Bird not talking

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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 02:06 pm

Guess we’ll have to wait for the trial:

A four-year-old girl has suffered neck and face wounds after being attacked by a rooster in central western New South Wales.

The girl was taken to Orange Base Hospital and later transferred to a children’s hospital in Sydney.

It is not known why the rooster attacked.

UPDATE. Reader Santina emails: “This post brought back memories of a rooster we had at the farm: Ivan the Terrible. He was a treacherous rooster of the worst kind. Always attacking you when your back was turned. Visitors were warned not to go near him.

“But one day he met his match. The fool bird tried to peck one of our mares, the lovely Odabella. You can imagine the outcome. He was attempting to peck her on her HIND legs. Well, she let fly with both barrels, and I was fortunate to witness the outcome. A flying rooster was rocketed high into the air and landed in the next paddock. An appropriate ending for such a violent bird.”

UPDATE II. Currency Lad writes: “Santina’s story is the best thing I’ve read this week.” I’ll second that.

Posted by Tim B. on 03/27/2006 at 11:54 PM
    1. It’s because, as anyone who’s been around a farm knows, chickens are dirty, idiotic, vicious, mean-spirited animals. That’s pretty much it.

      Posted by Aaron – Freewill on 2006 03 28 at 12:02 AM • permalink


    1. The Rooster attacked because all the Bulldogs were busy beating up someone else

      Posted by RodneyD on 2006 03 28 at 12:15 AM • permalink


    1. I am not saying I support these kooks, but millions of Americans will tell you that the rooster was not responsible.

      And so what if you have video evidence – how would you go if you were pumped full of steroids and cooped up all day?

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 28 at 12:16 AM • permalink


    1. I think we have to examine the roost causes.

      Posted by Mike G on 2006 03 28 at 12:18 AM • permalink


    1. Remember people, it is not the rooster’s fault he is a vicious monster – that is the fault of the owners.

      Most rooster owners are responsible and it is just a few bad eggs who breed their birds for fighting and gives the rest of them a bad name. Unless of course, this particular rooster was crossed with a pitbull or something.

      Either that or someone fed it Viagra – I’ve heard that fires cocks up nicely.

      Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 03 28 at 12:21 AM • permalink


    1. Well there are two possible causes: (a) global warming and/or (b) the Howard regime.

      Actually there is now a third option – Industrial Relations reform.

      Posted by Rafe C on 2006 03 28 at 12:28 AM • permalink


    1. I understand the rooster is embracing Islam to evade prosecution…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 28 at 12:41 AM • permalink


    1. I blame Bush.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2006 03 28 at 12:41 AM • permalink


    1. What did Malcolm X say? ‘Chickens coming home to roost’

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 03 28 at 12:44 AM • permalink


    1. It’s all about grain

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 28 at 12:47 AM • permalink


    1. #‘s 6&10;
      Liberte,Egalite, organic chicken feed.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 03 28 at 12:53 AM • permalink


    1. It’s either a cock up or a beat up.

      Posted by lingus4 on 2006 03 28 at 12:57 AM • permalink


    1. The evidence is poultry. YEAH, I SAID IT!!

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 03 28 at 01:08 AM • permalink


    1. He was tired of being called a “Chicken Hawk”.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 03 28 at 01:14 AM • permalink


    1. He was pissed off about all the bird flu jokes.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2006 03 28 at 01:28 AM • permalink


    1. It is not known why the rooster attacked.

      Isn’t it obvious? Because the chicken crossed the road!

      Posted by Skeptic on 2006 03 28 at 01:30 AM • permalink


    1. Police are dumfounded as to how the plan was hatched but it appears that the rooster had recently been in an Indonesian village before fleeing the coop. Some of the evidence has been scrambled but after some scratching around we have come to the conclusion that the cock’s thrusts werean attempt on the girls life. There were others involved, but they were too chicken to join in.

      Posted by Nic on 2006 03 28 at 01:32 AM • permalink


    1. A victim of fowl play.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 01:32 AM • permalink


    1. Innocent I say! The chook is a noble beast…

      The dingo did it!

      Posted by splice on 2006 03 28 at 01:36 AM • permalink


    1. Quit cracking all these terrible yolks!

      Posted by Evil Pundit on 2006 03 28 at 01:42 AM • permalink


    1. Oh, come on. The bloody buzzard was plastic, and the dingo’s got form.

      It was an obvious stitch-up.

      Posted by splice on 2006 03 28 at 01:54 AM • permalink


    1. No Blood for Grain!

      Are we sure this wasnt a plastic rooster?

      Posted by JSthecorrect on 2006 03 28 at 02:13 AM • permalink


    1. “The rooster’s legal representative, R Riding Hood, was unavailable for comment. A police spokesperson stated, on the condition of anonymity, that the poor chap had recently become entangled with a Mr Wolff…”

      yeah, I reckon it was the dingo.

      Posted by kae on 2006 03 28 at 02:16 AM • permalink


    1. It may sound funny, but having a rooster jump on your back and drive in the spurs is pretty educational. The girl is just lucky she wasn’t run down by a goose.

      Posted by charlesr on 2006 03 28 at 02:16 AM • permalink


    1. Going by the courage exhibited in Middle Eastern attacks on unarmed civilians and kiddies looking for a hand-out of lollies, Islam is the religion of chickens.

      Case closed- he was rightfully upholding Sha’ria and punishing the harlot in question for freely exposing her face in public.

      Sounds like the chook in question is more devout than the dingleberry with the Jeep- he managed to do more actual damage ot an unbeliever; what’s his reward though- 72 eggs?

      Posted by Habib on 2006 03 28 at 02:24 AM • permalink


    1. She said ” I feel like chicken tonight!”

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 03 28 at 02:25 AM • permalink


    1. Because the girl was wearing a “Ride me, cowboy” t-shirt and the rooster was from North Queensland.

      Posted by mr magoo on 2006 03 28 at 02:29 AM • permalink


    1. I’m betting he gets off with community service if he fronts one of the progressive beaks on the bench in NSW. I’d say his counsel will try to wing it, because the prosecutor will be a featherweight.

      The feathery bastard will no doubt be crowing to the media outside court when he struts out- personally, I reckon he should fry.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 03 28 at 02:30 AM • permalink


    1. Maybe a DNA test should be done; I have my suspicions as to the actual identity of the assailant.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 03 28 at 02:36 AM • permalink


    1. Did Stoop Davey Dave finally ditch the goat suit for a rooster one?

      Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 28 at 02:39 AM • permalink


    1. oops, soory Stoop, didn’t mean to imply you would then do the attack.  Stupid comment.

      (stands in corner)

      Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 03 28 at 02:40 AM • permalink


    1. Because he wanted to cross the road, of course.

      Posted by you bet on 2006 03 28 at 02:41 AM • permalink


    1. What do you expect from a dirty commie?

      Posted by Habib on 2006 03 28 at 03:04 AM • permalink


    1. Rooster will attack defending their hens. We had a few chickens years ago and one aggresive rooster. He never attacked me, but would almost always attack my sister. We never knew why.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 03 28 at 03:07 AM • permalink


    1. #34, Because he wasn’t a homo, Texas Bob, that’s why.

      Posted by Big Arnie on 2006 03 28 at 03:15 AM • permalink


    1. I’m surprised no one’s managed to make a gag about Mark Latham yet…

      Posted by James Waterton on 2006 03 28 at 03:18 AM • permalink


    1. Which rooster was it; Smith, Conroy or Swan? Perhaps the Member for Cunningham (Sharon Bird) needs to account for herself also!

      Posted by JeffB on 2006 03 28 at 03:35 AM • permalink


    1. Another pullet surprise winning piece of investigative journalism

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 03 28 at 03:35 AM • permalink


    1. The family’s concerns were initially raised when they found a bin laden with stockpiled eggs, fearing iminent shelling, the daughter was sent to investigate.

      Posted by Nic on 2006 03 28 at 03:35 AM • permalink


    1. O/T – The Danish cartoons were the tip of the iceberg. Denmark is stuffed. Tech Central Station reports—

      Leader Fadi Abdullatif (who had previously received a 60-day sentence for threatening to kill Jews) turned his wrath on Denmark’s popular bicycle-riding sovereign, Queen Margarethe II, whom he accused of involvement in a “conspiracy” with Jyllands-Posten and Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen to “harm Islam.” The state prosecutor, under pressure from Muslim groups, declined to bring charges.

      Historically, non-Muslim minorities (i.e., Jews and Christians) could escape the ravages of violent jihad only by surrendering to Islamic domination through a treaty of agreed-upon subjugation and oppression (dhimma) that turned them into “protected persons” (dhimmis) with second class status within the real of Islam. Today, it seems that even non-Muslim majorities (in Denmark) are requested to descend into dhimmitude to avoid the wrath of some new immigrants.

      Tech Central Station

      At the risk of overquoting I’ll sneak this in:

      These incidents, all disturbing, don’t even scratch the surface of the appeasement Danes have made to accommodate the people who unleashed violence against them. In Copenhagen’s public schools, the only food available to students—regardless of their religious affiliation or lack thereof—are Halal (prepared according to Islamic dietary requirements).

      Posted by walterplinge on 2006 03 28 at 03:47 AM • permalink


    1. Mynd you, røøster bites Kan be pretty nasti…

      Posted by Polish Frizzle on 2006 03 28 at 03:50 AM • permalink


    1. The poor girl shouldn’t have given Evil Foghorn Leghorn the ‘bird’…

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 03:57 AM • permalink


    1. The poor kid needs a big dose of chicken soup. It won’t do any harm.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 04:09 AM • permalink


    1. ‘She suffered serious facial and neck injuries after being attacked three times by the rooster’
      Reminds me of that old Commodores song –
      ‘Once, twice, three times a Rooster’.

      Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2006 03 28 at 04:16 AM • permalink


    1. Then again, maybe she already had a big serve of chicken soup.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 04:21 AM • permalink


    1. I reckon rooster soup will on her menu very soon, Geoff.

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 04:24 AM • permalink


    1. steve conroy attacked a child???!!!

      Posted by KK on 2006 03 28 at 04:25 AM • permalink


    1. *In best Foghorn Leghorn voice*

      I say I say boy, she was between me and the dawg. That girl she was as sharp as a bowling ball.

      *walks off whistling Campdown Races, carrying a 4×2*

      Posted by jpaulg on 2006 03 28 at 04:34 AM • permalink


    1. Sure there are some jokes on this thread, but what shines through is a genuine understanding that the chicken itself is not to blame.

      Everyone has baulked at the simplistic idea that the chicken is to blame.

      At last some common ground with Robert Fisk, who would not only have baulked at the idea, he would have baulked, baulked, baulked…

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 28 at 04:45 AM • permalink


    1. I say, I say, how many times have I gots to tell ya, MM – I’m a rooster, not a chicken. I say, am I gettin’ through to ya, boy? (Nice kid, but dumber than Phil Adams).

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 05:01 AM • permalink


    1. As a lifelong Eastern Suburbs/Sydney City (‘the Roosters’ to those not familiar with Australian Rugby League) fan I am comforted by this news.

      As a kid I always felt slightly embarrassed by the pathetic-ness of our mascot – a lousy rooster up against teams represented by real killers like sharks, tigers, panthers, bulldogs or bears. Of course, rabbits were even more pathetic, a point not lost on most Roosters teams since about 1972.

      Now our chooks have shown themselves to be pathetic no more…

      Now if only you can find some news about somebody getting killed by a swan…

      Posted by Flying Giraffe on 2006 03 28 at 05:04 AM • permalink


    1. Have they found the matinee jacket yet?

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 05:14 AM • permalink


    1. Has that rooster ever been to Ayers Rock? It may have been him all along, in his cunning ACME dingo suit disguise. He could be the Ivan Milat of farmworld…

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 05:17 AM • permalink


    1. …forever trying to load up those damn dawgs…

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 05:21 AM • permalink


    1. May I be the first to welcome our new rooster overlords.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 05:22 AM • permalink


    1. As you know Eliot, the chook has a right to remain silent. No verballing please.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 05:25 AM • permalink


    1. The sentencing beak would only flog him with a feather anyway…

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 05:28 AM • permalink


    1. Flying giraffe #51

      Hail fellow roosters fan.

      Re swans: some years ago I worked in the NSW police media unit when I did receive a report of a fatality suffered by a water-skier who ran into a flock of swans… no word of a lie.

      I’m guessing Tim Bla-eurgh – the chap who interrupts conversations on this website is more likely to be interested in Magpie incidents however.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 28 at 05:50 AM • permalink


    1. Yep.

      Mind you I would hazard a guess this particular yesterday’s rooster will have been well and truly silenced by now.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 05:51 AM • permalink


    1. Why did the rooster attack the kid?

      His way of applying for a job inside in domestic cleaning services.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 06:01 AM • permalink


    1. I hope the child has learnt to duck.

      Posted by Rob Read on 2006 03 28 at 06:07 AM • permalink


    1. O/T – A ‘World’s Small Violin’ moment:

      Australia’s worst mass murderer has become an overweight “zombie” who refuses to speak, his mother and doctors say.

      “Martin is like a zombie,” [says his mother]…“He won’t speak; he just stares into the middle distance. I can sit in front of him for 15 minutes and he says nothing.”

      A doctor who has seen Bryant recently told the magazine: “He is an overweight, shambolic wreck.  “If the community wanted a severe punishment for Mr Bryant, then they have it,” the unnamed doctor says. “What he has now is far worse than the death penalty.”

      Awwww, diddums. Good.


      Posted by walterplinge on 2006 03 28 at 06:12 AM • permalink


      The rooster has been captured and is pictured here being led away by cock handler Cletis.

      Posted by Stevo on 2006 03 28 at 06:24 AM • permalink


    1. It’s being grilled by the police right now.

      Posted by Softly on 2006 03 28 at 06:28 AM • permalink


    1. Well, whomever the suspects and whatever their culpability, here’s wishing this tiny ‘li’ll red riding hood’ all our love, care and blessings for a speedy recovery.

      Posted by splice on 2006 03 28 at 07:00 AM • permalink


    1. Forget the telephone book for this one. Bring back the axe as a legitimate interrogation, er, I mean, interview, device. Rogerson would’ve had this rooster crowing in no time.

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 07:05 AM • permalink


    1. Well, I sort of expected this.  Stoop Davy Dave has been going from farm to farm, proselyzing his radical fundamentalist brand of goat supremacy.  Evidently it’s spread to the chicken house.  Don’t be surprised if sheep attacks are next.  If I were New Zealand, I wouldn’t be sleeping well at night.

      PW, are you or are you not ready to remove Stoop Davy Dave’s surgically concocted goat disguise?

      Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 28 at 07:17 AM • permalink


    1. #67 Ah, I guess that explains the pan-flute he’s been carrying around lately.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 03 28 at 07:27 AM • permalink


    1. Nothing makes a man’s blood run cold like the roosters’ victory call in the early morning after they have found a small child and devoured it.

      A bird of peace, some say.  Yet they don’t release roosters at the Olympics.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 03 28 at 07:56 AM • permalink


    1. Send the feathered beasts into the Afghan caves – they might find a terrorist underground day care centre and fix the problem at the source.

      Posted by EliotNess on 2006 03 28 at 08:02 AM • permalink


    1. The jokes are pretty good, but the first comment nailed it. Nothing meaner, dumber, or more vicious than a chicken.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 03 28 at 08:18 AM • permalink


    1. #67 Of course. We should have seen the signs. It’s part of a general uprising. The chooks are revolting.

      Next it will be cows with guns.

      And then chickens in choppers.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 03 28 at 08:24 AM • permalink


    1. #41 Polish Frizzle:

      LMAO! Brilliant! Sheer class, my man!  😀

      Posted by Mr Snuffalupagus on 2006 03 28 at 08:29 AM • permalink


    1. Since the child recognized the rooster, it is obvious the rooster didn’t have its capon.

      Jesus, I hate myself when I say things like that, I really do…actually it’s cock-a-doodle DO.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 03 28 at 09:03 AM • permalink


    1. Some communities have taken the chicken menace on directly fox for mayor to protect the children

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 03 28 at 09:13 AM • permalink


    1. I’ll bet it was left wing.

      (Yeah I know it sucked, but 74 posts and no one has said it yet….)

      Posted by Rachel Corrie’s Flatmate on 2006 03 28 at 09:15 AM • permalink


    1. Some of these jokes are pretty fowl.

      Posted by trexkilla on 2006 03 28 at 09:46 AM • permalink


    1. I’m amazed that none of you have made some porno allusion about a cock blasting away at a teenage face- as long as she was over 18, she would’ve been on Hustler.

      Posted by Habib on 2006 03 28 at 09:48 AM • permalink


    1. You mean chicks mate?

      No boolshit mate. That’s fooly sik, mate! “No goat shall sleep in a bed wiff sheets” mate.

      Posted by splice on 2006 03 28 at 10:11 AM • permalink


    1. This thread is just a lame attempt by Blair to feather his nest with hit counts when he should be addressing industrial reform…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 28 at 10:28 AM • permalink


    1. Yes, but it’s an industrious attempt on his part.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 03 28 at 10:40 AM • permalink


    1. I recommend an immediate sentence of death for this miserable creature – Followed by me disposing of the corpse…with a little garlic and lemon butter.

      Posted by Major John on 2006 03 28 at 10:52 AM • permalink


    1. Santina’s story is the best thing I’ve read this week.

      Posted by C.L. on 2006 03 28 at 11:30 AM • permalink


    1. I was attacked and pecked by my uncle’s rooster when I was the same age as that child.  Don’t remember the attack, but I remember my aunt made chicken noodle soup out of him (the rooster, not my uncle).

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 03 28 at 11:53 AM • permalink


    1. #74: In the case of a capon, wouldn’t that be “cock-a-doodle-don’t”?

      Posted by paco on 2006 03 28 at 12:27 PM • permalink


    1. Ya goota give props where they’re due.  A five pound rooster takes on a forty pound child and gives her the what-for.

      That rooster really has got McNuggets.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 03 28 at 12:39 PM • permalink


    1. Great jokes…

      Posted by Patricia on 2006 03 28 at 01:14 PM • permalink


    1. In the mid-1970s, I lived in what was then a rough neighborhood of Chicago. One of other tenants in my buildings was a Puerto Rican fellow who claimed to be a sorcerer; he’d cast spells using a rooster as his familiar. That bird was mean enough to be possessed, because it would peck anyone who went through the backyard, even to carry out the garbage.

      Well, one day a couple of cops come round the back to answer a call about a domestic disturbance, when the rooster goes after them. One of them went to draw his revolver, when the other one just grabbed the bird by the neck, whirled it around his head a couple times, then cracked it like a whip. The head stayed in his hand, the body went flying, and that was the end of the bird. The “sorcerer” went ape-shit and claimed police brutality, but nothing came of it; nor, to my knowledge, was the cop ever turned into a toad.

      But ever since then, I’ve made it a point to avoid roosters.

      Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2006 03 28 at 01:27 PM • permalink


    1. Living in a semi-rural area, my mother has kept chickens (for eggs) for more than 20 years (mostly fancy breeds that don’t lay many eggs – including a barred rock hen that lived for 14 years) and she has occasionally had a rooster, which were always beligerant little shits… until the araucana she has now. He’s very protective of the hens, but is tame enough to picked up without a fuss.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 28 at 02:03 PM • permalink


    1. But did the violent rooster crow Allah during the attack?  If not, it was likely just another run-of-the mill, infidel bird and deserved whatever punishment it got. (From LGF)

      Posted by Polish Frizzle on 2006 03 28 at 02:39 PM • permalink


    1. #71. Exactly. Roosters have a bad attitude. And don’t get me started on geese…

      Posted by JAFA on 2006 03 28 at 02:42 PM • permalink


    1. Rooster? I just met ‘er.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 03 28 at 03:50 PM • permalink


    1. Call me crazy, Emilio, but that rooster didn’t look anything like any rooster I’ve ever flown.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 03 28 at 03:51 PM • permalink


    1. #78 – Somewhere in cyberspace, a guy in sweatpants sitting at a computer in his Mom’s basement is very disappointed in a result of his Google search for +cock +teen +face.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 03 28 at 03:56 PM • permalink


    1. What about your Kangaroos down there!  I went to one of those feeding zoos’ just outside of Brisbane.  I was feeding one of those little fellas when I felt a very sharp yank,er,pull on my leg.  I turned around to find a huge Kangaroo standing there.  Needless to say, the rest of the food was his.

      Who has chicken?
      We have chicken in the parlor! (Jerry Lee Lewis)

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 03 28 at 04:02 PM • permalink


    1. 30
      I can’t!  The zipper’s been stuck for months!  I blame PW!

      Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 28 at 04:39 PM • permalink


    1. 31
      Oh, um, yeah, and I belatedly remember to resent the insinuation!  You poltroon and churl!

      Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 28 at 04:40 PM • permalink


    1. Apparently the rooster was depressed and had been drinking heavily for some time after missing out to a duck in auditions for the Melbourne Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 03 28 at 07:40 PM • permalink


    1. And his name was Mo…

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 28 at 07:48 PM • permalink


    1. They’re organised!

      Posted by MrDays on 2006 03 29 at 12:09 AM • permalink


    1. I can’t!  The zipper’s been stuck for months!  I blame PW!

      Sheesh, do you need a new manual for that, too?

      Posted by PW on 2006 03 29 at 12:52 AM • permalink


    1. PW,
      Nah it’s not Stoop’s fault but rather the typical incompetence of Q Branch using cut-rate materials.  I had trouble with the fastenings of the moose infiltration bionic disguise I was trying out in Canada at the time of the Canadian elections.  That was the time when I saw a Liberal Party activist waving a wad of cash in front of some chick’s face trying to get her to vote Liberal (or something, I never found out what he really wanted) and it turned out to be Wronwright.

      Karl really needs to do something about Q Branch.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 29 at 01:13 AM • permalink


    1. M.L. 102
      You tell ‘im, M.L.!

      Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 29 at 03:32 PM • permalink


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