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Last updated on July 21st, 2017 at 02:48 pm
Lost a flower pot recently? House numbers missing? You know who to blame:
Callers complaining about loud music coming from a buggy led deputies to charge a 19-year-old Amish man with stealing house numbers and flower pots. David Byler was charged with theft and underage consumption of alcohol, both misdemeanors.
Those younger Amish … they’re ever so sassy! Speaking of which, Scott Burgess has abundant (and link-loaded) updates to his exposure of British sass-merchant Dilpazier Aslam, which has caused The Guardian no small amount of blog-related grief. You’d have thought these clowns would have learned their lesson after Operation Clark County …
Amish of about that age take time out to party and generally experience the outside world before they commit to their faith, so this kind of thing is really quite common.
Oh, swell. The next thing you know, we’ll be seeing Amish youth gang activity (The Clodhoppers vs.The Rubes), wagons up on blocks (their wheels missing), barn graffiti (“Dickie’s Workpants Suck!”), slouch hats worn backwards (though who could tell the difference?), cell phones whipped out at quilting bees . . . too terrible to contemplate. Oh, and Dickie’s workpants really DO suck, incidentally. My wallet wore a hole in the backpocket of six pairs in no time at all.
“I was gonna put up a barn, but I got high…”
Posted by Aging Gamer on 2005 07 27 at 02:03 PM • permalink
- I saw the title and subject of this thread and cracked up. All I could think of was Amish Paradise by
Weird Al.Then tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 07 27 at 05:34 PM • permalink
- Damn you Nilknarf, my cursor was just hovering over the lyrics of that!
You beat me by about 10 seconds! 🙂Posted by Lionel Mandrake on 2005 07 27 at 05:41 PM • permalink
And here I thought it was the Menonites who were the shifty ones. (“Roll dem bones”.)
Posted by David Crawford on 2005 07 27 at 07:28 PM • permalink
Sorry, Lionel (#11). I couldn’t help myself!
And kudos to yojimbo on the drive by shooting. Now what were tha boyz using to shoot with? Slingshot?
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 07 27 at 10:16 PM • permalink
- Pity the young of the USA…
Not being able to drink (legally) at 19 is a gross human rights abuse.
Not being able to do a pub crawl with your uni buddies; it’s like the terrorists have won.Posted by Honkie Hammer on 2005 07 27 at 10:20 PM • permalink
Honkie Hammer: Heh, its quite the opposite in Malaysia. Under civil law, Malaysians can drink at or after 18 years (Muslims can’t under state laws). But we can only vote when we are 21. We can drink, smoke, join the army, get married, own a multi-billion dollar conglomerate, have consensual heterosexual sex… but not vote.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horses ass?
A Mechanic….
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 07 28 at 10:03 AM • permalink
The Amish do serve to highlight a rather fundamental difference between Christianity and Islam these days:
The Amish represent about the most “extreme” manifestation of retrospective Christianity you can come up with these days.
Result: shy, retiring, peaceable folks who keep to themselves and generally stay out of trouble (this very item about the young Amish fellow is newsworthy simply because it is so exceptional).
The Islamists represent about the most “extreme” retrospective manifestation of Islam you can come up with these days.
Result: insane, suicidal religious zealots with a nutbar ideology obsessed with death and terror.
Posted by JJM Ballantyne on 2005 07 30 at 07:12 AM • permalink
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For the love of Jehovah! An Amish numbers racket. The world’s going to hell in a meticulously handmade old Quaker-crafted handbasket. (Or potplant).