WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS

Mike Carlton uncovers the Giant Texan Conspiracy that delayed the return of Private Jake Kovko’s body:

The blunder is probably the fault of the American contractor hired to transport the casket from Kuwait to Australia, a firm named Kenyon International.

Here the plot thickens. Kenyon’s parent company, Service Corporation International (SCI), boasts that it is “the dominant leader in the North American death care industry”. It is based in Houston, Texas. You will not be surprised, therefore, to hear that SCI’s billionaire founder, one Robert Waltrip, is an old buddy of the Bush family and a big-money donor to the two Georges.

Back in 1999, when George jnr was beginning his run for the White House, SCI was embroiled in a grisly scandal known as Funeralgate. A whistleblower accused the company of “recycling” graves. Old corpses had been removed and replaced by new ones. At two Jewish cemeteries in Florida, bodies were exhumed and dumped in the woods to be eaten by wild hogs.

I am not making this up. The scandal ran through the Texas courts, reaching all the way to, yep, Governor George W. Bush. There were uncomfortable questions about the donations he had accepted from SCI.

Happily, the whistleblower was paid off and everything smoothed over in time for Dubya to win the Republican presidential nomination. SCI later paid compensation of $US100 million to its victims’ relatives.

And who fixed this? Why, none other than Harry Whittington, the Texas lawyer shot by Deadeye Dick Cheney on that famous hunting trip in February.

Don’t stop there, Mike. Two more paragraphs and you’ll have proof that the Bush twins detonated the World Trade Center.

(Via Alan D.)

Posted by Tim B. on 04/30/2006 at 08:51 PM
    1. Here’s a Timeline , keeping in mind that the source is Salon…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 04 30 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. One of my proudest days (so… I live an unexciting life!) was being called a “MINDLESS DRONE” for believing that Al Qaeda was behind 9/11.

      Posted by Cheesie on 2006 04 30 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Reflecting, I’m very proud of Mr. Carlton for managing to work Jews into the whole thing, even if here they get to be the victim for a change.

      Although I’m sure it wouldn’t take too much imagination for some twit to come up with a theory with it all being a Jewish plot to make SCI look bad in revenge for Funeralgate.

      Posted by Cheesie on 2006 04 30 at 09:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ll bet it was George Bush himself who was behind it, to deflect attention from AWB for his old buddy John Howard – the same John Howard in the US on 11 September, the same John Howard’s whose son worked on the Bush reelection campaign.

      It all fits…

      Posted by Ian Deans on 2006 04 30 at 09:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Cheesie

      One of my proudest days (so… I live an unexciting life!) was being called a “MINDLESS DRONE” for believing that Al Qaeda was behind 9/11.

      The are some very popular internet forums where you still would…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 30 at 09:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. On 27th April I submitted a little post on this that included, “GWB has escaped the blame for this one, it looks like falling on JWH, who apart from being the PM of Aust, is also directly responsible for every cut, bruise, STD, wound or death of any serviceman serving in Aust or overseas.”

      Silly me. Wrong again, GWB was to blame after all.

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2006 04 30 at 09:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Cheesie

      believing that Al Qaeda was behind 9/11

      It was? Here I thought all along that it was premature detonation…:).

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 30 at 09:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh my……Gawwwwd!  I knew it, I knew it, I knew it:  Dubya’s behind it all.  Thankyou, Mike, thankyou.  Goodnight.

      Posted by pick-your-pun on 2006 04 30 at 09:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. No, it was Hamburgler who did it!

      p.s. It would have been nice to hear the media report the Solomon’s as Race Riots, and corruption.

      Posted by 1.618 on 2006 04 30 at 09:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. You’ll be interested to know that in 2002, a Georgia crematory owner was arrested for dumping corpses in the woods behind his crematory because the furnace was broken.  Here’s the juicy part:  SCI owned several of the funeral homes that used that crematory service.

      I believe it’s a vast conspiracy by Chimpy McDeath Halliburner & Co. to prevent the nasty dead from being buried in (or scattered over) pure Mother Gaia.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 30 at 09:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. Of course, prevention of such would be environmentally green, wouldn’t it, since mere bodies are biodegradeable.  Never mind.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 04 30 at 09:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s all kind of like a weird twist on evolution: eventually, Bush will be posited as the common parent of all the world’s evil.

      Posted by paco on 2006 04 30 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Of course, prevention of such would be environmentally green, wouldn’t it, since mere bodies are biodegradeable.  Never mind.

      Ummmmm, thank you RebeccaH. Anyone up for nachos, pizza or anything?…lol.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 04 30 at 09:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. Although I’m sure it wouldn’t take too much imagination for some twit to come up with a theory with it all being a Jewish plot to make SCI look bad in revenge for Funeralgate.

      No no… The Jews were responsible for the corpses being eaten by pigs as well! This was deliberately done with the Jews employing an obviously non-Kosher animal so as to create an alibi and avert suspicion from the covert activities of this insidious group… [/moonbat]

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2006 04 30 at 09:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. OT: Professor Bunyip’s back on the air.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 04 30 at 09:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. There was a Bush on the grassy knoll.

      Posted by lingus4 on 2006 04 30 at 09:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. If Mike Carlton is seeking a good conspiracy story I would like to tell him about the unabashedly left-wing Sydney Fairfax columnist who is always telling us how ridiculous it is that ABC are portrayed as left-wing – without telling his readership that he is married to an ABC current affairs producer.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 04 30 at 10:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Lingus4,

      and just where was Kennedy shot? Texas! Bush was Governor of Texas, it fits!

      Posted by Nic on 2006 04 30 at 10:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. At two Jewish cemeteries in Florida, bodies were exhumed and dumped in the woods to be eaten by wild hogs.

      Jews eaten by pigs. Savage irony.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 04 30 at 10:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #16 lingus4

      There was a Bush on the grassy knoll.

      You might be joking, but there are many many others who are definitely not laughing.

      I’m sure there’s a corollary to Blair’s Law in there somewhere…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 04 30 at 10:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. # MM. Married??? How pathetically bourgeois for such a dedicated lefty spear carrier.Sad how when geriatrics get their hands on a bit of young stuff(relatively speaking)the only way they can think of to hang onto to it is to marry it.

      Posted by Lew on 2006 04 30 at 10:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. The need for complicated (not to mention convoluted!) conspiracies when a simple explanation will do is becoming pandemic.  Mike Carlton demonstrates this.  The moonbat theories around 9/11 are a classic example. Spiny’s Google search in #20 is further evidence that it’s nearly a serious problem.

      We joke about this obsession in its many forms.  Hell, I’ve joked about it!  But some people are dead serious.  Others are making money off this illness.  Is our world so safe and comfortable that people have to develop what amounts to an obsession with conspiracies (if not a mental illness of some sort) to deal with it?  Or is it some sort of coping mechanism to deal with the evil forces that are truly arraying themselves against our civilization?

      Whatever.  The bottom line seems to be that chaos seems more important than order, exactly the opposite of what people claim they want.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 04 30 at 11:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Formaldegate, after following the scent (pardon), has more “Wheels within Wheels” than even Mike Carlton’s piece would suggest.

      Read the full Salon story (thanks, Mr. Mcenroe)

      The entire tale (ok, there were unlicensed embalmer’s apprentices, and USD $445k fine is being contested) is a fascinating look into the inner workings of the Texas State Democratic Party, the uncanny acumen of professional whistleblower defence attorney(s), etc.

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2006 04 30 at 11:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Carlton is great at these long bow drawings.

      Kenyon is only a subsidiary. Subsidiary is not like saying you are the the same company. He then moves back to the founder of the parent. I assume then that this founder no longer has an active role in the parent of Kenyon as he would have said chairman or ceo.

      Wow the founder donated to Bush. How unusual that a major texas billionaire would know the Bush family and support them. Of course for all we know, like many wealthy people and companies, they might donate to a variety of candidates.

      And the scandal only touched bush in as far as he’d received some donations. So now receiving donations means you are tainted by the conduct of everyone who donates to you.

      And the whistleblower paid off, sounds like they got caught and paid huge compensation. Not quite like paying someone to make it all go away.

      This is like playing six degress of kevin bacon. You could play this game with pretty much any major figure.

      What is Carlton’s point. Does he really get paid for this stuff?

      Posted by Francis H on 2006 04 30 at 11:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. I read the Salon “Timeline.”
      This that game, Six Degrees of Separation, isn’t it?  Only with Bush in place of Kevin Bacon.

      Am I the only one who thinks that someone sticking their head out the door and yelling something like “Hey, Bobby, are you still having problems….” does not constitute a “substantive discussion” of anything?  That is their smoking gun that proves Bush is involved in a cover-up?

      I agree that too many people seem to prefer a conspiracy theory to the truth.  Perhaps people have come to think of reality as some kind of movie where they can continuously upgrade the story to one they like better.  Obviously, none of them have heard of Occam’s Razor.

      Posted by saltydog on 2006 04 30 at 11:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. # 22 T_R_Jeffs, I agree. All this conspiracy stuff is now way beyond a joke. This has happened before. The mental atmosphere is similar to what it was in the thirties. Things that only 20 years ago were beyond the outer limits, only whispered between consenting lunatics in private, are now knocking on the door of the mainstream. Reading what they are prepared to write for public consumption, you can only imagine what they are saying among themselves in private. I choose not.

      Question is what do we do about it? To ignore it is risky. To respond to it rationally is perhaps dangerous because it gives exposure and status to something which afterall is not at all rational. Probably also futile because conspiracy theories, by their nature, are immune from rational criticism. They simply absorb the criticism and it becomes a part of the theory. These things are as immutable and material as a cloud on a windy day.

      The phenenomen itself needs analysis and as you have suggested that is in part in the field of morbid psychological behaviour especially crowd hysteria. In the meantime parody and ridicule are probably as good weapons as any. Ant other suggestions?

      Posted by geoff on 2006 05 01 at 12:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. They’ve gone beyond being sad parodies of themselves. Maybe I should corner the market on butterfly nets.

      Posted by CraigC on 2006 05 01 at 12:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. No suggestions, geoff, just an attempt to inject rationality into the maintstream.

      CraigC, may I suggest straight jackets as well?  Might be a fortune to be made there.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 01 at 01:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry, The_Real_Jeffs

      I didn’t intend to direct that at you. It was a general appeal for ideas.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 05 01 at 02:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. And the Reverse Vampires and UFOs are trying to eliminate the meal of dinner.

      We’re through the looking glass here people.

      Posted by The (WHMECDM) President on 2006 05 01 at 02:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Eh, geoff, I’m blogging way past bed time, never mind me……zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 05 01 at 02:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #26 The mental atmosphere is similar to what it was in the thirties.

      How so, Geoff? I think I know what you’re getting at but I’d be interested to have you expand on the point.

      —Nick

      Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2006 05 01 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #32—Nick

      Hmmm. I will attempt an answer later tonight.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 05 01 at 04:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mike Carlton is a Nimitz-class Howard/Bush/Blair Hater.  Has his column next to Alan Ramsay’s and both are quite rabid and irrational in their unabridged hate for Howard and Bush.

      Mikey however is a strange spear carrier for the Left.  Lives in a very pricey suburb (Whale Beach) and lives a totally bourgeois lifestyle.

      More power to him!  But the hypocrisy is breathtaking.

      Posted by Stop Continental Drift! on 2006 05 01 at 06:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ya know, the left REALLY doesn’t want to start playing silly buggers with conspiracy theories centered around the handling of bodies. Ya see, Blanco in Louisiana hired SCI after Katrina. That story tries to blame Bush for SCI’s involvement in Louisiana, but it was Blanco that cut the deal.

      I especially like the attempt to tie the whole thing to the Georgia crematorium fraud. Um, sure, SCI-affiliated funeral homes sent bodies to that place. Lots of funeral homes did; the guy was running a fraud and LOTS of people were caught up in it. Might want to look a the politicians who kept licensing him…

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2006 05 01 at 07:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. How does this cretin constantly get away with this kind of outrageous bigotry???
      Funny that certain kinds of bigotry get you labelled a “shock-jock” and other kinds don’t!

      Posted by Brian on 2006 05 01 at 08:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. At least now we know why Deadeye Dick tried to clip Harry Whittington.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 01 at 09:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m sorry, I don’t understand this “conspiracy” in regards to Kovko.

      Just what was the reason Bush didn’t want the body returned?

      Posted by RK on 2006 05 01 at 10:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ahhhh! I just spent well over an hour writing a reply to Nick’s question only to see it disappear into the ether when I pressed the Submit button.

      That’s it. I’m too upset to speak anymore. I hate everything.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 05 01 at 12:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dear Geoff, I feel your pain. Experience has taught me to do an “edit/copy” before I hit “submit”.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2006 05 01 at 12:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ve calmed down now. I blame Bush.

      Posted by geoff on 2006 05 01 at 07:04 PM • permalink

 

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