents, if Bob’s any judge. Reader Perry picks up on that point in comments at Ellis’s (taxpayer funded) site:
How dare you add a woman’s perceived willingness to engage in oral sex as a marker of her character … Sexist scum.
To which Bob charmingly replies:
I wouldn’t normally have raised this aspect of her private life but Hillary’s failure to ‘keep the dog on the porch’, as the famous Arkansas phrase puts it, had this not then caused, or partly caused Monica, the impeachment, Karl Rove’s ‘morality politics’, Gore’s loss, Bush’s win and, by global warming, the end of the world; like the length of Cleopatra’s nose it’s been, as it turns out, a big factor in everything that followed including a million deaths in Iraq and therefore probably worth noting by historians like me.
There you have it: according to Ellis, Hillary Clinton’s mouth is – by inactivity – the cause of one million Iraqi deaths and “the end of the world”. Another commenter asks of Bob:
When did marital fidelity suddenly become a virtue in your eyes?
(Via Currency Lad)
UPDATE. “Amazing,” writes Mark Steyn. “The mouth that launched a million deaths. Bill was denied, people died.”
UPDATE II. Ellis wasn’t previously so alarmed by the prospect of President Hillary. In 2005 he mentioned “the Presidential glow of Hillary Clinton”, and in 2003 came one of Bob’s always-accurate predictions:
Bush will be out of the White House and Dean, or Gephardt, or Gore, or Hillary Clinton in it, with Wesley Clark as Vice-President, by this time next year. And the US out of Iraq by July. See if I’m wrong.
You keep saying that, Bob. And we keep seeing it.
UPDATE III. A view from the left:
There’s a sad trend of self-proclaimed leftist men snapping and hurling sexist slurs in weirdly demented ways, and Ellis’ drivel is simply another example of it.
UPDATE IV. And further from the moderate left:
Something tells me Mr. Ellis has some serious emotional issues he needs to work out.
and therefore probably worth noting by historians like me.
Getting at least one fact right per sentence might be a first step before this guy starts pretending to be a(n) historian.
Posted by Crispytoast on 2008 05 02 at 03:09 PM • permalink
If Grover Cleveland siad it once he said it a thousand times:
“But, think man, if the President of the United State is undeserving of an adequate hummer, who is?”
Posted by Bill Spencer on 2008 05 02 at 03:49 PM • permalink
I wouldn’t normally have raised this aspect of her private life but Hillary’s failure to ‘keep the dog on the porch’, as the famous Arkansas phrase puts it, had this not then caused, or partly caused Monica, the impeachment, Karl Rove’s ‘morality politics’, Gore’s loss, Bush’s win and, by global warming, the end of the world; like the length of Cleopatra’s nose it’s been, as it turns out, a big factor in everything that followed including a million deaths in Iraq and therefore probably worth noting by historians like me.
Well, scoff and criticize all you like. But it makes as much sense as most of the other crap that comes from the leftwing.
Posted by wronwright on 2008 05 02 at 03:49 PM • permalink
I didn’t realize that Pennsylvania was “Amish-cluttered”. What are they, lying about on the roads and sidewalks like so much trash? I had the impression they were hardworking people who kept to themselves. This dude is an absolute wanker.
Plus, we “know” Obama’s been faithful? How, pray tell? Admittedly, the wife probably keeps him in line, but if he’s been discreet, how the heck would we know if he strays.
And I doubt any woman could have made Bill “keep the dog on the porch”, no matter what skills she had. Yikes.
Posted by Infidel Librarian on 2008 05 02 at 04:20 PM • permalink
I wouldn’t normally have raised this aspect of her private life but Hillary’s failure to ‘keep the dog on the porch’, as the famous Arkansas phrase puts it, had this not then caused, or partly caused Monica, the impeachment, Karl Rove’s ‘morality politics’, Gore’s loss, Bush’s win and, by global warming, the end of the world; like the length of Cleopatra’s nose it’s been, as it turns out, a big factor in everything that followed including a million deaths in Iraq and therefore probably worth noting by historians like me.
I call dibs on this sentence for the Bulwer-Lytton contest.
Bob is right. If Hillary had spent more time takin’ care of business, the history of the Clinton presidency could have turned out differently.
As the immortal Chris Rock put it on Bigger and Blacker:
See, this whole Monica Lewinsky scandal,
a lot of this shit is Hillary’s fault.That’s right, l said it.
l said it. lt had to be said. Somebody got to say it.
Everybody’s like, ‘’Hillary’s a hero.’’ No, she ain’t.
Aquaman’s a hero.
He can talk to the fishes. What the fuck can Hillary do?
A lot of this shit is Hillary’s fault, ‘cause, ladies, you know your man.
You know your man better than he knows himself.
You know what kind of man you got.
You know if you got the crazy, need-a-blowjob-all-the-time man.
So sometimes you gotta save your man from himself.
So you know what happens if he don’t get his medicine.
So Hillary Clinton put us all in danger.
She put the security of the free world in jeopardy…
and she needs to suffer the consequences for her actions.
That’s right, she’s the First Lady.
She’s supposed to be the first one on her knees to suck his dick!
Shit!
That’s right. Monica Lewinsky shouldn’t have even stood a chance.
Hillary’s supposed to already be down there like, ‘’Hey, l got it.
Posted by Mystery Meat on 2008 05 02 at 04:26 PM • permalink
Impeach Hillary!
Ash, given how lefties are pining to impeach Bush after he leaves office, impeaching Hillary before she wins the election is completely within their world view.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 02 at 04:29 PM • permalink
#10: I believe it’s short for “a million bazillion” which is the current term of art for “it’s an unbelievably HUGE number but I can’t be arsed to look it up, especially because I have a sneaking suspicion that the real number is a lot smaller than would be helpful to any argument I feel like making.”
Wasn’t it the leftards who spent the entire impeachment process telling us that infidelity to your wife does not make you a bad President?
If lack of adequate fellative talent can lead to the deaths of a million people, then it is my social duty to go home and conscientiously hone my skills.
Posted by WonderWoman on 2008 05 02 at 04:29 PM • permalink
I think the number we’re all reaching for is “a jillion squillion gazillion.”
Which by an amazing coincidence is precisely the number of blow jobs I have not received during my life. Come on, ladies, people are dying!
Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 05 02 at 04:41 PM • permalink
Was Ellis ever particularly anti-Hillary in the days B.O. (“Before Obama”)? It is not a facetious question, since I am generally unacquainted with Ellis’ opinion pieces; and frankly, if this pile of convenient Hillary-hate is typical of his oeuvre, it’s not surprising that he is a stranger to me. Not that he is wrong in his catalog of many of her faults; but to imply that her failure, or disinclination, to satisfy Bill in some of his wilder sexual longings was the slippery slope that led to what Ellis takes to be the hell that is Bush’s America seems grossly unfair – not to mention positively caddish.
“Bill was denied, people died.”
Steyn, of course.
Posted by WingDynasty on 2008 05 02 at 05:21 PM • permalink
#13. Thanks for the hilarious Chris Rock script, here’s the vision, about three minutes in.
Wasn’t it the leftards who spent the entire impeachment process telling us that infidelity to your wife does not make you a bad President?
Well, they needed to use SOMETHING to divert attention from the whole “perjury is a crime” concept.
Posted by Patrick Chester on 2008 05 02 at 05:58 PM • permalink
I call dibs on this sentence for the Bulwer-Lytton contest.
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest is limited to, well… fiction, however, I recently suggested the “Tracee Hutchison Trophee” for ridiculously purple prose in the cause of journalism.
Bob Ellis would certainly be a fine nominee.
;^)
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 02 at 06:00 PM • permalink
#10 Where did this figure come from?
Progressive calculator.
Posted by Deborah Leigh on 2008 05 02 at 06:01 PM • permalink
Historian….Well I guess he has a memory of some sort. He used to refer to himself as a “social commentator” – Translation…”I mingle with people” well judging by the crowd that ‘tard keeps I guess that’s close enough.
Funny how people like Ellis first of all jutsify their output of hatred towards anyone in their crowd who is not the flavour of the month..ie H Clinton but then twist it around to direct that hatred towards their favourite pet hate of the decade (ie Bush in that post..Howard in others)
Ha – it looks like Ellis has been reading the children’s book Because a Little Bug Went Ka-Choo! the contents of which are summarised as “The mere sneeze of a bug triggers a chain reaction involving, among others, cows, turtles, policemen, and an entire circus parade.”
Yes Bob, I used to read that book to my children about 20 years ago now. They loved it and I enjoyed reading it. But it looks like you are still enjoying reading it and have gone one step further and applied its principles. So, presumably Hillary = Little Bug and it all proceeds from there.
Well done!
Guys, don’t criticise. from the moment uncle Bob linked global warming with a lack of oral sex, the field opened up for those of us who aren’t low life presidents.
Its now pefectly legitimate to threaten to cause global warming if your lady won’t head for the playground equipment with a smile. and you can actually say “on your own head be it” if she won’t.
Posted by Harry Buttle on 2008 05 02 at 07:21 PM • permalink
“We know he’s faithful to his wife” says Bob of Obama. Similary, Bob claims that Hillary wouldn’t perform oral sex on Bill. How does he know these things? He doesn’t, of course. It is a medical problem called alcohol-related psychosis. Bob has been a well known drunk for decades and it shows.
As regards Ellis, Gerard Henderson gives us a reminder:
PA :
Well, you have in fact stabbed your wife in other ways, though, haven’t you?BE:
This is true. I’m so sorry you brought that up.Stop the tape. For a moment, at least. Here is the courageous Bob Ellis who proclaims his right to discuss the (alleged) private affairs of others but does not want an interviewer to speak about his own private life – even though it is a matter of public record due primarily to Ellis’ self-generated wind-baggery on-air.
In any event Phillip Adams took the hint and moved away from Ellis’ private affairs. But, soon after, discussion returned to the public’s right to know.
Phillip Adams:
…Is there anything that you wouldn’t write about in your own life? Do you censor aspects of it?Bob Ellis:
Yes.PA:
Things that the public has a right to know?BE:
Things that would hurt my children. Things about them or things about myself that would hurt them. Which is why the recent episodes have upset me.Phillip Adams let the matter rest there and, instead, raised the issue of the beach. It was all rather soft. Mr Adams did not ask why, if Bob Ellis was so keen on protecting his family and himself from upsetting, hurtful moments, he had chosen to go public about the Ellis/Long assignation.
But putting Bill’s member in your mouth would hardly seem prudent.
BRAINY babes find it harder to have an orgasm – because they are too busy thinking, a study claims.
The German survey found that the more educated a woman was, the less likely it was that she would be satisfied by sex.
Feeling a bit cranky tonight, so this Bob Ellis, whoever the hell he is, bit down on my last nerve.
Last Monday Hillary Clinton said she’d “obliterate” Iran if Iran attacked Israel and on Tuesday picked up some Jewish, redneck, gun-loving, wog-hating, duck-shooting, Catholic and early-dementia votes in nursing homes and by 10 per cent won handily the “rust-belt”, “lunch-bucket” and Amish-cluttered state of Pennsylvania in which she was leading by 30 per cent a month before.
As an American, I am deeply, deeply offended. Just what the hell is wrong with loving guns, shooting ducks, and early dementia?
Bob Ellis is a tool pure and simple. An okay writer couple with below average intelligence teamed with unbounded self-regard.
If ever there was an exemplar of how stupid people don’t know how little they know then he is it.
I noticed on the ABC last night they’re running some fatuous “My favourite Australian” competition. Marieke Hardy led off with “Bob Ellis” of course.
I’ve heard no mention as to whether Ken Livingstone’s best mates, Hugo and Fidel, have rung to congratulate Boris Johnson.
Winston McKenzie, Independant, 5,389 votes
Matt O’Connor, Eng Democrats, 10,695 votes
Lindsey German, Left List, 16,796 votes
Alan Craig, Christian Choice, 39,249 votes
Richard Barnbrook, BNP, 69,710 votes
Sian Berry, Green, 77,374 votes
Brian Paddick, Lib Dem, 236,685 votes
Ken Livingstone, Labour, 893,877 votes
Boris Johnson, Conservative, 1,043,761 votes
Dear God, what a festering sewer of lunatics, proto-totalitarians, neocommies and neo-national socialist scum infest that thread!
Look at this one – which the moderators let pass, no worries!
Mulga Mumblebrain :
01 May 2008 6:34:52pm
WTMS, you’re correct to admonish me to be more precise in my condemnation of Israel, and the US for that matter. My opinion, for what it’s worth, is that both the US and Israeli states are thoroughly malevolent institutions. The people of both countries like most people throughout the world, have no influence on Government policy. While the populations of both Israel and the US contain many dreadful racists and bigots, no country is monolithically good or bad. Many Israelis and other Jews, let alone Israeli Arabs, are dedicated to living in peace with their neighbours, and reject the state and the rabid Right’s expansionism, cruelty and viciousness. After all, who amongst decent Australians wished to be found guilty by association with the evil Howard regime, these last eleven years.
This disgusting worm is typical. I love the way he pulls a thin veneer over what is obviously a full-blooded case of howling anti-semitism. But all muslim arabs are saintly.
This one’s a real howling moonbat and whackjob of the first order.
MarkL
Canberra
“give head for hillary” the new campaign slogan?
That might capture the single male vote for Hillary.
Might. I’m not sure I’d relish having the teeth of some female moonbat any where near my organ of regeneration.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 02 at 08:57 PM • permalink
Vidal is, of course, clinically insane.
If he weren’t a well-heeled man of letters and celebrity of sorts, he’d be an elderly nutter in a secure ward somewhere in Midwest America.
Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2008 05 02 at 08:58 PM • permalink
… an intelligent, good and measured public man, of thus far, clean conscious
… and he’s black! Always important to shallow, Leftie’s like Ellis.Love his take on Hillary. In the end, Ellis, like almost all Lefties, eat their own.
We know he’s faithful to his wife … Do we???
So now it’s a MILLION dead in Iraq is it? I see bonkers Bob does his calculations according to the totally discredited Lancet method.
Ellis cannot criticise Howard, Rudd or O-man so Hillbilly gets Bobbed.
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 02 at 11:16 PM • permalink
My personal reaction?
EEEEEWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Don’t do that again!
Posted by memomachine on 2008 05 02 at 11:35 PM • permalink
@ WonderWoman
“If lack of adequate fellative talent can lead to the deaths of a million people, then it is my social duty to go home and conscientiously hone my skills.”
**SALUTE**
You can’t hear it but in the background is a rendition of the Battle Hymn of the Republic!
God I got tears in my eyes.
Posted by memomachine on 2008 05 02 at 11:40 PM • permalink
Frankly, the way Ellis writes about Keating, Whitlam and a few other Labor “luminaries” I would say he is probably an expert on sucking cock.
Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2008 05 02 at 11:45 PM • permalink
It’s not like Hillary even actually did something to lose Bob’s affection; she just got in between Bob and his new love, apparently.
And Marieke pines for this man!
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 02 at 11:59 PM • permalink
Aaaarghhhh! I just realised: Bob Ellis!!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 12:01 AM • permalink
…and in 2003 came one of Bob’s always-accurate predictions:
Bush will be out of the White House and Dean, or Gephardt, or Gore, or Hillary Clinton in it, with Wesley Clark as Vice-President, by this time next year. And the US out of Iraq by July. See if I’m wrong.
You keep saying that, Bob. And we keep seeing it.
Ouch.
Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 03 at 12:02 AM • permalink
I yield to no one in my disdain for Hillary and Bill. I have been a member of the VRWC since before there was a VRWC. And yet I find the vulgar tripe that Ellis spewed like a drunk his dinner to be unbearably offensive. And he suddenly comes across as a Hillary hater because she is standing in the way of the apotheosis of Obama.
Obama the Messiah? Gimme a break. Have any of these clowns noticed that little transaction in 2005? After the hospital gave Michelle Obama a raise of $195,000 big ones her husband the new Senator inserted an earmark for the hospital for a cool million bucks in the budget bill. Raise your hands, all those to whom that sounds like a routine, unexceptional transaction. And that’s just one of Obama’s tricky dealings with money in Chicago’s completely corrupt Democratic political machine.
Posted by Michael Lonie on 2008 05 03 at 12:13 AM • permalink
“Amazing,” writes Mark Steyn. “The mouth that launched a million deaths. Bill was denied, people died.”
I read Steyn’s piece: he seems somewhat stunned by the crude hostility displayed by Bob Ellis (Arrrgggghhhh!) From now on, whenever anyone tries saying that no longer does the Australian male conform to the crude, boorish, chauvinist, beer-swilling stereotype, this little gem by Bob Ellis (Noooooooooooo!) will be thrust in their face.
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 12:26 AM • permalink
#65 bad organisation there, buddy.
#66 67
Thanks, Hanyu. We didn’t need that mindpic.Anyway, wotsherface has said she’s keen on Blob.
O/T Hmmm. It seems that Bob’s not the only person to hate. What, don’t these presbyterians believe in human rights and equality for women? Oh wait, I forgot that.
#20 His “writing” is little more than a bunch of turgid feeling released on the page. you can tell his level – unchancy, inaccurate and maudlin.
Always a pleasure to see someone who’s resorted to the standard inept male practice of blaming women for a man’s conduct too.
Posted by carpefraise on 2008 05 03 at 02:19 AM • permalink
The Gore Vidal interview was interesting because the ABC woman was desperate for him to endorse Obama, which he just wouldn’t do. Vidal wants Hillary even without the oral sex.
Other than that I couldn’t work out if Vidal was mad, drunk or just a pretentious wanker. Think it may have been all three.
#16, yes WonderWoman but you see, they LIKED Bill. That’s why it was OK.
Posted by carpefraise on 2008 05 03 at 02:40 AM • permalink
What a despicable man. And what is it about Laborites and oral sex?
#73 Chile gives free Viagra to seniors
Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 03 at 05:10 AM • permalink
#77. That link is comedy gold, son!
Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2008 05 03 at 05:11 AM • permalink
- Well, he’s loved on marieke’s blog…
from a poster:“I adore the man’s writing and he himself is a delightful curmudgeon (I have had a bit to do with him – I don’t mean to name-drop at all, but I regard him as a Living National Treasure and believe our wide brown land would be worse off without him). His ‘Unleashed’ piece on the ABC’s website about Sorry Day is worth a read: http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/stories/s2167953.htm.And she herself comes over faint:
Let us all hail the mighty powers of Bob Ellis. When I bumped into him in a corridor last week he leaned into me to whisper and I almost fainted.
Bob Ellis: Is it true you named your dog after me?
Me: Yes.
Bob Ellis: (smiles indulgently)
Me: She’s the light of my life.
pause
Me: As are you, of course.
longer pause
Me: I think I may go over there and eat a biscuit.*shakes head* Young people…
Posted by carpefraise on 2008 05 03 at 09:41 AM • permalink
I regard him as a Living National Treasure and believe our wide brown land would be worse off without him
I’m willing to put that belief to the test! How old is the old bastard?
Posted by AlburyShifton on 2008 05 03 at 05:06 PM • permalink
Hillary’s failure to ‘keep the dog on the porch’, as the famous Arkansas phrase puts it
My wife, who is from Arkansas, tells me there is no such expression, “keep the dog on the porch.”
There is an Arkansas expression that says “If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch” but it has a completely different meaning to the fictitious one that Ellis quotes, and it wouldn’t make any sense in this context.Posted by daddy dave on 2008 05 04 at 09:00 AM • permalink
I, for one, am loving how Hillary was The Next Big Thing, plus The Smartest Women In The World just a few short years ago.
Now, all her flaws are obvious, even to Leftoads. Go figure!