MODOPIA

If only the war had been fought in Ethiopia. If only, instead of oil, Iraq held vast reserves of Fruitopia! Then Maureen Dowd’s year would have been perfect

Dowd, April ‘04: “ … the 9/11 commission’s staff, which faults the [CIA] for management miasma and Al Qaeda myopia … “

Dowd, May ‘04: “When a beaming Mr. Wolfowitz stopped at my table to greet an admiring Republican, I wanted to snap, ‘Get back to your desk, Mr. Myopia from Utopia!’”

Dowd, August ‘04: “I would sum it up by saying that the neocons wanted a utopia in Iraq. But because of their myopia, we’ve ended up with a dystopia in the Middle East.”

Dowd, September ‘04: “Faced with their dystopia, the utopians are scaling back their grand visions for Iraq’s glorious future.”

Dowd, December ‘04: “His disgraceful admission that his condolence letters to the families of soldiers killed in Iraq were signed by machine … is redolent of the myopia that has led to the dystopia.”

I bet a machine is writing Dowd’s columns. No human would persist with this myopia/dystopia/utopia line.

Posted by Tim B. on 12/27/2004 at 02:13 AM
    1. But wait! Don’t forget Autopia. And Presbyopia.

      I’m not sure I can copia nymore. I’m gonna go popopia beer.

      Posted by Ken Summers on 12/27 at 02:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. Who said Modo is human?

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 02:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks for the cornucopia of mo-ron-opia.

      Posted by maxx on 12/27 at 03:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. So what other obsessive-compulsive behaviours does MoDo exhibit? Probably things I don’t want to know…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 12/27 at 04:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. It can’t be a machine, because a machine would have noticed the problem.

      I think the main reason Dowd is successful is that she’s quite pretty, and for years has had a terrific head shot atop her columns.  Lots of people see that and figure, “hey, a beautiful opinionated person! let’s have a read!”

      If Dowd looked like Helen Thomas (come to think of it, they’re both redheads…hmm), she wouldn’t be writing for the newspaper of record.

      Posted by littlebeartoe on 12/27 at 04:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does she listen to U2’s Zootopia?

      Posted by Andrew on 12/27 at 04:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. Has MoDo become the opia of the masses?

      Posted by RebeccaH on 12/27 at 04:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. Dowd has been in autoerotopia for a number of years…

      Posted by Ioxymoron on 12/27 at 05:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. I blame Dr. Seuss.

      Posted by dorkafork on 12/27 at 06:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think she’s gotta be doing this on a bet. There’s no way that myopia/dystopia/utopia would occur to anyone spontaneously with that great a frequency. Unless … maybe, each time, she had just “learned” a “new” word….

      Posted by m on 12/27 at 06:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope somebody’s Christmas gift to MoDo was a new dictionary of rhyming words…

      Posted by PW on 12/27 at 06:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cat in the hat; doubt trout from roover river

      Posted by rog on 12/27 at 06:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. opia, opia, opia,…. sounds like she’s on some opiate.

      Posted by Franklin on 12/27 at 07:51 AM • permalink

 

    1. Some amusing comments here, but…seriously folks. Bush said “It’s hard work” eleven times in the first Bush-Kerry debate. That’s within 90 minutes, not over six months. And you’re calling Dowd a machine?

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 08:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Do they read Dowd in a house?

      Do they read Dowd with a mouse?

      Posted by Dorian on 12/27 at 09:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. Pouty Maureen Dowd
      screeching and loud
      Provokes crowds
      Buttocks her head enshrouds

      Posted by Dorian on 12/27 at 11:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Yes, “It’s hard work” is every bit as cutesy as “Myopia from Utopia.” Good point.

      Posted by Jim Treacher on 12/27 at 12:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Not at all as cutesy, but much more machine-like.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 01:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. Extry, Extry, Read All about It: Maureen Dowd Fails Turing Test. Revealed to be cyborg planted by Karl Rove and Rupert Murdoch.

      Posted by Protagonist on 12/27 at 01:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. How is “it’s hard work” more machine-like than “myopia, utopia”? Or would you like Bush better if he dropped into rap?

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yep, definitely an AI, and an buggy one at that. Nonsense phrases like “myopia dystopia” and “plastic turkey” are persistent glitches in all of the first-generation AI’s created by the Republicans. And the portable prototype requires so much extra hardware that it can barely move on it’s own power.

      Posted by Bryan C on 12/27 at 01:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Andrea: “It’s hard work” 11 times in an hour.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/27 at 02:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Would someone explain the difference between writing and speaking extemporanously to me? I always thought there was one, but evidently there isn’t. They are the same.

      Posted by Dylan on 12/27 at 02:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Strange Doctrines seems to think so, anyway.

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/27 at 02:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. strange dope,
      so, you make $2.75 an hour?

      but seriously, folks, i just flew in from vegas, and boy are my arms tired!

      Posted by guinsPen on 12/27 at 03:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. but seriously, folks, I just flew in from Vegas, and boy are my arms tired!

      Not an admission I’d advise making in public.  We all know Vegas is a wankers’ city but there’s no need to rub our faces in your predilection.

      Posted by walterplinge on 12/27 at 05:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. dopier

      Posted by you bet on 12/27 at 08:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. guinsPen…did the croupier deliver utopia or did myopia caused by anisometropia deliver dystopia? Your mode of transport should be investigated by Opia.

      Posted by Srekwah on 12/27 at 09:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Some amusing comments here, but…seriously folks. Bush said “It’s hard work” eleven times in the first Bush-Kerry debate. That’s within 90 minutes, not over six months. And you’re calling Dowd a machine?”

      Wow. A common phrase used in context 11 times in an hour and a half. That’s like some kind of Tourette’s or something.

      I noticed he also overused the words “nation”, “at”, and “the”, as well as the letter B.

      Posted by Dave S. on 12/28 at 02:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. difference between writing and speaking extemporanously

      A common phrase used in context 11 times

      I admit I’m at some disadvantage in this argument, since Bush (1) doesn’t write and (2) doesn’t use uncommon phrases. (Hell, I’m not even sure he really extemporizes; the word certainly doesn’t apply to what he did in the first debate.)

      At all events, those who want to pretend that there’s something truly striking about repeating a “cute” play on the word ‘myopia’ in print five times over eight months, well, you go boys and girls.

      Posted by Strange Doctrines on 12/28 at 03:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. OK, strange, you have outlived your interest on this little obsession of yours. Oh look—I used “you”, “yours” and “your” all in the same sentence! Sinister!

      Side issue: “since Bush (1) doesn’t write”—and you* would know this how? I’m pretty sure the man can write a sentence, since it is pretty hard to graduate Yale with an MBA without being able to do so.

      *There it is again! Crank up the Conspiratron™!

      Posted by Andrea Harris on 12/28 at 03:50 AM • permalink

 

  1. MoDo’s writing is like verbal fruit cake.  It’s heavy and hard to digest.  I don’t miss her column in The Tulsa World.

    Posted by zzx375 on 12/28 at 03:36 PM • permalink