NOT THE SHIVALINGAM!

“Global warming shrinks Shivalingam,” according to the Hindustan Times:

The Shivalingam at Amarnath in Jammu, which stood 12 feet tall even till June 18, has now reportedly shrunk to 4 feet.

(Via Kent)

Posted by Tim B. on 06/29/2007 at 01:38 PM
    1. Maybe it’s just osteoporosis. What the heck is the thing made out of, anyhow?

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 29 at 01:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wot? Didn’t some of those people blast some of those religious things out of existence a little while ago?

      Now they’re blaming GW. That will do it every time.

      Posted by mareeS on 2007 06 29 at 01:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Now that’s a euphemism I hadn’t heard yet….

      “Global warming shrinks Shivalingam,”

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 06 29 at 02:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wasn’t ‘Thou Shalt Not Worship Frozen Idols’ on those tablets Charlton Heston brought back from The Planet of the Apes?

      Posted by brett_l on 2007 06 29 at 02:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. The Shivalingam.

      In case you all thought that thing they were all fighting for in Indiana Jones:  The Temple of Doom was something Hollywood nitbots thought up.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 06 29 at 02:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Global warming shrinks Shivalingam”

      Really? Explain. So what has been the mean temperature rise over the last couple of years? The standard deviation of the mean? Any data on local temperature fluctuations over the past decades? Past centuries?

      I have heard college educated people attribute almost weather change to global warming.  Have a heat wave, its global warming. (Gee, its summertime, well, duh!) What the global warming hysteria has shown me is the public’s general lack of the most rudimentary knowledge and methods of science combined with a complete ignorance of physical history of the earth.  This is particularly inexcusable among “environmentalists” who claim to be “experts” on the earth. It is depressing to observe that here in the 21st Century hysteria and superstition still win out over knowledge.

      Posted by Mark Razak on 2007 06 29 at 02:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. I hate when my shivalingam shrinks.

      I agree with Elaine…  I don’t know how we walk around with these things

      Posted by Zonc on 2007 06 29 at 02:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Global warming shrinks Shivalingam

      George Costanza, (Seinfeld show) had the same problem, only with cold water.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 29 at 02:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Like a frightened turtle. . . .

      Posted by cobalt blue on 2007 06 29 at 02:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. RebeccaH

      Great link.

      don’t know about the rest of you, but it looks like someone, forgot to flush. i hate when someone does that. i mean come on, it isnt like drawing a crossbow, pushing that handle down

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 29 at 02:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. And did Shiuvawhatta do last summer?

      More importantly, when is our online media going to stop running stories that cry out for a picture without including a picture?

      Posted by tim maguire on 2007 06 29 at 03:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. The sky is falling! The sky is falling! Oh, wait! As you were.

      The whatsimagikit is shrinking! The whatsimajigit is… Huh? The what? Is what? And that’s cos of … what?

      Posted by SandiM on 2007 06 29 at 03:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Everybody knows heat makes things expand. Stupid Shiva-thingam.

      Posted by Latino on 2007 06 29 at 03:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. It was the ghost of Andrei Shrevelup Andropov!

      Posted by mojo on 2007 06 29 at 03:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. No problem.  Take Shiviagra.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 06 29 at 03:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. So warmer weather is causing the Shivalingam to become smaller.  What is made of, ice cream?

      Posted by David Crawford on 2007 06 29 at 03:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. It must have been Bush. Everyone knows that fire can’t melt Shivalingam. Google it.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 06 29 at 04:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Srinagar , Jun 15 (KONS): The Jammu and Kashmir government has asked the devotees intending to undertake pilgrimage to the holy cave shrine of Amarnath this year not to touch or tamper with the ice ‘Shiva lingam (phallic symbol of Hindu diety Shiva)’. The Directorate of Tourism has issued dos and don’ts for the devotees to ensure smooth conduct of the pilgrimage.”

      “Subject to the weather conditions, the annual two-month-long pilgrimage to the holy cave shrine of Amarnath in south Kashmir would commence simultaneously from both traditional Pahalgam and shorter Baltal routes on June 30 to end on August 28.”

      “In its advertisement, the Directorate asked the pilgrims not to touch or tamper with the holy ‘Shiva lingam’. It has also asked the devotees not to place or throw anything on the ice-lingam. The appeal comes in the wake of a religious controversy over the alleged tampering with the ‘ice-lingam’ at the holy cave shrine last year which forced the authorities to order a judicial inquiry into the matter and also resulted in the resignation of a senior member from the Shri Amarnathji Shrine Board, headed by Jammu and Kashmir Governor Lt Gen (Retd) S K Sinha.”

      Quit touching it/throwing crap on it (and knocking off pieces for temporary keepsakes, I’m sure), and it won’t melt away.

      Trust me on this one.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 29 at 05:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. “What is made of, ice cream?”

      This particular one is made out of ice, and it turns out that if 8 zillion pilgrims lay their hands on an ice shivalingam, it’ll melt.

      Go figure.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 29 at 05:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. It sounds like a glorified icicle to me.

      Here, I found a picture.

      Posted by kcom on 2007 06 29 at 05:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Let me see if I’ve got this straight.  They’re worshiping an ice penis?

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 29 at 05:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Clearly, they’re in crying need of a Polar Atmospherics Chill Optimizer.  Who’s got the Himalayas sales beat?

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 29 at 05:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Will some Viagra help?

      Posted by Big Arnie on 2007 06 29 at 05:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. Achillea

      Who’s got the Himalayas sales beat?

      I believe that’s Sherpa Grimmy.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 06 29 at 05:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. They are allowed touch it?  8 million sweaty pilgrims breathing in the same room would have as much effect.
      For non-melting shivalingams, there’s a traffic bollard in Golden Gate Park that was put aside behind some bushes, and later “miraculously discovered” by a Brahmin priest who now anoints it daily and lays wreaths of flowers on it and has become a site for worship.  Wonder if it helps with traffic-tickets?
Posted by -keith in mtn. view on 2007 06 29 at 06:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. … anoints it daily …

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 29 at 06:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. I sawthis and my shivalingam shrunk.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 29 at 06:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. To 4 feet.

      Posted by dean martin on 2007 06 29 at 06:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. The fools!  The answer is right under their noses and they can’t see it!
      “The SASB had come under attack last year for placing dry ice at the cave.” Dry ice = frozen carbon dioxide….. yes, that’s right everyone..  Global Warming does exist and this is the first example of a verifiable case of man made global warming!

      So remember one and all …

      This shrine is sacred and on hallowed ground

      It is to be treated with the utmost respect and reverence

      No laughter or jokes about it are allowed

      [Especially smutty jokes about body parts]

      Posted by Wand on 2007 06 29 at 07:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Everything you need to know about the Shivalingam at Amarna.

      Cleary the Goracle is at war with Shiva.

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2007 06 29 at 07:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. #29 –

      I’m sorry, but if they’re going to worship (nevermind fondle) an ice penis, mockery isn’t just called for, it’s practically demanded.

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 06 29 at 08:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. #22: Clearly, they’re in crying need of a Polar Atmospherics Chill Optimizer.  Who’s got the Himalayas sales beat?

      Thanks for volunteering, Achillea. Don’t forget to hire a sherpa guide.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 29 at 08:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #32: . . .if they’re going to worship (nevermind fondle) an ice penis, mockery isn’t just called for, it’s practically demanded.

      Holy wankfest, Batman! Where’s the Penguin when you need him?

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 29 at 08:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Does anyone know what, if anything, is happening to the shivayoni….. assuming there is such a thing???

      Cheers
      RodC

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 06 29 at 08:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #34 Did you say Shenanigan?

      Posted by Wand on 2007 06 29 at 08:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Does anyone know what, if anything, is happening to the shivayoni…”

      Packed up and went looking for a large Shivalingam.

      Fickle, no?

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 29 at 09:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. holy penguins – it’s a Penis Attrition Climate Oracle

      Posted by KK on 2007 06 29 at 10:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #22, Achillea, #32, paco:

      Now hold on y’all. I did sell them the Polar Atmospherics Chill Optimizer. It is there and in proper working order… except they wouldn’t go for the upgrade package that includes the Power Attachement Connection Organizer.

      It is not my fault and not my problem and no blame to me if they cant get juice to their PACO because they refused to buy a PACO to allow power to run their PACO.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 29 at 10:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38: Well, I’ll be PACO’d! You gotta a good point, there, Grimmy.

      Posted by paco on 2007 06 29 at 10:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38 Grimmy…. Aaaaah the old aftermarket/upgrade gimmick. Do you guys sell computers too?

      Posted by greene on 2007 06 29 at 10:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. greene:

      Yes, of course. Our latest model is the Particularly Algorithmic Computational Optitron.

      The Himilaya route doesn’t have enough of a buyer base in such geewhizzery. So, I can’t give you any details or accurate descriptors, since I’ve never actually seen one.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 29 at 11:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think they need a new PACO Electric New Ice Solidifier….

      Posted by kae on 2007 06 30 at 12:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Embarrassing moment 154: When my tongue stuck frozen on the Shivalingam.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 06 30 at 12:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. Infidel:

      Ewww! Never would have pegged you for a lingam licker.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2007 06 30 at 01:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. “The Shivalingam at Amarnath in Jammu, which stood 12 feet tall even till June 18, has now reportedly shrunk to 4 feet.”

      So, erections don’t last forever.

      This is news?

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2007 06 30 at 03:47 AM • permalink

 

  1. Its funny though, they tried to keep it up with dry ice. Isn’t that counter productive? It’s like taking a cold shower. No wonder it’s down to 4’.

    Posted by Rajan R on 2007 06 30 at 08:54 AM • permalink