FEAST PLANNED

My, but protesters had an easy time of it during the recent G20 summit in Melbourne. Let’s see them try it on at another summit in the Philippines next month, where Justice Secretary Raul Gonzalez promises a jolly response to any antics:

The Philippines media quoted Mr Gonzalez over the weekend as saying he had received intelligence reports that domestic leftists and international activist groups would attempt to spoil the meeting.

“We will not allow that here. We will throw them into the Mactan Straits and let the sharks eat them there,” Mr Gonzalez said.

Posted by Tim B. on 11/27/2006 at 10:27 AM
    1. If they are French-like protesters dolphins will suffice.

      Posted by Some0Seppo on 2006 11 27 at 10:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. I feel pity only for the sharks.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2006 11 27 at 10:58 AM • permalink

 

    1. Then those leftists will be dong there part to help the environment; after all, sharks are part of nature and they need to eat too.

      Posted by rbj1 on 2006 11 27 at 10:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. You go, Gonzalez! I like your style! But would even a hungry shark be interested in chowing down on someone like Pink Tutu girl? How hammered would a hammerhead have to be to take a bite out of those two yoogly specimens on whom Cupid must have used a bazooka in lieu of something as self-evidently ineffectual as an arrow? I refer, of course, to the excellent rogues’ gallery of protestors featured in one of Tim’s earlier posts – to which, having a somewhat delicate constitution, I will not link, given the fact that I am still digesting breakfast.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 27 at 11:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. Raul Gonzalez for President!  Of the United States!

      Posted by Patricia on 2006 11 27 at 12:21 PM • permalink

 

    1. Personally, I blame glowball womanising.  The sharks would not be hungry otherwise.

      Posted by murph on 2006 11 27 at 12:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. We will throw them into the Mactan Straits and let the sharks eat them there

      Jesus, what does Gonzalez have against sharks?

      Posted by Dave S. on 2006 11 27 at 12:49 PM • permalink

 

    1. Patricia read my mind(sorry!)

      The first thing we should do is see if this guy wasn’t born in the US of A.

      Posted by yojimbo on 2006 11 27 at 01:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. Feed ‘em to the crabs.  Crabs’ll eat anything, and the sharks have plenty of polar bears to eat anyway.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 27 at 01:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. One hopes that the international leftoid groups will have to forfeit their money when they cancel their flights now. Yay for evil corporations!

      Posted by PW on 2006 11 27 at 02:53 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hey Paco—new leftinition (words coined to discuss lefties):

      Shark ugly: You chew your own fin off like a shark in a trap to keep from waking up the Pink Tutu girl.

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 11 27 at 03:09 PM • permalink

 

    1. I don’t support his free speech suppression policy but I do support his shark feeding policy.

      Posted by chrisbg99 on 2006 11 27 at 03:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Hmmmm.

      Just about the best policy statement I’ve heard all year.

      I think if there were more fair trade protesters thrown to the sharks there’d be a lot fewer fair trade protesters.

      And that’s an outcome we can all get behind.

      Posted by memomachine on 2006 11 27 at 04:18 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11: Excellent, Mark! Incidentally, by common acclaim, it is now your job to track neologisms for the Tim Blair Dictionary.

      Posted by paco on 2006 11 27 at 04:43 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sounds like a plan, Mr Gonzalez. On the downside, however, Chief Commissioner Nixon has just scrubbed you from her Christmas card list.

      Posted by SwinishCapitalist on 2006 11 27 at 04:51 PM • permalink

 

    1. Sharks don’t really go for the tofu crap.

      Posted by Bandit on 2006 11 27 at 05:01 PM • permalink

 

    1. Watch as my new bestseller, Leftinitions, makes everyone forget about Rich Hall and his Sniglet™ garbage.

      Posted by SoberHT on 2006 11 27 at 05:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11, and then you realize where she left her baton….

      Posted by cuckoo on 2006 11 27 at 05:48 PM • permalink

 

    1. For goodness sake, I do not support the Greens usually, but effluent must not be thrown into the ocean. Better a lime pit and thenadded to compost. Clean and green solution

      Posted by Hillyminx on 2006 11 27 at 06:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. Here’s a word for your lexicon, mark:  “Sharkemizing”, crushing the dissent of tutu’d twits who didn’t have the good sense to stay home and stop bothering the grownups.

      Posted by RebeccaH on 2006 11 27 at 06:36 PM • permalink

 

    1. Please hold the next G20 in Beijing.  They know how to welcome protesters.

      Posted by Mr Hackenbacker on 2006 11 27 at 06:55 PM • permalink

 

    1. #21, excellent idea!  It would also ease the global organ supply.  No more waiting for a replacement spleen!

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2006 11 27 at 07:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Nah, just sharks.

      Think about it, would you want one of those organs in your body?  Considering where they’ve been?

      Posted by Firehand on 2006 11 27 at 07:40 PM • permalink

 

    1. On the subject of law enforcement, Australia’s law enforcement agencies are clearly racist.

      Check out the names of these dudes accused of falsely signing statutory declarations.

      Posted by Margos Maid on 2006 11 27 at 07:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. Margos Maid,

      Great Aussies, all of them.

      Posted by mareeS on 2006 11 27 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. Raul Gonzalez instead of Kofi..
      New lamps for old..

      Posted by crash on 2006 11 27 at 09:23 PM • permalink

 

    1. Couldn’t we render them and use them to power police cars?

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2006 11 27 at 10:13 PM • permalink

 

    1. He’s got the green maracha, he’s got the crystal stick.  He’s got 1 arm and half of his left leg and a 10 foot hammerhead circling his funky ass.  He’s no longer worried about global capitalism.  Not even a little bit.

      Posted by Carl H on 2006 11 27 at 10:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. “For these reasons, you are hereby directed to strictly monitor and conduct surveillance and profiling of all Pakistanis and Afghans, as well as Indian nationals, and other foreign visitors carrying Indian passports that enter the Philippines, and submit a weekly report thereon. … ” the justice secretary said in his memorandum.”

      Profiling? profiling? But, but, but, isn’t that racist? Won’t they be offended? Apology ! Apology! We protest! Burn his image! Wreck cars! Blowiside yourselves up! Shoot nuns!

      Posted by ElectronPower on 2006 11 27 at 10:47 PM • permalink

 

    1. #12 Sorting out violent trouble makers is not free speech supression

      Posted by EvilK on 2006 11 27 at 11:45 PM • permalink

 

    1. mark from monroe, you realize, of course, that if you publish ‘Leftinition’ and it’s a best seller Ant may never, ever speak to you again, right?

      Posted by JorgXMcKie on 2006 11 28 at 12:25 AM • permalink

 

    1. The circle of life!

      Posted by curious george on 2006 11 28 at 03:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. They could travel via eco-friendly row boat, but will need both oars in the water … (senator Bob) Brown eyes the situation carefully?

      Posted by egg_ on 2006 11 28 at 03:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. Think of the slick those dirty hippies will leave in the Pacific. Won’t anyone think of the fish?

      Posted by Nic on 2006 11 28 at 05:52 AM • permalink

 

    1. They can expect far more civilised treatment at the APEC meeting in Sydney next year.NSW Police are to be issued with limp lettuce which they will use to thrash any demonstrators who overstep the mark.Batons,capsicum spray and those highly decorative pistols they flaunt will definitely not be employed.

      Posted by Lew on 2006 11 29 at 04:31 AM • permalink

 

    1. Folks, this is the Philippines we’re talking about, known for it’s clownish government officials and comic opera security forces.

      Gonzales is engaging in a well established tradition, the bold official declaration of perparedness and resolve in the face of adversity.  This is invariably followed by a government led debacle of monumental proportions.

      This is the country that resolutely declared it would never bow to terrorism, right before paying Iraqi insurgents a multimillion dollar ransom and withdrawing all its troops from Iraq to recover one alcoholic truck driver.

      This is the same country whose foreign minister declared that it had a comprehensive plan in place to assure the safety of all of its citizens trapped in Lebanon during the Israeli invasion.  The plan turned out to be advising said trapped citizens to try hiding in churches.

      This is the country whose Army, in its most recent coup attempt, siezed control of a shopping mall.

      The Filipinos are going to teach Hong Kong about law and order?

      We should count ourselves lucky if the protesters don’t end up seizing Malacanang Palace and taking control of the government.

      Posted by Conrad on 2006 11 29 at 11:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. Conrad:

      If the veteran communist agitators that make up the hard core knot of these “protests” did manage to seize the Palace, would anyone notice?

      The PI always struck me as a place where folk were at best only marginally aware that they even had a national government. And those few that were aware still weren’t real sure what it was supposed to do.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2006 11 30 at 09:52 AM • permalink

 

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