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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 01:57 pm
The earth will become molten within a generation:
Ask Lizette Salmon why she resigned from her full-time job to become an “environmental activist” and she turns straight to her two children.
“I wanted to be able to look my kids in the eye when the planet started to melt and say that I did everything I possibly could to try and change it,” Mrs Salmon said.
She won’t need to tell them anytime soon.
The former Melbourne speech pathologist has been working as a project and research officer in aged care, maternity services and brain injury since moving to the Border with her husband, John.
But this year she took what many would regard as the somewhat drastic step of ditching her career to become …
Wait for it:
… a community ambassador for the environment.
Oh, bravo!
Mrs Salmon decided she was not merely content to reduce the ecological footprint of her own family through the usual means of buying green power, switching off lights, taking shorter showers, reusing grey water, car pooling, and using a bike for transport.
Now she’s writing to politicians, speaking to school groups, making tougher lifestyle changes and talking to others for feedback as she decides on the best approach to her new role.
Just keep reading The Modern Parents, Lizette. It’s done a fine job providing the blueprint for you so far.
It has also seen the production of a regular newsletter entitled Lizette’s Green Progress, distributed to a widening circle of family, friends and community groups.
“I need to see where I can find a niche and where I can be most effective. I am ultimately still hoping to get paid work,” she said.
Hmmm … the more successful she is, the greater will be her carbon footprint. Lizette may not have thought this through.
Mrs Salmon said the response to her decision from friends and family ranged from support to surprise but most encouraging was that which came from her daughter Pippa, 6.
“She said ‘Mummy, that’s what I want to do when I grow up’,” she said.
She could do it now. Growing up isn’t required. In fact, it’s a distinct disadvantage.
Pippa and her brother, Jeremy, 5, are staunch allies in their mother’s campaign.
Garage sales have become the No. 1 source for their toys and games and quality second-hand clothing for the family has been found at opportunity shops.
Any poor folks out Albury way who were hoping for some cheap winter clothes … bad luck. Lizette’s got ‘em all.
Mrs Salmon took Pippa and 16 other children on a bushwalk to Hunchback Hill as a party alternative for Pippa’s sixth birthday, providing a nature hunt and rubbish-collecting competition en route.
A home-made gingerbread man and a second-hand book were handed out in lieu of lolly bags.
And don’t even think about playing under a sprinkler.
Mrs Salmon said her move to environmental activist was strongly supported by her husband and she was conscious their good income had partly made it possible for her to take the step she had.
“Partly”?
(Via contrail)
UPDATE. Via EP, more Modern Parents.
- Husband wants her to stay home, cook, watch the damn kids, and stay “busy” with her Tupperware parties.Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 03 at 12:43 AM • permalink
- Just another airheaded middle-class mommy in search of a hobby, now the kids are old enough and brainwashed enough not to require her full attention.
Now she can bathe in the warm self-righteous glow of our tax dollars.
Useless cow.Posted by Crusader-Rabbit on 2007 06 03 at 01:02 AM • permalink
- (Help is on the way, Lizette!)
Helpful Hints: How to Argue
the Case for Global WarmingTo keep our consensus intact
Avoid the most obvious fact:
Don’t mention the sun,
That’s rule Number One.
If someone else does, don’t react.And if you react, don’t be drastic.
Use terms that are vague and elastic.
If doubters insist
Their doubts still exist,
Be self-righteous, smug, and sarcastic.(When in doubt, skip right to the end! You’re welcome!)
- Sounds like a great bday party for Pippa and friends.My guess is those friends are already working on their excuses for next years bash.
My bday was on July 4 and the party went something like this…after we stuffed ourselves with sugar, my dad would take us
out to a field behind out house where we would proceed to blow shit up.Good times!
- Not wanting to pick on a six year old but isn’t the point of mummy doing what she’s doing so that young Pippa won’t need to in the future? Shouldn’t our intrepid environemntal activist point out to her children that she is the one saving the world thank you very much and you kids will just have to get a real job – probably in picking lint out of the cane before being used to weave baskets.
- Just another boring wannabe tout, jumping on a mythical bandwagon. I wish I could see into the future, just to see how her ‘units’ turn out and how much ‘trauma counselling’ they will probably receive. Typical ‘limo leftards’, must have the children brainwashed into the ‘collective’ at an early age, so they do not develop independent thought. It’s borderline bloody criminal when you think about it.
- Hmmmm.
You should read about the $412 million dollars worth of **sugar pills** sold in 1 year by a Texas company that makes borderline claims about how it heals people of just about everything short of death.
It’s on USA’s ABC news website. Even some crazy-ass 22 year old girl with a brain tumor who is taking these idiot sugar pills rather than having chemo. And yes. She’s a college graduate.
My father gave me several pieces of excellent advice when I left home to attend USMC’s recruit training at Parris Island.
1. Nobody ever lost money betting on the stupidity of people.
2. Never date a woman who can beat you up.
3. The best beer, wine or cigar in the world is the one that’s free.
Words to live by …
Posted by memomachine on 2007 06 03 at 02:02 AM • permalink
- Hmmmm.
It’s called Mannatech.
Honestly. It’s just totally impossible to keep people from killing themselves.
Frank Zappa was right. Stupidity is more common than hydrogen.
Posted by memomachine on 2007 06 03 at 02:06 AM • permalink
- Can you get paid to be a “community environmental activist”?
I’m willing to convert to a Gaia worshipping cultist for around say, $60K.
Beats painting tin roofs or cleaning dunnies.
Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 06 03 at 02:09 AM • permalink
- “When the planet started to melt”? Oh boy, Lizette really does live in Chocolate Happyland.
This comment, however, is shameful.
I’ll take notice when she gets rid of the children…
She should put them on the table at the garage sale too? Dear God, kae!Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 02:35 AM • permalink
- Since Tim mentioned The Modern Parents, here’s a little sample, quite relevant to environmental catastrophe.Posted by Evil Pundit on 2007 06 03 at 02:45 AM • permalink
- Oh yeah, she has the support of her children now, when they’re 6 and 5. Wait till they’re 16 and 15. We’ll see how well the birthday plans for picking up rubbish goes then.Posted by wronwright on 2007 06 03 at 03:16 AM • permalink
- #25
and how long before op shop couture no longer cuts it?Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2007 06 03 at 03:46 AM • permalink
- “I wanted to be able to look my kids in the eye when the planet started to melt”
I wouldn’t go getting my little green panties in a twist if I was you. If the paleoclimatologists are right, average global temperatues haven’t been as cold as they are now since the Permian Period (ended about 250,000,000 years ago, that’s so long ago that there weren’t any dinosaurs yet).
The normal temparture over most of the last 500,000,000 years was probably about 10 degrees (centigrade) higher than it is now…and, needless to say, life has flourished under such conditions.
I don’t think we need to worry about melting planets or the extinction of all life on earth just yet.
Oh, btw, the MUCH WARMER temperatures that have prevailed over the last half billion years weren’t caused by evil human beings and SUVs.
That last part is just for leftys.
The World is supposed to be warmer, ya dopes
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 03 at 03:52 AM • permalink
- #1, frollicking
Let’s see: former speech pathologist, husband John is on a good income, lives in Wodonga, has children named Pippa and Jeremy.
If he’s the John Salmon listed here that would make her a doctor’s wife.
- Actually, folks, this is very interesting. When the economy is booming, this idiot quite her job to set up as a shaman.
I mean, if the Holy Church of Gaia del Moonbat is starting to spawn ‘local self-proclaimed priestesses’ (which is what she is really claiming to be), then it may be a sign that the idiocy has or is about to peak.
That’d be nice. I am sick of this scare now, and I’m looking forward to teh next one.
MarkL
canberra
- #1 and #31 …
Ah, Janice, you beat me to it because of work commitments. Yes, Mrs Salmon suffers Doctor’s Wife Syndrome!!
Latest on Albury-Wodonga turning to lava under the sun’s rays – 8pm temperature in Albury-Wodonga, 10C after a maximum this Sunday of 13.1C. At nearby Mt Hotham it is minus 1.6C with a 20cm cover of compacted snow. The weather bureau is not even expecting the snow to melt, let alone the land. It says there should be snow on the ground for the ski season starting on saturday.
- #32
My Mum thinks, as I do, that people are not worried about the economy as it’s going nicely and we’re all pretty well off, so they think that they should give Rudd a go…
Many of the younger voters don’t remember the 90s and haven’t a clue about how bad things were then.One term of the ALP will be enough to bugger it all up.
The economy.
- #34 G’day Hobbes
My friend has just bought a unit and said “Will I have to replace my electric HWS now?” I said probably not, it’s probably only in new houses. Otherwise they’d better be expecting the taxpayers to cover the cost. (And see Energex, or whatever they call themselves these days, about getting off-peak hot water. She didn’t know about that.)Another thing, just saw an advert on TV for some poncy organic shampoo. It starts off “Bet you don’t know that your shampoo is derived from petrochemicals.”
Yeah, like so much of everything else we use to make life easier/cleaner/more pleasant.
- That’s just great. I recently looked into my HWS options the other day. You CANNOT beat off peak electric – it works out about $200 pa to run. And I was keen for a heat bank, but it costs 3x as much, and as it has to be on all the time, about the same cost as off peak to run.
Back on topic: Mrs Entropy thinks she might know this woman – she thought she was a pratt before she became a Salmon.
I notice she hangs out with Margaret Alston, who I have had to deal with in a work capacity. Dr Alston is the classic type: rural Dawkins university academic; rural people deserve a lot more government money than others because they, well, have special needs, and are the backbone of the country, yadda yadda.
- #38 At least someone gets my punny jokes.
Actually we are being a bit to hard on her. I imagine a six year old would like a gingerbread man and a book, even if it was second hand. Particularly if it was about transformers.
It’s not as if she gave the grommit a card stating that instead of a present, the giver had bought a goat/pig for a little kid in Africa.
- Hey, let’s not pick on next Friday night’s dinner our aquatic friends here. Don’t smear them with guilt by association (unless you’re all out of garlic butter sauce).
Lizette = tool (fem), as in “FFS, you’re such a useless Lizette.”
Or maybe a Lizette is a very small lesbian – ?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 06:54 AM • permalink
- Pippa? Why not go totally Third World with Shaun-tey and Keyshaun?
Easy to indulge your ego when wimpy back home is covering the bills. Isn’t it close to the time he ditches this fruitcake for a hot, young trophy wife?
Posted by Spectre765 on 2007 06 03 at 07:02 AM • permalink
- “Mirabelle, you’ve got an invitation to a 7th birthday party”
“Oh great! Who from?”
“Pippa Salmon. Isn’t that the girl who always looks as if she’s wearing hand-me-downs? Didn’t you go to her birthday last year?”
“Oh, yes. Mum, can I go to the movies and Maccas instead?”
“Of course dear”.
—
I did pro toilet cleaning for a few years a couple of decades ago – the RACV Club in Queen St. Earned me a 25% cash deposit on a house. It wasn’t so bad, except for New Year’s Day and the day after Melbourne Cup Day, which were always stomach-churning.
Posted by walterplinge on 2007 06 03 at 07:13 AM • permalink
- I think a Lezute is something you might find in this lady’s garage.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 07:23 AM • permalink
- After I graduated and before I got my commission, I worked as an ER nurse. We had a woman who used the ER as a shortcut into the hospital proper (strictly forbidden). She’d come barging through the doors between the ER waiting area and the treatment area, telling any and everyone that “It’s okay, I’m a doctor’s wife.” Damn walking cliche.
Mrs. Dr’s wife is bad enough, but those who quote children as though they were thinking adults who had come to a rational conclusion really get my goat. Too precious by half.
- Lizette? Wasn’t that a French submarine sunk by the British during WW2?Posted by andycanuck on 2007 06 03 at 10:32 AM • permalink
- Lezute—A Chevy Suburban with a lot of Xena bumperstickers…?Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 06 03 at 11:14 AM • permalink
- Hmmmmmm…..a doctor’s wife publicly announcing her career change from a speech pathologist to a shaman for Mother Gaia™, complete with ritual initiations for the younglings.
Methinks that Spectre765 in #43 has it right. Either that or Doctor Salmon suddenly finds reasons not to take Mrs. Salmon to all those social events.
Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 06 03 at 11:41 AM • permalink
- She’s gone from Minister without Portfolio to Minister without Punctilio.Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 06 03 at 12:09 PM • permalink
- It has also seen the production of a regular newsletter entitled Lizette’s Green Progress, distributed to a widening circle of family, friends and community groups
…who promptly redistribute it right into the trash.
Unless she’s handwriting them in berry juice with a twig on tree bark from naturally downed trees, I’d consider her precious newsletters an unnecessary contribution to the waste stream. For shame!
Posted by Blue State Sil on 2007 06 03 at 02:40 PM • permalink
- Morning 1.618! Hey, I’m tired of dredging through the old New Ideas at the local op-shop looking for you on the cover. Can you help me out here? Narrow it down to one or two years?Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 06:53 PM • permalink
- He’s lost the battle against his massive ego – assuming that he fought against it in the first place.Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 07:03 PM • permalink
- Oh, well, that’s a clue and a half…Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 11:13 PM • permalink
- …And Google wasn’t much help. Except that it led me to this.
Old, but not yet wholly irrelevant.
Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 06 03 at 11:24 PM • permalink
- “Mrs Salmon said her move to environmental activist was strongly supported by her husband…”
The poor bastard must have thought that “enviromental activist” is the name of a town on some other continent.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 04 at 01:13 AM • permalink
- “She said ‘Mummy, that’s what I want to do when I grow up’,”
BFD. A six year old is going to think that even if your avocation is axe-murderer.
Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 04 at 01:16 AM • permalink
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Let me guess hes a oil corporation executive?