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Last updated on June 6th, 2017 at 08:18 am

Welcome to 2005. From my futuristic Australian vantage point, I can exclusively reveal that 2005 is very similar to 2004; except, of course, for all the hover bikes.

And the Sha’ria law. Where the hell did that come from?

Anyways, as James Taranto predicted, the Angry Left is all but invisible in this bold new year:

Michael Moore is now making a documentary about insurance (it’ll be a blockbuster for sure). Former Enron adviser Paul Krugman has gone off to read an economics textbook. George Soros is nowhere to be found; for all we know he actually did join a monastery. And of course Susan Sontag has gone to the Great Cocktail Party Up in the Sky.

It’s hard to believe now how fearsome the Angry Left once seemed. This column never thought it was the stuff of a winning political campaign, but sometimes we felt as though our skepticism put us in the minority. We’re sure we’ll continue to hear from the Dowds and the Krugmans and maybe even the Moores and the Soroses; not even the fascist Bush regime can silence them. But the Angry Left will loom much smaller in 2005 than it has in many years.

Hey, it’s even better than that. Remember No Thappy John, the revolutionary web project cult leader Margo Kingston hoped would become an Australian Moveon.org? It still hasn’t posted a thing since November 11, 2004. The insane are in fierce retreat; watch things hasten mid-year once the conservatives gain control of the Senate.

Let’s greet 2005 with two hopeful quotes from last year, the first from academic intelligentsiac Robert Manne:

For the left-leaning political intelligentsia, 2004 was a peculiarly dispiriting year.

Get used to it, Bobby. And the second, from Margo herself:

Here’s hoping next year is better than 2004, which was worse than 2003.

Here’s hoping! Best wishes to all for the New Year.

UPDATE. Thanks to everybody for all the kind notes. Much of the traffic here is driven by the wit and fun supplied in comments; thanks again for all contributions.

Posted by Tim B. on 01/01/2005 at 03:21 AM
    1. NO THAPPY

      Posted by Josh on 2005 01 01 at 04:29 AM • permalink



      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 01 01 at 04:34 AM • permalink


    1. Hover bikes—so that was what that loud buzzing noise was. I thought it was a leaf blower.

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 2005 01 01 at 04:36 AM • permalink


    1. Best wishes to you and everyone here for a happy and prosperous new year.

      Posted by Donnah on 2005 01 01 at 04:53 AM • permalink


    1. And to you, Tim, and thanks for the bestest dang blog around.

      Posted by BruceW on 2005 01 01 at 05:05 AM • permalink


    1. It’ll be a happy new year for everyone except those who refuse to be happy.  Fie on them!

      Posted by blerp on 2005 01 01 at 05:23 AM • permalink


    1. Right after the election a friend with whom I had traded email flotsam expressing our political points of view stepped up the volume with way more whiny, moving-to-Canada crap than I could handle.  I finally silenced him by threatening to end our friendship entirely if he didn’t stop filling my email box with tears; I simply did not intend to listen to four years of such stuff.  Surprisingly, after a week or so of being offended, we got back on to talking about other things and get along swimmingly now.  All proof that the only tack to take with such folks is, well, Move On.  Actually, Move On or I’ll Smack You, but close enough.

      Posted by Mike G on 2005 01 01 at 05:30 AM • permalink


    1. Happy New Year, Tim, and thanks for the ‘blog and all the good commentary.

      Posted by Baby M on 2005 01 01 at 05:47 AM • permalink


    1. Happy New Year to Tim, Andrea and all the others who make this such a very interesting blog. It’s certainly been one of the strangest years I can remember and it’s been great sharing it with all the posters here.

      We won’t be ushering in the New Year here (East Coast US) for another 11 hours. I hope the major US celebrations include a moment of silence for the tsunami victims as did those in Australia.

      Posted by CJosephson on 2005 01 01 at 06:14 AM • permalink


    1. Happy New Year Tim, thanks for running such a great site.

      Posted by Matt in Denver on 2005 01 01 at 06:18 AM • permalink


    1. Tim, you do the greatest kind of work: You make people laugh. Happy, happy new year.

      Posted by Aaron – Free Will on 2005 01 01 at 06:20 AM • permalink


    1. Here’s hoping next year is better than 2004, which was worse than 2003.

      which was worse than 2002, which was worse than 2001, which was worse than 2000…ahhh, to hell with it!

      /lefty moping.

      Happy New Year to all!  {:^ )


      Posted by Thomas on 2005 01 01 at 06:24 AM • permalink


    1. Upbeat motto for the left : Each Year Is Better than the Next.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2005 01 01 at 06:55 AM • permalink


    1. 10 hours to go …
      Happy New Year Tim, Andrea and you others.

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2005 01 01 at 06:59 AM • permalink


    1. Margo was right. 2003 saw the crushing of a murderous dictatorship. 2004 didn’t. 2004 sucked on that one. Let’s hope for a better 2005, with many crushed dictatorships.

      Posted by Ken Summers on 2005 01 01 at 07:28 AM • permalink


    1. Happy New Year to all.  I gave what I could for the tsunami victims, and lit a few candles with prayers, and tonight I will lift a glass of pinot noir in hopes of good things in 2005.  Thanks, Tim, for the site.  It’s got me laughing and lifted my spirits more than once.  Thanks, Andrea, for wielding the mighty cluebat and keeping everybody in line.


      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 01 01 at 08:33 AM • permalink


    1. By the way.  Those aren’t hover bikes.  They’re… they’re… cripes!  They’re MOSQUITOS!!

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 01 01 at 08:34 AM • permalink


    1. Tim- thanks for fighting the good fight.  It is always a pleasure to read you offerings.  Happy New Year to you, your family, and all kindred souls.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 01 01 at 10:07 AM • permalink


    1. God, I just LOVE my hover bike.

      Happy New Year Tim, Andrea and all non-troll/moonbat members

      Posted by jlc on 2005 01 01 at 10:15 AM • permalink


    1. Happy New Year Everyone!

      Posted by Quentin George on 2005 01 01 at 10:20 AM • permalink


    1. Tim
      yours is the wittiest blog on the Internet!
      Oscar Wilde would have been proud of you!

      Posted by davo on 2005 01 01 at 01:41 PM • permalink


    1. I’ve already crashed my hoverbike. Damn those hovervolvo drivers!

      Thappy new year!

      Posted by Evil Pundit on 2005 01 01 at 02:35 PM • permalink


    1. All over the world, people are giving as much, or more, as their governments to the tsunami victims. And I’ve no doubt, will continue to do so. So where’s this world of inherently bad people needing tyrants and socialist dictatorships to keep them in check? There’s a lot more goodies than baddies out there, and many drop by here. Happy New Year everyone!

      Posted by slatts on 2005 01 01 at 02:39 PM • permalink


    1. Enjoy the New Year, Tim and Andrea!

      Posted by Sortelli on 2005 01 01 at 04:34 PM • permalink


    1. You say you want Hoverbikes?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 01 01 at 04:42 PM • permalink


    1. tim i’m getting married next year. can you see yet if it works out?

      Posted by smithleveldevil on 2005 01 01 at 05:06 PM • permalink


    1. Well, it’s still 2004 here.  So, I need to wait another hour and 15 minutes before your post makes any sense.  If then.

      Happy New Year!

      Posted by JayC on 2005 01 01 at 06:48 PM • permalink


    1. Hey, Sortelli! Where you been, you AWOL Zonie??

      Posted by tim on 2005 01 01 at 09:03 PM • permalink


    1. Being missed is certainly the greatest way to start out 2005.  Thanks, Tim! 🙂

      A truthful answer as to where I have been would be embarassing, though, so I will … uh … trail off here …

      Posted by Sortelli on 2005 01 02 at 03:19 AM • permalink


    1. Oh, now we really want to know. <evil grin>

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 2005 01 02 at 04:29 AM • permalink


    1. ‘Fess up, Zonie! Don’t make me contact the Flagstaff militia!

      Posted by tim on 2005 01 02 at 04:57 AM • permalink


    1. I already miss the good old days of 2004 when we didn’t have packs of hover bike riding hooligans acting like they own the highways and scaring the wildlife.  No Thappy Tim.

      Posted by Randal Robinson on 2005 01 02 at 06:30 AM • permalink


    1. Okay, okay… ever since the un-redefeatedness of Dubya, me and my Texan sweetheart have spent all of our internet time playing City of Heroes and gloating loudly across the house to each other and the cats.  And now my geeky lameness is bared for the world to see.

      But if the Angry Left should threaten the world again my new internet superhero skills will surely come in handy!

      Posted by Sortelli on 2005 01 02 at 07:11 AM • permalink


    1. Hmm, does that mean you’ll have a guest cameo in Elf Only Inn someday (if you decide to continue it)? They could use a take-charge type in there. 🙂

      Posted by PW on 2005 01 02 at 01:23 PM • permalink


  1. I dunno, last time I put myself in the comic I was naked.

    That fershluggner Heroes game is why I’m not drawing right now too. X_X

    Posted by Sortelli on 2005 01 03 at 03:03 PM • permalink