TERROR BIRD BELIEVED EXECUTED

The jihad rooster that yesterday attacked a four-year-old girl—causing serious injuries, by the way; she’s been airlifted to hospital with a collapsed lung—has been smashed, according to the girl’s uncle:

“I don’t think the rooster’s alive. Knowing my brother, he would’ve smashed it.”

In other Australian animal news, a crocodile has been stolen and traded for drugs:

“The original plan was to steal a koala – that’s what they were going to use to swap [for] the drugs,” [zookeeper Wil] Kemp said.

“[But] apparently [the koala] scratched the shit out of them.”

The thieves then decided to take a crocodile instead.

“I don’t know what makes someone go, ‘Oh we tried to steal a koala and that didn’t work so lets go and steal a croc.’”

UPDATE. Why can’t roosters be more like horses?

Posted by Tim B. on 03/29/2006 at 12:08 AM
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