All over by 2012

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Last updated on August 5th, 2017 at 03:41 pm

Sky News reports:

Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe …

UPDATE. Greenpeace prepares for the cataclysm:

Environmental activists are building a replica of Noah’s Ark on Mount Ararat …

UPDATE II. A sure sign we’ve entered the end times.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/16/2007 at 04:32 AM
    1. 5 more years of harping and bullshit and then you all shut your pie holes? It’s a deal.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 16 at 04:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sky’s using the WWF as a news source?  Hm.

      Actually, I’m pretty sure there’s a Nostradamus quatrain about 2012 somewhere, along the lines of WWIII or economic collapse or the like; global disaster anyway.  Perhaps the ‘experts’ are just doing some topical tweaking.

      Posted by romeo on 2007 05 16 at 04:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. Climate change is now blamed on infrastructre collapse:

      http://www.abc.net.au/am/content/2007/s1924238.htm

      Posted by cjblair on 2007 05 16 at 04:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. Someone should organize a global class action suit against the AlGore.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 05 16 at 04:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling.

      (running around in circles, waving arms around)

      We must do something, we must do SOMETHING.

      I’m with Infidel Tiger at #1. Five years, then they just shut their cake holes.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 04:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Forgive me, I spelt infrastructure wrong.

      Posted by cjblair on 2007 05 16 at 04:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Methinks James is Leaping to conclusions (WWF: World-Wide F*ckwits?).

      #5
      Sky News is falling … in quality.

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 05:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think James Leape, from the WWF, is happy and carefreeee!!

      Posted by mad doc on 2007 05 16 at 05:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. So what do I have to do to ruin things by 2010?

      Posted by Ian Deans on 2007 05 16 at 05:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. …plant the seeds of change
      Great. Now the World Wrestling Federation tells me I should be planting seeds for change shrubs instead of drought resistant native species.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 05 16 at 05:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. Surely it’s a mistake, on their part, to specify a date for the apocalypse? Which would undermine their credibility a bit on date+1.

      Posted by m on 2007 05 16 at 05:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Well then, clearly nothing we can do will stop the coming apocalypse. So lets rev up the suv’s & party like its 2012.

      Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2007 05 16 at 05:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. it’s : PIMF

      Posted by Just Another Bloody Lawyer on 2007 05 16 at 05:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Personally, I’m glad to have a definite date.  It’s a good knowing when the world is coming to an end.  This way a body can plan for things – ‘cept I guess I don’t have to worry about a will or anything, since the world will end and all.  And all that money I’ve set aside for retirement can go to parteeee!  Yipee!

      They’re right about all of this, aren’t they?  I mean, I wouldn’t want to be irresponsible.

      Posted by saltydog on 2007 05 16 at 05:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. WWF?

      What’s the World Wrestling Federation got to do with climate change? Must be all those pyro effects they use!

      Posted by Chunder on 2007 05 16 at 05:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. plant the seeds of change

      These guys on hemp?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 05:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. These guys need Pacifiers for Angsty Climate Organisations(TM)

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 05:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #14 I’m also chuffed about a definite date. And the sooner it is the better.

      I can predict tomorrow’s weather with reasonable confidence, but I would be hesitant to bet the house on what the weather’s going to be like in 2 weeks. But global warmingers predict with great confidence what is going to happen in 2050, but refuse to tell us what next year is going to be like.

      What I wan’t is for some ‘authoritive’ global warminger mob to declare the equivalent of “Polar bears will be extinct by August 2008.” If it happpens, they convert me from being a sceptic to being a believer. It it doesn’t then they can blow AGW out their arse.

      Posted by Hobbes on 2007 05 16 at 05:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Jesus -you gotta love this shit!!

      Check out the icons on the right of the skynews page “The CO2 effect explained”  The hydrogen ion concentration in the ocean has increased by 30% in the last 200 years -thats what it says so IT MUST BE TRUE!!!!

      And it is true……to my fairly certain knowledge, starting in 1807 the Royal Navy -the most organised maritime entity, had a few other things on its mind but certainly ensured that before the Nile, Cophenhagen etc, the first action after the hands went to action stations (general quarters) was to take water samples and analyse them, pH being only one of 17234 analysis points. And they found time to serve the guns!!  The mythology of Trafalgar -Nelson is widely believed to have breathed “Kiss me, Hardy” before expiring -can now be revealed as antiprogressive capitalist-imperialist Gaia-hating propaganda, as tape recordings taken at the time clearly show that he really moaned “pH is…. badly……”

      And of course each of the main seatrading nations of which there were about 4, faithfully sampled the oceans each watch during their whaling expeditions and whilst transporting immigrants via the Middle Passage, so the records are good and the science is closed.

      Believe me – I’m an old sailor man

      Cheers
      RodC

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 05 16 at 05:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. #12,lol, you stole my thunder. Will Prince release an update?

      Posted by Nic on 2007 05 16 at 05:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. they can blow AGW out their arse.

      Isn’t that where the idea came from in the first place, and they’ve all just been blowing it out their arse ever since?

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 05:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Whoops -COPENHAGEN

      Cheers
      RodC

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 05 16 at 05:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Keith Allott, head of WWF-UK’s climate change programmes, said: “This report shows that although the scale of the climate change challenge can seem daunting, it can be tackled provided we act with real urgency.  We can slash carbon emissions and meet global energy demand without resorting to the red herring of nuclear power.”

      Ever notice these environmentalists never come out with actual details about these great plans.  Could it be because they know 99% of people would summarily dismiss it?

      For me this great plan to reduce carbon emissions must involve windmills.  Every yard will be filled with windmills.  Which will provide 20% of the electricity used by each family.  The other 80%?  We must scale back by doing without.  We don’t need it, or at least the environmentalists don’t think so.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 16 at 05:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. We need a Bolshie 5-year plan, eh, Komrades?

      Boxer: plough in the seeds of change …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 05:43 AM • permalink

 

    1. #9 To destroy the world, you need to re-elect both the Liberal Party and the Republican Party. Y’know, because they’re evil and just won’t do something to stop global warming.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 16 at 06:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. This is approaching farce.  Calls to mind Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Eleanor Bron, &c. in The End of the World.

      Long silence.

      “Same time next week, then?

      Posted by walterplinge on 2007 05 16 at 06:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. I heard this crap during breakfast and politely invited my wife to consider all the impressionable 5-10 year olds out there hearing the world only had 5 years to live.

      Great, just great.

      They claim deniers need to be brought up on Court charges.  I say these truthers need to be brought up on Court charges for inciting civil unrest and child abuse.

      Forgive me if I don’t hold my breath.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 16 at 06:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. RodC, Great post.

      Posted by moptop on 2007 05 16 at 06:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. We have a wide and highly aware
      section of the community tuned in here.  Can anyone remember, either directly or through reading etc ANYTHING like the present mindless hysteria.  Like most of us, I lived through the 2000 computer thing and I don’t recall it approaching such heights of lunacy.

      Any thoughts? The South Sea Bubble? The Dutch tulip craze of 17 hundred something?

      Cheers
      RodC

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 05 16 at 06:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cuban Missile Crisis? If a bomb goes off reach for the picnic blanket.

      Posted by cjblair on 2007 05 16 at 06:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. Fox News channel had a news story recently about a British man who is suing his hospital for misdiagnosing cancer.  When he was told he had a few months to live he quit his job and spent all his savings living it up.  A year later he was told he didn’t have cancer after all, only pancreatitis.

      With all this warm-mongering and deadline setting wouldn’t some people be equally likely to live it up while they could.  I’m looking forward to 2012 when a class action is launched against Sky News and WWF by people who’ve been duped or claim to have been.

      Posted by Crossie on 2007 05 16 at 06:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. For those with an archeological interest we have long known the end of the world is December 23rd, 2012.  This is when the Aztec/Mayan? calendar ended.  (Well it is a minor interest)Mayan calendar

      Posted by Munificent on 2007 05 16 at 06:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. That’s an industry that will suffer, calendar makers. 2012 means on five more years of profits. Imagine a world with out novelty calendars, no ones for members of parliament or real estate agents…

      Posted by cjblair on 2007 05 16 at 06:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Here is an example why nobody form Norway should be let anywhere near climate policy.  Wouldn’t you just looove to buy a tree and an MP3 of the AlGore give you a big ol’ pat on the back from itunes?

      Even though the algore is on the Apple board (FAIK, to ingratiate Apple with future democrat governments), considering the bollocking Steve Jobs gave greenpeace last week, I doubt Apple would be so stupid.

      Posted by entropy on 2007 05 16 at 06:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Forest fires, floods, avalanches, earthquakes, hailstorms, great winds and terrible plagues are part of Jehovah’s arsenal against the United Nations, which itself is armed only with spears, hydrogen bombs, poison gas and bows and arrows, at Armageddon.  What’s left afterwards is only the PBS TV channels.  Just checking my edition of the Watchtower climate issue.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2007 05 16 at 06:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. There was a similar article on about page 15 of the Metro (a free London rag).  I mean, are these people serious?  The world is going to end and it’s on page 15?!

      Posted by murph on 2007 05 16 at 06:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. #36, Murph – I saw that one too.  Those free London “newspapers” (London Lite, London Paper, Metro) are little more than worthless rags stuffed to the brim with the latest photos of drunken limey celebrities and climate change hysteria.

      Posted by HisHineness on 2007 05 16 at 07:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe …

      ZOMG!!! There’s only one hope for the world now – someone needs to make a dramatic DVD that grossly missrepresents the science behind climate change and scares the shit out of people.  Then they should whine about the looming castaphrophe for YEARS before finally assembling a crack team of top pop artists to perform at earth saving concerts around the world.  Then they should open a secret Swiss bank account for all the carbon credit millions and run away with the Mexican maid that they’ve been banging behind Tippers back for the last 12 months.  And it has to happen YESTERDAY!!!!

      Posted by bondo on 2007 05 16 at 07:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. I am really pissed off cause I just took out a ten year gym membership.  I hate that.  At least I know not to take the dealer offered extended warranty on my next car, (V-8 with all the power opitions of course).

      Posted by surfmaster on 2007 05 16 at 07:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. OT – a link on the same page tells us that activists are hopping mad over cull plans.

      Yes, animal rights campaigners have criticised proposals for a mass kangaroo cull in Australia. More than 3,000 animals face being shot dead in a bid to reduce numbers and combat starvation.
      How could we. What slaughter! They are entitled to the freedom to starve. This could lead to their extinction. After we’ve killed the remaining 49,997,000 of course.

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 05 16 at 07:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Fits in nicely with Harmonic Convergence.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmonic_Convergence

      Posted by Nova Scotia Mike on 2007 05 16 at 07:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. On a related topic:

      Vatican denies hiding the full truth about the end of the world.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 16 at 08:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. Seriously O/T; but I’ve got to give brownie points for whatever his name is Morrow from The Chaser* for ambushing Sheikh Hillbilly and offering him the use of a Mufti mask, in the face of a large minder.

      Perhaps the change of management is starting to change things a bit on the ABC, but promos for Andrew Denton’s cowardly treatise on the American Religious loon community seems to infer status quo- the treatise snorks on about “a country dominated by religion”, which doesn’t sound like the US to me, sounds a bit more like Saudi Arabia- how come foureyes isn’t poking his microphone into the bearded mushes of assorted sulafist scholars? Perhaps the idea of a Baghdad short back and sides isn’t appealing to our earnest correspondent, but for once I’d watch one of his turgid, polemic productions.

      Nothing like an easy target who is polite and civilly answers questions, even if the replies are daffy, is there you gutless little weasel.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 16 at 08:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. heh, I don’t know if anyone has been following the latest shenanigans over at telstra, but they have posted a poll seeking views on who is blocking high speed broadband in Australia.  Options include the guvmnt, the ACCC, telstra and its competitors.  Apparently they took the poll down a week ago as it was running 65% blaming telstra – spammers, apparently 🙂  Anyhoo, they have set it up again with some protection, and now it is running 80 percent against telstra.  These guys are tools.

      Posted by entropy on 2007 05 16 at 08:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. telstra poll link

      Posted by entropy on 2007 05 16 at 08:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmmm.

      Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe …

      Which is absolutely amazing to me.

      Particularly since it took the Boston Red Sox like 40 years to win the World Series of Baseball.

      So that means Gaia can be murdered in only 1/4th the time it took for the Red Sox to win the Championship.

      Posted by memomachine on 2007 05 16 at 08:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. #19: Brilliant, Rod! Nelson’s “last words” particularly funny.

      As to other waves of hysteria, I’ve been around for 51 years, and I don’t recall anything with quite the global sweep, the mass dissemination and absorption of misinformation, as the climate change hustle.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 08:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Meh!

      How can you doubt that this report is wrong? The recent brightness study proves beyond doubt that Neptune is undergoing gerbil worming.

      That’s the planet these idiots come from.

      MarkL
      Canberra

      Posted by MarkL on 2007 05 16 at 08:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. …it took the Boston Red Sox like 40 years to win the World Series of Baseball.

      A sign of the End Times if I ever saw one.

      Posted by ErnieG on 2007 05 16 at 08:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. World Wildlife Fund once had Prince Philip as its patron. It has credibility. It did some significant stuff in protecting animals and their habitat.

      Then the ratbag left infiltrated it. Now it does nothing except spend the money of the gullible on advancing radical Marxist politics. It ditched the old World Wildlife Fund name for WWF so that those who still gave generously couldn’t complain later they thought their donations went to saving animals.

      Posted by Contrail on 2007 05 16 at 08:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. WWF?  I thought it had somethihng to do with wrestling?

      Posted by surfmaster on 2007 05 16 at 08:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #31 I’ve got enough in savings to last 5 years, so I’m going to quit my job and spend the countdown to the end of the world chasing after Ozzie babes. As to past waves of hysteria, how about the War of the Worlds broadcast of 1938?

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 05 16 at 08:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. What a bunch of poopsickles.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 05 16 at 08:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. #51 It is to do with wrestling. They’re trying to find ways to increase incentives to be ecological and whatnot.

      To cut a long story short, if you don’t reduce your carbon footprint by 2012 the Undertaker will come round your house and choke-slam you through a table.

      Posted by Don Charleone on 2007 05 16 at 09:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. re#35

      Just checking my edition of the Watchtower climate issue

      What’s the swimsuit issue like?

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 16 at 09:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. 31. Crossie

      I was just thinking of that story when I read this.
      Heres the link to the story.

      Its from the Sun so The accuracy might be a bit iffy.
      I was getting all motivated to go out and take over the world and force people to live in harmony with nature through cruel and coercive means. Now ive heard theres only 5 years left I cant be arsed.

      I also have a theory which better educated members here might have an opinion on. From time to time migratory animals turn up in places where they “shouldnt” be. All species try to expand as far as their habitat will let them.
      Couldnt these behaviours be seen as survival rather than abberant actions for animals?
      If habitats change (as they did during the little ice age) why werent there mass extinctions of migratory birds? Could it be a survival trait that a certain % of a herd or group will attempt to colinise inhospitible areas?
      Dont think Ive ever seen “animals in strange places” put up as a survival option.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 16 at 09:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe …

      Any what happens if we come up with that Gaia saving plan in Year 6?  It’s too late?

      Unadulterated bull shit.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 16 at 09:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. In re: the update. Glad to see that Lord Narayan has decided to make an honest tree out of the Goddess Laxmi. It was all getting rather scandalous.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 09:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Our planet is just five years away from climate change catastrophe …

      And no doubt when the apocalypse doesn’t occur in 5 years the media will hold these loons to account and will never listen to them again.

      Like the hole in the ozone layer, acid rain, nuclear winter, the Y2K bug, SARs, mad cow disease, peak oil….right?

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2007 05 16 at 09:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. By the way, can we start calling him Al Goebbels, yet?

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 09:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. #55

      Swimsuit issue has lots of she-goats in bhurkinis.

      Posted by Hucbald on 2007 05 16 at 09:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. Paco, how much would a Project and Assignment Completion Originator set me back?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 16 at 09:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmmm.

      A sign of the End Times if I ever saw one.

      Yeah you’re not kidding.

      When they won I took a quick look at the sky waiting for the moon to turn as blood and the seas to start boiling.

      Posted by memomachine on 2007 05 16 at 09:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re #32, Munificient, here are some more links concerning the influence of the old and no longer used Mayan calendar on natural forces that have been in motion for eons.

      For some reason, the phrase “mass hysteria” comes to mind……

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 16 at 09:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. The sky is falling in.

      THE SKY IS FALLING IN!

      I’m off to bed…

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 05 16 at 09:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. WWF = Worrywarts With Funds

      IPCC = Idiots Preaching Climate Change

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 16 at 09:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. 62. Ash_

      Fortunately the PACO* group of companies has gone beyond the old worn out saw of “If you have to ask you cant afford it”.
      As a modern progressive** company they understand your need for their fine line of products thats why they introduced the new exciting Bond-a-offspring*** range of payment options. In addition to owning your own PACO* product you will no longer have to worry about educating,feeding, or housing your children as the benevolent arm of PACO corp**** will handle that from the minimum working age to the grave!

      * Where legal.
      ** As per the 1870 “Empire Blood and Glory” dictionary meaning.
      *** Minimum 3 offspring to qualify.
      **** We meant malevolent.Our bad, no-one reads the fine print anyway.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 05 16 at 09:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. #67: Frollicking Mole: You are now in charge of our indentured servitude
      Human Resources Department. Keep up the good work!

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 09:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. Environmental activists are building a replica of Noah’s Ark on Mount Ararat …

      If they make Al Gore the commander, they’d better be building one of these.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 09:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. So what you’re telling me Frollicking Mole, is that there’s absolutely no easy way for me to get this assignment done, and I might have to actually exert some effort and do work?

      That doesn’t seem like something the Procrastinators And Comatose Organisation would approve of.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 16 at 09:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Udate II – Trees getting married????

      Actually, I don’t blame the actual people involved. It’s just an odd cultural tradition. We have those too – a fluffy buuny handing out chocolate eggs because a hippie was nailed to a cross. WTF? I bet that sounds pretty silly to a Hindu.

      But this line in the report made it all worth while – “such ceremonies that one cannot afford to ignore”. I see, because silly people are serious about something silly, we should be too. Alright then, I’m off to fuck a gum tree.

      Posted by Tom H on 2007 05 16 at 09:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. #68 Paco
      Hey! I think that my boss is familiar with the indentured servitude er, Human Resources section that you use. In fact, I think she also believes that the slaves employees should be grateful for her beneficence.

      She’s still a leave nazi.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 09:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m off to fuck a gum tree.

      Just make sure you take your axe.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 09:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #11 m

      Surely it’s a mistake, on their part, to specify a date for the apocalypse? Which would undermine their credibility a bit on date+1.

      Paul Ehrlich is still worshipped as some sort of visionary, so that would… no.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 16 at 10:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think this whole thing is a case of global “medical student syndrome”.  When we sent probes to Venus and discovered that instead of being a wonderful cloud covered world that might harbor life it was instead a noxious, high pressure, extremely high temperature barren environment (presumably due to the greenhouse effect since it has an atmosphere that’s over 95% carbon dioxide) we (or at least some of us) panicked.

      Just as medical students studying a disease become convinced they have the symptoms of that disease we suddenly decided we were just like Venus and that we were doomed to Venus’ fate, even though Venus’ atmosphere is 96.5% carbon dioxide and ours is 0.038%  Talk about an overreaction.  Keep in mind, though, that ours used to be 0.028%.  Surely that’s reason to panic.  In five years, we’re going to be just like Venus.  I’m sure of it.

      Anyway, I find the timing suspicious.  We were in the middle of the “next ice age” scare talk when the picture on Venus started to coalesce and suddenly Venus’ fate became our fate.  Goodbye ice age, hello greenhouse.  It’s just too convenient to be a coincidence.  Science (and scientists) can suffer from hypochondria, too.

      Posted by kcom on 2007 05 16 at 10:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Udate II – Trees getting married????
      You’ve never heard of tying the knot?

      Apparantly you’ve tied one on, as you’re off to ravish a knot hole. Good luck with that.

      P.S. Jesus wasn’t a hippie. he washed, worked and took responsibility for things that he never did (that obscure cross thing). Hippies by definition refuse to accept responsibility even for themselves. Since you can’t get the Easter Bunny right, you shouldn’t be expected to get the crucifixion right.

      I’m sure that you and the gum tree will find a warm welcome on the ark II.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 16 at 10:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. WWF: World Weary Farts

      Al, the Gerbil-warming ex-Veep

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 10:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Greenies are building a replica of Noah’s Ark on Mount Krakafat?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 10:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. there’s absolutely no easy way for me to get this assignment done, and I might have to actually exert some effort and do work?

      Ash – thinking progressively here, it sounds to me like you are being oppressed by your universities narrow definition of knowledge.  Perhaps you should point out to your lecturer that your assessment does not accurately measure your sense of wonder.

      Posted by bondo on 2007 05 16 at 10:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe it’s a better sign of the times that underneath the article on trees getting married was an ad for artificial Christmas trees. Somehow, I can’t see the plastic tree getting hitched to the aluminum model – you know, mixed marriages seldom work.

      Posted by Urbs in Horto on 2007 05 16 at 10:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. #79 Bondo, the oppression card… I like it!

      Maybe I should convince my lecturer that the best way to measure my knowledge is to fill me with liquor in November and get me to the stage of drunk when I know all.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 16 at 10:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. 5 more years of harping and bullshit and then you all shut your pie holes? It’s a deal.

      Infidel—you kidding?  That’s not how it works.

      In five years, they’re going to point to whatever token legislation and ineffectual bureacracies they’ve passed and say, “See?  It worked!  We saved you!”

      It’s like the old Firesign Theatre skit about the hippies who think their wasted, hungover guru makes the sun rise every day… only given the force of law…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 16 at 10:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. “Environmental activists are building a replica of Noah’s Ark on Mount Ararat …

      And the Moonbats entered two by two, followed by the Hippies and other unclean creatures.

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2007 05 16 at 11:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. Summer starts in just over a month,

      and it was 0 this morning in winnipeg I think their catastrophe is upon us.

      6 degrees below normal, why can’t people drive their SUV’s a bit more?

      Lows will be +1 on the weekend if you trust the weathermenpersons.

      Posted by hollingshead on 2007 05 16 at 11:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. …their wasted, hungover guru makes the sun rise every day…

      I have it on good authority that The Goracle does, in fact, make that sun rise in the morning! With carbon credits.

      /the moonbat barks

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 16 at 11:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. In terms of there being similar “the world is domed” hysteria, I remember a TV special on Nostradamus’s prophecies in the early 1980’s that caused considerable anxiety among my fellow tots at pimary school, and in the wider community. Phillip Adams and Barry Jones (as Phil was fond of reminding his listeners for many years afterwards) persuaded the TV station responsible to broadcast a program showing the other side of the story, where Barry and Phil debunked the whole thing as irresponsble panic-mongering.

      Compare and contrast contemporary leftist concerns of panic mongering regarding the proven, continuing and open threat of islamic supremacism (especially the Iranian nuclear-armed variety), as against the unproven and probably unproveable threat of anthropogenic climate apocalypse.

      Posted by Jim Geones on 2007 05 16 at 11:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Alice Cooper’s new hit single has just been released.

      “Schools out for….ever!”

      Considering everything, I’d still rather be in Philadelphia.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 16 at 11:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. A celebration of tree miscegenation.  Surely a sign that the End Times are nigh.

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 05 16 at 11:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. For those with an archeological interest we have long known the end of the world is December 23rd, 2012.  This is when the Aztec/Mayan? calendar ended.

      Curiously, I think it’s also the end of a particular phase of the sun’s cycle. Which means the solar-driven warming will probably stop about then.

      So, really, the “five-years left” claim is more about how much time they have to convince everyone.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 05 16 at 11:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. I better tell the Mrs.  We can both quit our jobs and live off the 401K money.  Cancel the life insurance, too.  My daughter can bag that advanced degree, she won’t be around long enough for it to pay off.

      All my problems are solved by the goracle.  Do I need to leave a tip or something?

      Posted by MarkD on 2007 05 16 at 11:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. Somehow, I can’t see the plastic tree getting hitched to the aluminum model – you know, mixed marriages seldom work

      They may end up living in tin.

      No thanks are necessary.

      Posted by Blue Hen on 2007 05 16 at 11:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m with Infidel Tiger at #1. Five years, then they just shut their cake holes.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 04:51 AM • permalink

      Doesn’t work that way 10 and 20 years ago they were saying were would be doomed.  Styen had a whole list.  When the deadline goes just make a new one,

      Posted by hollingshead on 2007 05 16 at 11:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #89 Rob Crawford

      So, really, the “five-years left” claim is more about how much time they have to convince everyone.

      Bingo!

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 16 at 12:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. To continue:

      I wonder if “2012” will encourage the same sort of hysteria that the so-called “Millenium Bug” did, with the same sort anti-climactic *thud* of a result.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 16 at 12:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Environmental activists are building a replica of Noah’s Ark on Mount Ararat …

      Ummmm – Why?  They generally don’t believe in the Christian god or the Bible, do they?  I thought they were acolytes of the Goracle.

      Posted by Barbara Skolaut on 2007 05 16 at 12:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. #89 So, really, the “five-years left” claim is more about how much time they have to convince everyone.

      And get their money.
      #94 I wonder if “2012” will encourage the same sort of hysteria that the so-called “Millenium Bug” did, with the same sort anti-climactic *thud* of a result.

      I’m counting on it.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 16 at 12:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #95 Barbara: It’s a little-known fact that many of the stories and traditions in the Bible were originally inspired by Al Gore.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 12:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. Re. tree marriages: It’s because I’m pining for her. (Anyway, she’s got a nice ash.)

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 05 16 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry #98 Andy, I’m taken.

      I’ve already gotten enough bark from a “progressive” about how I should be married, otherwise I’m not a conservative. If you understand, please explain it to me.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 05 16 at 02:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Since nobody else seems to have bothered correcting it yet, it took the Boston Red Sox 86 years (1918-2004) to win a World Series.  In the meantime, the Chicago Cubs haven’t won one since 1908, which will make 100 years next season.

      Posted by Vexorg on 2007 05 16 at 02:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Cubbies winning the Series would indeed portend the end of all things…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 05 16 at 02:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. Spiny

      I think the other half of that is; And the Cleveland Browns winning that big thingy.

      I think we’re safe for quite awile.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 16 at 02:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Re #94, Spiny, now is the time to spin up the Planetary Apocalyptic Containment Organization™, in order to reduce the incipient hysteria.

      For a suitable fee, of course.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 05 16 at 02:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #81 Ash

      get me to the stage of drunk when I know all

      Or make you a teenager.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 03:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. #103: For a suitable fee, of course.

      The sweetest words in the English language, RJ.

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 16 at 03:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. I thought the sweetest words in the English language were “tax haven” and “no extradition”

      I stand corrected.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 16 at 03:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. I always thought the sweetest words are “I don’t think I can control myself much longer”.  God, those were the days.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 05 16 at 04:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Has anyone informed those arboreal lovebirds that this move could lead to a sudden decline in good roots?

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 05 16 at 05:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Damn, wonder how many strange pieces of ass, I can get in 5 years?…Hmmmmm, gotta plan, you know.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 05:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. They want to slash carbon emissions without nuclear power. Well, the Federal Government just doubled the solar panel rebate to $8,000, which should give everyone a fairly good indication as to how economically sensible that form of sustainable energy is.

      There’s good and bad when the media headlines misrepresent the “problem”, in this case suggesting the catastrophe is only 5 years away, as opposed to the subtly different concept of a 5 year window period for action, with the follow-on catastrophe generations away. There’s the danger such alarmism will provoke governments into silly responses, or entice people to elect such silly governments, but in 5 or 10 years (pick your favourite “prediction”), when we’ve used up the window period and nothing significant has been achieved in terms of emission reductions, then they will have effectively neutered themselves.

      Prediction: May 17th, 2012 – latest studies show, that because of ******factors (as yet unknown but soon to miraculously appear) we’ve still got another 5-10 years to tear down capitalism save the planet.

      And this bit made me laugh:

      Once the ceremonies and the feast are over, the tree becomes a subject of worship for villagers. At a time when the world is debating global warming and climate change, it is perhaps such ceremonies that one cannot afford to ignore.

      And the fine line between environmentalism and religion vanishes forever.

      In further news, Mrs Banyan accused her husband of adultery. He was apparently caught with his nuts under the skirt of Miss Maple. And two slippery elms, last seen holding up some nests, are still evading police.

      Fresh calls to abandon out-dated homosexuality laws were again heard as Mr Ruff Barker faced courts. “I can’t help it,” he pleaded, “I just love dates.”

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 05:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Spiny, the Red Sox won it, and nothing happened but a lousy lunar eclipse… Then again…

      Posted by moptop on 2007 05 16 at 05:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. The loopiest moonbat law professor I ever had used to argue that trees should have rights at law including standing to sue (see the leading High Court case Minister v Moreton Bay Fig & Ors 125 CLR 23)

      Presumably this means they can also file for divorce.

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 16 at 05:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #47

      bouts of apocalyptic fervour have always gripped ‘the known world’ whatever that happened to mean at the time. Christendom was particularly prone to them. Jewish history is replete with false messiahs supposedly ushering in the end of the world. Don’t know enough about other cultures to compare, maybe the pagan and animistic elements of Hinduism, Buddhism etc prevented that sort of mindset.

      Now we have our first truly global false messiah and false armaggedon. Proof that the global village is still a medieval village in a lot of ways.

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 16 at 06:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. One village, JonathanH, but why so many idiots?

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 05 16 at 06:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. Apparently April was the coldest for 50 years in North America.  But they AGW cultists say look at the average!  March was hot, April was cold.

      I say if you argue:

      1. CO2 is the primary cause
      2. CO2 was greater in April than March

      there must be another reason …

      Another interesting study found higher temperature averages at 3pm, but cooler temperature averages at midnight, over the last 100 years.  Again, if CO2 was causing heat to be locked in, this couldn’t happen.  But don’t let facts stand in the way of your religion.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 16 at 06:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. I always thought the sweetest words are “I don’t think I can control myself much longer”.  God, those were the days.

      Actually, the sweetest words in the English language are “Yes!  Yes!  Yes!”

      Which may explain all the idiots.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 05 16 at 06:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ummmm hey, will you anti doomsday guys knock it off, I’m workin’ on getting laid a lot…in fact, I may change my nic from El Cid to Sir Laidalot…I can’t have all my friends here and there, telling potentials, it’s bullshit….:).

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 06:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. #52 dean martin
      Yes you’re onto it with the Orson Welles and the War of the Worlds caper. This was the greatest scare mongering stunt in history until now and it worked a treat.

      I think there are significant paralells that should explored, a plan of attack formulated and the ability of a few to manipulate the many widely publicised.

      In those days the mass hysteria was generated and disseminated by radio, now TV & the net.

      Orson Gore
      Al Gorewelles
      Goreson Welles

      Seriously, with the date of no return being set, now we have something meaty to chew on.

      It is all very well for us here and elsewhere to lampoon this rubbish, which is loads of fun, but for christ sake, this is serious

      Can anyone think of a high profile someone who is capable of heading a public campaign that encapsulates the alternative view and dismembers this rot in a calculated and logical manner?

      At the moment the many dissenters are going over the top of the trench one at a time and can be easily picked off, as it were.

      If we need to use the cult of celebrity to prove our point then so be it. Someone who is financially and intellectually secure enough not to be economically or mentally crushed, cause crush they will be.

      We can all see what we are up against, with Greenpeas, WWF etc all highly funded and organised.

      It’s high time for an organisation that represents and disseminates a more rational view to emerge.

      I’m thinking of a hybrid Lomborg/Malkovich type person. There must be a few out there?

      This is now just plain evil and must be stopped.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 16 at 06:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #114 Swinish,
      Obviously, there are some villages missing their idiot.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 06:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. #115 peter m.

      If you can remember the study, I’d be grateful for a link, because I’ve only read of decreased diurnal temperature ranges over the past 100 years. This is consitent with greenhouse gas theory, but – like everything else in this debate – is open to interpretation (see here).

      And I trust you’re being sarcastic in the first part of your post.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 07:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #118 Pickles.

      Michael Crichton (Jurassic Park, State of Fear) is doing his best. Some good stuff on his website here.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 07:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Lombovich, lombovich, lombovich…

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 07:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. #121 dminor

      Yep thanks for that, that’ll keep me busy for a while. I had heard of the eugenics thingy and saw a doco on SBS some time ago but as I remember the doco seemed to imply that it was invented by the NAZIS. Crichton goes a bit further back.
      Frightening parrallels.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 16 at 07:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. I wonder how much this subject has changed since I took it back in ‘82.

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 05 16 at 07:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Look, people, I know you’re unhappy about the five years thing but I can only fit so many polar bears in the smoker at one go…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 16 at 07:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. #125 Richard

      You SMOKE polar bears?

      Where do you get the big rolly-papers from?

      Oh, wait. I see.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 08:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Where do you get the big rolly-papers from?

      Oh dear God.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 08:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. I loved the Chaser last night, it really showed up Sheik dumb dumb, as usual, the pull out the Your a racist card, and I’m going to punch you!!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. #125

      Richard, try a hangi. This is a traditional Maori method of cooking (probably also used in Hawaii as the Maoris came from near there) whereby you dig a hole in the ground, fill it with hot rocks, chuck in whatever you want to cook, and cover it.

      Large hole = many polar bears. Could be quite a feast. I’m waiting for the invite.

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 16 at 08:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Smokin’ ‘ems, easy. Lightin’ ‘ems a bitch.

      hey, what the hell, thread is making me want to pour some booze

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 08:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. #112
      trees should have rights

      To have rights, isn’t one burdened with obligations: what legal obligations do trees have?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 08:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #43 #128
      Caught that one: such a moderate lil’ character, aint he?
      Did The Chaser take him out of context?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 05 16 at 08:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hi E_Cid!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Egg_ no it showed him up. they wanted to duck tape him. Muzlim muzzle.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. I want to work for the Chaser, what fun!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. 1.6
      It’s duct tape.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 08:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. LOL hi Kae, oh duc tape..LOL

      I thought Americans called in Duck tape, we call it masking tape here.. LOL

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. duct tape and masking tape are totally different

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 16 at 08:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. well, black sticky stuff.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. null

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. OK…Cuba Libre. Oh HI 1.6.

      Yes Lady Kae is right…duct tape. We did try the duck tape, but the feathers just made it impossible to stick.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 08:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. well, black sticky stuff.

      That’s our famous, tar tape. OR Vegemite.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 05 16 at 08:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Vegemite is tasty on toast.

      I’m going to say, “Struth!” I didn’t know!

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t spit your coffee out on the screen I wasn’t trying to be funny.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 05 16 at 08:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. No, no, no. It was a typo, 1.618 – see, ‘k’ and ‘l’ right next to each other on the keyboard. Boos and hisses to kae for alleging otherwise.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. #131

      egg i see lots of charters of rights but no charters of obligations. That’s exactly the point: the post-modern conception of ‘rights’, shorn of the old natural law links to a divine order and servitude to lord, to king and to god, imposes no obligations. Theodore Dalrymple wrote a wonderful article in the Spectator a while back (available only on archive for subscribers) about the kind of asshole ‘It’s my right to do this…’ kind of society this breeds. He is (or was) a doctor in a hospital in london, and had to deal with a certain class of visitors wandering in at all hours, making noise, disrupting procedures, smoking, drinking, in other words doing whatever the fuck they like, because that’s their ‘right.’
      Similarly if you look at the history of cases brought under the new humans rights charters in NZ and Canada an overwhelming percentage of them are vexatious ‘It’s my right to walk down the street naked because I’m a practising Dangledickian and this is part of my religion’ sorts of cases.

      Trees fit perfectly into this obligation-free conception of rights. So of course do chickens and cows and piggies and polar bears and all other instinct-driven creatures who wouldn’t know a ‘right’ if it jumped up and bit them on the bum. It’s vapid marshmellow-headed bullshit.

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 16 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. #137. As the resident ex roadie on this site I can tell you that it wasn’t masking tape but GAFF(ER) tape.

      It is known as “The Force” in the industry. It has a light side, a dark side and it holds the universe together!

      Posted by Gibbo on 2007 05 16 at 09:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. 2012, eh?

      Im beginning to wonder if all these greenies and global warming idiots arent just disgruntled X-Files fans.  “The CO2 is out there!!”

      Well, fine.  Does this mean I can sit on my front porch New Years Eve, 2011 and when it turns midnight I can start gasping for air???

      Posted by Sharon_Ferguson on 2007 05 16 at 10:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. #148

      My nephews have an edition of the boardgame Risk called ‘Risk 2012’, in which the world has been taken over by robots.

      could be Sky News has found a new source of scientific data

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 16 at 10:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. 2012 being the year that colonization starts (in X Files fandom that is)

      Posted by Sharon_Ferguson on 2007 05 16 at 10:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. All this 2012/2020/2050 nonsense – Kyoto in particular – reminds me a bit of Stalin’s 5 year plans. One difference – Stalin was ostensibly trying to build, not dismantle, Russia’s industry and economy.

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 16 at 10:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Anyone notice that the complete lack of signs of global catastrophe inversely corresponds to the stridency of heaty hollering?

      The more I see the more I believe evolution is a myth- humanity is definately getting stupider by the nanosecond- I reckon .these spuds are closer to the mark that Chuck Darwin.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 16 at 10:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Trees getting married! What a year for nuptials. I’m still getting over the Sudanese and the goat’s wedding.
      And here’s some news for all those with a rose in every cheek.

      Posted by slatts on 2007 05 16 at 11:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Meanwhile, Australia had its 8th year in a row with below average cyclone activity.

      You’ll get all the details on the evening news (/not)

      http://tsr.mssl.ucl.ac.uk/

      Posted by phil_b on 2007 05 16 at 11:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. I was going to marry a tree, but she thought that I was a sap. What a birch.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 05 16 at 11:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Greenpeace is building Noah’s Ark out of timber? They cut down healthy trees??

      Posted by The Leadster on 2007 05 17 at 12:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. #155
      you’re just not poplar enough

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 05 17 at 01:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Jonathan—Heck, at this rate she’ll pine away…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 05 17 at 01:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. She’s been busy looking for the wood, and not seeing the tree.

      #120 – it was linked by a poster on Bolt’s blog about a week ago, but finding it again is not easy.  I thought Iain Hall had it linked as well – but no show.

      It was based on a review of South Australia’s recorded temperatures for the last 100 years.

      Here seems to be a link which cuts and pastes the article:

      link

      I cannot find the source though.

      cheers

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 17 at 02:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. 2012 was the year that the Mayan civilisation foresaw as the end of the the world,………..dont tell me theyre getting their science from a bunch of frustrated stone age wannabe heart surgeons.

      too bad they never foresaw the Conquistadors or Smallpox coming…lol

      the exact Mayan date is Dec 21, 2012…………im waiting for Goracle to pull that date out of his arse next.

      burn coal and feed the trees.

      Posted by bailador on 2007 05 17 at 02:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. #120 found it!

      google imf

      Seems a bit scatty though, and just his opinion.  Certainly not a peer reviewed paper.

      Posted by peter m on 2007 05 17 at 02:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. I was engaged to a sapling for a while, but we had to break it off.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2007 05 17 at 02:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. I have been lumbered with the job of working faggot and twig into these wooden puns. It’s hard graft I can assure you.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 05 17 at 02:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #155

      Maybe you weren’t cuticle enough or had too many cones.
      I shan’t branch out to jokes about you being a rotten root or her being an obvious barker with a rotten fork.

      Apart from that I’ll leaf it alone, lest someone twig to the fact that I am out of my tree.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 17 at 03:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. Apologies for that last rot #155. I didn’t mena to white ant you.
      I am sure that if such a thing happened to me my heartwood be broken.

      I should have sawn it before and put a brake on the chain.

      I hope my cut did not make you cross.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 17 at 03:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Although it goes against the grain for me to complain, I fear this thread is being lumbered.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 05 17 at 03:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. If our host picked up a prickle in his foot while out bushwalking naked, would it be in fact a tim burr?

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 17 at 05:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. argh, not the wooden jokes again. 😉

      Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 05 17 at 05:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. I wooden call them jokes.

      Puns. They’re puns.

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 17 at 05:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. arrgh, the pain, the pain.  😛

      Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 05 17 at 05:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. perhaps that should be the “the plane, the plane”, but its all getting a bit arbor-ing.

      Posted by darrinhV2 on 2007 05 17 at 05:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Who’s trying to kauri favour? You’ll be pining a long time!

      Posted by kae on 2007 05 17 at 06:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. #167 Ouch, Habib. You could have said barefoot, he was out barefoot. Some of us are eating, you know.

      It’s about time Tim gives this thread the chop; it’s borne plenty of fruit. Everyone leaves, and we branch out to plant our ideas in fresh soil. Wood you agree with me, or is there life in her yet?

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 05 17 at 07:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. #173 No, let’s log off.

      Posted by arrowhead ripper on 2007 05 17 at 07:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think this thread’s starting to gum up, and most contributors seem to be saps. The whole thing’s going to seed, and they should twig that it’s paling into insignificance. They need to cotton on to something else, maybe try nibbling a chip, bored as the rest of us are with these limp gags; I couldn’t give a fig if they dried up and I’d rather listen to a drunk German tooting a tuber.

      BTW- would you describe a genetically engineered plant that sprouts padded ski jackets instead of seed pods as a parka tree? Or when you drop a dart on the end of your foot, is this a missile toe?

      BTW as well- what would a screw at Yatala say to Mahommad Daewoo if he found him wandering around the exercise yard?

      “Back to your cell, you louse.”

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 17 at 07:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. …and leaves

      Posted by PeterTB on 2007 05 17 at 08:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. At the Home For The Hideously Deformed, a young chap who was born with an empty eye socket which was filled with a timber prosthetic (glass eyes having been removed from the PBS by the heartless Howard government so tax cuts could be given to the CEO of MacQuarie Bank; subsequently the valiant but chronically fund-starved public health system had to resort to using cheap particleboard items from China), took a shine to a fellow resident, a young lady whose mouth was vertical in her face rather than horizontal. He mooned about her for weeks, then finally gathered the courage to ask her out to a darkened theatre during a power outage, so they wouldn’t be mocked by the rich, good looking capitalist exploiters outside the home:-

      “How’d you like to go out with me this Friday? Due to global warming the power’s going off, so no-one can see how horribly disfigured we are.”

      The lady in question had shared admiration for our hero, and eagerly replied “Geez, wouldn’ I!”

      He immediately replied “Well fuck you too, twat face.”

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 17 at 08:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. 2012 being the year that colonization starts (in X Files fandom that is)

      Hey, I was stunned when the moon was still there at the end of 1999.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 05 17 at 08:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. #177: That is a grossly insensitive joke. Er, do you know any more?

      Posted by paco on 2007 05 17 at 09:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. #179

      Are you intimating that he could be barking up the wrong tree?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 05 17 at 11:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. last evening I logged off, went home, had a scrub and slept like a log.

      All the while people continued to knock bark of the unfortunate one who fell for a tree.

      Oh well, life really is like a box of chocolates.

      Posted by Pickles on 2007 05 17 at 06:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is enough to make a man go crazy- it’s all about the poor; poor not through their own fault, but the ravages of capitalism, who steals the fruit of their labour. It’s really the final straw, bury the running dogs in protest! Sound off like you’ve got a pear! If enough of us stand up, the system’ll be cactus! Border protection is mush- room enough in this country for all! Plant the seed of dissent today!

      Posted by Habib on 2007 05 17 at 07:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. “These are invitees to a wedding where the groom is a banyan tree and the bride a peepal tree.”

      Jees, that’s only one step away from cats and dogs living together…  and then it’s Armageddon!

      Posted by ekb87 on 2007 05 18 at 03:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. I guess that’s it!  Its the end.

      Anyone want to fet laid?

      Posted by Lonetown on 2007 05 18 at 10:30 PM • permalink

 

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