NIECE TOO TALL

I was brought up in an extended-family deal ruled by women: mother, grandmother, sister, aunt. Which explains my delicate and feminine nature. The female influence continues:
image
That’s me, youngest niece, mother, oldest niece, and sister. Not a bad-looking bunch, except for old Uncle Ugmo on the left there.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/26/2007 at 09:49 AM
    1. Your mum’s way too nice to have a sharp tongue.  You must have got it from your dad.

      Your sis got the looks though and has passed them on to her daughters.

      Nice family, Tim.

      Posted by Ubique on 2007 02 26 at 10:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. Yaarrrgh! At least we see where the ugly genes went- at least in most Celtic families it’s the other way- the Blair clan provides the tasty female progeny that guarantees that Scots are always the best looking buggers.

      Well look at Sean Connery then.

      Posted by Habib on 2007 02 26 at 10:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. Borat said that women’s brains are much smaller than men’s.  I didn’t believe him until I saw your Recent photo.

      Posted by blogagog on 2007 02 26 at 10:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. So how come the ladies are all dressed up nicely and you’re not, Tim? And you are wearing pants in the photo, aren’t you? (Or is it late at the wedding, or whateer, and all of the guys have dropped the ties and jackets?)

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 26 at 10:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry, “whatever” (or “whate’er”).

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 26 at 10:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. I was brought up in an extended-family deal ruled by women

      We all are, Tim. For without the rule by women, the picture wouldn’t exist.

      Not a bad-looking bunch

      I’d say you are to reticent in heaping words of praise. No one wants to make it seem, that their genes come from a far superior gene pool. I must say, it is a fine and lovely pool.

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 02 26 at 10:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. Lovely family Tim. The ladies are simply beautiful.  But here’s a tip: Next time suck in your gut, lest you be mistaken for a Fat American™.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 26 at 10:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. More proof there are no homely Aussie women.

      Posted by GaryS on 2007 02 26 at 10:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. #4 Come on Andycanuck, its as plain as the nose on your face. They’re obviously doing the Cotton-eyed Joe. Sheesh, I always thought you were more observant than that.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2007 02 26 at 10:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. A lovely family, Tim!  Even if you are in the same gene pool.  ;-P

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 26 at 10:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. A nice bunch!

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 02 26 at 10:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. I have always preferred tall women.

      My daughter-in-law is one of the tallest, smartest, and most beautiful women that I have ever met… and you wouldn’t believe my grandkids… wow!

      My son is great too of course… after all, she chose him.

      Posted by Franklin on 2007 02 26 at 10:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. Nothin’ wrong with tall (full disclosure—I’m 5’11”).

      Posted by Achillea on 2007 02 26 at 10:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmmm.

      Sorry Tim but I’m working with a significant caffeine depletion here.

      Are you one of those wearing a dress or not?

      If you are then bully for you man!  You’re looking pretty good.

      If you aren’t one wearing a dress, then you’ve got problems.  I suggest wearing a dress right away, though you can stop short of wearing high heels.

      Posted by memomachine on 2007 02 26 at 10:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. OK-but if one of those is the swimming niece I want to see if her fingers or toes are webbed (I still think Tim might be doing some world-domination genetic engineering on the side).

      Posted by 68W40 on 2007 02 26 at 11:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. What a lovely family!  And yes, women do rule, why do you ask?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 02 26 at 11:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim,

      Oh wow.  Um, Tim, with all due respect,  next time you want a photo taken of you, try not standing beside fine looking ladies.  My suggestion is get the tutu woman who pulled the truncheon from the Aussie cop and her cohorts.  You’d look like George Clooney then.

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 26 at 11:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. George Clooney.  Exactly my contemplative question.  Isn’t all that female influence supposed to make you like metrosexual or something?  Que Pasa?

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 02 26 at 11:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Damn. And I was all set to unload a devastating bon mot about the looks discrepancy. No sense piling on, I guess.

      Posted by CraigC on 2007 02 26 at 11:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. I really hope that older niece is 18+, or I’m going to feel really horrible.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 12:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Lovely picture, Tim.

      Posted by C.L. on 2007 02 26 at 12:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. #9 Sorry, Texas Bob, I was wearing my Polka-Activated Contacts Oculomoter this morning and not my country dances glasses. PACO™: because polka dancers with glasses never get passes.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2007 02 26 at 12:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmm.  I have five elder sisters.  Might explain why I also chose a career in writing—the only means of communication left for me.

      Lovely girls, Tim.  Treat them kindly, as someday they’ll choose your home.

      Posted by Rittenhouse on 2007 02 26 at 12:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. That’s a great looking bunch and you’re not so bad, Dork Boy. Jack Nicholson was raised in an all-female environment (and believed his mother was his sister and his grandmother his mother, but that’s another story) and we all know what a macho-macho man Jack is.

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 26 at 12:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. How tall is too tall?  I’m fine with tall, and small.  I just don’t like fat.

      Dave S., you should feel horrible.  I doubt she’s sixteen.

      I don’t discriminate, but I expect to settle down with someone tall.  I hated being short and want to improve my kids chances.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2007 02 26 at 01:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. “How much for the little girl?”
      —The Blues Brothers

      Posted by mojo on 2007 02 26 at 02:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Do I have to change my bookmark from timblair.net to uncleugmo.net now?

      It doesn’t seem to have quite the same ring to it.

      Posted by Nicholas on 2007 02 26 at 03:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Dave S., you should feel horrible.  I doubt she’s sixteen.

      My feeble, yet completely true, defense is that my monitor is a blurry old piece of crap.

      So who’s the big gal in the light blue shirt, then?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 03:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Uh Tim, does your oldest niece ever make it out to Houston or thereabouts? I’ll show her all the sites! Tim, this is important. Tim, are you listening?

      Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 02 26 at 05:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wait, someone was saying words like “under 18”. If that’s true, I take back all lecherous comments. Over 18, more leching to follow.

      Posted by mencken_cynic on 2007 02 26 at 05:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Is it just me, or does Tim’s shirt look just like the one worn by Peter Garrett in that Archibald portrait?

      Posted by Kami on 2007 02 26 at 05:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim B, they’ll love me as their new sister in law/daughter in law. Hi Mum!

      p.s. it does look like Peter G shirt (hhmmm)

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 26 at 05:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #31 You’re onto something there.

      How did Dork Boy get Garrett’s shirt? Could be bad news for 1.6…

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2007 02 26 at 05:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. careful, people. As I recall the sister is a policewoman.

      Posted by JonathanH on 2007 02 26 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. How did Dork Boy get Garrett’s shirt?

      Did you see Brokeback Mountain?

      Posted by Kyda Sylvester on 2007 02 26 at 06:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. So I sez to me wife, I sez “Darling, sumppin oughta be done for Tim’s poor niece. The plain one what can’t get a man of her own and has to depend on her uncle’s questionable judgment. A cryin’ shame it is. If only she were younger, taller, thinner, more athletic, and had better cheekbones than she does right now.”
      And she sez back to me, “It’s a pity, really. And Tim being half blind, as you can see from his taste in clothing. Don’t we know anyone suitable?”
      “Better make it quick, is all I can say. Else she’ll settle for Mencken_cynic.” And I shake my head remembering how he was so badly disfigured in the oil rig fire outside of Houston.
      “Wot about that young leper boy down the street? He’s got to be better than Dave S.”
      “Why sure,” I replied. “I bet he’d give his right arm for a nice – though sadly unattractive – young woman.” And then I thought that I missed a good opportunity to use the word “literally”.
      “Drop by and see him tomorrow,” sez the missus. “Or better yet, call to him from the street. No sense taking any chances. But fer Gawd’s sake, just do it before Tim fixes her up with Mojo.”
      And we both suppressed a shudder.

      Posted by Merlin on 2007 02 26 at 06:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. I know how you feel, Tim. The five most important people in my life: mother (RIP), aunt (RIP), sister, wife, daughter.

      And I like being the only male in a house full of females (that includes the two cats).

      Posted by David Morgan on 2007 02 26 at 07:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. The offensive comment that was here has been removed and the commenter (note: a new troll who has tried to hide behind a longtime commenter’s screen name) has been banned. The comment, however, has been saved in case Tim wants to press charges, as we do have aaron-double-underscore-half-wit’s IP address. The Management.

      Posted by aaron__ on 2007 02 26 at 07:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Wow. Looks like “aaron__” is asking for as assegai up the ass.

      Posted by Rob Crawford on 2007 02 26 at 07:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. You know, if this was a photo of some lefty’s sisters, neices, etc., we would be falling over each other to make the most lecherous and nasty comments possible.  As it is, I still feel inclined to make a particularly fresh comment to Tim’s sister, who is very comely.

      But something tells me that this is a trap!  Probably Andrea is hidden behind the door ready to spring on anyone who makes the least unfavorable comment.  It’s a culling!

      It’s also a quashing of our right of expression to say titties and ass, that’s what it is.  Why don’t we all just turn Communist, eh?

      Posted by wronwright on 2007 02 26 at 08:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey Timbo – you got names for all them there chins……

      Posted by Bonmot on 2007 02 26 at 08:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Happy Birthday to your Mum, Tim.

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 26 at 09:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Genetics sure is a fickle beast. One day right on the money. Next day it’s like she went drinking with Richard Burton and Peter O’Toole and couldn’t be arsed.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2007 02 26 at 09:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim B.

      Those accusations of blogging in “relative anonymity” must have really hurt.

      Posted by ErnestBludger on 2007 02 26 at 09:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Die in a fire, aaron.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 09:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. #45

      soon

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 26 at 09:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. Fine family, Tim.  And very sporting of you to jump on the, ah, less-than-stellar-looks grenade, sparing the lovely ladies from anything short of perfection.

      Posted by rbj1 on 2007 02 26 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. OK I’m not going to post any comment at all on this thread, just to be cautious…

      Posted by Shaky Barnes on 2007 02 26 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. What the hell brought that on, aaron?
      Fry, fucker. FRY.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 26 at 09:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. Swinish, he’s posted pr0n elsewhere in another thread.

      rbj1 (diplomat)

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 26 at 10:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Posted what, kae? You’re baffling me with jargon.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 26 at 10:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50

      Arrgh

      *****

      rbj1 is a diplomat.

      that didn’t come out right at all.

      Posted by kae on 2007 02 26 at 10:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. And I’m still confused.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 26 at 10:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Kae means that the little charmer posted a dirty picture for the unwitting to click on.

      Classy, huh?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 02 26 at 10:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. /33 Margo’s

      As long as he dosn’t have a Pirate puff shirt hiding in the cupboard …

      Posted by 1.618 on 2007 02 26 at 10:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Guys: I have banned the fake aaron (he used a double underscore in order to make you think he was long-time commenter aaron_) and removed the pr0n link he left in a previous post, the offensive comment he made here, and the plagiarized article he put up on another ocmment thread. If you find some other garbage by this creep and are confused just hold your mouse over the screen name—his profile number is 5353, while our aaron’s is 1749.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2007 02 26 at 11:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. Good work Andrea.
      Hey – I just held my mouse over 1.618 and I got “Jennifer Connelly”! WOW!

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 02 26 at 11:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Two or three years’ time and your other lovely niece is going to be towering over you as well, Tim. But you knew that, didn’t you?

      Posted by David Morgan on 2007 02 26 at 11:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #45, 46: but slowly.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2007 02 27 at 12:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. #41, Bonmot,

      How unkind.

      My father had a build and a smile like that and therefore I regard these attributes as those that properly belong to proper, mature men.  Don’t like skinny men at all.

      Much better to have more than one chin when smiling than to have a neck like Jeff McMullen does these days.

      This picture offers the merest hint of his present, alarmingly wattled, state.

      Posted by Janice on 2007 02 27 at 04:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Nice legs Tim.  Shame about not having them included.  Too hairy?  Ha!

      Posted by Stevo on 2007 02 27 at 06:32 AM • permalink

 

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