STREISAND DECIDES

STOP PRESS. Hillary Clinton has won the endorsement of Barbra Streisand. Repeat: Hillary Clinton has won the crucial Streisand endorsement:

‘’Hillary is a powerful voice for change as we find our country at an important crossroads. Under her leadership, our country will regain its respect within the global community. She will prioritize issues of global climate change, universal health care and rebuilding a strong economy. After eight long years, the public will once again have faith in their government,’’ said Streisand, a longtime supporter of Democratic candidates.

We now cross to CNN’s Wolf Blitzer and Jack Cafferty for further analysis:

CAFFERTY: Give me a hand with something. What exactly does the Streisand endorsement represent?

BLITZER: It means that Barbara Streisand, great singer, is supporting Hillary Clinton.

CAFFERTY: Reclusive, neurotic, over-the-hill vocalist endorses Hillary. I mean, is the ground supposed to shake now, and lightning bolts fly out of the sky. Who cares!?

BLITZER: She’s got a lot of fans out there, Jack.

CAFFERTY: Oh, come on!

Posted by Tim B. on 11/27/2007 at 09:42 PM
    1. lmao.. surprise surprise.. a moonbat for shrillary

      Posted by missred on 2007 11 27 at 09:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ll notify the media.

      Oh, wait…

      Posted by mojo on 2007 11 27 at 09:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. I will see your Streisand and raise you an Oprah.
      ~ Barack Hussein Obama

      Posted by Latino on 2007 11 27 at 09:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Snicker. It’s about as important as getting endorsement from Cate Blanchett.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 27 at 09:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. #4 oh tis better.. the great and powerful (an wacko) streisand..
      crosseyed bint

      Posted by missred on 2007 11 27 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. lmao latino

      Posted by missred on 2007 11 27 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #5 She’s only cross eyed because she keeps on looking at her nose and trying to figure out if it’s really as big as people say it is.

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 27 at 09:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yes, but who will get the crucial Affleck/Clooney seal of approval?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 27 at 09:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Possibly only bested by a seance endorsement through Shirly Maclaine.  This is a real achievement for the Hill Monster.  Obviously she has locked away the psychotic over the hill piss poor vocalist vote, now she can concentrate on getting the nascar watching environmentalists for Hulk Hogan demographic.  After picking up Striesand, that should be a cinch.

      Posted by Todd on 2007 11 27 at 10:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Backed by a Jew. That won’t play well.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 11 27 at 10:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. #7 too true.. with a nose like that i think i would be crosseyed too
      thank god for my genes

      Posted by missred on 2007 11 27 at 10:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. What is it with these current elections?
      All warm and squishy.#9
      In which life, this one or a previous one?

      Posted by kae on 2007 11 27 at 10:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Years are long? Who knew?

      Faith in government? I don’t care who’s in office, that’s not possible.

      Well, I might as well endorse Hillary, too. Because I know she’ll listen to her Secretary of Boobidlyboo Yogi Berra: “When you come to an important crossroads, take it.”

      Posted by GPE on 2007 11 27 at 10:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hillary won by a nose …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 27 at 10:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Barbra is (was?) a talented ballad singer and she made a bundle of money out of it. That’s great – she worked hard and deserves it. But why must people like this think that one quite narrow talent entitles them to spout off on any topic at all that happens to take their fancy? In Barbara’s case the only – and inevitable – result has been to cheapen her brand.

      Posted by walterplinge on 2007 11 27 at 10:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Babs has a nose for these things …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 11 27 at 10:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Can we all assume that James Brolin is also behind The Hill? Because that would make all the difference to me.

      O/T: Iowahawk has a great parody on the recent spate of Hollywood anti-war films.

      Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 11 27 at 10:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Great Scott, Tim, I thought you’d made that Cafferty/Blitzer dialogue up yourself. Cafferty actually said that?!

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2007 11 27 at 10:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ll second #17 Tommy’s OT. The title alone should get you over there: BoxBux Sux as Stix Hix Nix Xmas Flix

      Posted by Retread on 2007 11 27 at 10:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #9 – (really need to stop giggling at this) I’ve yet to see an Environmentalist who’s a NASCAR fan…though most race fans I know are fond of proper stewardship of such resources…I have doubts this demographic you speak of is terribly large. Then again, surely the Nose knows!

      What a maroon…

      Posted by KC on 2007 11 27 at 10:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. There must be literaly ONES of the KC.  All across the country and they will be heard.  I can tell that the Hill has them high in her list of important pressure groups to target.  Obviously she just needed to get over the huge hump of the Striesand endorsement so she can concentrate on this next important group.

      Kae, I think it was the one between Marie Antionette and the Prussian Bordello Cleaner.

      Posted by Todd on 2007 11 27 at 10:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. sorry Ones of THEM.  Damn laptop keyboard and sausage fingers.  Bloody Rudd wants to inflict this on all helpless kids in the future. The monster.  And who is going to pay for the RSI endemic to come in the future!!!

      Posted by Todd on 2007 11 27 at 10:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Babs endorsement is bigger than you think.  You not only get Babs but the Brolins-James and Josh-as well.  That’s a per capita lalapalooza.  A little more respect, please.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 11 27 at 11:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think what this means is that Bill’s going to be wearing some double-padlocked chastity overalls, backed up with a Brinks motion-detector underwear alarm system.

      Looks like solitary confinement for Mr. Happy.

      Posted by paco on 2007 11 27 at 11:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 paco

      I thought Mr. Happy was confined to quarters once before and that’s what the cigar was all about.

      Posted by Retread on 2007 11 27 at 11:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Come on, huh. Her nose isn’t that big.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 11 27 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #25 Retread: No, Mr. Happy was free on his own recognizance but got caught in the “kiss and go” lane.

      Posted by paco on 2007 11 27 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Imagine if That Woman wins the election. I know, it’s the stuff of nightmares, but be brave for a minute. Do you think she’ll make sure the interns are twenty-something males as a not so subtle pay-back to Bill?

      Posted by Retread on 2007 11 27 at 11:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wow.  Barbra Streisand.

      I know I always vote the way my entertainers vote.

      Not.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 11 27 at 11:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. CAFFERTY: What exactly does the Streisand endorsement represent?

      BLITZER: It means that Barbara Streisand, great singer, is supporting Hillary Clinton.

      See?  THAT is why I work for peanuts and Wolf Phreakin Blitzer is paid the BIG BUX.

      Posted by zeppenwolf on 2007 11 27 at 11:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. There’s no chill and yet I shiver
      There’s no flame and yet I burn
      I’m not sure what I’m afraid of
      And yet I’m trembling
      There’s no storm yet I hear thunder.
      And I’m breathless, why I wonder?
      Weak one moment,
      Then the next I’m fine.
      I feel as if 1’m falling every time
      I close my eyes
      And flowing through my body
      Is a river of surprise.
      Feelings are awakening
      I hardly’ recognize as mine!
      What are all these new sensations?
      What’s the secret they reveal?
      I’m not sure I understand
      But I like the way I feel.
      Oh, why is it that every time
      I close my eyes she’s there?
      The water shining on her skin,
      The sunlight in her hair?
      And all the while I’m thinking things
      That I can never share with her.
      I’m a bundle of confusion
      Yet it has a strange appeal.
      Did it all begin with her,
      And the way she makes me feel
      I like the way she makes me feel…Barbra can you hear me…?

      Posted by MentalFloss on 2007 11 28 at 12:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #32: Oh, ho! Jolly good, Mental Floss!

      Posted by paco on 2007 11 28 at 12:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. I like this guy’s thinking.

      Posted by paco on 2007 11 28 at 12:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. Speaking of celebrity endorsements, this from a buddy who saw Springsteen recently:

      The whole concert was moving and awesome. Bruce made his political agenda brief–thank God. The Detroit Free Press interviewed me and a buddy and each question was leading and was about Bruce and his “political statement.”

      I finally told the writer to shut the f@@k up and asked why he was trying to make a rock and roll concert into a political event—he had no answer and I took him down song by song as we looked at Springsteen’s new CD (there are a couple political tunes on it and I pointed them out). I told him I could live with what Bruce had to say because it was the greatness of America that allowed him to continue to have his freedom of speech—but I was most thankful it wasn’t a John Kerry rally. He didn’t use my quotes.

      No surprise on that last bit.

      Posted by Tommy Shanks on 2007 11 28 at 12:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Here y’go:

      Hilliary Julia is a powerful voice for change as we find our country at an important crossroads fork in the road. Under her leadership, our country will regain its respect within the global Kyoto community. She will prioritize unionise issues of global climate change, universal health care and rebuilding dismantling a strong economy. After eight eleven-and-a-half long great years, the public will once again have faith fear in their government,’’ said Streisand Blanchett , a longtime supporter of Democratic secret-socialist/left wing candidates.

      That’s got it.

      Posted by SandiM on 2007 11 28 at 12:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 Paco, any site with the address “weaselzippers.net” just has to be good!

      And his message was great!

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 11 28 at 01:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, I am not much concerned with my country regaining its respect in the global community (by which I suspect she means my ountry regaining the respect of the global community).

      No, I am only concerned with regaining Barbra Streisand’s respect.  Me, personally.  I’d hate to go to my grave without it.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2007 11 28 at 02:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can any of the Americans tell me this.  Was Babs bonking Bill?

      Posted by Cashew on 2007 11 28 at 02:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. I guess Babs has forgiven Hilldog for banning her from the White House?

      Posted by Attmay on 2007 11 28 at 02:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. How can Hillary lose with Barbara Strident on her side?

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 03:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. ‘Under her leadership, our country will regain its respect within the global community’

      same old.

      personally I preferred living in the kind of country that gave the global community the finger to living in a country that jumps off cliffs just cause every two bit busted arse country does

      Posted by eeniemeenie on 2007 11 28 at 03:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. # 12, kae,

      All warm and squishy.

      Was thinking the same thing myself.  Wowsers, the lot of them.

      Posted by Janice on 2007 11 28 at 04:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Let’s Hear It For The Masseurs:
      People … people who knead people,
      Are the luckiest people, in the world …

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 11 28 at 05:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. What a shock. Who’d’a thunk it?

      Posted by m on 2007 11 28 at 06:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Personally, I can handle the idea of President Hillary, because if our friends from the Middle East try another 9-11, hillary will give them one big fucking war on their arses.

      Posted by Young and Free on 2007 11 28 at 06:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #40 eeniemeenie you beat me to it! Blast and dang it all!

      Well played, sir.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2007 11 28 at 07:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. You guys are just jealous because her nails are still perfect.

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2007 11 28 at 10:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Actor/Mimbo James Brolin,
      Upon Serious Consideration,
      Endorses a Candidate.
      This country is safe, free, and rich,
      And I say it’s time for a switch;
      We’ll be sad and poor
      If we’ll all vote for
      The lesbian socialist bitch.

      Posted by lyle on 2007 11 28 at 10:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. Embarrassed, Mr Brolin
      Issues a Clarification
      That ‘lesbian’ crack, I repent.
      And when I said ‘bitch’ my intent
      Was, in a good way.
      And ‘socialist’, hey,
      Babs tells me it’s not what I meant.

      Posted by lyle on 2007 11 28 at 11:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. #38–Can any of the Americans tell me this.  Was Babs bonking Bill?

      Here’s how the story goes: In the beginning, Babs, who fancies herself a political brain trust, was a frequent visitor to the White House (before James Brolin became Mr. Barbra Streisand). Bill even arranged for her to address the Kennedy School of Government (no, really; I caught the Q&A on CSPAN–it was hilarious). People couldn’t help but notice that Barbra’s visits to the White House seemed to co-ordinate with Hillary’s absences and, Bill being Bill, the rumors began to fly. Then one night Barbra performed for a small group of presidential guests and sang “Bill” (from Show Boat–a real torcher). Apparently Babs was fucking Bill with her song and Bill was fucking Babs with his eyes and Hillary, who was in-house on this occasion, got plain fucking mad and had Babs thenceforth banned. Or so the story goes.

      Was Babs boinking Bill? We won’t know for sure until somebody tells us, but my guess is yes. Unless maybe they were having that weird Clinton sex that isn’t really sex, but somehow la Streisand doesn’t seem the type to be satisfied with merely blowing the presidential horn.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 11 28 at 12:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Splendid, Lyle. As always.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 11 28 at 12:38 PM • permalink

 

  1. Thanks, Kyda. I dread a revival of Bill Clinton’s stag party in the private quarters while Hillary re-enacts Richard Nixon out front. Some kinds of farce are too grim and predictable to laugh at.

    Posted by lyle on 2007 11 28 at 02:05 PM • permalink