GUEST INSULTED

Having previously described the Australian cricket team as a pack of wild dogs, Fairfax moral muppet Peter Roebuck is now livid over Matthew Hayden’s description of Indian spinner Harbhajan Singh (“a guest in this country”) as an obnoxious weed. Memo to Hayden: next time, call him a dog.

Not that Roebuck spares Indian players of criticism; oh, not at all. But look at whom he blames:

Urged on by television networks eager to cast them as heroes, Harbhajan and Ishant have turned into hotheads …

Well, hang on a second. Here’s Roebuck’s January 8 column, massively circulated throughout Indian media:

Harbhajan Singh can be an irritating young man but he is head of a family and responsible for raising nine people … Australian fieldsmen fire insults from the corners of their mouths, an intemperate Sikh warrior overreacts

Keep ducking and weaving, Peter.

Posted by Tim B. on 02/28/2008 at 08:40 PM
    1. The spankster is to be the speakster at a lecture at Qld Uni of Technology on 6 March 2008.

      Something about cricket, apparently. I got an invite but binned it.

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 28 at 08:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Slightly O/T, but I got an emailed story that Aussies consider rubbing kangaroo testicles (taxidermied, not on the hoof) to be good luck. Any truth to this? And if so, where do I find a pair?

      Posted by Latino on 2008 02 28 at 09:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. He’s taken more positions than Paris Hilton at a gang bang.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 02 28 at 09:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. A photo proving Harbhajan has at least 2 mates :

      Piccy of
      Harbajhan

      ( – as many of the baby boomers would know is the one on the left.)

      Posted by Wacko on 2008 02 28 at 09:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Latino

      You have to get your own and get them tanned. A bought set is no use at all.

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 28 at 09:35 PM • permalink

 

    1. Does this dribbling idiot have some place to go after the cricket season or does it live here?

      Posted by Turbine on 2008 02 28 at 09:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. #2 not kangaroo testicles, Latino, Peter Roebuck’s testicles. And its kicking ‘em, not rubbin ‘em (my god man, you wanna catch a disease or summin)

      Posted by larrikin on 2008 02 28 at 09:39 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Keep ducking and weaving, Peter.”

      Don’t you mean, “keep spanking and squealing”, Tim?

      Posted by Bearded Mullah on 2008 02 28 at 09:56 PM • permalink

 

    1. And after an entire summer of terrible, horrible, unforgiveably evil Australian sledging, the Indians could take no more and put in an official complaint that Hayden had called Harbajhan – shock!! – a ‘mad boy’.

      Hayden said he called him a ‘bad boy’, which might even be worse – who knows – but with villifacation as extreme as this, it is amazing that the Indians have been able to complete the tour. No doubt they cry themselves to sleep every night.

      Posted by BB77 on 2008 02 28 at 10:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. #2 Slightly O/T, but I got an emailed story that Aussies consider rubbing kangaroo testicles (taxidermied, not on the hoof) to be good luck. Any truth to this? And if so, where do I find a pair?

      Not really sure that it is O/T, this topic is about Peter Roebuck. But I am sure the kangaroo deserved it.

      Posted by rob w on 2008 02 28 at 10:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. whatever you guys get for your cricket patriotism, all of your boys are going after the Indian money (at least those that are bought in the auction). so, why don’t you relax a bit and focus on your new socialist govt’s latest ideas … apologize to aborigines or some such silly thing 🙂

      Posted by Rex7 on 2008 02 28 at 10:37 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11

      What a tangled web you weave.

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 28 at 11:14 PM • permalink

 

    1. The ‘roos are safe from me. Roebuck, however, may get a kick in the nuts…

      Posted by Latino on 2008 02 28 at 11:27 PM • permalink

 

    1. #5 Yeah Latino. And you have to sever them while the roo is still alive. That’s the tricky bit. The really lucky ones are from the big reds whose nuts are so large that it takes two hands to rub one.

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 28 at 11:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11, Rex, Well if the ICC and the ACB are content to kowtow to the BCCI because of the money involved I see no reason why the Aussie players, who seem to be on the receiving end of all this crap, cant get their fair share of the rupee’s being throw around.

      Better that than all of it going to the ICC for bribery coercion.

      Posted by The_Wizard_of_WOZ on 2008 02 29 at 12:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. I must issue a correction to #1 and reproduce the invite verbatim, resisting almost overwhelming pressure to add my usual puerile comments.

      The Griffith University’s Griffith Asia Institute and the Australian Centre of Asia Pacific Art, Queensland Art Gallery

      invite you to

      perspectives asia:

      “India and Australia:
      The Battle for World Cricket”

      Presented by Peter Roebuck from the Sydney Morning Herald

      6.00pm
      Thursday 6 March 2008
      Lecture Theatre
      Queensland Art Gallery
      Stanley Place, Southbank

      Doors will open at 530pm; guests are welcome to join us for refreshments prior to the lecture.

      RSVP to Kathy Bailey bt FRi 29 Feb

      Email: kathy.bailey@griffith.edu.au
      Tel: 07 3735 3730

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 29 at 12:47 AM • permalink

 

    1. About the only thing I have to add to this thread is that I still reckon “Spanky Roebuck” is the best name ever and we should repeat it as often as possible.

      Posted by Nilknarf Arbed on 2008 02 29 at 01:18 AM • permalink

 

    1. #16, What’s the bet the gallery just happens to have photos of young, loin cloth clad youths, a gallery of rattan implements, a tribal initiation display, et al, hence Roebuck’s appearance?

      Posted by Nic on 2008 02 29 at 01:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m not sure it is wise to bung on free piss before spanky goes the speak, but that’s just my view, being a juvenile, self indulgent, free piss pig

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 02 29 at 01:49 AM • permalink

 

    1. #13 Latino,

      don’t listen to any of these bullshitters. 😉

      There’s a place about an hours drive from me that sells Roo Ball Sacs by the score.

      If you are seriously interested in a set, let me know.

      We used to host Japanese students and the buggers were always rapt when they took a nut sac home for the old man.

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 02 29 at 04:56 AM • permalink

 

    1. #20 Latino. It is common knowledge in Australia, that Pog’s family owns that farm and it is presently under government scrutiny because they were found out for selling possums scrotums under the guise of wallaby sacks. The Japanese will buy anything that has the Australia Made logo on it.

      I hope you haven’t already purchased over the web with your card, because the other investigation with that site is card fraud.

      Rather you come to Mehauls Big Balls where you can be guaranteed of the ridgy didge thing. Go http://www.mehaulsbigballs.com.au

      Posted by mehaul on 2008 02 29 at 06:29 AM • permalink

 

    1. I must have been reading a different article to Tim, or maybe its because although Roebuck is an Aussie citizen, he writes like an Englishman.

      Whatever the case, I didn’t detect bias towards one team or the other.

      Right in front of the quote that Tim dug out of the article, Roebuck wrote:

      Harbhajan hardly has been an innocent party, either. Not the least tiresome aspect of this bitterness has been the way nationalistic backslappers in both countries have sided with their own players. Cricket’s most valuable lesson is to treat every ball on its merits. Independent observers have been dismayed by the off-spinner’s provocations.

      I don’t doubt that, in the case of the Australians well-known predeliction for the sledge, India’s nationalistic press has encouraged Harbajhan and Ishant to fling some verbal poo back and then some. And Roebuck makes it plain that the Indians are sinning every bit as much as they are sinned against.

      It was a glorious match from which they emerged with great credit. But they could not let it go. Instead, they rallied around their man. Although the contents of the letter to the referee remain private, its existence was made public. As usual, the Indian players were portrayed as victims. The sight of teams running to teacher after another of the schoolyard squabbles that have demeaned the summer has had little to commend it.

      For a few days, the Australians were occupying the higher ground. It did not last long. Hayden’s insults saw to that.

      But apparently Haydn’s hair is in wonderful shape these days and everyone wants to run their fingers through it

      He does not seem to care what outsiders think about him, which as far as overseas teams are concerned is just as well. In this case, he got off lightly. He played his part in promoting the popularity of a notably irritating opponent whose celebrations of wickets have long since passed beyond the pale. India may rejoice in its “Bhaj” but he does not command affection elsewhere.

      I’ll translate from English into Aussie: “Harbajhan is an obnoxious little weed”

      Which is why Roebuck ends with:

      Now these two nations must find a way to live together, the better to play against each other without creating these foolish disturbances. A choice must be made. Only two positions are any longer enforceable. Either everything goes or nothing goes. Finally, the moment of decision has come.

      I agree with Roebuck. Either they give up cricket and take up something else (boxing? baseball? Aussie Rules?) or the cricket authorities start fining and banning players like Harbajhan before there’s a punch-up. A punch-up might appeal to some Indian broadcasters but it’ll send international cricket into a tailspin.

      I think the umpires have got to get tough with the excessive celebrating and the backchat. It’s ruining a good game.

      Posted by John A on 2008 02 29 at 09:25 AM • permalink

 

  1. Oh Tim, about the television networks – perhaps you missed this article?

    Leading broadsheet The Times of India branded Hayden’s remarks a “new low” in a simmering feud between the Indian and Australian teams.

    The incident has also received hours of reportage and analysis on India’s many cable news channels.

    Lengthy portions of Hayden’s radio interview were aired on television sports bulletins on Wednesday night.

    Many in Indian believe Hayden was let off lightly when he only received a reprimand rather than a fine after the code of conduct hearing.

    “Oz Board winks at unprovoked attack on Bhajji,” said a front page headline in the Hindustan Times yesterday while the The Times of India said Cricket Australia had “carried out a sham of a censure” on Hayden.

    Here’s the one I missed:

    Hayden has been strongly criticised for challenging 19-year-old Indian bowler Ishant Sharma to a fight during the radio interview.

    Indian commentators also took a dim view of Hayden mimicking Ishant’s accent on air.

    Yes, very mature. Now his lucrative contract to play in the IPL is under threat.

    What a dick.

    Posted by John A on 2008 02 29 at 10:09 AM • permalink