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Last updated on August 9th, 2017 at 02:14 pm
North Carolina’s SUV terrorist did it for love:
The man who hit nine people with a sport utility vehicle on the University of North Carolina’s Chapel Hill campus wrote a letter to a television reporter saying he read the Quran’s 114 chapters 15 times and found that the Muslim holy book justified the attack.
The crucial passage: “Any gathering of crackers in numbers nine or more is ha’ram and shall be punished by Jeep Cherokee on short-term rental (try Enterprise on Glenwood Avenue—great winter deals).”
’‘I did not act out of hatred for Americans, but out of love for Allah instead,’’ Mohammed Taheri-azar, 22, wrote …
As Mark Steyn noted: “These days, whenever something goofy turns up on the news, chances are it involves a fellow called Mohammed.” But for all their numbers, the massed Mohammeds aren’t exactly winning this war, are they? Five years ago Allah’s Love Brigades were slamming jets into the Pentagon and World Trade Center; now the best they can manage is bumping some coeds with a hired Jeep. Next: the Prophet’s elite rollerblade squadron shoves an ATM customer.
In the letter, Taheri-azar reiterated what he has told law officers and a 911 dispatcher, that the attack ‘‘was in retaliation for similar attacks orchestrated by the U.S. government on my fellow followers of Allah in Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Saudi Arabia, and other Islamic territories.’‘
Similar attacks? What, there are Jeeps cruising Gaza looking for students to nudge?
Taheri-azar wrote that he began his readings of the Quran in June 2003. He called the book ‘‘a scientific and mathematical miracle, so there can be no doubt that it is from a supernatural source.’‘
I’ll take your word for it, Jeep-Mo. In other lunatic news:
An alleged al Qaeda terrorist plotting a bomb attack on Britain told accomplices to sell contaminated beer at soccer games or poisoned hamburgers from street vending stalls, an FBI informant told a court Friday.
As if mere toxins would hurt anyone already immune to British hamburgers.
Waheed Mahmood, 34, accused with six other British men of plotting a terror strike, claimed during a meeting in Pakistan that he had already tested the poison plan, said the witness, Mohammed Junaid Babar …
Babar, who had worked for a Pakistani software firm, said that in March 2003 Wahid Mahmood had asked for three computers for “the brothers,” which he said he took to mean for “members of al Qaeda.”
In late April 2002, he showed Mahmood a secret weapons store, close to his home in Lahore, and told him “to take them if he needed them,” Babar said.
“There were AK-47s and AK-47 magazines, about 2,000 to 3,000 rounds of ammunition and grenades,” Babar said. “We had buried them in the area outside Punjab University.”
Outside Punjab University? You fool! That’s where the student-bouncing Jeep training is held! This could end in disaster!
UPDATE. He drove in the name of love.
- He’s overestimating the importance of the number 19 in the Koran.
The number to concentrate on is 99
Ninety nine bottles of beer, three a’s, three b’s, one c, two d’s, thirty five e’s, seven f’s, four g’s, eight h’s, twelve i’s, one j, one k, five l’s, one m, twenty one n’s, seventeen o’s, one p, one q, eight r’s, twenty six s’s, twenty two t’s, four u’s, six v’s, eight w’s, four x’s, six y’s, and one z on the wall,Ninety nine bottles of beer,
If one of those bottles, four e’s, one g, one i, one k, one m, six n’s, seven o’s, one p, one q, one r, two t’s, two u’s, two w’s, one y, and one z should happen to fall,
Ninety eight bottles of beer, three a’s, three b’s, one c, two d’s, thirty one e’s, seven f’s, three g’s, eight h’s, eleven i’s, one j, five l’s, fifteen n’s, ten o’s, seven r’s, twenty six s’s, twenty t’s, two u’s, six v’s, six w’s, four x’s, and five y’s on the wall.
which can only be from a supernatural source. The counts in lines 1 and 4 are all correct, and the fallings from line 1 to line 4 are all correctly positive (can’t have negative bottles falling).
God must be involved.
This is a divine instruction to line up beer bottles.
- Tim:
“Five years ago Allah’s Love Brigades were slamming jets into the Pentagon and World Trade Center; now the best they can manage is bumping some coeds with a hired Jeep. Next: the Prophet’s elite rollerblade squadron shoves some ATM customers.”
As usual, Wikipedia has the answer!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohammed_Taheri-azar
“…majored in psychology and philosophy…”
So that explains why he went for the somewhat poetic “Run over American pigs with their own oversized SUV’s!” tactic instead of something more effective. Or at least that’s what Detective Goran would say about this situation, though he’d probably have no idea what could possibly inspire someone to poison hamburgers. Wouldn’t poisoning hotdogs be the Islamic thing to do? That way they’d only kill kuffars.
- Jeephad!Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 03 26 at 11:12 AM • permalink
- Another Islamic lie! It’s not Westerners driving those crazy SUVs around the Middle East, slamming into walking puptents and donkey carts and camels and such! It’s those crazy Arabs. They’re too used to camel-speed, and when they get in a situation, they can’t remember the brake is a pedal under their feet and not stick and reins in their hands.
- One man drove in the name of love
One man not in a car
One man drove, Quran justify
One man, Taheri-azarIn the name of love
He drove in the name of love
In the name of love
He drove in the name of loveOne coed by a nice brick fence
One man by a tree
One girl clipped on a wooden bench
By his rented CherokeeIn the name of love
He drove in the name of love
In the name of love
He drove in the name of lovePosted by Mr. Bingley on 2006 03 26 at 11:58 AM • permalink
- Such terrorists as the SUV Musliar are called “Lone Nuts” by the FBI, which has regularly been unable to connect the dots between what appear to be disparate events. Here are only a few:
28 October, 2002 J. Muhammed and Solvo arraigned for the murder of at least 10 innocent men women and children in the Washington D. C. area. Has a lab top, global tracking system, expensive guns in car. Is known to have flown all over the USA and has his own travel agent. Declared lone nuts.
4 July, 2002, Hadayet, an Egyptian, heavily armed, killed some Jews at El Al LAX airport and was declared by the FBI, less than an hour after the attack, to be a Lone Nut. Later the FBI added that he may have been despondent. (He owned a Jaguar and a Mercedes, enough to make anyone distraught enough to grab pistols and a knife to kill a few Jews. But what really depressed him was the American Flag his neighbor put up after Sept. 11). The FBI might not have noticed that he had sent his wife and children to Egypt the week before the attack, that he was a very religious Moslem according to his family, who blamed Israel for “ruining” Egypt according to neighbors.
23 May, 2002, P. Gott, a practicing Muslim, carries a Quran and a shotgun into Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans and shoots a US Department of Defense employee. Declared a Lone Nut.
22 December, 2001, R. Reid, shoebomber, classified initially as a Lone Nut and a Bit Eccentric, until the Israelis fingered him.
31 Oct, 1999, Ahmed crashes Flight 990 into US waters. Declared a Lone Nut.
23 Feb., 1997, Ali Hassan Abu Kamal shoots up the Empire State Building, kills, and is declared a Depressed Lone Nut.
1 March, 1994, Rashi Baz murders Jewish students on the Brooklyn Bridge. Declared to have acted alone except for help from Bassam Reyati, who admits concealing evidence and gets 5 years probation and a $1000 fine.
23 January 1993, Mir Aimal Kasi kills and wounds CIA employees. Declared a Lone Nut. His defense was that he was a brain damaged loner. This brain damaged loner escaped to Pakistan with a false passport. It was never explained how this loner was able to afford round trip fares without even having frequent flyer miles or how he got all that cash he was seen flaunting about or where he got the money to pay for his false papers and where he obtained his weapons.
1991 El Sayed A Nossair murdered Rabbi Meir Kahane. The murderer (unknown at the time) was declared a Lone Nut by the FBI. Later Nossair was tied to the WTC bombing in 1993 and subsequently tried for Kahane’s murder..
There are plenty of others, but we only note two more:
5 June, 1968, Sirhan Sirhan kills a Presidential Candidate. Declared a Depressed Lone Nut.
28 June, 2002, FBI Director Robert Mueller breaks bread with the American Muslim Council- willfully ignoring that group’s well established links to supporters of anti-USA terrorists. He is declared a Lone Nut.
- “Next: the Prophet’s elite rollerblade squadron shoves some ATM customers.”
Oh yeah! Now that’s the kind of humour we come here for, fan-jeeping-tastic! I want to see that movie when it’s made. Team America : World Police II – Jihad On Skates.
Or on ice.
Just not on desert sands. Too gritty, too much traction.
Posted by LeftieLatteLover on 2006 03 26 at 12:36 PM • permalink
- How about “Where the Jeeps Have No Blame”?Posted by Jim Treacher on 2006 03 26 at 01:17 PM • permalink
- Contaminated hamburgers? Cut-Me-Own-Throat Di’blah is back! Maybe Terry Pratchett can sue! Has anybody passed him Jeremy Sear’s phone number?Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 26 at 01:51 PM • permalink
- As someone who attempted to get through a mere English translation of the Koran (for a school assignment) not too many years ago, I can understand that reading it once, never mind fifteen times, can cause insanity.Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 03 26 at 01:52 PM • permalink
- #15 – Maybe that’s the ‘scientific and mathematical miracle’.Posted by Crispytoast on 2006 03 26 at 02:02 PM • permalink
- On a (barely) related note, Ray took on Jeeps and won!Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 03 26 at 02:38 PM • permalink
- He called the book ‘’a scientific and mathematical miracle, so there can be no doubt that it is from a supernatural source.’’
It’s such a work of scientific genius that it claims the Earth is a fixed, immovable object that the sun revolves around, and that God mades the stars so he would have missiles to throw at devils.
Sure, completely wrong according to modern astronomy but….hey, if a thousand year old book says it, it must be true!
Seriously…where does this “scientific miracle” crap come from? I’ve read the Qu’ran and not seen anything particularly miraculous.
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 26 at 04:20 PM • permalink
- lgf has a copy of his letter to police.Posted by drscroogemcduck on 2006 03 26 at 05:39 PM • permalink
- The New Mojeep OUt now.
Feeling tired of not finding a parking space at the local shops ladies?
Well, buy our new the New MoJeep and feel like a jillhad lady, soft girlish and yet armed and ready to take any pensioners car space.The new MoJeep is equipped with new Jillhad four wheel drive function and comes with a super v8/allah engine. If you buy one now, it comes with a free machine gun, a Korn UBD book for finding a holy car space and a free scarf. It does not come with batteries nor backpacks that’s additional.
- What proof is there that the Quran is “a scientific and mathematical miracle, so there can be no doubt that it is from a supernatural source”? The proof is right there in the book itself:
[2.2] This Book, there is no doubt in it, is a guide to those who guard (against evil). [32.2] The revelation of the Book, there is no doubt in it, is from the Lord of the worlds.
Of course, this is circular reasoning so absurd that it would be laughed out of a sophomore philosophy class, yet millions believe it. Not only that, but there are places where I would be killed for saying what is in this post.
- I have always lived my life by the proverb, “trust in God, but tie your camel securely”.
Nothing worse than improperly secured camels – if it’s not in the Koran it ought to be.
Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 03 26 at 07:42 PM • permalink
- Has he been offered a post at Yale yet?Posted by andycanuck on 2006 03 26 at 08:11 PM • permalink
- They would contaminate BEER?
A line in the sand must be drawn.
This means war.
Posted by Harry Buttle on 2006 03 26 at 08:27 PM • permalink
- ’a scientific and mathematical miracle, so there can be no doubt that it is from a supernatural source.’’
I’ll buy the “mathematical miracle” part; the statistical odds of the book being Allah’s very own effort at vanity publishing approach zero. Mohammed’s little helpers are going to have to a better job than this if they want to come across as seeming even remotely logical. Saying that the Koran is true, “because Allah says so right there on the first page, buddy!” puts me in mind of the first time I went to Canada with some friends. We were barely out of our teens, and I had never crossed a U.S. border before, and the Canadian border guard asked for some ID. I pointed to myself and nervously blurted out, “This is me!” He laughed and waved us on; of course, I didn’t claim to be God or anything.
- Oh ye of little faith, you have not read the truth:
All the stuff the Bible got wrong, well it’s in the Koran! And the Science what proves it!
Cheers
JMHPosted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2006 03 26 at 09:54 PM • permalink
- JOIN THE DOTS… or is that join the iDiOTS… 😉
Actually there is a very obvious connection between every one of these Lone Nuts. They all swim in the information that society shares via the media – news, movies, video games. The whiny losers see how to become famous and purge all their frustrations in one dramatic moment, and its so EASY because the media shows them how. Soem join organisations, some just go with a few mates. That seems to be what the London copycats were.
Not just TV and newspapers – any one in the world might fly on MS-Flight Simulator, and taking off from a digital Mieggs Field, Chicago what is the most obvious thing to do?
Some might therefore blame MICROSOFT for 9/11!
- ChrisPer — what can you expect from an entire generation that got its history from the X-Files?Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 03 26 at 11:25 PM • permalink
“… puts me in mind of the first time I went to Canada with some friends. We were barely out of our teens, and I had never crossed a U.S. border before, and the Canadian border guard asked for some ID. I pointed to myself and nervously blurted out, “This is me!” He laughed and waved us on …”
You had a much better experience that me. I took my family for a nice four day weekend in Detroit. Yes, everyone, once in their life should visit Detroit. While there, we decided to drive across the Canadian border to visit Windsor. Basically we wanted to see for ourselves whether Canada was the frozen hell hole we heard it was. (Answer: no, but close).
In order to get into Canada, cars must line up in a queue. It’s not like the New Jersey turnpike where you speed up and lines disappear when you go through the toll booths, the idea being to make a man out of you. After waiting a half hour, I became the second car in line and I went across the line where all cars are suppose to stay behind until being called by the customs guard. When he called me, he noticed my Ohio licenses plate and said in a distinctly Canadian accent “Sir, it’s been my experience that 80% of all drivers who ignore the line sign and cross the line are ignorant drivers from Ohio. What would you say about that”. At which I turned to my wife and said “how important is it for you to see Canada, because I’m 30 seconds away from getting out and kicking some Canadian guy’s ass”. And then I gave him my look, you know, the one Karl Rove gave a minion who didn’t sedate Dick Cheney before he went duck hunting.
Oh I still think about that Canuck and the ass that needed kicking. (My apologies to all other Canadians. It’s not your ass I want to kick, just his. And maybe former PM Chretien).
Posted by wronwright on 2006 03 27 at 12:02 AM • permalink
- Interesting note – the official creed about the Qu’ran is that it is the exact word of God – recited to the illiterate ‘tard Mohammed who using his UBER! memory was able to keep it in his head, unfucked up, until smarter people were able to write it down (without changing a word, of course.)
Muslims know this because…well, it says so, right there in the Qu’ran, as paco says.
Now what gets interesting is the similarity to the Book of Mormon.
Again, the word of God, given directly to a single prophet (ie Joseph Smith) of dubious integrity. (Difference that it’s on tablets, rather than in the voice of an angel).
However, unlike the claims of the Qu’ran, the Book of Mormon contains an affadavit – from Joe’s companions, who not only saw the angel, but touched the tablets, and made sure Joe translated them properly.
The Qu’ran, on the other hand, relies on hearsay….
The books have a lot more in common, such as casual racism, obsession with apostasy and blatant plagarism from Jewish and Christian texts.
…Odd, then that Muslims believe one, and not the other – especially considering the Book of Mormon has more “evidence”.
*cough*
Posted by Quentin George on 2006 03 27 at 01:48 AM • permalink
- I guess cutting off Abdul Rahman’s head will be in the name of love too.
SMH – Top clerics demand death for convert 24/3
Where is the outcry from “moderate” Muslims about this intolerance?
Maybe Sharia law/The Koran isn’t compatible with democracy after all?
- #6 RebeccaH, you are a genius! I believe you have uncovered yet another possible explanation as to what is making these Islam-o-nuts, well….nuts.
Deprived of their #1 outlet for their ever present, Ayatollah mandated, sexual frustration (see: camel), since they are now forced to travel exclusively in luxury US/European/Japanese made SUVs, their unquenched passions have driven them to insanity. Perhaps we need to petition SUV makers to design and install (most likely requiring a massive recall) an Emergency Inflatable Camel’s Ass or EICA system. Much like the more common Air Bag, the EICA would deploy when on-board systems detect an over-anxious state occurring in the driver. Think of the lives that could be saved.
- #41 AndrewM all the moderate muslims are running around in circles (figuratively speaking) in their forums.
On the one hand, they can’t believe that this ruling could be applicable in this day and age, it’s just those pesky religious hijackers again.
On the other, they are pissed off with the Western world applying pressure against an Islamic ruling, even if it is barbaric and they don’t really mean it.
Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2006 03 27 at 06:46 AM • permalink
On the one hand, they can’t believe that this ruling could be applicable in this day and age, it’s just those pesky religious hijackers again.
On the other, they are pissed off with the Western world applying pressure against an Islamic ruling, even if it is barbaric and they don’t really mean it.
In other words, the “moderates” are once more shown to not be all that moderate.
Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 03 27 at 09:19 AM • permalink
- You all got it all wrong. Listen, this guy is an Iranian, so I hear, and I can let you all in on the fact that it was just an accident! Listen, I’ve lived in Iran for years and I’ll tell you these guys can’t drive for s***t. The motorcyclists drive on the sidewalk ‘cause they’re ‘fraid of the car honkers. I was hit myself by one of these motormoroncyclists. Then what is all this BS about “LOVE”?? Listen, these Persians have an enormous pride and ego. He’ll never admit he can’t drive worth a damn. This would put him up to redicule by his mates. Say you did it for Allah and you become an immediate hero, a celebrity worth the attention of Cindy&Sheen; media whores. I can se it now, Save Taheri-azar movements all over the Islamic world and the canonization of his Jeep in Tehran. It’s worth the minor discomfort in a US resort-oops-jail.
- #44: Crickey! HRH looks like the chief eunuch in charge of Harun al-Rashid’s harem, straight out of the Tales of the Arabian Nights.
I think the family always has tended to sartorial eccentricity. I recall, from one of the Flashman novels, how Victoria, Albert and their brood were described in one scene as looking like “a family of German tinkers”.
- With apologies to Golden Earring
I’ve been drivin’ round the Quad my hands wet ‘neath the wheel
There’s a voice in my head that tell’s me to kill
It’s my Prophet callin’ say’s I need you here
And it’s half past one and I’m shiftin’ gear
When he is lonely and the longin’ gets too much
He sends a cable comin’ in from above
Don’t need no phone at all
We’ve got a thing that called’s Jihad Love
We’ve got a plane in the air, Jihad Love
The minaret is blaring some hate-filled song
Iman Ali’s is coming on strong
The Koran has got me hypnotized
And I’m speedin’ into some infidel’s thighs.
And that’s when I lost interest in continueing. If somebody would please pick it up at the break. And a one and a two….
Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2006 03 27 at 03:22 PM • permalink
- I guess his believing that the Koran is a mathematical miracle explains why he majored in Psychology and not, say Engineering.Posted by Michael Lonie on 2006 03 28 at 12:29 AM • permalink
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Nurse? Nurse! Can I have some of what Mr Rhhardin is on? Please?Posted by Stoop Davy Dave on 2006 03 28 at 02:50 PM • permalink
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Maybe he was trying to fluff up his resume so he could get a scholarship to Yale?