Ask mr editor man

Last updated on June 15th, 2017 at 12:58 pm

Dear Mr Editor Man,

Is there any way to turn the following text from the Australian Communist Party into something sensible? I’ve tried commas, ellipses, semi-colons, even parentheses, but it still reads like a bunch of crazy talk!

Fundamental change, such as the expulsion of US, European and Japanese imperialism from Australia, will not happen until the great mass of the Australian people consciously decide there is no alternative.

Revolutionary political work must therefore be geared to raising the political consciousness of the masses in struggle.

At present there is a sharpening of the contradictions between US imperialism in particular, and the Australian people.

The open and direct hand of US imperialism’s domination of Australia can be seen in the slavish political stand taken by the Howard government to each and every foreign policy position of US president Bush – Iraq, Kyoto Protocol, Middle East, disarmament issues, the scandalous Free Trade Agreement, the continuing takeover of Australian armed forces and military hardware by the US war machine, the expansion of US military bases and personnel, pandering to the fascist Indonesian special forces, etc.

Please help,

Confounded in Caulfield
Dear Confounded,

The form of punctuation required here is the full stop, or period. Observe:

Fundamental change, such as the expulsion of US, European and Japanese imperialism from Australia, will not happen.

1. Quite simple really.  These are the parallel universe puppet people.  Accordingly,the parallelogram paradigm paradox method should be used.  All angles bisect in this methodology.  Problem solved and mission accomplished.  Any other simple issues Tim?

   Posted by yojimbo on 04/19 at 11:46 AM • permalink

1. The US war machine

   Damn.  Now I keep hearing Black Sabbath.

   Posted by dazed on 04/19 at 12:01 PM • permalink

1. Reminds me of an old Penny Arcade comic

   Comic

   Posted by Aging Gamer on 04/19 at 12:12 PM • permalink

1. I think several liters of brew might help.  In between bouts of throwing your arm around your friends and crying:  “I luvv yooo, mannnn!”

   Posted by RebeccaH on 04/19 at 12:42 PM • permalink

1. I always had the feeling that there were some weird people down under…

   Great opportunity however, to make a fortune: put these guys somewhere with roos, wombats and koalas and get extra pay from tourists who wish to see a genuine nutty communist…

   Posted by Sam G on 04/19 at 02:35 PM • permalink

1. Maybe this is my narrow-minded Americanism showing, but the idea of an Australian Communist Party confuses me.

   What do they shout at meetings? “G’Day, Comrade Bruce!!!”

   Posted by JayC on 04/19 at 04:00 PM • permalink

1. You’d think Western Communists would have been shamed into extinction by now… not so, only into incoherence.

   Posted by Spiny Norman on 04/19 at 09:51 PM • permalink

1. Methinks Editor Man stole that full stop from Chris Sheil.

   Posted by PW on 04/19 at 11:15 PM • permalink

1. Forget punctuation.  You need to get serious here.  Anagrams.

   Posted by Achillea on 04/19 at 11:54 PM • permalink

1. I’m a reductionist activist;

   “Fundamental – change? no, alternative.”

   Posted by rog2 on 04/20 at 02:44 AM • permalink

1. given the ACP would be lucky to have more than 3 members why do they need to publish? Surely they could just phone each other.

   Posted by Astonished on 04/20 at 02:51 AM • permalink

1. PS have just sighted a new ‘deputy sherrif’ occurence will forward to media watch immediately.

   Posted by Astonished on 04/20 at 02:53 AM • permalink