INCONVENIENT BRRR

Global coldening continues. Its real name is global warmening.

UPDATE. We are all doomed. Well, most of us.

(Via Garth Godsman)

Posted by Tim B. on 11/29/2006 at 09:11 AM
    1. If this keeps up it will be a white xmas in Oz.  If it gets hotter still and hell freezes over bomber beazley may even keep his job.

      Posted by surfmaster on 2006 11 29 at 09:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. I recommend we take over Sweden.  It’s a lovely place, even now, before the big warmening.

      Posted by Dave in Chicago on 2006 11 29 at 09:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. I want it to snow again in Orlando. I missed it last week because I decided to take a bath. By the time I got outside it had all melted.

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 29 at 09:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. I froze my nuts off a few days ago after a long run here in Iraq. And now I’m sick as a dog. This global warmening sucks.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 11 29 at 09:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. As the irreplaceable James Taranto often points out, our chances of dying remain exactly 100%.

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 11 29 at 10:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. Texas Bob-has it started to rain yet?

      It’s getting to be the rainy season there and the rain mixes with the moon dust to make the most adhesive mud I have ever seen-tracked everywhere if you go outside and almost impossible to clean up.

      Big cold front expected to move into western NC later this week.

      Posted by 68W40 on 2006 11 29 at 10:48 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmm.

      Big cold front expected here in NJ too this Sat.  Say.  Where’s the Al Gore-Bot?  He headed this way?

      Posted by memomachine on 2006 11 29 at 11:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. We’ve had below freezing temperatures here in Eastern Washington for several days now, with several more days of the same in the forecast.

      So where are my carbon credits indulgences?

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 29 at 11:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. Not yet SSG Medic, thank God!  I hope to be out of here before it begins. We had a little taste of it last month, so the FNGs have an idea of what they are in for. You are soooo right, it IS the stickiest goo I’ve ever stepped in. Hard as concrete when dry, and stickier than a two-year-old eating cotton candy when wet.  This has got to be the most useless soil on the planet.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 11 29 at 11:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. The way you get really cold air is, where there’s no sun any longer, the earth radiates away its heat, and the cold ground cools the air.

      For that to happen, the earth has to radiate away its heat.

      Apparently it’s able to do that pretty efficiently.  The heat is not trapped by gr**nhouse gasses, in particular.

      Posted by rhhardin on 2006 11 29 at 12:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #7

      You’re right. We need the Gore Bitch in Jersey. Been really warm and the storms have been eating the beaches. Keep this up and I’ll have beachfront property, which means no more driving and stinking up ol’ Gaia with Cadillac fumes. Get up here, Al. I got a couple frosties in the fridge with your name on ‘em.

      Posted by Gary from Jersey on 2006 11 29 at 12:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. Yup. Them damned Canadans are exporting their cols air again.

      Bastards.

      Posted by mojo on 2006 11 29 at 12:11 PM • permalink

 

    1. #12 mojo,

      Yup. Them damned Canadans are exporting their cold air again.

      Bastards.

      Ah! That explains why it was 25°F (-4°C) this morning… in Southern California!

      OK, so I’m not exactly in LA, but still.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 29 at 12:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. #3, Andrea, Now stop that, your just trying to distract us from the issue at hand…

      #4, Tex, Think hot chicken soup.  Sorry, but thats about all I can do to help atm.

      #9, Tex Agin’, Thats why Y’all needs to shite in it (the soil I mean).  Add some phosphates and suchforth…

      #13, We’s expectin’ 23C (73.4F) tomorrow.  Thats about a ‘whole lot’ colder than this lil’ black duck ever recalls for the first day of summer.

      Call me ignorant, but in my 25 years on Gods green light brown (I’m in WOZ after all) Earth, aint it s’posed to be at least 32C+ (90F) by now?

      P.S.  My Tachers(sic) always warned me about this Ice Age that was a comin’.  Is y’all tellin moi dat dey was wrong?  Agin’?

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 29 at 12:54 PM • permalink

 

    1. here in Denver we’re expecting a high of 18 degrees (normal high is 47) with about 6 inches of snow so far and still falling.

      Global Coldening blows

      Posted by dave w. on 2006 11 29 at 12:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. Very O/T, We are now short 1 navy airman, and missing a SAS trooper.  Also there is a helicopter in the water, not that a chopper means a lot, as we can buy those from the yanks…

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 29 at 01:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Mr Lovelock said temperature rises of up to 8C were already built in and, while efforts to curb it were morally commendable, they were wasted.

      Mr Lovelock said…booming economies China and India were out of control.

      Well, finally a warm-monger who makes sense.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 29 at 01:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #16: God bless ‘em.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 29 at 01:38 PM • permalink

 

    1. #18, Amen.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2006 11 29 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. #5: Thanks for that link, Mark. In addition to the depressing news that everybody faces a 100% chance of death (except for maybe Ted Williams), one of the stories includes some fired-up letters from veterans and their families on the subject of His Supreme Idiocy, Charlie “Drano Voice” Rangel.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 29 at 01:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. Finally Greenland will be green again.  Plus people will be able to resettle those areas of Greenland that the Vikings had settled—until it got too cold & snowy even for them.

      Posted by rbj1 on 2006 11 29 at 02:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m looking forward to the day that the “consensus” undergoes another sudden and rapid paradigm shift, and we’re back to all manner of scientists warning us of the coming global ice age again.

      In the unlikely case that any of them have a sense of humour, they’ll credit Tim with being the first to realize it. 🙂

      Posted by PW on 2006 11 29 at 02:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. I can barely accept this humour about Global Warming (Please Believe Unsubstantiated Hypothesis). If anyone makes cartoons, there will be consequences.

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 29 at 02:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. Al likes to keep his thermometer in the freezer prior to uses.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 11 29 at 03:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. #23

      Consequences, schmonsequences, as long as I’m rich warm.

      — D. Duck.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2006 11 29 at 03:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. Death! Death to the crusader Norman!

      Posted by flying pigs over mecca on 2006 11 29 at 04:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. mark from monroe: Unfortunately, statistics say otherwise. You would think the chance of death would be 100%. But eternal life may yet be a possibility!

      You see, of all the people who have ever lived, a large percentage are still alive today. In fact, it’s possible that over 50% of humans who have ever lived are alive today. That means the chance of dying is less than 50%!

      Isn’t statistics wonderful? To paraphrase Mark Twain “One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of a trifling investment of fact.”

      Posted by Nicholas on 2006 11 29 at 04:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. Tim says:

      Its real name is global warmening.

      But, Lovelock says:

      He also wants the term ‘global warming’ to be dumped for the less cosy phrase ‘global heating’.

      I agree. We shouldn’t be using such a warm and fuzzy moniker for something as sinister as “Global Heating”. We wouldn’t want people thinking “Global warming. That doesn’t sound so bad.”

      So, Global Heating® it is. Just use it sparingly, to avoid mass panic. And, not around children, the aged, or the overly sensitive…..

      Posted by rinardman on 2006 11 29 at 04:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. JeffS, cold in Western WA too.  Stayed below freezing all day yesterday (and so far today) and it’s snowing again.  Gosh darn this glowball womanising!  Gosh darn it all to heck (’scuse my rough seafaring language).

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 29 at 04:42 PM • permalink

 

    1. It’s been in the 50s here in MI.  I love global warming and fuck all who oppose it.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 11 29 at 04:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. High of 29F and a low of 18F yesterday in Seattle. Snowing right now. I guess Al Gore must be in town.

      Posted by swassociates on 2006 11 29 at 04:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Adapt or die.

      Posted by aaron_ on 2006 11 29 at 04:50 PM • permalink

 

    1. Record low temperatures across the globe.

      Record low IQs among AGW believers.

      Coincidence?

      You be the judge.

      Posted by Jack Lacton on 2006 11 29 at 05:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. Expect large concentrations of CO2, methane and other GhG’s in Melbourne today when sixty gazillion-trillion-billion unionists gather at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, for a day of rage against Howard.  Should be interesting: for once, the enclosed venue will make it easy to accurately measure the turnout, not that it matters.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 11 29 at 06:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. Time Magazine has 10 questions for Al Gore.  It’s worth a read just for the laughs.  He’s carbon neutral, you know?

      Also good for a laugh is Time’s frontrunner for Person of the Year…

      Posted by anthony_r on 2006 11 29 at 06:25 PM • permalink

 

    1. #34

      They are turning up for the free concert and the comedians. Beazley had better appear first of they might all go home.

      Posted by amortiser on 2006 11 29 at 06:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m writing from Melbourne in the land of Oz. It’s 15 celsius at 9.45 am. Well, all I can say is I’m doing my bit. I drive a 12 year old smoke-belching diesel 4WD (SUV), my family makes so much rubbish I have to hire a prvate contractor to supplement the council garbage service, and, as I have heard that cow’s farts produce a potent greenhouse gas, I eat alot of red meat (usually BBQ’ed).

      Is there anything else I can do?

      Posted by mad doc on 2006 11 29 at 06:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. #6 91B30

      Texas Bob-has it started to rain yet?

      It’s getting to be the rainy season there and the rain mixes with the moon dust to make the most adhesive mud I have ever seen-tracked everywhere if you go outside and almost impossible to clean up.

      Emergency!!!  All available Rovian VRWC Deathbeasts… set weather machines to “Full Dry!” The last thing we need right now is for troops in Iraq to get bogged down in a goddam quagmire!

      (Ahem, Paco. My sales-kickbacks cheque still hasn’t arrived yet… )

      Posted by splice on 2006 11 29 at 07:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. #36, Beazley?  I didn’t realize they had comedy acts.

      Anyway, this is the latest from the Age:
      Organisers are hoping to fill the stadium which holds about 100,000 people, but by 8.30am, 30 minutes before the official start of the rally, the stands were less than half full.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 11 29 at 07:17 PM • permalink

 

    1. From rebase’s link:

      Q: Should ratifying the Kyoto Protocol be a priority?

      A: We should ratify it, but this will be very difficult so long as Bush and Cheney remain in the White House and there is a narrow majority in the Senate.

      Algore has forgotten that the Kyoto treaty was rejected for even consideration by the vast majority of the Senate, as it was written.

      Or the pompous prick is just revising history.  Take your pick.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 29 at 07:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. JeffS, cold in Western WA too.

      Well, keep it over there!  We have more than enough cold as it is.  ;-P

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 29 at 07:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. Well so far it’s been raining here (Orlando, Florida, USA) since yesterday afternoon. Pretty much solid rain. It’s too damp and warm for snow, though. Still, I thought global warmeandering was supposed to cause droughts, things to burst into flame, etc…

      Posted by Andrea Harris, Administrator on 2006 11 29 at 07:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. If an ecobabe gives you the cold shoulder, does that mean you’re about to spend a hot night together?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 29 at 08:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. 37 mad doc

      Is there anything else I can do?

      Sure as hell is…Pass the Tabasco, I’m to busy eatin’ to reach.

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 29 at 08:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. 43 Infidel Tiger

      If an ecobabe gives you the cold shoulder, does that mean you’re about to spend a hot night together?

      Nope, it means you a hot hand tonight…If I was you, I’d catch some Straight Poker, Black Jack, or use that hand at a Craps table…:).

      AND I know y’all was thinkin’ I was gonna’ say somethin’ else or go ina’ ‘nother di’erection…about the hot hand…but fooled your asses, huh?

      Posted by El Cid on 2006 11 29 at 08:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Texas Bob—The global warmening has moved the Brutal Afghan Winter to Iraq.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2006 11 29 at 09:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Ah, Lovelock, you make statements pulled from thin air:

      “A hot Earth couldn’t support much over 500 million.”

      Your corroborating evidence is?????

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:08 PM • permalink

 

    1. Did you see the Green Bay/Seattle NFL game on Monday? I initially thought they were playing in Green Bay ! Brrr, cold.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. … plus global snowering.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’ve barely noticed a change in seasons, let alone a rise in temperature. Science bless you, air-conditioner.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 29 at 10:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. Paco, just to clarify #38, I don’t mean the kickbacks from weather machine sales. Michael Lonie was head of that department, as I recall. I’m talking about the deal we did with Saddam for the shiploads of “Golden Yankee Maize” that Polenta Arabian Cornmeal Organics Inc. bought for a steal from those poor Russian peasant farmers near Chernobyl.

      As you said, thanks to global warming their yields are improving enormously. Buying their produce is the least we can do to help them get back on their feet. But I’m gettin’ nervous. The Aussies are already copping the heat over their wheat deals. I want my money before somebody gets wise.

      Posted by splice on 2006 11 29 at 10:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #24 Al’s thermometer is up his arse (Sorry, someone had to say it).

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. #47: Dons tweed jacket with intellectual-looking elbow patches, puts on coke-bottle eyeglasses, lights pipe, tosses match in cat’s litter box

      My dear Canadian friend. The explanation is quite simple, and there is abundant evidence that Mr., er, Lovelock is correct. Take for example, the planet Mercury. Closest planet to the sun, Mercury is very, very hot. And we can say without fear of contradiction that there are no more than 500 million people on that planet. Nothing like 500 million, actually; although we must, of course, allow for the fact that it is a much smaller planet. Nonetheless, this proves that too much heat is inimicable to human life, ergo as our own planet – Earth – grows hotter, we will begin dying off. Just as my cat, there, is in danger of expiring from the excessive heat caused by his tail having caught on fire.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 29 at 10:28 PM • permalink

 

    1. #40 If memory serves me correct, it was on the watch of his boss, Billy-Bob Clinton, when Kyoto was turned down. Who was VEEP then? On the tip of my tongue..some kind of muslim name, Al something or the other…

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. #51 My dear Splice: You are confused. That was not an endeavor of Paco Enterprises; that was Pok-Ho Commodities, a completely unrelated Chinese firm owned by the Chinese government. You are perhaps thinking of the rake off commissions earned by Philanthropists Always Care Oodles on the contract with UNICEF to distribute Kids Karbon Kredits.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 29 at 10:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. #53, Paco old chap, my computer simulations clearly indicate that there are 500 million people living at EACH POLE of Mercury, which haven’t yet been observed by the spacecraft.

      By means of having advantage of both intense heat and cold, they can live in a salon temperature bliss.

      Further revelations of my simulations indicate a fondness for racing pink mice through mazes.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2006 11 29 at 10:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #56: Wipes steam from coke-bottle eyeglasses resulting from dipping cat’s tale in flower vase full of water.

      Old top. Surely you have confused a genuine computer simulation with “Mayhem on Mercury”, the new adult Playstation game featuring highly realistic, er, fertility rites at the planet’s poles, as rival players seek to create the biggest swarm of comely Amazon warriors swathed in clingy toga-teddies?

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 29 at 10:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. By means of having advantage of both intense heat and cold, they can live in a salon temperature bliss.

      Not to mention the delightfully stimulating fumes.

      Posted by PW on 2006 11 29 at 11:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #55 Mr Paco, sir, I just got a call from Terrence Cole QC. Thank God I’d heard from you in time. I knew exactly what to tell the Royal Commissioner, although he did wonder what an Australian was doing working for the Chinese Government.

      Ah, well. Now I can just relax and plot where all these new cold fronts should cross North America.

      Posted by splice on 2006 11 29 at 11:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. OK, so I’m not exactly in LA, but still.

      Heck, I am in LA and it’s damned cold.  I’m thinking Al Gore snuck into town when my back was turned.

      Posted by Achillea on 2006 11 30 at 02:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. #52 I think that that’s a brrrometer up Al’s ass, Wimpy. And I notice that you didn’t take into account the duplicate planet Earth on the other side of the sun where everything’s backwards and everyone wears goatees.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 30 at 02:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. And more on global warming in the Great White Green North:
      http://tinyurl.com/y2ungx

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 30 at 02:54 AM • permalink

 

    1. #30 aaron_

      It’s been in the 50s here in MI.  I love global warming and fuck all who oppose it.

      I agree with Michigan.  It was in the 60’s in Ohio today.  I’m not sure what that is on the Celsius scale, but it’s very nice for late November.  I’m more than willing to allow some atolls sink under the waters of the Pacific in exchange for a few more days of this global warmening.

      Posted by wronwright on 2006 11 30 at 06:42 AM • permalink

 

    1. #63 wronwright, too late!

      I agree with Michigan.  It was in the 60’s in Ohio today.  I’m not sure what that is on the Celsius scale, but it’s very nice for late November.  I’m more than willing to allow some atolls sink under the waters of the Pacific in exchange for a few more days of this global warmening.

      As I remember, the French already sank some the best available atolls in the Pacific way back in the early seventies. They cracked a lot of coral, as I remember. It was a strategic strike that, miraculously, spared the tireless patriarch of the Cousteau oligarchy of oceanographic and environmental studies.

      Which leads me to wonder, who will inherit that country’s legacy nuclear technology as France continues the fire-sale of its own towns and suburbs?

      Posted by splice on 2006 11 30 at 07:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Holy crap I laughed when I read this line from Al’s “TIME” “interview”:

      “I’ve had a powerful ally in reality.”

      We have to find a way to keep Al in his fantasy realm; who is this powerful reality-based Gore-ist collaborator and how do we stop him?!

      Posted by Nova Scotia Mike on 2006 11 30 at 08:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Frost warning for tonight. No biggie for the likes of meself but generally not so good for our many citrus growers.

      So, the official, party approved rhetoric, is now Glerbal Hating? That’s cool. The Glorbell warmenizing was too hard to spell and sounded a bit like we intended to objectification of Glorbells.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 30 at 10:06 AM • permalink

 

    1. I can’t help it. When I hear Global Warming, I think of thermal underwear.

      Posted by Texas Bob on 2006 11 30 at 10:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. PROTOCOLS OF THE ELDERS OF KYOTO

      Found that as a subject header for an article at Dr. Sanity‘s place.

      Has a nice ring to it, dont it?

      Now all we need is for the Algore to publish his “My Struggles”, explain his reverse “living room” pan-racial reductionism philosophies for his devoted legions of Brown Earthers.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 30 at 10:24 AM • permalink

 

    1. #63 (& 40) Yeah, it was up to 15°C here in Toronto, too, wronwright, that’s around 60°F, that was close to a record warm for the day. Mind you, it’s supposed to be down to 3°C for Thursday afternoon and on (just above freezing), which is a bit below average that’s what it’s been for most of October and November.

      Posted by andycanuck on 2006 11 30 at 11:36 AM • permalink

 

    1. #59, Ah, well. Now I can just relax and plot where all these new cold fronts should cross North America.

      Concerning the balmy temperatures in southwest Ohio that wronwright mentioned, there is a major cold front coming and we can expect snow showers by morning.  Now I know who to blame.  Yes, I’m frowning at you.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 30 at 02:12 PM • permalink

 

    1. “We are all doomed.”

      On the plus side, this will solve my insomnia problem, and also, no one will be lonely.

      Posted by Dave Surls on 2006 12 02 at 03:08 PM • permalink

 

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