MINI APPLE IS

Apologies for so few posts; it’s a little difficult to maintain internet access when driving a cube-shaped baby Pontiac (I think the model type is Zion—a Pontiac Zion) through interstate snow drifts. Especially when the car involved offers no evidence of an engine, apart from requiring fuel.

Classic rock FM radio fact: Gimme Three Steps was played four times today, narrowly defeating Sweet Home Alabama (3 repetitions) as the Lynyrd Skynard classic rock selection of the day. It even beat out Piano Man, the opening notes of which were detected just twice. Once, in fact, as three youngsters driving in front of me were nearly pitched into a snowbank in response to a trucker’s impatient honking. Snow driving is fun; make any incorrect move and you’re all ditch-dwelling or tree-thumping. Thing is, almost any move is wrong. Driving on impacted snow is like performing heart surgery on a hummingbird.

Through sheer driving genius (and the lack of snow post-Chicago) I’m now at the Minnesota compound of James Lileks, who tomorrow will try to establish a local tradition of turkey consumption. It could catch on; he’s very influential.

More soon. Must add wine to that turkey idea.

And Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. We all of us have a whole bunch to be thankful for.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/24/2005 at 12:50 AM
    1. Here’s some more heartwarming Christmas goodwill from our American allies at Voice of America.
      Nice to know they’re thinking of us at this cheery time.

      US to Resume Sales of Lethal Weapons to Indonesia
      The United States has decided to resume the sale of lethal military hardware to Indonesia. The State Department announced Tuesday that in the interest of U.S. national security it has exercised its authority under a law passed earlier this month to waive conditions on U.S. military relations with Indonesia

      voanews.com/english/2005-11-23-voa1.cfm

      The State Department statement says “Indonesia has made significant progress in advancing its democratic institutions and practices in a relatively short time.”
      Someone sould tell Johnny ?

      Posted by davo on 2005 11 24 at 02:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. I have it on good authority that James Lileks is quite partial to Oz wine. Hope you brought some, Tim. Please send him my regards.

      Also, if you get the chance, please say “Hi” to Mrs G (Gnat’s Nana), and if you can, ask to sample some of her insanely yummy caramels.

      Glad you got there safely.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2005 11 24 at 02:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. I hope it won’t be plastic turkey!

      Posted by pog-ma-thon on 2005 11 24 at 02:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim! You’re still with us! Much relieved.
      Leaping in early on this thread to go completely off topic, I’d just like to ask: Has anyone else had an email from Bob Geldof recently? Yes, that Bob Geldof. I haven’t opened it yet but I know it’s him because the subject line is: THIS IS CRITICAL. Critical, eh? First the bastard invades my privacy and then he comes on like I’m International Rescue. I could open the damned thing I suppose, but not on the work computer. Just in case it’s carrying something.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2005 11 24 at 02:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. What, no Freebird?

      Posted by OMGWTFBBQ on 2005 11 24 at 03:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. There’s no such thing as a Pontiac Zion, Tim, which is a shame; I was going to suggest everyone clubbing together and buying one for Margo.

      Posted by blandwagon on 2005 11 24 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. HAH!  Turkeyday with the Lileks!  Watch out for Jasper; I recall that he is considered The Most Evil Dog In The World™.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 11 24 at 03:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Journalism must pay rather well, Tim seems to spend lots of time overseas in USA.  *envy* 🙂

      Posted by Steve at the pub on 2005 11 24 at 03:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/t On Hateline Singaporean opposition member Chee Soon Juan announced that “you’ve got to understand that UNLIKE IN AUSTRALIA,Singapore’s not a democratic society.Every t.v. station,every radio station,,every newspaper is under the control of the Government and the Government has thus far let very little of this information(about the death penalty)go out to the public”.
      HELLO ARE YOU RECEIVING ABC,SBS,TONY JONES,RED KEZZA,PHAT ADAMS,MOTHER DOOGUE,FAIRFAX,BOB BROWNY,THE “DEMOCRATS”etc,

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 03:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. ABC continues to try and force private companies and/or the Feds to cancel commercial contracts and dealings with Singapore.
      Having screeched ad nauseum about Howard not being “in touch” with Asia the Paragon that we must all try to be touchy feely with and never ever insult or cause to lose “face”—–What do they imagine Asia to be-no country is without drawbacks,even our friend the U.S. -even (amazingly) Australia.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 03:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t Boss of ABC talk networks,Mark Collier has resigned after five years,to spend time in CANADA with his partner.Collier was responsible for Radio National,rural and news radio.The ABC has decided not to replace him.source OZ today.also DAD Julie McCrossin’s attempts to get a job back at radio national have failed.Life Matters will be hosted by Richard Aedy.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 03:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. I brought the Oz wine. And it’s ALL GONE.

      Posted by Tim B. on 2005 11 24 at 03:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. Expect very little bleatage tomorrow, because I am having a house guest; if experience is any judge, I will need 46 aspirin and a fresh liver Wednesday morning.

      Heh.BTW You might update James on my little, er, melodrama of this year, not sure he’s heard.

      Hope he got the Women’s Weekly Cookbook I sent him some time ago, too, I forgot to follow up on that.

      Hope you guys have a good time.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2005 11 24 at 03:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. Help! I’m logged in as Tim Blair! He used my laptop at the kitchen table and now he has absorbed my identity!

      Crikey!

      Lileks

      Posted by Tim B. on 2005 11 24 at 03:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, you definitely have been at the plonk… Happy Thanksgiving! May your Turkeys never be Plastic!

      Not that I think you’d notice, in your current state.

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2005 11 24 at 03:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Stop using the internet and party down you goddamn nerds

      Posted by OMGWTFBBQ on 2005 11 24 at 03:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. OMGWTFBBQ… I think they’re both incorrigible, so no need to incorrige them.

      It’s 1900 local time, so it must be about, what, 1am there.

      I’m wondering – will 46 aspirin be enough?

      Posted by Zoe Brain on 2005 11 24 at 04:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T Also in OZ today-Errol Simper cries over the pitiful situation of retrenched cronies.If their output is as blatantly left skewed as his,their sackings are not surprising when loss of circulation figures are taken into account.
      At the A.G.M. of Fairfax (or rather outside)are 100 scribes in white t shirts with the recycled anti apartheid( South African black miners’) slogan attached.
      “Fred got the gold mine,we got the shaft.”
      Among the “demonstrateurs” Tim Vaughan,Joyce Morgan,David Marr,Doug Anderson,Gerard Noonan,Conrad Walters,Jenny Cooke,Kate McClymont,Garrett Jones,Michael Visontay and Bruce Wolpe.
      Simper states that smh journo Darren Goodsir “points to a GLARING INCONSISTENCY”
      -that “Fairfax is shedding skills and expertise,yet pledging improvement.”.”It DOESN’T MAKE SENSE”.”Steven Mayne founder of Crikey is critical.So are others.The core question,the one about glaring inconsistency doesn’t get answered.”
      They just don’t get it do they.
      One answer can be found further down in the article where Simper says”another old friend Chris Schatch,once Fed ALP’s commumications spokesman and a former senator of uncommon good sense says”FAIRFAX IN COMMON WITH THE ABC,MUST BRAVE HOSTILITY IN MAINTAINING A PROPORTION OF LEFT OF CENTRE OPINIONS IN ITS TITLES.”
      They just don’t get it do they?(Yes twice.)

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 04:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. So it’s ok for travelling Aussies to crash at Lilek’s joint? I know he doesnt know me from a bar of soap but I feel like I’ve known him for years – I’m sure we’ll hit it off!
      P.S. I hope he doesnt have kids – I hate ‘em.

      Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 11 24 at 04:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Simper’s page mate Mark Day writes a long piece about “pretty white girl”(X2), released ecstasy user and ex prisoner in Bali gaol,Michelle Leslie.
      I thought it had previously been stated that she had Asian family connections,could be wrong.Also that she was released for other reasons than being pretty and white.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 04:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. You sherman tanks look after our Tim- we expect him back in mint condition…

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 04:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Welcome to Minnesota Tim!

      It’s an honor to have you in my home-town and in this country on the occasion of this wonderful holiday.

      Enjoy your time in Tangle-Town.

      James; Mom loved your latest book. She also loved the previous one.

      Please coordinate more fall book-releases for the next thirty or so years, as your books have (happily) replaced scented candles as the expected birthday gift from her second son.

      Enjoy the bird all!

      Oh yeah and the lutefisk.

      /bad memories of force-feeding of that slippery wretchedness from my Swede Dad.

      Posted by Thomas on 2005 11 24 at 04:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Vindice: P.S. I hope he doesnt have kids – I hate ‘em.

      Ah, that is my favorite “Lileks on Hewitt” live radio moment of all time:

      Not now, honey– Daddy is doing punditry….
      — J.L.  (She wanted to finish “Uno”)

      Posted by zeppenwolf on 2005 11 24 at 04:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. while tim’s away, there is something infantile & oafish to do by way of fucking with the ACTU – go to http://www.rightsatwork.com.au/campaigns/takeastand

      it was kinda fun signing as Rightwing Deathbeast & sending the message “tosser”

      Posted by KK on 2005 11 24 at 04:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Put Vegemite on the Turkey skin when you roast it!

      Posted by Razor on 2005 11 24 at 04:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. oh & enjoy the trip timbo

      Posted by KK on 2005 11 24 at 04:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Classic rock Tim? After your column in the Bulletin I would have though Country Music would have been your forte.

      Posted by cjblair on 2005 11 24 at 05:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. There’s no such thing as a Pontiac Zion

      Must be a Zionist plot! (hurgh hurgh hurgh)…This is an Aussie blog no? What’s all this Thanksgiving business anyway then? The Pilgrims landed at Botany?

      Bah Humbug I say! Whilst cute little 6 year olds dress up and go door to door in America trick-or-treating, I have obnoxious 17 year old kids turning up on my Sydney doorstep each Halloween demanding food or they’ll chuck eggs at my house and car.

      I can’t wait to see how the genuinely nice American holiday gets completely bastardised down under.

      Kirstie Alley was on Aussie TV ads yesterday flogging Jenny Craig low-fat turkeys so you “don’t miss out this Thanksgiving”… Apparently I never got the memo.

      Posted by Dan Lewis on 2005 11 24 at 05:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hi to Tim and James – best wishes to all on Thanksgiving, and safe trip back in due course.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 24 at 06:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. Back here is Oz the MSM continue to vet the stories and only talk about those they want to spin against the government.
      Suddenly, megaphone diplomacy is being advocated against those formerly nice Asians we should emulate.
      Trade should be used as a weapon when it suits us.
      They should be forced to the International Court, according to Fran this morning on Radio National. Sorry Fran, but that has to be by mutual agreement.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 24 at 06:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. ABC’s AM also ran with an item about Justice Kirby exhorting new Law graduates to be idealistic upholders of a proud legal tradition of support for civil liberties and all that is good and honourable and, well, not anti-left.
      Where would we be without those nice lawyers?

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 24 at 06:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. IR Legislation is also looming large as a promotional opportunity for those lawyers and unionists who have not yet found a safe seat in the Federal Trough Vaudeville Parliament.
      Looking back at the great dispute over the waterfront is instructive. Unions denied that their rate of work was in fact slow. Greg Combet lusted after the cameras. It was mooted that the tactics being used to break the strike were fascist and destructive. Street theatre was everywhere. What did we get? A new way of operating and greatly improved (impossible!) crane rates.
      Fast forward to the current imbroglio. Again Unions are concerned about the end of civilisation as they know it. Greg Combet is sincerely, seriously, sermonising before the cameras. Concerned (useful) churchmen are being mobilised. Workers have gathered in surprisingly varied numbers (state by state) at street theatre meetings to “be informed”.
      Nobody is being told by the unions, the ALP, the greens or the democrats, much less the MSM enclaves, that the work we do must be profitable first and comfortable second. That is the way of the world and we are not immune to it, or excused from the forces that govern business. We cannot be isolationist in the mainstream of our economy. If you do not like it, go and live in a rural commune and become self sufficient in lentils, while eschewing the frivolities of modernity and consumerism.
      Or vote accordingly at the next election. Just three years apart, not long.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 24 at 07:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. Pontiac Zion?  There is no – oh, I see where you must have gotten confused – you must be driving one of the new Pontiac Neocons.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 11 24 at 07:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Happy Thanksgiving to all you wonderful RWDB americans.
      When you are gobbling down that delicious turkey think of all the nutjobs at PETA that will be chowing down on their Tofurkey Loaf. I’d rather eat a plastic turkey.

      Posted by Hank Reardon on 2005 11 24 at 08:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim what i bemoan is you are missing some classic ABC green propaganda material. Tonight i kid you not they told us oil was going to effectively run out in 3-5 years!!! holy smoke thats got to be the best kept secret hence biggest conspiracy theory in history and all brought to you by a 20 something blonde model look alike paid big bucks by the long suffering tax payer. Catalyst another ptogramme debased by ABCSPEAK

      Posted by Astonished on 2005 11 24 at 08:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks for the tip about the online poll KK (#24).
      Suitable RWDB oafish and infantile response posted.

      And to all our seppo mates, have fun scoffing down your turkeys and fixin’s.

      I’m having a Chiko roll and a VB in solidarity.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 11 24 at 08:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Astonished, my brother rung me all concered about that catalyst story.  I asked him if the chap doing the scaremongering was a geologist or an economist.  Apparently he was a rock bandit.  Clever chaps, but do not know beans about the laws of demand and supply.

      I say bring it on! We are due for another round of creative destruction.  That’s how new markets, new opportunities are made (in the case of oil, that includes alternatives as well as potential new sources of oil, including those currently uneconomic at current prices).

      What’s ABC’s problem, I thought oil was bad?

      Posted by entropy on 2005 11 24 at 08:32 AM • permalink

 

    1. #31 Another lawyer…
      Catalyst -last week bagged as a pop,pseudo science,dumbed down programme,seizing every opportunity for an angle,a tilt etc.(by the Australian.)
      SBS news tonight with the black widow,trails a spectrum of misery as usual.”PRO WESTERN Georgia(ex USSR)has been criticized for Torture Tactics not being completely stopped after Scheverdnaze’s Russian Communist regime.
      The Catholic Church has been criticized by the Gay Lobby for being unchristian and
      banning Gay Priests.”
      Treasurer Costello gets a stern reprimand,being denounced for “a RECORD BUDGET SURPLUS.”
      Then for a change of tactics we get positive discrimination from the BBC.
      “TURKEY is hosting Pablo Picasso (an exhibition).Is it possible for culture to build BRIDGES” gushes the presenter,”this is a small but important demonstration of the EURO CONNECTION.It’s a COUP that TURKEY has pulled it off.
      Picasso’s grandson is less enthusiastic “the POLITICAL aspect is secondary..”i but on rushes our presenter “ it sends messages that CULTURALLY Turkey is AT EASE with EUROPE-it’s a MILESTONE,MODERNISM BESIDE THE MINARETS…”

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 09:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. I don’t blame Tim for driving from NYC to Minnesota.  I like driving, through small towns and villages.  If you notice carefully, you will note that the architecture of houses change as you go west.  Even within the same state, houses can be more or less ornate, more or less functional, etc.

      If Tim drove through Ohio, he would see many beautiful houses that were built in the latter part of the 19th century and the early part of the 20th.  The homes, with latticework, curves, and towers are callled Victorian, most likely after that great state in Australia.  Possibly, the bitter.

      It’s unfortunate that Tim missed the turning of the leaves.  They were absolutely gorgeous this year.  Yellows, oranges, reds, nature donning its finest apparel.

      Minneapolis is a very nice city.  Clean, functional, it has a very dynamic downtown area.  I used to visit the city when I dated a very nice gal there in the 1970’s.  She was an assistant producer of a 6 o’clock news show and she had a one room apartment.  It didn’t work out unfortunately.  She moved from a small town and I told her to give it up and become my full time cook and bed partner.  She wanted to give it a try on a career, thinking she might just make it after all.  Idealistic fool.  So I dropped her and starting banging the blonde landlady instead.  That didn’t last long though.  She talked too much.

      I do wonder whatever happened to Mary?  I miss those great gams.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 24 at 09:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. meamwhile back at Red Kezza’s7.30, Clark and Doyle resorting to slapstick to try and save a limp little skit about Bomber.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 09:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wistful Wronwright?

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 09:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Blair knows Lileks?

      This is like Petticoat JunctionGreen AcresAndy Griffith, where everybody knew everybody else on prime-time TV.

      Posted by Rittenhouse on 2005 11 24 at 09:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. … or, more sinister, like when you find out how interwoven MSM and the federal bureaucracy are, what with Alan Greenspan married to Maureen Dowd, and Lynne Cheney duck-hunting with William Rehnquist’s ghost.

      Posted by Rittenhouse on 2005 11 24 at 09:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Words or expressions wronwright does not know the meaning of or didn’t but does now:

      (#1 thru #10,260 omitted for space)

      #10,261 = ute = a pick up truck that can be very tasty when roasted on a barbie

      #10,262 = esky = a cooooooooooooler

      #10,263 = jeraboam

      #10,264 = seppo mates

      #10,265 = Chiko roll

      #10,266 = compassionate conservative

      #10,267 = Stoop Davy Dave in a sober state

      #10,268 = Richard McEnroe being nice and helpful

      #10,269 = Michael Lonie respecting other people’s possessions and leaving them alone

      #10,270 = Hamish Alcorn having the good sense of not delivering a pizza to Tim Blair’s house

      I suspect most of you Aussies are making up words to confuse the Americans that come here.  I think that’s a very mean XXXX induced thing to do.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 24 at 09:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim and James,

      Mister Duhbya McChimpy Torture Pants* dropped something by the house for y’all.

      *Sortelli’s entry wins, in my book.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 11 24 at 09:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Re: the radio
      Ronnie was trying to tell you to head for Florida, like he would have done.

      Posted by Donnah on 2005 11 24 at 09:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T Angelina Jolie,representing the U.N. has arrived in Pakistan trailing Brad Pitt after her.
      A relative by marriage of Princess Mary-Brendan Johncock has pleaded not guilty to the rape of a 16 year old in Tasmania.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 11:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hey astonished,did ya notice how many kilometres the Catapult film crew accompanied by blonde bimbo -travelled.Presumably by aircraft to the remote location and then there was the chopper….Wron how much moolah did they slip you for the whirlybird huh?
      Lord Rove TRUSTED you with them choppers.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 24 at 11:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s probably the Pontiac Vibe, all 126hp and five-doors.  The rental agency was being nice and providing extra room for the sheep.

      Posted by Pat Patterson on 2005 11 24 at 11:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Judging by Tim’s mood, he hasn’t opened any of those JPEG’s somebody sent him of wronwright trashing his house.

      Photoshop is your friend…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 11:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Cube-shaped? Zion? Less power than a Democratic floor vote?

      I know Tim thinks he’s in a Pontiac, but could he be driving a Scion?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 11:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Pontiacs of the Elders of Scion?

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2005 11 24 at 12:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Zion? Scion? One of these things? They look like the dorky taxicabs from Total Recall.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2005 11 24 at 01:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim, you want to take care around them jeroboams.  Think of all the trouble Richard Gere got in…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 01:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. Must add wine to that turkey idea. – Posted by Tim B. on 11/24/2005 at 04:50 PM

      I brought the Oz wine. And it’s ALL GONE. – Posted by Tim B. on 11/24 at 06:52 PM

      Gone in two hours flat. Damn those thirsty turkeys.

      Posted by JAFA on 2005 11 24 at 03:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #25

      use vegemite as turkey stuffing……mmmmm

      Posted by vinny on 2005 11 24 at 03:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. True Thanksgiving story:

      I was in London in 1984 for Turkey Day and went to a restaurant with other Yanks for a promised “traditional” meal. It sucked but down the pub afterwards, we saw Angus Young of AC/DC. We raised our pints in salute and he toasted us back.

      It made our holiday.

      I’m thankful for Tim, James, and our Armed Forces. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

      Posted by JDB on 2005 11 24 at 04:02 PM • permalink

 

    1. I brought the Oz wine. And it’s ALL GONE. – Posted by Tim B. on 11/24 at 06:52 PM

      I always figgered Gnat could hold her grape.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 04:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Happy Thanksgiving Tim and James! Hope you don’t hit any more snow driving out of Minnesota.

      Posted by Dr Alice on 2005 11 24 at 04:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Turkey?  piffle.  It’s a sunny 75 here.  This is barbecue weather.

      Posted by Achillea on 2005 11 24 at 05:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. And Happy Thanksgiving to everybody. We all of us have a whole bunch to be thankful for. 

      Amen.

      — Nora

      Posted by The Thin Man Returns on 2005 11 24 at 06:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. There is a Pontiac Sien.

      Posted by Melanie on 2005 11 24 at 06:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think four mentions of a plastic turkey on this thread will quite suffice.

      A plastered turkey, however, is whole other barbie of shrimp, a ‘roo in a different cozzie. (Does that sound Ozzy enough?)

      Posted by ForNow on 2005 11 24 at 06:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #35, 37 – obviously the hippies at Catalyst haven’t read Bjorn Lomborg’s the sceptical environmentalist. Page 124 has some lovely stats and graphs but quasi-religious types have never taken much heed of facts.

      I’m thinking of offering them a $10,000 bet that oil doesn’t run out within 5 years. Do you reckon any of them would be stupid enough to take it?

      Posted by Art Vandelay on 2005 11 24 at 08:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Not being an American, I’m not entirely clear on the history behind this festival, but any excuse to drink and eat sounds good to me.

      Thanky Happsgiving to y’all.

      Posted by TimT on 2005 11 24 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. #44 Wronwright
      How was I to know that barrel belonged to you?  I figured it was Tim’s and we were at his place to party, weren’t we?  There wasn’t any label on it giving a name.  There were some funny-looking wedge shaped marks but I figured they were just the advertizing logo or something.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 11 24 at 08:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey Tim,
      Be really thankful – Liz Jackson is leaving Media Blotch
      The Age – Liz Leaves
      But who goes in next, that is the question.

      Posted by SezaGeoff on 2005 11 24 at 08:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. This has been a Scionist plot from the very start hasn’t it?

      First they took the XXXX. And then they barbequed A Ute. And now it’s the turn of the Pontiacs!

      We’re on to you.

      Posted by geoff on 2005 11 24 at 08:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pontiac Zion?  Heck, You really are asking for it to be car-b-qued…

      Posted by Barrie on 2005 11 24 at 08:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well what other model of car would a member of the great International Neocon Conspiracy drive?

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 11 24 at 08:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. “It has been really good to do a job where the bus driver or the service station attendant says thanks for what you do. It’s about the public desire to have a program that holds the media to account.”
      Bus drivers and service station attendants are paying close attention to Media Watch?
      We thought the audience must be mainly the communards and fellow travellers, but this is a very literal turn up for the books. Your diary entries please, Liz. This assertion needs to be held to account.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 24 at 08:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24- I’ve added my contribution to badgering Barnacle:-
      Take a stand, you luddite fuckstick, and resign from the conservatives and join the greens- they’re more in tune with your infantile and idiotic beliefs. You’re an embarrassment to all Queenslanders- Pat Field did more good in the senate than you’re ever likely to.

      Posted by Habib on 2005 11 24 at 08:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Given La Jackson’s obscene salary (courtesy of taxpayers), I would very much doubt that she is on chatting terms with bus drivers

      Bring on the next object of derision.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 11 24 at 08:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. #72 onya habib

      Posted by KK on 2005 11 24 at 09:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Happy American Holiday Thanksgiving, all!  I’ve just spent the day with my mother in law, and the less said about that the better.

      Tsk, Tim.  Can’t drive in a little snow?  Better fly the rest of the way, then, or else head south.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 24 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. Update: Tim B. has left Minneapolis, well fed and full of pie. (That sounds derogatory – crikey, that idiot’s full of pie – but is not intended as such.) Our brief and mostly fictional account will be posted in podcast form at my site on Friday.

      The previous evening was spent staying up talking until 2 Liter O’Clock; a grand time. Now it’s LA’s turn.

      Posted by Lileks on 2005 11 24 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #65 TimT
      A short history of Thanksgiving, for your enlightenment.

      When our forefathers first arrived in the New World, they soon realized that in a few hundred years their descendents would need a holiday about six weeks before Christmas. The purpose of this holiday was to signal the beginning of an insane, weeks long buying spree by the commoners, that would culminate at Christmas. You see, up here December is the middle of winter, and the economy would stagnate during this time if it didn’t receive a good boost, in the form of wild consumerism.

      So, Thanksgiving is a day set aside to pig out, then rest up for the next day (also a holiday, called Black Friday) when American capitalism gets it’s annual booster shot.

      Eat & buy…it’s what we do best!!

      Posted by rinardman on 2005 11 24 at 10:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. TimT — Cuz we scammed the Injuns and now we feast!  Certainly, nothing else has ever happed in the subsequent 400 odd years in our country or our own lives that we have any business feeling thankful for.

      Because we’re eeeeeevil Americans!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 10:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rinardman —— close your italics tag!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 10:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Didja?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 10:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. COOL!  Looks like we can </i>really<i> waste the format tags!!!!

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2005 11 24 at 11:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry again. Durn internet thingy.

      Posted by rinardman on 2005 11 24 at 11:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Formatting glitch fixed. Preview is your friend!

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 11 24 at 11:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Rinardman: I took away your previous two comments that were your fix attempts.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 11 24 at 11:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. PS: it wasn’t rinardman who screwed up the formatting but someone else from the Great White North who had tried to outdrink an Australian visitor. Fortunately I got home in time, and due to a sinus headache and the subsequent large amounts of Tylenol I’ve been taking I have had no wine!

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 11 24 at 11:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mr. Lileks — But why did you point him north?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, thanks Andrea.

      richard had me contemplating suicide for my supposed transgression.

      Posted by rinardman on 2005 11 24 at 11:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Andrea — Didn’t you explain the “pin it on wronwright” option to Lileks?

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 24 at 11:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yon Thanksgiving adventure reminds me of that grand tale of stalwart Yankee settlers of yore, Drums Along The Mo’ Plonk

      Drive safely Tim, stay on the proper side of the road.  To offset the Gimme Three Steps
      repeats here’s a little traveling music from Tom Waits:

      jack was sittin poker faced with bullets backed with bitches
      neal hunched at the wheel puttin everyone in stitches
      braggin bout this nurse he screwed while drivin through nebraska
      and when she came she honked the horn and neal just barely missed a
      truck and then he asked her if she’d like to come like that to californy
      see a red head in a uniform will always get you horny
      with her hairnet and those white shoes and a name tag and a hat
      she drove like andy granatelli and knew how to fix a flat
      and jack was almost at the bottom of his md 2020 neal was yellin
      out the window tryin to buy some bennies from a lincoln
      full of mexicans whose left rear tire blowed and the sonsobitches
      prit near almost ran us off the road

      well the nurse had spilled the manoshevitz all up and down her dress
      then she lit the map on fire neal just had to guess
      should we try and find a bootleg route or a fillin station open
      the nurse was dumpin out her purse lookin for an envelope and
      jack was out of cigarettes we crossed the yellow line
      the gas pumps looked like tombstones from here
      felt lonelier than a parking lot when the last car pulls away
      and the moonlight dressed the double breasted foothills
      in the mirror weaving outa negligee and a black brassiere
      the mercury was runnin hot and almost out of gas
      just then florence nightingale dropped her drawers and
      stuck her fat ass half way out of the window with a
      wilson pickett tune
      and shouted get a load of this and gave the finger to the moon

      countin one eyed jacks and whistling dixie in the car
      neal was doin least a hundred when we saw a fallin star
      florence wished that neal would hold her stead of chewin
      his cigar jack was noddin out and dreamin he was in a bar
      with charlie parker on the bandstand not a worry in the world
      and a glass of beer in one hand and his arm around a girl
      and neal was singin to the nurse
      underneath a harlem moon
      and somehow you could just tell we’d be in california soon

      Open up that golden gate, California here I come!

      Posted by Carl H on 2005 11 24 at 11:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Fortunately I got home in time, and due to a sinus headache and the subsequent large amounts of Tylenol I’ve been taking I have had no wine!

      No Wine?  Fortunately?  Does not compute!

      Posted by Old Grouch on 2005 11 24 at 11:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. I was under the impression I had closed my italics tag. Preview did not reveal my transgression. Apologies.

      Posted by Lileks on 2005 11 25 at 12:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. rinardman — You need never consider suicide when Rove’s minions are at hand…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 25 at 12:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks, Richard and Rinardman. Edumacation is good for mah brain’s!

      Posted by TimT on 2005 11 25 at 01:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. So now we’re into wishing each other a “happy thanksgiving’, whatever the fuck that is!  And just a while ago I had little pests at the door saying “trick or treat” or some such.. Apparently it has to with something called “Halloween”.  Does the fact that we are loyal allies etc etc really mean that we have to adopt all their silly bloody festivals?

      Posted by ozpat on 2005 11 25 at 01:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. I appreciate the concept of Thanksgiving but leave me out of the Halloween visits – kids have more than enough sweets these days, and it has gone a bit far. Let ‘em have a party if they want to dress up.
      The puzzling bit about Halloween is how it developed into such a spookfest in a nominally christian country – dabbling in the occult is a no-no.

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 25 at 01:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. jackson may be gone from media watch but it wont improve until that cretin mcevoy leaves as well

      Posted by Astonished on 2005 11 25 at 01:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Carl H

      well the nurse had spilled the manoshevitz all up and down her dress

      Love the Tom Wait piece but just have to know….what the hell is manoshevitz…a drink?

      Posted by KevGillett on 2005 11 25 at 01:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Lighten up, ozpat, you gave us Paul Hogan, we gave you Halloween.  Thanksgiving’s just a bonus.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 11 25 at 01:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Whoda thunkit?  For the first time in my life I have given thanks tonight to my friends from OZ (Tim, Andrea, and regular posters).  We have the turkey, the dressing, the mashed potatoes, the green beans, the corn, the rolls, the giblet gravy, the great Aussie wine.  I want to thank you all for making my world more interesting than it would be otherwise.  I am grateful for listening in on you all and laughing when wronwright or john mcenroe, or nora gives a quip.  I am leaving too many out and have had too much Shiraz, but know that you are appreciated, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING to one and all.  I am grateful for you companionshiop.

      Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2005 11 25 at 01:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. KevG, Manoshevitz is a Kosher wine.  It’s also very inexpensive so is popular among the, er… fiscally challenged connoiseurs.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 11 25 at 01:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Steve — Well, it’s no Yago…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 25 at 01:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kathy, Andrea’s not from Oz, but Florida, which is even more bizarre and inexplicable.  I’ve been Down Under, and it’s okay so long as you do not attempt to engage the locals in conversation.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 11 25 at 02:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does the fact that we are loyal allies etc etc really mean that we have to adopt all their silly bloody festivals?

      Why yes…yes it does.

      You will soon be one of us.

      Resistance, is indeed futile.

      The puzzling bit about Halloween is how it developed into such a spookfest in a nominally christian country – dabbling in the occult is a no-no.

      I thought this particular spookfest, was a fairly Euro one, brought to the states from there.

      Oz is as much a product of Europe as the U.S. is.

      Is it true that Aussie kids dont trick or treat?

      Just wondering.

      Posted by Thomas on 2005 11 25 at 02:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Andrea — Didn’t you explain the “pin it on wronwright” option to Lileks?

      What?  I happen to know that Lileks is a most trustworthy person, or, at least as trustworthy as a Dakotan transplanted to Minnesota can be.  (Admittedly not much).

      I don’t trust that jasper though.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 25 at 02:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. ozpat — I blow shit up on Guy Fawkes’ … does that help?

      And hey, I mentioned the Lady Juliana and the Hoors Who Saved Australia last night…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 25 at 02:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #103 yes it’s true – any of the little bastards come round here, i’ll set the dog on them

      Posted by KK on 2005 11 25 at 02:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. #105 lucky lucky lucky – the nanny state has banned the citizens of victoria from blowing up stuff & having bonfires – you have to smuggle in fireworks & let em off far away from the coppers, or let em quickly & run away fast

      Posted by KK on 2005 11 25 at 02:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. # 106

      Thank you for clearing that up for me.

      Run away little ones!!!

      It just aint worth it.

      Posted by Thomas on 2005 11 25 at 02:15 AM • permalink

 

    1. Steve, # 102.  Why not engage these scary, intelligent, whatchyamacallits in conversation?  I can see, after reading their postings, that they are snarky and interesting.  Andrea is from FLORIDA?  Damn.  Regardless, I do know how to spell “companionship” and am grateful for YOUR friendship.  🙂

      Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2005 11 25 at 02:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. 228, Dan

      Actually, in my “youth,” we chucked eggs and otherwise played the “tricks” part on people who failed to answer their doors on Halloween. That is why it’s tricks or treats. Or trickertreat. It’s only in the past 20 years or so that kids stopped doing that. Now they just hack into your computer and destroy your life’s work or take pictures of you in flagrante with a hooker and show them to your wife.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 02:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think Thomas is right.  Most of the American holiday’s are transplanted from or have connections to Europe.

      New Years Eve & New Years Day = well, that’s the same among all nations that use the Jan thru Dec calendar.

      Valentine’s Day = named after St. Valentine, possibly a Pom starter of Hallmark greeting card company

      St. Patricks Day = that has to come from Ireland; I like this holiday, I only need to do one thing, wear green; unfortunately I usually forget

      Easter = universal among Christians

      Memorial Day = I think most European countries have a holiday to pay homage to our fallen soldiers, we picked the last Monday in May because it’s nice weather for a barbie

      July 4th = that’s entirely American, unless the British celebrate it too?

      Labor Day = I’d bet every European country has one of those, to keep the Union members happy

      Columbus Day = that’s probably celebrated just by the Americans, maybe other Western Hemisphere nations, possibly by the Italians too

      Halloween = I believe that came from England

      Thanksgiving = I know Canada has one, but on a different day (they always have to do it a bit different than the nation down south)

      Christmas = that’s a universal holiday by most Christians; interestingly, I saw a blurp in the National Geographic that said it’s also becoming popular with the Japanese, who would have thought?

      There’s also Martin Luther King Day, Flag Day, Armistice Day, Veterans Day, but I’m too lazy to type those.  Actually, that’s a lot of work for me on Thanksgiving night.  But Karl Rove called and told me to do it.  So that’s that.

      I think that’s a bit insensitive.  But he did have a nice holiday conversation with the Mrs. and even my mother-in-law.  Since the latter is rather evil, they seem to hit off well.  They’re also ragging on me about why didn’t I invite Karl for Thanksgiving Dinner.  I think Karl was expecting an invite too.  Well too bad.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 25 at 02:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. I think the car Tim is thinking of is the Zoin. The Pontiac Zoin. It’s not selling well, for some reason. No one can put their finger on it.

      They were also going to go with a revamp of the Firebird. They were going to call it the Firebrid. They cancelled before any orders were sent out. Someone said there was something wrong with that one as well, but no one could figure what it was.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 02:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. #94 Ozpat:  Hell no, you don’t need to adopt our party excuses! Yes, we are the “bestest” allies, but shit, that doesn’t mean you have to put on your witch costume on October 31st.  We respect you more than that, friend.

      I would point out, however, the positives of our Thanksgiving:
      1. No cards
      2. No presents, only presence.
      3. Eat as much as is humanly possible.
      4. Be nice to each other.
      5. Be polite to otherwise nutty reltives.
      6. And again, eat.

      It doesn’t suck!

      Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2005 11 25 at 02:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. Columbus Day = that’s probably celebrated just by the Americans, maybe other Western Hemisphere nations, possibly by the Italians too

      I think Columbus Day has been officialy banned in the U.S.

      Something about one power over-taking another and how that just isnt right and all.

      We really shouldnt be discussing this though.

      People may be monitoring our exchange.

      eh hemm…Columbus was a prick!

      Oh yeah, you heard me right…one bad man that Christopher guy.

      Yep.

      Posted by Thomas on 2005 11 25 at 02:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. You forgot that you are expected to watch sports on TV, Kathy.

      Posted by MikeTheLibrarian on 2005 11 25 at 02:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mike #115,

      I cook (except the dressing–that is HIS), the hubbie whatches sports and gives me the quarterly updates.  It works.

      Posted by Kathy from Austin on 2005 11 25 at 02:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. wronwright

      I think Columbus Day is celebrated most religiously by the American Indian tribes. They are very excited about Columbus Day which they mark by burning huge effigies of the loveable Genoan while simultaneously sacrificing an Italian, usually one who has been trapped, legally, in New York, Utah, or Southeast Arizona. If they cannot actually trap one themselves, they can be purchased frozen from various Internet sources. They are flash frozen and shipped via Federal Express in time for the “Big Day.” Each family is give a small piece of the Italian which they put on their barbecues next to the bubbling jackrabbit livers and smoked mule testicles.

      I imagine the custom could be imported into Australia where the aborigines could chase down a Pom and eat him. If a Pom isn’t available, a Dutchman will do.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 02:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. The last time some kids knocked on my door dressed as witches and asking for treats I gave them all a piece of fruit each. Here’s an apple for you and a banana for you and would you like the orange or the pear?

      That was 1997. The little bludgers have never been back.

      Posted by geoff on 2005 11 25 at 03:03 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s no wonder muslims hate you Americanos!
      You’ve got this thanksgiving thingy with the eating and drinking with your family and being happy, and they’ve got ramadan.

      Posted by Lucky Nutsacks on 2005 11 25 at 04:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. Looks like I missed the boot on this one, so Happy Post-Thanksgiving for our septic pals.
      🙂

      I raise my vidka in salute.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 11 25 at 05:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kathy, the problem with engaging Aussies in conversation is, the more information they try to impart, the less you will receive.  Do not be fooled by their typing – as Twain remarked about foreigners, they spell better than they pronounce.

      I once thought I had a good handle on cricket, having spent an afternoon in Singapore watching a game – er, match.  A while later, I made the mistake of asking an Aussie to explain the game.  When he was finished, so was I.  I knew less than when we started, not only about cricket, but about everything.

      You’d be better off asking a Floridan about cricket.  Care to give it a try, Andrea?

      Incidentally, by cricket I mean the game, not the insect.  Insect type crickets in Oz are probably toxic.  Hell, I think sheep in Oz are poisonous.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2005 11 25 at 05:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. The crickets are safe. And most of the sheep are fine. Unless of course you accidentally get between a mother sheep and her lamb.

      Then she will tear your throat out eat your tongue and lips and ask questions later.

      Posted by geoff on 2005 11 25 at 06:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Then there’s New Zealand, where, they say, men are men and sheep are nervous.
      (sorry, old joke about NZ cheps.)

      Posted by blogstrop on 2005 11 25 at 07:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kathy it’s nice to know you and thanks for your salutations…

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 25 at 07:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. o/t ABC at noon radio Prof James Viscatori?,an expert on terrorism at Oxford Uni was interviewed.
      He said that Australian Terror Laws may NOT be STRONG enough,especially against “home grown terrorists.”

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 25 at 07:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. O.t sbs discovers the clitoral orgasm via mechanical means and the g spot…Bingo -almost as guaranteed an audience as the soccer…

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 25 at 10:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. As noted, Manishewitz is a ‘poplarly priced’ and potent kosher wine.  During the ‘50s, retail wine selection over here was pretty limited (Thanks again for all the plonk, OZ!  Shiraz nice of yez.) Of course, Jack Kerouac and Neal Cassidy weren’t too picky about their drink of choice while On The Road.

      http://www.manischewitzwine.com/

      Posted by Carl H on 2005 11 25 at 10:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Another interesting wine site

      http://www.bumwine.com/

      Not that I’d know anything about it, of course.  I seldom have EXPENSIVE WINE with lunch.

      Posted by Carl H on 2005 11 25 at 11:12 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh no!

      Open tag noted

      Posted by Carl H on 2005 11 25 at 11:16 AM • permalink

 

    1. Fixed. Guys, watch the tags. Whatever the Expression Engine people did to the software, this upgrade no longer seems to guard against broken tags on comments.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2005 11 25 at 11:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. The funniest foreign response to a Halloween request, ever.

      Posted by JAFA on 2005 11 25 at 12:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Labor Day came about, I think, because we Americans wanted to celebrate work by taking a day off, and celebrating May Day would have made the Communists happy too.

      Posted by John Nowak on 2005 11 25 at 01:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. Bah!  Labor Day was an expression of contempt by the Robber Barons of the Military-Industrial Complex, who showed their scorn for the workers by getting them drunk and killing them in large numbers on the highways!

      OK, that’s that last time I fall asleep reading A People’s History of the United States

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 25 at 01:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m disappointed that no one mentioned December 19, National Flashlight Day.  Oh sure, all the elite holidays get food and drink, but do the red-headed stepchildren of holidays get a mention?  Nooooo.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 25 at 02:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. Oops, my bad.  National Flashlight Day is December 21.  The Flashlight Fairy won’t leave any batteries in my stocking this year!

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 25 at 02:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. That would be, um, Torch Day for you Aussies and Brits.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 25 at 02:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. So now we’re into wishing each other a “happy thanksgiving’, whatever the fuck that is! … Does the fact that we are loyal allies etc etc really mean that we have to adopt all their silly bloody festivals?

      Dude – you eat shitloads of turkey, mashed potatoes, corn, cranberry sauce, pork pie, stuffing, etc etc, followed by pie, pie, and some pie with pie on top. Then you unbutton your pants, stretch out on a recliner, and fall asleep to a football game.

      As a male entering his Official Middle-Aged Crabby Bastard stage of life, I can honestly say that it’s the only holiday that isn’t a goddamn pain in the ass. In fact, it’s glorious. You MUST adopt it.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 25 at 02:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pontiac “Zion”?  Do you need any more proof that the Jews are running everything??

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2005 11 25 at 03:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Must back Dave S up on this. Thanksgiving is really a cool holiday. Yesterday I ate some of the best turkey and trimmings ever. And I got to watch Denver beat Dallas in overtime. Food and football? What could possibly go wrong with that?

      Well, this: the table was loaded with liberals who get all their info from NPR and The Daily Show. They think Jon Stewart is God. Stayed on the low-low during Bush-bashing time and then bashed “Deadwood.” That was fun ‘cause they all love it.

      Aussies may find aspects of the above paragraph impenetrable. Didn’t mean to do that.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 03:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. ekw, as a Broncos fan I have to agree with your assessment of the outcome of the game.

      For our Aussie friends: Thanksgiving is a Harvest Celebration Feast. I know what you’re thinking “What the hell? It’s a month before summer even starts.” Strange as it may seem the tilt of the Earth creates the seasons, and when the northern hemisphere is in Fall, the southern is in Spring. So our harvest rituals occur during your naked first day of warm weather rituals.

      Posted by Some0Seppo on 2005 11 25 at 04:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Happy Thanksgiving Spleensvillians.

      …Gotta love a holiday that expands the sheer mass of happy Americans on the planet by at least 10%.

      America pied, Birds died…Vegans cried.

      Uuurp!

      Posted by monkeyfan on 2005 11 25 at 04:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, this: the table was loaded with liberals who get all their info from NPR and The Daily Show. They think Jon Stewart is God. Stayed on the low-low during Bush-bashing time …

      They talked politics at the Thanksgiving table? Ye gods. I’m hardly a master of etiquette, but I know better than that.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 25 at 04:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. How’s the smartarse & hooker situation out west?

      Posted by Tony.T.Teacher on 2005 11 25 at 05:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #123 Blogstrop;
      That’s curious, here in the US we have the same joke about Montana.

      Posted by Michael Lonie on 2005 11 25 at 05:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. OK, that’s that last time I fall asleep reading A People’s History of the United States…

      While I haven’t read the book, falling asleep might be safer than remaining awake and reading more of it.

      Posted by John Nowak on 2005 11 25 at 07:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Could it have been a yellow Scion , the ones shaped like a toaster , except a toaster is more aerodynamic.

      I only asked because I seen one zip past me on I94 in Wisconsin. If I would have known, I would have given you a blast of the horn on my Peterbilt.

      Careful for all those nutcases in their 4 wheelers on Sunday mate. They know not what they do.

      Posted by Quidnunc Savant on 2005 11 25 at 08:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s probably the Pontiac Vibe, all 126hp and five-doors.  The rental agency was being nice and providing extra room for the sheep.

      As soon as you mentioned all-wheel-drive on the Lileks podcast, I knew that’s what it had to be.  You can get a 180hp engine, but not with AWD, for some reason.  (I’d say it’s another unfathomable GM thing, except that the same applies to the Vibe’s Toyota cousin, the Matrix.)

      Now, when are you coming to Newfoundland, dagnabbit?

      Posted by Damian P. on 2005 11 25 at 08:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Football!!  You mean that very strange ritual in which blokes in medieval armour and motor bike helmets bump into one another for a few seconds in between hours of ads (ie commercials, for you septics).
      If you want the world’s GREATEST game, watch Aussie Rules – now THAT is fuckin’ FOOTBALL!!  And guess what – no impenetrable armour is worn.
      By the way, what the hell is a “dude”?  You blokes seem to call everyone that.

      Posted by ozpat on 2005 11 25 at 09:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ozpat

      I agree that the footy is one of the greatest games on earth. As a lover of American football, however, I do have to say that both these games can be enjoyed by the true football lover. When I visit my mate in Brisbane I try to do so during the AFL season so we can watch Australian Rules. Then, once a week there is a showing of an American football game. My mate loves the NFL and the AFL (not to mention League and Union). Why limit your enjoyment?

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 09:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmm, Minnesota.  Well, fiddley-dee-dee, y’all haven’t had Thanksgiving dinner ‘til you come down South.

      Shrimp or Crawfish stuffed turkey or chickens, Turkey, Honey Ham, Oyster dressing,oysters bienville, sweet potatoes(fixed several ways),green bean casserole, cornbread dressing, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, sweet potato pie, a la mode if you so desire, divinity, etc… Throw in a chocolate decadence or death by chocolate cake.
      I have left too much out and am famished from the endeavor…must have left-overs….

      Next trip….perhaps N.O. will have collected herself by then….

      Hope all had enough, and plenty to share…Thanks for the yuks!

      Posted by duh on 2005 11 25 at 09:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ve heard of a potato cake, (Victoria is full of them), but I have never heard of a potato PIE!

      Sounds revolting.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2005 11 25 at 10:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. ekw, I have watched and tried to get into it but, quite apart from its general wierdness as a game, the fact that they seem to play only for a few furious seconds before the next round of ads comes on drives me berko.  And how many bloody players are there? – there seem to be thousands, and they are constantly running on and off after a few seconds play.
      And that crazy armour plating they wear makes them all look like aliens.
      Sorry – I’ve tried, but I just don’t get it.
      The only thing I’d say is that it is slightly more interesting than soccer (zzzzz), where they score once a year, and roll around in agony when their nail polish is smudged.

      Posted by ozpat on 2005 11 25 at 10:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sweet potato pie?! Oh, man—those are great. It’s a lot like pumpkin pie, and access to pumpkin pie is considered a valid motive for homicide in at least eight states.

      Posted by John Nowak on 2005 11 25 at 10:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. duh, we had many of the delicacies that you mentioned.  My favorite is oyster dressing and something you did not mention, scalloped oysters.  It’s made with copious amounts of cream and two half pints of oysters at $9 a crack.  It’s damn expensive but it’s damn good.

      The green bean casserole with fried onion rings topping was scrumptuous.  The sour cream and potatoes casserole was my second favorite.  (We call it Jills Potatoes because my mother-in-law’s friend, Jill, invented the recipe).  The turkey sucked but my wife blamed the oven.  Since I had scalloped oysters, I didn’t care.

      The Broncos Cowboys game was great.  The only downsides were my family’s insistence I play Trivial Pursuit (I despise the game) and my wife having bought Coors Light beer in plastic bottles.  Yech.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 25 at 10:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. #151

      It’s delicious, I promise you. As they say out there in God’s Country, it’s scrumptious.

      Ozpat

      I know how you feel. And you’re right, there are far too many adverts during football games. It does disturb the ‘jerky’ momentum the game possesses. I know a lot of people not raised with the game don’t like the stop and go nature of the playmaking. I guess it takes a lot of familiarity with what’s going on. There are so many things happening, even during those few seconds that the play takes. Most of the Aussies I know who watch usually have either seen some games in America, or they know some Americans and watch with them, that way they get filled in on a lot of intricacies, the strategies, the level of skill at each position, each player’s responsibility on both offense and defense, etc., which add to the pleasure of taking in a game.

      Now, add to that the slamming back of hundreds of beers and the murdering of thousands of bags of jalapeno chips while making damn sure the women keep the food and brew coming continuously. Of course it goes without saying that the females will also be cleaning up thoroughly – and unobtrusively – after us. Yes siree bob, it is on those hallowed Sunday afternoons in fall and winter that the American male comes into his true, natural, God-given power and dominance over the weaker sex!

      Um…not that I’m worried at all because I’m not, but…could someone just tiptoe over and shut the door? Shhhhhhhh shhhh…keep it down, willya? Don’t want to wake the wi, erm, the baby.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 11:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sweet potato pie with chopped pecan topping.  Or walnuts, if you’re not a purist.
      And a dab of whipped cream.

      Yumyum

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2005 11 25 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. RebeccaH

      We had green beans with sweetened pecans, basically pecans sugared and lightly roasted. They were fantastic. I’m gonna make some fresh cranberry sauce tomorrow and I’m putting a bit of fresh tangerine in. Oh, and before I forget, Rebecca, on Sunday I’m having some mates in so I’d appreciated it if you’d just keep the beer and chips coming and not try and start up any conversations or communications of any kind except with me. The halter top, short shorts, and heels are fine, just no yapping. You may watch the small black and white set in the bedroom whenever we don’t need you to fetch something for us. We’re not completely ungenerous: You may call Ck if you need any help. But no long chats, OK? You might not hear me yell for more beer. Thanks, The M’ngm’nt.

      Posted by ekw on 2005 11 25 at 11:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. #151 – They’re not real potatoes, Pedro, they’re yams—which are sickeningly sweet mushy orange abominations that are frequently mashed up and concealed under a layer of half-melted marshmallows to lure in the unwary.

      Posted by Achillea on 2005 11 26 at 12:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ozpat — You could try Arena Football.  Much faster paced.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2005 11 26 at 01:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. Tim, you still in MPLS? I’m back from vacation, call me on my cell # if you’re headed back toward Chicago and have time for a garage tour.

      Posted by iowahawk on 2005 11 26 at 01:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. mmmmmmm duh STOP.It ain’t fair,it ain’t reasonable to tempt us rednecks with all them fancy fixins…WHY a body who lives on vegemite sandwiches could allow as how the South is almost as salubrious as a land DOWN UNDER. Well -the South IS down under.

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 26 at 03:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does photographer Jim look a touch like a refugee from the cast of “The Shining” or have I been on the sauce for too long again?

      Posted by crash on 2005 11 26 at 03:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. Wron, Jills Potatoes sound great. Can I please have the recipe? I promise I won’t share it with anyone other than my 4000 closest friends on this blog.

      (I’m always on the lookout for good new recipes. I’ve got about 30 cookbooks at the moment and need people to cook for. 1 and a half just aren’t enough. Especially when one is under 5 and typically fussy. I think I need to buy more friends.)

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2005 11 26 at 05:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. George Will had one of the best criticisms of American football that I’ve ever seen:

      “It combines the two worst features of modern American life – violence, and committee meetings.”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2005 11 26 at 10:02 AM • permalink

 

    1. Goerge Will is a seamhead. Which means he thinks there’s something poetic to baseball instead of just hits, pitches, and runs. And he’s jealous that football is now “America’s pasttime”.

      Posted by Some0Seppo on 2005 11 26 at 11:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. Achillea,

      You refer to yam casserole, an entirely different animal.  The other description more accurately depict that culinary delight…especially the caramelized pecan topping, mmmmmmm.  Yam casserole is, well, like institutional food, the Thanksgiving version of the fruitcake….like that unwanted gift you get and attempt to foist on other unwary holiday visitors…

      Scalloped oysters??? Sounds yummy.  Scalloped potatoes is a favorite of mine, w/o sweet potatoes of course.

      I omitted the cranberry sauce because the canned variety is like the yam casserole.  Anybody have any great cranberry relish/sauce recipes?

      During the last upheaval, one of the many things that I lost was my library, including my 20 or so cook books along w/ handwritten, clipped, etc.. recipes…Unfortunately didn’t commit them to memory, not that I’d be able to retrieve them know anyway, but I might have some starting point to improvise something tasty.

      crash, you give yourself away, no self-respecting redneck would use the word salubrious, much less know what it meant…

      Still, there is always the banquet at Holiday Inn, Picadilly, or the Golden Corral for those culinarily-impaired souls who want a satisfying Thanksgiving repast.

      Eat ‘til you drop.  I actually ventured out to shop on Black Friday, for the first time in over a decade(maybe two)…made it to Harbor Freight!  Got their early!  It is like the Wal-mart of tools.

      Posted by duh on 2005 11 26 at 11:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Sorry for my lack of editing….pardon me.

      Posted by duh on 2005 11 26 at 11:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. arbed,

      I’ll try to pry it from my mother-in-law.  If she refuses, I might need to go to Jill for it.  Of course, that might mean me calling every freaking Jill in the telephone book unless I can trick my mother-in-law in divulging her name.  But tricking mother-in-laws is not exactly an easy thing around here.  They’re evil and cunning beyond belief.  (Did I mention that mine absolutely loves Karl Rove?  They talk on the phone when Karl calls here and he regales her with his latest Machiavellian plans.  And she giggles like she’s back in high school.  Yech.  Oh God, please don’t let those two hook up.  They could combine their evil powers in a synergistic manner to make my life unbearable.  More than McEnroe has even.  Which is saying a lot).

      Does anyone else besides Tim have Iowahawk’s cell phone #?  I don’t.  Not that I would want to call Iowahawk (curls fingers) for any reason.  It just makes me wonder whether there is another list of telephone numbers that Karl didn’t give to me.

      On the other hand, that would be just hunky dory with me.  I hate having to call neocons for emergencies and waking them to explain the reason.  I don’t need any more abuse. I have my mother-in-law for that.

      Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 26 at 12:04 PM • permalink

 

  1. My mother-in-law helped my wife with the Thanksgiving Dinner.  Which is a very good thing indeed since my wife can’t even make garlic bread without burning it.  (It comes frozen in a wrapper, how can anyone screw that up?).  My MIL lives with me (~sigh~) since Karl recently opined that it would be nice (the words were “wronwright, I would consider it a very nice gesture on your part to invite your dear and lovely wife’s mother to reside in your rather smallish abode”—oooo, they still bring chills to my spine) for him when he comes visiting me.

    Anyway, my most evil MIL has an extensive collection of cookbooks, some with Amish recipes.  This year she made my third favorite dish, cranberry jello relish, that includes diced pecans.  It’s great.

    Karl loved it.  Yes, Karl came.  Dang if I know why.  I didn’t invite him.  I don’t even live in Minneapolis.

    I bet MIL did.  Oh please God, don’t let Lord Rove invite the evil Battle Ax into the Neocon Cabal.  I mean there is a point in which someone is TOO evil.  That would certainly be Mrs. MIL from Hell.

    Posted by wronwright on 2005 11 26 at 12:22 PM •