RACING AMPHIBIANS

The LA Times reports:

Death by car could be a major contributor to the decline of many amphibian species …

They shouldn’t drive so fast, then. Bonneville is swarming with the speed-crazed mutant bastards.

Posted by Tim B. on 04/21/2008 at 12:47 PM
    1. The main problems are that (a) amphibians aren’t tall enough to see over the dashboard, and (b) the seatbelts aren’t scaled to size. They are also easily distracted by flies and other insects that occasionally get into the car.

      Martha: Herbie, you just missed the Woodbridge exit.

      Herbie (Gulping down fly and smacking lips): Huh?

      Martha: You’ve also crossed the median right into the path of that big semi.

      Herbie: Godribbit! *Screeeeech – CRASH!*

      Posted by paco on 2008 04 21 at 01:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now they’re trying to stop cane-toad popping!

      Posted by rhhardin on 2008 04 21 at 01:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ancient cartoon, two snails on the back of a turtle :  Hang on!  Here we go!

      Posted by rhhardin on 2008 04 21 at 01:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Faster, faster, faster! Until the thrill of speed overcomes the fear of death.”
      —SpeedFreak motto

      Posted by mojo on 2008 04 21 at 02:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. I blame Mr. Toad.  He’s a bad influence.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2008 04 21 at 05:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. So now we have to buy little racing cars for the cane toad eradication project?

      That’s a bit extravagant, isn’t it?

      Posted by kae on 2008 04 21 at 05:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Me and Archie: a Tale
      of Two Amphibians
      I walks me best pal Archie
      Down to the racing track
      And then I says to Archie,
      ‘Let’s you and me attack.’‘Them shiny screamin’ creatures
      Is each a death machine,
      They’s gonna dry the sea up
      And make the desert green.’‘If both of us, we run out,
      And sacrifice two lives,
      Might be we can cause a crash
      To save our kids and wives.’

      Archie, rest him, he’s a saint,
      Martyred for the planet;
      Now I gotta break it to
      His lovely widow Janet.

      Posted by lyle on 2008 04 21 at 05:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Damn typo! Skipped a word…

      Me and Archie: a Tale
      of Two Amphibians

      I walks me best pal Archie
      Down to the racing track
      And then I says to Archie,
      ‘Let’s you and me attack.’

      ‘Them screamin’ speedy creatures
      Is each a death machine,
      They’s gonna dry the sea up
      And make the desert green.’

      ‘If both of us, we run out,
      And sacrifice two lives,
      Maybe we can cause a crash
      To save our kids and wives.’

      Archie, rest him, he’s a saint,
      Martyred for the planet;
      Now I gotta break it to
      His lovely widow Janet.

      Posted by lyle on 2008 04 21 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m with #5 Mikethelibrarian.

      These biologists from Purdue have picked up Wind in the Willows by mistake. They should have read on. Toad of Toad Hall survived the car crash.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 04 21 at 07:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. If you’ll settle for racing chelonians, come visit me in Los Angeles.  I’ll take you to Brennan’s Pub for the Thursday night turtle races—as the turtle race announcer himself calls it, “The stupidest sport in America!”
      Actually, you might be surprised.  The younger turtles* can really put on some speed!*Technically, of course, the chelonians being raced are tortoises, not turtles.

      Posted by Mary in LA on 2008 04 21 at 08:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m tellin’ ya, the little buggars shouldn’t be issued driver’s licenses till the evolve into at least a lower primate!

      Posted by rinardman on 2008 04 21 at 09:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, they evolve makes more sense, I guess.

      Posted by rinardman on 2008 04 21 at 09:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is how it’s done!

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 04 21 at 10:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11 LAT shouldn’t be issued writer’s licenses till the evolve into at least a lower primate!

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 04 21 at 10:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. I have been looking in vain for “amphibian tires” The frogs get so thick that the road gets slippery, then with the seagulls and crows hit while feasting on the froggy road kill, and the skunks and racoons eating the birds, and the Pennsylvania Bitters eating the roadkill. It is a right mess. I have to give the greenies this one.

      Posted by moptop on 2008 04 22 at 04:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. BTW, LOL @ the inimitable Paco’s “Godribbit!” 🙂

      Posted by Mary in LA on 2008 04 22 at 04:36 PM • permalink

 

  1. Amphibian tires, look closely.

    Cheers

    Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2008 04 22 at 06:09 PM • permalink