TREADMILL EICHMANNS

Michael Moore’s Florida fat farm flensing is underway:

I am humbly dedicating my stay here to Cindy and Casey, and I vow to emerge a slimmer, stronger, more attractive agitator for Truth. See you in a week!

Sadly, a Bush-linked Cuban conspiracy now threatens Moore’s UnSuperSize Me program. Iowahawk has the full story.

Posted by Tim B. on 08/24/2005 at 02:21 AM
    1. In some countries they don’t have a fat problem. Cuba is one of them. Also North Korea. Parts of Sudan. And others run by loonies, like Mugabe.
      But Venezuela is going to share some of its blubber .. no, oil, with Cuba. So then they can make lovely Internationale music together!
      Enough to make a preacher spit? You bet. But when Pat Robertson mentions Chavez and Take Out in the same breath he is not talking food.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 08 24 at 06:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. ‘stronger, more attractive agitator’

      He’s turned himself into a Westinghouse?

      Oh well, he’ll still be big, white and heavy on the spinning, though its some improvement.

      Posted by Nic on 2005 08 24 at 07:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. Shades of hrh prince charles,who also saw himself as a slimmer,stronger,agitating module in tapped telephone conversations with the duchess.

      Posted by crash on 2005 08 24 at 08:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. Talking about fat farms – Mark Lathams’s man boobs have been added to the dictionary:Mark Latham shows his ‘man boobs’

      Posted by Melanie on 2005 08 24 at 08:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. ”…like a bad cariacture of Curtis LeMay…”
      Iowahawk is genius.

      Posted by bc on 2005 08 24 at 08:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. So the big fat blimp is going to emerge slimmer, stronger and more attractive in a week!!  More like a century….and that’s only if they cut off his arms and staple a Hannibal Lector mask to his moon-like head.

      Posted by TonyD on 2005 08 24 at 08:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bulk almond bark is what did me in. A classic!

      Posted by spongeworthy on 2005 08 24 at 09:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. He’ll be able to team up with Oprah due to their shared experiences.  What joy the future brings.

      Posted by Melanie on 2005 08 24 at 09:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t Red kerry tonight found himself conscripted into happy mode when he interviewed mild mannered Alexander McCall-Smith-popular author and reluctant raconteur.
      Despite kerry’s desperate attempts to drag him into the downward spiral/vortex of misery- he came up trumps,saying he would rather concentrate on the dignity,humour and courage of the African people than on (admittedly) shocking Aids numbers etc.

      Posted by crash on 2005 08 24 at 09:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t starring at our sandstone universities,coming soon apparently says the ad.
      VIRGINIA LAFOND.  there’s a familiar name,these Lafonds get around.Would she be related to the Lafond husband of alleged so called french separatist governor general elect of Canada?
      ad runs “Working with the grief of mental illness.- Its untapped promise.”
      Canadian social worker,mental health practitioner and author of the acclaimed
      book,etc Virginia combines the wisdom of her own experience of psychiatric illness rehabilitation with lessons learned from her professional work and study….

      Posted by crash on 2005 08 24 at 09:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t today’s oz
      In Iran a boy can be executed from age 13 and a girl from the age of 9.

      Posted by crash on 2005 08 24 at 10:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. I can see it coming: Moore will go over the wall at the fat farm and become the first person to float an amphibious 1947 Buick Roadmaster back to Cuba, where he will heave himself upon the tropical sands, begging piteously for a plate of arroz con pollo.

      Posted by paco on 2005 08 24 at 10:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. I defy you to hold this up to any of Moore’s writings and tell the difference.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 08 24 at 10:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. #11 that’s because girls are intrinsically evil of course – the wise men in frocks declare it so

      it’s poor benighted children suffering under islamic fundamentalism that St Cindy’s followers should be thinking of

      Posted by KK on 2005 08 24 at 10:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, he’s gone there to lose weight!

      I thought—never mind.

      Posted by david on 2005 08 24 at 10:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Twinkie Terminator is obviously getting in shape for his desperate swim to Cuba to escape Herr Chimpler’s digital brown shirts. How dare you deride the Candycorn Compactor’s Freedom Ride Swim!

      Posted by tongueboy on 2005 08 24 at 11:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t Lib stalwart Ron Walker poised to take over Fairfax Holdings?- source OZ.

      Posted by crash on 2005 08 24 at 11:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. #16 tongueboy

      Make that a Freedom Float-with two scoops-two scoops of ice cream.

      Sincerely,

      The soon to be “more attractive”

      Michael “No Moose No More” Moore

      Posted by madawaskan on 2005 08 24 at 11:38 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ahhh, flensing.  If only.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 08 24 at 11:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. Or Freedom Cruise, Madawaskan, with the Twinkies and ice cream berthed in the heli-ginormous hold.

      Posted by tongueboy on 2005 08 24 at 12:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey, you can do some good Groundskeeper Willie riffs with tongueboy’s Michael Moore descriptors:

      “Ye burrito-shovelin’ mallomar magnet!”

      “Ye twinkie-terminatin’ pie hoover!”

      Let me try one – “Ye lard-gobblin’ puddin’ dumpster!”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 08 24 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Anybody here remember those Judy Blume books of your youth. I haven’t heard the term flensing since I read the book “Blubber” in the 4th grade. The mean girls dress up as flensers for a Halloween party to harrass the fat girl they have dubbbed Blubber. Much soul searching follows. However I’ve always remembered a little chant from those girls in the book… “Oh what a riot! Blubber’s on a diet!” Help! This started out as a funny memory, and now I’m feeling like a mean girl making fun of the fat kid.

      Posted by wenwen on 2005 08 24 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. God, Iowahawk is funny.

      Posted by Butch on 2005 08 24 at 04:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. ” … and wong finking wi’ be punish by frencing .. frencing? Who wote dis speech?”
      (KIM JONG IL)

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 08 24 at 05:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yuck, flensing – I know that word, cutting up the whale…

      Didn’t need to see the picture.

      Wonder if the Japanese will be taking samples?

      Posted by kae on 2005 08 24 at 06:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. He’s dedicating this to Casey?

      The Army Specialist who re-enlisted after we invaded Iraq?  Who, accordingly, volunteered to participate in an “illegal and immoral” war against those Cindy Sheehan calls “freedom fighters” and Michael Moore calls “minutemen”?  Does this make any sense?

      Oh, wait, what am I saying?  Michael Moore is an anti-war leftist.  He’s not allowed to make sense.

      Posted by Warmongering Lunatic on 2005 08 24 at 07:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Watch out for the new environmental threat: Globular Whelming™.

      Just pray people!
      Pray to God he doesn’t trip whilst frolicking in the surf during the next camp beach outing…Thus inundating the entire Atlantic Basin.

      It’d be “The Splat heard ‘round the world”.

      Insurance rates are no doubt skyrocketing at this very moment due to this latest actuarial nightmare.

      Note to self: Accelerate stilt raising schedule for house.

      Posted by monkeyfan on 2005 08 24 at 08:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dave S.

      Awh gawd too funny.

      Let me try one-

      Pie pounding-oops! have you seen the movie-nevermind..
      Ye elcair-sucking, Donut-Diver.

      Posted by madawaskan on 2005 08 24 at 08:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ye haggis-humpin’ Krispy Kreemer.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 08 24 at 08:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pirate-onics version.

      Avast!
      Ye butter-swillin’ turd merchant!

      Posted by monkeyfan on 2005 08 24 at 09:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #26 Warmongering,
      Moore’s allowed to make sense, he just doesn’t bother doing so.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 08 24 at 09:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. …Unhand that golden twinkie or Queequeg here’ll flense scrimshaw its likeness on yer portmost stern cheek(s)!

      Posted by monkeyfan on 2005 08 24 at 09:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. Moore chins than a chinese phone directory
      Salad dodging jelly arsed jihadihttp://www.telescreen.org/puddinparty/index17.html
      A few of these should finish him off.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2005 08 24 at 09:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Moore is dedicating his stay at a fat farm as one would dedicate a book?

      I don’t get it. At all.

      Posted by dee on 2005 08 24 at 10:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. “The first rule of Fat Club is, you don’t talk about Fat Club”

      “The second rule about Fat Club is, you don’t talk about Fat Club”

      Posted by joe bagadonuts on 2005 08 25 at 09:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. Moore is dedicating his stay at a fat farm as one would dedicate a book?

      dee, that quote was from Iowahawk’s spoof.

      Posted by PW on 2005 08 25 at 12:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. BREAKING NEWS:

      CNN has confirmed reports that the poundage being liposuctioned off of Michael Moore during his stay at the Pritken Center will be recycled as biomass for fueling Jane Fonda’s March 2006 peace bus tour.

      It is hoped this will give Jane’s bus Moore miles to the gallon………

      Posted by Rob C. on 2005 08 25 at 06:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh the pity of it! 
      Picture little ‘Oliver’ Moore standing in the gruel line in just a week’s time: 
      ‘Pleease Sir, I want some Moore!’He missed a big chance at synchronicity by not joining Jane Fonda doing her Intellectual Slimming routine across the country.

      Posted by Barrie on 2005 08 25 at 10:17 PM • permalink

 

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