KING TILTER

Australian actor Brendan Cowell opposes “the Bush pillage and profit machine” and … oh, to hell with this. Just look at the guy:

image

Posted by Tim B. on 12/31/2007 at 11:01 AM
    1. It looks like he’s just received a violent shove from behind.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 31 at 11:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. I guess he also opposes “the Bush spelling machine,” too. What the hell is that byline of his? “YEAR AHAED, Brendan Cowell”

      Heh, as they say.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 31 at 11:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. #1 Bingley: I was going to say that he looked as if he had just been slapped – by, say, Laura Bush.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 11:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. It looks like he’s just accepted a violent shove in the behind.

      Posted by JAFA on 2007 12 31 at 11:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oh, Happy New Year, Tim! How’s 2008 Down Under?

      Are you celebrating by having the Australian National Dish: Tooloomba Pasta? My Bride and I almost ordered it in your honor when we were at the Outback Steakhouse the other night.

      Almost.

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 31 at 11:09 AM • permalink

 

    1. Never heard of him.

      Couldn’t give a fuck what he thinks.

      Why the hell does The Australian debase itself by publishing shit like that?

      Posted by murph on 2007 12 31 at 11:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. poseur

      Posted by missred on 2007 12 31 at 11:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. Is he by any chance an ABC teat sucker?

      Posted by Rob Read on 2007 12 31 at 11:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. Mr. Cowell appears to be pissed off that people won’t see his movies.

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 31 at 11:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. But murph, look at the Dude’s ‘tude!

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 31 at 11:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. In any event, he’s not really looking ahead, he’s looking to the side to see how he’s doing relative to the other twits who are all in a neck and neck race to the finish line of the 2007 International Stupid Race. It’ll probably be another photo finish.

      From his article: “It [i.e., the Labor victory] was an all-night hugging festival. Hugs made of gays and lesbians, Aborigines, artists, hippies, alcoholics, painters, architects, Croatian postmen, the guy from Oporto chicken, IT specialists, housewives, Samoan bouncers and more. Hugging.”

      Sounds more like a time for hanging on to your wallet and dosing yourself with penicillin. The article practically fisks itself; every line is a fat buttock of smug nincompoopery sitting on its own individual whoopee cushion.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 11:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. LOL!

      Paco is sounding especially P.J. O’Rourke-ish this morning. Bravo!

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2007 12 31 at 11:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. “I believe Australians are afraid to peer inside themselves for fear of what they will see,” Brendan Cowell says.

      I believe that peering inside Mr. Cowell would reveal a stone-hard liver the size of Texas.  And from his picture, he appears to be suffering limp neck syndrome, relative to too much elbow bending.

      He gushes about the “gays and lesbians, Aborigines, artists, hippies, alcoholics, painters, architects, Croatian postmen, the guy from Oporto chicken, IT specialists, housewives, Samoan bouncers and more” change in Australia and then clatters on about his career and peevishly complains that no one is going to see his movies.  What a typical, self-serving, self-absorbed lefty twit.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2007 12 31 at 11:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. It was an all-night hugging festival.

      Hugs made of gays and lesbians, Aborigines, artists, hippies, alcoholics, painters, architects, Croatian postmen, the guy from Oporto chicken, IT specialists, housewives, Samoan bouncers and more.

      But apparently not hugs made of right-wing neocon whiteys. *scoff* That would be just too much diversity.

      Posted by WonderWoman on 2007 12 31 at 11:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can’t resist this one: “I have a feature film out in February called Ten Empty, which I co-wrote with my friend actor-director Anthony Hayes.” So, a film about the cranial interiors of himself and nine other guys just like him. A “decadope” is the correct mathematical term, I believe.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 11:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. “decadope”

      Brilliant!

      Posted by Mr. Bingley on 2007 12 31 at 11:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. Can we all use the one bath, then pour the water on the plants? Yes we can. But will we?

      Wait . . . is Brenda suggesting that people in the same household share the bath water and then bail it out to water their plants? You think he does this?

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 31 at 11:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. Throw out the baby.  Drink the bathwater.

      Posted by Mystery Meat on 2007 12 31 at 12:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. I have posted this before, but I’ll repeat.

      I just think that about three years from now, when Bush is long gone, and ALL of this kind of stuff said today is STILL AROUND (because I others will hapily make sure of it), it will make for an utterly fascinating sociological phenomena.

      Because all the emotion will have drained from the extremely emotional question of “Does George Bush deserve to exist?” We all know Brad Cowlan’s answer…( I’m sorry… Brenden Cowlan… Cowpie… Cowell… who the F is this guy again?)

      But three years from now, all this crap will be drained of emotion and be forced to stand up on it’s own two feet of, “was it rational, well-thought, based on ideas and philosphy, the realm of the intelligent, or based entirely on personality, the realm of People Magazine readers? And, was it true??…”

      And it will be re-visited, make no mistake. I’m looking forward to it.

      See you there, Brandon. (Brendan… whatever.)

      Posted by Andrew X on 2007 12 31 at 12:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. For those who were, until now, eking out a barely human life in ignorance of this great thespian, some background.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 12:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Decadope

      Decaheadwrong also works.

      If you want to call him two-faced then you can also use-doh!decaheadwrong.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 31 at 12:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. (Sidenote: For those brave few of you who may be new and wondering about the “tilt” in the article title, see here.)

      Posted by Apostic on 2007 12 31 at 01:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Close analysis reveals that this thespian’s tilt-genius comes from utilizing all three axes at once: side-to-side, fore-and-aft, and a very special twist about the vertical axis which, taken all together, may require chiropractic adjustment some day.

      Thought you’d want to know.

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2007 12 31 at 01:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmm. Says here that the side head-tilt is used “to show coyness, as in courtship; … to strike a submissive pose”.

      Make of that what you will.

      It also says it may be used “to show friendliness and foster rapport”, but this poor clown doesn’t seem like he’s trying to look friendly.

      Posted by Don’t Bogart that Midget, Comrade! on 2007 12 31 at 01:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. 23. …all three axes at once: side-to-side, fore-and-aft, and a very special twist about the vertical axis…

      Roll, pitch, and yaw-at-the-jaw?

      Posted by Apostic on 2007 12 31 at 01:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. Just a minute here.  A point of order, if you please.  (From the Wiki supplied by paco)

      He doesn’t like the Dubya profit machine but he does……….commercials!

      Posted by yojimbo on 2007 12 31 at 01:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yep, he doesn’t like the “profit machine” but he does like being subsidized.

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 31 at 01:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Anyone know which puppet he was in Team America[/?]?  Surely he’s a standing member of the Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.)?

      Posted by Larry on 2007 12 31 at 02:09 PM • permalink


    1. Close ital, my bad.

      Posted by Larry on 2007 12 31 at 02:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ummm… Who?

      Posted by mojo on 2007 12 31 at 02:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Preview is my friend, especially with a head full of cough syrup today.

      Posted by Larry on 2007 12 31 at 02:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Has anyone mentioned that this guy is a sissy boy, piece of shit?

      Posted by El Cid on 2007 12 31 at 02:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. He’s a lot older than he looks. Scroll down a little and click on the first video link to the 1910 version of Frankenstein. About 2 minutes and 26 seconds into the film, you’ll see Cowell in an uncredited role (he’ll be the scrawny, unanimated character on the left of the screen).

      BTW, this is via The Scribbler’s Pen, a truly excellent blog with all kinds of good things. For example, follow the “Read More” link on this one.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 03:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. I like the Frown of Wisdom

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 31 at 03:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Maybe he’s been struck by a handbag.

      Happy News Year Antipodeans.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2007 12 31 at 03:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. You know your mama warned you your face could get stuck like that…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2007 12 31 at 03:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. For locals Cowell is the “They wouldn’t know by the look of ‘em” guy in the old 4&20 pie ads.  He’s made a career of doing mock-tradesman shtick ever since.  He played one on the lifestyle program parody “Life Support” as Todd.  He actually does that one character well.

      It happens that I watched “Noise” on Saturday night.  I think it’s his first feature starring role and despite slipping into the occasional Toddisms he was very good, and I thought the film itself was too.

      None of that makes his political ideas carry any weight of course.  He’d be as dim as any other F.A.G. member.

      Posted by Craig Mc on 2007 12 31 at 03:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #38 Don’t encourage it…it might breed

      Posted by Rod C on 2007 12 31 at 04:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think he’s looking in a mirror:

      “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well, I’m the only one here… Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Oh, yeah?”

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 12 31 at 04:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #27 Yep, he doesn’t like the “profit machine” but he does like being subsidized.

      Indeed. That’s probably why he is planning to move to the U.S. now that he’s girlfriend has struck a bit of gold.

      Apologies Paco, he’ll be leeching on your shores soon.

      Posted by saint on 2007 12 31 at 04:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. auugh typos…but I never claimed to have gotten sleep last night

      Posted by saint on 2007 12 31 at 04:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. I think that picture is the dictionary illustration for Fuckin’ tool.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2007 12 31 at 04:31 PM • permalink

 

    1. When he hits LA, he should take that attitude downtown. I’d be interested to see who pops him first, the Crips or the MS13…

      Posted by mojo on 2007 12 31 at 04:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well, you’ve obviously cropped the picture. He’s on his knees in the original, so its not really such an awkward head position in that case, in fact its perfectly logical considering his next move, after opening his mouth widely.

      Posted by docweasel on 2007 12 31 at 04:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. Can we all use the one bath, then pour the water on the plants? Yes we can. But will we?

      Yes we can all use the one “bath”.

      It’s called a spa.

      Kids are useful for fetching drinks when you are in the spa.  You should always spa with the kids.

      Posted by mr creosote on 2007 12 31 at 04:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #40: Apologies Paco, he’ll be leeching on your shores soon.

      We’ll be ready for him.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 04:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. Didn’t he star in that stupid “Love My Way” show where they iced the only likable character after the first eight episodes?

      Posted by Ash_ on 2007 12 31 at 05:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Am I the only one who can see Brenda with another 50 lbs, and minus the comb over, as the star of The David Hicks Story, coming to your theater soon?

      Posted by Redd on 2007 12 31 at 05:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11 paco:

      You mean the Upper Class Twit of the Year? (YouTube link)

      Posted by Vexorg on 2007 12 31 at 06:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. There is nothing worse than travelling overseas and meeting people who identify your countrymen as those that throw children back, ostracise their indigenous people and who organise mass racist riots

      ….and being too ignorant and lazy oneself to correct these erroneous perceptions.

      Posted by PeterTB on 2007 12 31 at 06:10 PM • permalink

 

    1. I know Wikipedia is never wrong about anything, but can this plonker with a pornstar mo’ and crumbling jowls really be “in a relationship” with the fragrant Rose Byrne?

      Posted by cuckoo on 2007 12 31 at 06:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’M not a huge fan of racism, fear or hatred.
      So how does that work, Brendan?
      You don’t mind the occasional bit of racism, fear or hatred, but you wouldn’t specifically plan your holidays around engaging in some?

      Posted by lotocoti on 2007 12 31 at 06:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #46 Heh. Title of his next film?

      Cape Fear: Uncut
      Fear redivivus.
      Encopresis

      BTW just spent a pleasant hour surfing off the links you gave above. Thanks.

      Posted by saint on 2007 12 31 at 06:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. What an odd photo. Doesn’t he know it’s bad form to look anywhere but straight ahead when standing at the urinal? Sends the wrong signal.

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 12 31 at 06:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. That’s one of the angriest tilts I have ever seen.

      What happened to the smug, condescending lefty half-smile that usually accompanies such tilts?

      Posted by Skip on 2007 12 31 at 06:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. “the Bush pillage and profit machine” as opposed to what? The Clinton socialist collective?
      Idiot.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 31 at 07:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. #54: What an odd photo. Doesn’t he know it’s bad form to look anywhere but straight ahead when standing at the urinal? Sends the wrong signal.

      “Hey, man, guess what? You’re pissing on your shoes!”

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 07:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. The most uncomfortable-looking head tilt every.

      Posted by Apple77 on 2007 12 31 at 07:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Or, as Hamlet concludes: “The rest is silence.”

      I’ll take all the silence Brendan has to offer.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 31 at 07:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. #37, I enjoyed Life Support a lot, and considering that it’s stock in trade was taking the piss out of inner city luvvies I had assumed the muppet speaking the lines might have learnt a thing or two.

      Posted by jpaulg on 2007 12 31 at 07:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. I saw the article on the plane yesterday. Says everything about inner-city SMH readers if anything. That face, que facia!

      Posted by Nic on 2007 12 31 at 07:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. OT
      Not a Happy New Year for a Marine visiting Chicago.Cheers

      Posted by J.M. Heinrichs on 2007 12 31 at 07:57 PM • permalink

 

    1. #62: Ok, I’m off to mass. When I get back, I want to hear that that bum has been disbarred.

      Posted by paco on 2007 12 31 at 08:07 PM • permalink

 

    1. I have no comment to make but please register my contempt for intellectual minnow and only vaguely talented Brendan Cowell.

      Posted by Jack Lacton on 2007 12 31 at 08:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. Actually, I cried and found myself on King Street in Sydney’s inner-western suburb of Newtown, hugging people.

      Jumped up wanker thespian.

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 31 at 08:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Brenden Cowell? Never heard of him. Is he another ‘performer’ who likes to spout sage thoughts on everything, to people who really don’t give a crap for his or other ‘performers’ words of ‘wisdom.’ Less than hundred years ago, with the exception of professional actors, these people were relegated to court jesters or ‘circus folk.’

      Posted by BJM on 2007 12 31 at 08:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. 66 – concentrating on their juggling cut the yap time to zero, too.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2007 12 31 at 08:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Actually, I cried and found myself on King Street in Sydney’s inner-western suburb of Newtown, hugging people.

      Kae: Jumped up wanker thespian.

      Bravo. I think that’s a succinct analysis of what is wrong in that article. Happy New Year, Kae.

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 12 31 at 09:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Hey, man, guess what? You’re pissing on your shoes!”

      Paco – reminds me of John Wayne’s advice to a young Michael Caine. He said, “Never wear suede boots.”

      Caine: “Why?”

      Wayne: “Because you’ll be standing in a toilet somewhere and the guy next to you will say, ‘Hey! You’re John Wayne, ain’tcha?” and he’ll piss right across the top of ‘em. You can never get that stuff out.”

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 12 31 at 09:15 PM • permalink

 

    1. I don’t know. I’m thinkin’… that piggy little face, the frowny little beady eyes, the chubby jowls, the bad hair cut…

      This guy is angling to be the next Russell Crowe!

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 12 31 at 09:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Isn’t this the guy they used on that old Reach Toothbrush ad?

      Posted by Dminor on 2007 12 31 at 09:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. Shit, this guy’s an Australian (so am I). What a fucking embarrasment. Even if I was labor supporter I’d be hiding away from tha rantings of this idiot.

      Kevin Rudd has made a cracking start, eh Brendan, Brenda whatever your name is…Signed Kyoto but couldn’t commit to any targets until a report comes out 6 months from now Wow!! impressive and indigenous issues (oh supporting Howard’s intervention in the NT communities) Yep a cracking start!!

      An actor roaming around Newtown giving out hugs…how unusual..

      Pardon me..who’s this dickhead again and what’s he done???. I could google but why waste the time.

      Posted by mindfree on 2007 12 31 at 09:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ditto, Murph’s comments at #6.

      I wouldn’t have batted an eyelid if that shit had been published in the Age, just par for the course, but the Australian?

      That photo must have been taken before he went into intensive care after trying to hug Samoan bouncers, indigenes, Croatians, chicken men, and other denizens of the concrete jungle where he lives.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2007 12 31 at 09:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Aaaaaah actors. Where would we be without their insightful social and political commentary? Want to throw the lead line over the side and sound their depth? Remove all scripts. That’s the way to get a revealing perfomance.

      Posted by Penguin on 2007 12 31 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Pedro, Murph

      I think the copy boy must be new and this shit unfortunately ended up in The Australian by mistake. Andrew Jaspan (Age editor) must be screaming at this atrocious mistake.

      Posted by mindfree on 2007 12 31 at 09:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. I grew up in Newtown – it was a very different place then to what it has become.
      I can guarantee you that if he’d tried that huggy huggy bullshit in the Newtown I knew as a boy he would have had very big holes punched in him. Oh for the good old days.

      Posted by Harold on 2007 12 31 at 09:41 PM • permalink

 

    1. Having said that and zipping across to The Australian link, I noticed the lead story is about another grate Australian (NOT and misspelling intentional) Malcolm Fraser dumping on JWH for not accepting more Vietnam refugees.

      What a jealous low prat but again why is The Australian running with this?. Who gives a fuck what that wannabe thinks.

      Posted by mindfree on 2007 12 31 at 09:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. Harold

      Agreed, I played school rugby against Newtown Boys (70’s showing my age) and during one match when one of our forwards turned on the biff, one of their guys said..”If its tough you want, its tough you’ll get”, the next 20 minutes were not very pleasant. Needless to say, they came from behind and beat us by three tries.

      Posted by mindfree on 2007 12 31 at 09:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #21

      doh!decaheadwrong*

      That’d be the shape of a celebrity.

      *Good thing I wasn’t drinking, or you’d be up for a keyboard!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 31 at 09:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. The rolled-gold certainty that an ego-maniac like Cowell will find this thread when he does his daily Googling of his name has made my week.

      Hey, Brendie? Kiss my arse.

      Maybe stay off Google for a bit, it can’t help your blood pressure, luvvie.

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2007 12 31 at 10:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. Jeebus, did they snap that shot whilst he was at the urinal (in Darlinghurst?)?

      Thespian who produces own material: say no more …

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 12 31 at 10:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. Cowell is not a talented actor.

      He was perfect as Todd (in Life Support) because he played himself: an uncharismatic simpleton in a tightly scripted environment. He doesn’t know any other role.

      Perhaps that’s why he’s trying out for the Rob Hirst/David Williamson “conscience of the masses” angle.

      Brendan: there’s already a big que in the waiting room for the “I hate my country” role, you twit.

      Posted by Sensible Swim on 2007 12 31 at 10:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. What a shame. He was so good in Life Support
      (hilarious parody of lifestyle shows).Also hilarious how in his “Year Ahaed” (!)
      he whinges about the need to embrace climate change while refusing to embrace the fact that people might not wish to view his movies – probably slicing their carbon footprint don’tcha know.His climate change embrace does not seem to include cutting down the energy required to make, distribute publicise and attend his movies – not to mention the number of trees that were chopped down to allow his complaints about his movies in a national newspaper.

      Posted by carpefraise on 2007 12 31 at 10:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #82 – Cowell is not a talented actor

      He plays the prat much better than the part

      Posted by Whale Spinor on 2007 12 31 at 10:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #51
      You’d remember Rose Byrne and that red carpet dress…

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 31 at 10:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. This is one confused puppy.
      You’re right at #11, Paco – it fisks itself. The whole article oozes muddled responses and illogical positioning on a huge grab bag of lefty nostrums. Examples (and from just one sentence!):
      “There is nothing worse than travelling overseas and meeting people who identify your countrymen as those that throw children back…”
      (Presumably a reference to illegals, and really bad, as opposed to simply aborting children – more the left’s favoured solution and a symbolic rights issue for them.)
      “… ostracise their indigenous people …”
      (Does that mean keeping them in godforsaken settlements out back of beyond rather than assimilating them into the modern world?)
      “… and who organise mass racist riots.”
      (A few boozy flag wearers doing some silly posturing and achieveing nothing, as opposed to a vehicular convoy of people-bashing & stabbing, Church assaulting, car-smashing & burning – which required but did not get much of a response from the law enforcement types)

      Posted by blogstrop on 2007 12 31 at 10:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #85 kae,

      you linked to Rose McGowan.

      cuckoo at #51 has linked to a beautiful shot of Rose Byrne. and cuckoo, “fragrant” is a lovely description of her.

      Posted by Pogria on 2007 12 31 at 10:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. #68
      Thanks Abu
      But they’re all the same.
      Jumped up thespian wanker may have been a better construction.Happy New Year to you all!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 31 at 10:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. #87
      Oops! Thanks Pogs!

      Posted by kae on 2007 12 31 at 10:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #81
      Snapshot from David Marr-diGras’ personal collection?

      Posted by egg_ on 2007 12 31 at 10:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Brendan, you may probably never understand especially if you continue to write such drivel as this:

      How can we get Australian families to turn off such mindless crap as Australian Idol (why are we a culture obsessed with human failure?) and walk to the local cinema to catch the latest Aussie film to which Margaret and David gave a bunch of stars? I believe Australians are afraid to peer inside themselves for fear of what they will see.

      OK, Australian families are like families everywhere else, they don’t turn on television or go to the movies to spend half the next day analysing their feelings or engaged in an intellectual discussion about something of no relevance to them, no they go to be entertained, to escape from the worries and woes of the daily grind where they work hard to make enough to pay the bills, raise their kids and in between times try and enjoy themselves.

      As for Margaret and David, for goodness sakes these two tossers couldn’t be more irrelevant to most Australians than you and your art school crowd of wankers, sucking on the public teat and bleating, “look at me,” at every opportunity.

      Hell if you want to become relevant make a film explaining the tax system or how to properly invest in superannuation and more people would come.

      Idiot!

      Posted by Captain Sensible on 2007 12 31 at 11:20 PM • permalink

 

    1. Found this review of his movie ten empty.
      Heres a clue for Australian writer/directo/actors, we want movies that are watchable, not navel gazing wankery dressed up like its important, you can make them with the money you make from selling tickets to what people want.Heres life support as Todd.He should take some advice from my favourite character in the series Dr Rudi. (has a loud intro for about 5 seconds)

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2007 12 31 at 11:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. The only problem with idiots such as Brenda and the treatment they get from here is that if they do have the guts to stray into this site, they will probably consider themselves heroes for bravely speaking out for whatever their cause is..well in most cases..them!. Kinda like those brave artists who shit on every religion EXCEPT the ROp and say ‘look at me’ the outspoken courageous one

      “The Bush profit machine” “The Howard’s crushing of dissent”….so give us an example Brenda…Oh but he says “you mean you want facts..evidence ! but I’m just an actor !!!”

      Yeah..just like that other prize doofus cate ..Well I guess that’s one way he thinks he’s going to get famous however, at least she became successful first before exposing what a brainless twat she is.

      Posted by mindfree on 2007 12 31 at 11:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sounds like double dipping to me.

      The Australian public already paid to make his film and now he wants them to shell out sixteen bucks a ticket to sit in a freezing cold theatre while running the gauntlet of bogans and wannabe gansta’s in the cinema foyer.

      Fuck that shit.

      I’ll wait six months and watch it on SBS for free.  That would be the more eco-friendly thing to do.

      Posted by monaro on 2008 01 01 at 12:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. #89 Happy to help Kae!

      I reckon the dickhead has pissed off the barmaid, and every time she walks past, he throws back the head and says “hey, luv, beer!”

      Of course, being an aussie barmaid, she totally ignores him until the idiot starts getting aggro. That’s when fui fui moi moi, who moonlights as a bouncer, lumbers over and almost rips his head off!!

      Oh God, what fun!!!

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 01 01 at 12:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #92 Frollicking: There is a wonderful bit by one of Wodehouse’s characters somewhere in which a fellow bemoans Russian novels; “everyone saying how sad it all is, and Ivan going out to hang himself in the barn.” I similarly bemoan the modern film-maker, and his “realistic” portrayals of small-town suburbia, its dysfunctional families, its hypocrites (frequently, if not practically always, religious and/or conservative) et cetera, ad nauseum. Which puts me in mind of a scene from a good movie (My Favorite Year) in which the young television writer confronts the seedy, over-the-hill Errol Flynn-type character, Alan Swann (played by Peter O’Toole), who is panicking about doing a live TV performance and pleads his ordinariness. “I need heroes”, the young fellow says. “I can’t use you life-size”.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 12:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. #96 oh paco!!!,

      My Favourite Year is one of my ALL TIME favourite movies!!!

      Thanks so much for reminding me of it.

      Isn’t Peter O’Toole a riot? hehehe

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 01 01 at 12:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. Back to My Favourite Year,

      Peter O’Toole’s character had a suitcase that was filled with bottles of Chivas Regal that were very lovingly protected from harm.

      He also had a suit that was made with easy release so that he could be stripped in a moment by his manservant and prepared for bed.

      God, what a great movie.

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 01 01 at 12:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #98: It’s one of my favorites, too, Pogs. Recall the scene when the young writer takes Swann to meet his family in Brooklyn. His mother says, “Welcome to our humble chapeau.” Her son rolls his eyes, smiles sheepishly and says, “Two years at the Sorbonne, and she still gets it wrong.”

      So many wonderful lines, and one of the funniest was also the truest: when Swann yells, “I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star!”

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 01:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #99 paco,

      I always wanted one of those suits and that case with the Chivas!

      One of my other favourite Peter O’Toole movies it “The Lion in Winter”.

      I saw that when I was quite young and what completely mesmerised me was the brilliant use of the English language.

      I don’t care what anyone says about English and it’s being so hard to learn. I am bi-lingual and English wasn’t my language until I started school, but it is THE GREATEST language in the world, bar none.

      And I feel very privileged to know a bit about about ALL three VERSIONS OF IT.

      Aussie, (the best version, of course)
      British and last, but definitely not least (although your spelling is atrocious)
      American!

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 01 01 at 01:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. #46 Hey, Paco, were they installed before or after we burnt Washington VBG. Just kidding between friends here now, put that gun down….backs off slowly. Runs like shot!

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 01 01 at 02:05 AM • permalink

 

    1. 92 – if it’s half as bad as it sounds…
      Two weeks max at any of the mainstream cinemas that show it. Probably 4-5 if it gets a run at the Luna in Leederville, and most of that time will be in cinemas 3 or 4, which are converted shops and thus about the size of your average loungroom. With seating in numbers to match.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 01 01 at 02:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. One of my other favourite Peter O’Toole movies it “The Lion in Winter”.

      Pogria:  It’s been one of my long time favorite’s, too. They have re-released it on dvd with director’s commentary.

      Posted by Redd on 2008 01 01 at 02:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #92, interesting review. The reviewer has clearly seen it all before, and wants the new tragedy stuiff to be done better.

      Years ago I experienced a similar feeling as I attended a feminist play about the heroine’s personal oppression etc. The experience of oppression is not something I am out of sympathy with, but the staging and “acting” I found too unbearable to sit through.
      It was at the point where the young woman concerned disrobed (or deT-shirted) while decrying the patriarchy that I felt that horrible sense of deja vu that makes theatre so hideous if they’re not portraying old conflicts in a fresh way.

      Will I ever forget? *sigh*

      Posted by carpefraise on 2008 01 01 at 04:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Paco #96:

      Is that the same character who says “Tolstoy! I spit me of Tolstoy! Dostoevsky! I spit me of Dosteovsky! P.G. Woodhouse! Well, he’s not so bad . . . “

      Posted by jgm on 2008 01 01 at 04:22 AM • permalink

 

    1. P.G. Wodehouse, too.

      Posted by jgm on 2008 01 01 at 04:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. Brendan Cowell is saying “Australians are such gormless, uncultured apes they won’t have the intelligence or taste to see my film Ten Empty”.

      That way, if the film fails, he can blame the audience, not his own self-indulgence. I for one have blacklisted it.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 01 01 at 04:33 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bring a bucket.

      Your play Self Esteem is about Australia’s identity and confidence. Do you think a change of government would change the nation’s self confidence?
      The reason why I reckon [Kevin] Rudd’s got a good chance is that he’s not that far away from Howard.

      He’s a Christian guy with good beliefs and I think he’s got a really good chance. Voting anywhere away from John Howard I think is going to be a really strong step in the right direction. We can finally embrace the future and that can only be a good thing. Everyone is starting to see that … with what he’s done with AWB, Iraq, with what he’s done with David Hicks and probably most importantly the workers’ laws. That’s affected homes so deeply. People are fed up and they can see all the mudslinging and lying now that it’s just desperate measures. He’s genius is three weeks before an election where he can instil so much fear that if we vote in Rudd, the refugees will come and get us, the terrorists will get us, the bombs will land, we’ll run out of money and everyone will take everything we’ve ever worked for. And he’s so good at fear and that’s pretty much all he has this year so hopefully Australians have smartened up. I think he’s [Rudd] unflappable, he hasn’t beaten up a cab driver. He’s building his policies really slowly, but he actually has policies. Not sure I agree with funding of private schools.

      Follow the link to uncover more wonders like the above.

      Dude, you’re an ACTOR!

      There is a reason your breed is known as walking furniture, breathing/warm props, or nufnufs.

      As for why Aussie audiences are turning up to Bollywood productions in droves and leaving advanced Australian fare alone?

      We want to be entertained.

      I go to church on sundays and I’m more than happy to be preached at then. I’m not paying up to $17 to get nagged.

      Get a clue. We want fun. We want to be provoked but not prodded.

      When I want political commentary, I’ve got documentaries to watch – real ones, too, not Michael Moore dreck.

      Get over yourself and let the aussie viewer make up their own mind about things.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 01 01 at 04:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. 96, 105 – reminds me of a comment by PJ O’Rourke about reading Anna Karenina: “There was Tolstoy gibbering about the Russian peasant’s spiritual relationship to yakkity-yakkity-yak and me going ‘Leo, why’d she fuck the guy?’”

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 01 01 at 04:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #85 Kae, that’s Rose McGowan. She went from hanging around with Marilyn Manson to a spot in Charmed.

      Not sure which was the better gig.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 01 01 at 04:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Oops. Pog beat me to it at #87. That’ll teach me to post before reading all the comments.

      Unless, of course, I’m just another of those uncultured, illiterate yobs who wouldn’t know Aaaaaht if it bit me on the aaaahrse.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 01 01 at 05:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Nilk, I still loves ya, baby.

      PS: I don’t know art but I know what I like and I know shit, and I know the difference.

      Posted by kae on 2008 01 01 at 05:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. Isn’t it a hoot when really, really stupid people think they’re intellectuals because they went to art college?

      At a time when the free trade agreement has got out of control to the point where we actually demand an American conglomerate to come in and teach us what it is to be confident in industry, in morale, spirituality and thinking and physical thinking. Let them have it, we’ll became a part of you. Physically and legally So we now are the 53rd state but they can’t get us moving, they can’t get us at the pace they want us. So they send in the group of CHADs who are these cloned military male Christian leaders who come into every house and teach the Australian families whilst taking all their money and forcing them to tithe their money back into the CHADs’ industry for future growth. They teach Australians what it is to like themselves, what it is to be enthusiastic, fly the flag, achieve stuff and succeed at the expense if a lot of sacrifice of course. These characters are sitting at home on Friday night talking about the ways in which they are going to avoid this overhaul. But CHAD comes in and asks questions and notices things and all of a sudden the family’s changing rapidly.

      HUH??!!?? Wha’fuck??? No doubt he scored a grant or some form of funding to come up with this gobbler- you can see where he gets his insights from:- You’re obviously a keen political student then?
      I’m getting that way. I read the Herald everyday. This is my first political play and it took a lot of courage to write it. I’ve never really felt that I’ve known enough and I’ve been trying to learn ever since university.

      I don’t want to just jump on the leftist band wagon and go ‘Yeah, I hate John Howard too’. Because I think he’s done some amazing things as well. The Australian dollar versus the American dollar, small businesses. He’s an incredible financier, John Howard, at the expense of everything humanitarian. He’s still very good at the budget. I’m formulating views and I know what I’m talking about finally. I work on a very human and social level with politics and how it affects the everyday person. I don’t know it’s inner workings. As a writer I look at it on a human level.

      I found myself having dinner parties at my house and then the next day wanting to kill John Howard………Courageous indeed, to parrot the feeble delusions of your puny audience and confirm all their poorly-researched prejudices. Here’s a tip, matey, bung on a play or produce a fillum about the rampant racism, misogyny, criminality and atavism that permeates Sydney’s disfunctional Lebanese Moslem community, and run it at a theatre in Lakemba.

      Not that our Brenny’s full of his own piss and importance though:- I thought I’ve got a bit of a voice now and a bit of a profile and I thought I should use it. I should try and say something in studied way.Not in the least bit precious, pretentious or smugly self-indulgent:- I came to Sydney (after) and instead of like a whole lot of NIDA graduates waiting for the phone to ring I wrote a play. I met (Anthony) Tony Hayes, we made a film together. Thn we went to Belvoir and then we wrote another one that went to the Sydney Festival. We were just going. I wasn’t waiting for some agent to call up and say you’ve got two days on All Saints. I’m a storyteller, this is my job. Your job is flogging flytraps to Victorian bogans, you vacuous, pea-brained puffbucket.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 01 01 at 05:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. And I avoid Australian fillums like I do winos on public transport, for the quite valid reason that they’re almost inevitably shithouse. Even ones that aren’t publicly funded are usually stinkers- for example I’ve popped scarier things out of my bottom than Wolf Creek; badly written, poorly acted amateurish twaddle might impress luvvies full of canapes and Krug at opening night but for myself I’d rather watch question time.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 01 01 at 05:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. This however something even worse than Australian film- Australian television. Local content rules have allowed some of the most moronic, facile and spectacularly unimaginative twaddle to be foisted on long-suffering punters, enriching talent-bereft hacks and hams who wouldn’t get a paying gig in a tampon ad (as the tampon) in a free market.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 01 01 at 05:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. 113-115: No NY resolution to speak only in kindly terms about one’s intellectual inferiors, I take it?

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2008 01 01 at 06:14 AM • permalink

 

    1. Habib, I’ll take one new keyboard, please.

      Back onto the topic, I knew I’d heard of Life Support somewhere.

      My housemate, the Godmother, crewed on it.

      Her thoughts on Brendan? He was nice, sweet, kept to himself and didn’t say much.

      My comment? Well that’s certainly changed.

      Direct quote here: He’s the sort of guy who after you talk to him for a while you realise, oh, he’s from Sydney.

      Says it all, really.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 01 01 at 06:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. Are you sure that isn’t a photo of this guy?

      Posted by Nicholas on 2008 01 01 at 07:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. Bravo, Habib.

      You should really pack in this RAAF officer gig and sign up as a Drill Sergeant at Kapooka.

      Wasted talent, etc.

      Posted by Pedro the Ignorant on 2008 01 01 at 08:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. #115 Habib This however something even worse than Australian film- Australian television
      the pinnacle of this is the ABC, with its latest fad of game shows with no prizes.
      I mean WTF what seriously is the point? I guess they think they’re taking the capitalist, materialist component out of the equation, but actually, they’re removing the emotional charge. Watching someone sweat over a half-million-dollar question is entertaining. Trivia night at the local pub isn’t.

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 01 01 at 09:04 AM • permalink

 

    1. #113: Fireman gives Brendan one last shot with the fire extinguisher.

      There. I think you’re out, mate. Now, remember:  don’t go prancing about in Habib’s vicinity wearing Eau d’ Smug; irritates him something fierce, it does.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 12:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. At the risk of further irritating Habib, I’ve just learned that his favourite ABC girlfriend is the new host on JJJ’s breakfast program, starting mid-January.

      Sorry, mate, hope you’ve otherwise had a great festive season.

      Posted by JAFA on 2008 01 01 at 02:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. #122: The only thing I can say in her favor is that her favorite book is A Confederacy of Dunces, one of the great comic novels of American literature. Other than that, she looks and tweets like a pretentious sparrow that is blissfully unaware of the existence of cats, but is due for a dramatic introduction any day now.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 02:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. #123 But she says she loves it because of the tragic story associated with it, you know that medium is more important than the message tripe that leftists wallow in.

      Posted by jpaulg on 2008 01 01 at 03:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #123. Paco, further clues

      Posted by JAFA on 2008 01 01 at 03:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. When you use the term ‘Australian Actor’, nine times out of ten it means ‘Screaming F*ckwit’.

      Posted by AlphaMikeFoxtrot on 2008 01 01 at 03:46 PM • permalink

 

    1. #124: The story surrounding the author’s tragic suicide and his mother’s persistent attempts to get the novel published is fascinating, but if that’s the main reason she’s attracted to it, then she has rather missed the boat.

      BTW, John Kennedy Toole also wrote a short novel called The Neon Bible at age 15 which was the winning entry in some kind of contest. I read it with awe; not just because it is a wonderful book, but because I was astounded that a 15-year old boy could pen something so mature in terms of plotting and characterization. Toole was a genius, and it is a bitter shame that his despair cut off not only his own life, but the likely additional classic works of literature that he would have produced had he lived.

      Compare with Marieke Hardy’s stab at “characterization” in describing Hicks: “one misguided goof with a penchant for guns and idiotic adventure”. Right. Just a big, lovable palooka who wanted to have some fun. Hardy and her ilk are moral morons (moralons?).

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 04:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Talking of the ABC and its penchant for obnoxious presenters, I turned on the car radio last month to be greeted by a very loud and shrill voice. It was in conversation with a adult man with the voice of a small child. The vulture-voiced woman was none other than the Harpy of the South, Catherine Deveny screeching at Michael Leunig. Interesting contrast for the 2.8 seconds it took to turn off the radio.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 01 01 at 05:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Confederacy is overrated as a comic novel. Donald Jack’s books leave it for dead. (His novels are actually funny as opposed to “cute” or “odd”).

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2008 01 01 at 05:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. #129: I disagree profoundly with that remark. Confederacy is not in any way a “cute” book; it is comic in the sense that Swift’s works are comic. NONETHELESS, I am grateful for the mention of Donald Jack, who I’ve never heard of, but whose stuff does sound like it’s well worth a look.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 05:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Someone tell that oik that only Sophia Lauren could get away with that head toss.

      Of course, she led more with her tits for balance…

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 01 at 09:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Paco—The funniest thing about My Favorite Year.

      It isn’t fiction.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 01 01 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Paco: do you mean in a social satire sense? I wish someone had pointed that out to me before. Every time I have tried to plough through ‘Confederacy’ I have in mind all of the critic and famous reader blurbs that describe it as ‘hilarious’, ‘laugh out loud funny’… the usual hyperbole. But, since I am yet to even giggle when reading the book, I suspect that the problem is with the people making the commentary. I concluded that the sort of people raving about the book (people who write for The New Yorker, etc) had perhaps never read a seriously laugh out loud funny book – for them it was uproarious, but you have to contrast it with the tiresome, plotless modern literature they devour to see why it might brighten their day.

      (I put them in the same category of humourless “serious” types who have jumped on the Harry Potter band wagon. They can dig a fantasy novel, because all of their friends are slumming and it’s hip to read them all of a sudden. But none of them know about truly great fantasy and other adult genre fiction authors like Jack Vance and Alfred Bester, whose writings are just as worthy as – if not more so – the latest literary wunderkind).

      [/embarrassing frothing at the mouth rant]

      Your characterization of the novel puts it in a new light for me, so I’ll give it one last shot and see if I “get” it.

      You won’t be disappointed in Donald Jack’s chronicles of World War One flying ace, Bartholomew Bandy. They are terrific and have long had a cult following

      Posted by Abu Chowdah on 2008 01 01 at 10:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. #122- I’d say it was a reward for blind, unquestioning support over the last 11 years, but who reads her juvinile twaddle anyway? She’s been sleazing her way into the ABC for some time now, and given she’s now on the sunset side of thirty (and about as hip as Ray Martin) she’s a walkup start for a gig on yoof meeja. The theory of reward for ideological monomania falls flat as well- while the ALP certainlt stuffs all available public-funded outlets with fellow travellers during their brief and thankfully infrequent stints in power, “conservative” governments allow these festering boils on the public tit do likewise, ensuring that the litany of poorly penned polemic that passes for news and current affairs and the veritable plethora of turgid, humourless, repetetive undergraduate bollocks that’s marketted as “comedy” befouls the largely unwatched bandwidth allocated at great cost to a public who largely ignore it.

      Fitsy should fit in famously with the other dribbling, middle-aged hippy fucktards who cause traffic chaos with their morning radio extravaganzas, being so tediously predictable that anyone not quick enough to punch up another station on their car radio will lapse into a coma and plogh into a gaggle of pedestrians or flip off an overpass onto a bikeway crowded with the perpetually concerned.

      Posted by Habib on 2008 01 01 at 11:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. #133 Abu: I believe that there are quite a few “ha-ha” funny moments in the book (at least, there were for me), but it is in the larger, satirical sense that it is important as a comic novel; it’s not funny in the same sense that, for example, Wodehouse is funny. I thought the characterizations were rich and original, and the humor lies in the interaction between the protagonist – a self-described Thomist philosopher (and goofball) – and the modern world.

      I look forward to dipping into Donald Jack’s works.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 11:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. #135: On the other hand, these things are really a matter of personal preference, so there’s really no reason why you should like it at all, if it’s not to your taste.

      Posted by paco on 2008 01 01 at 11:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 – looks more like showing his hair’s gotten caught in his necklace.

      Posted by Achillea on 2008 01 02 at 12:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. #105 Nooooooooooooooo! That’s a completely different story, one of the golf stories!
      And the guy says:”PG Wodehouse and Tolstoi not bad. Not good, but not bad.”That’s from The Clicking of Cuthbert *beams*.Oh, you were asking Paco….

      BTW Paco, today I came across a bag branded Casa PACO. Are you branching out into ladies travel accessories? Is your lust for the delights of branding ever to be sated?

      Posted by carpefraise on 2008 01 02 at 04:57 AM • permalink

 

    1. Thanks, carpefraise.

      Posted by jgm on 2008 01 02 at 08:01 PM • permalink

 

  1. fuck those croatian postmen…

    Posted by vinny on 2008 01 03 at 04:42 AM • permalink