ENFORCEMENT BRANCH STRIKES

Kyoto trouble in Kyanada:

Canada will be probed on suspicion of violating rules for registering greenhouse gases that are the mainstay of a UN-led fight against global warming, official documents show.

Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide if found to be in breach of the rules by the enforcement branch of the UN’s Kyoto Protocol. Greece was suspended last month, the first nation to face such a sanction under Kyoto.

Possibly Canada – lately punching out carbon at a level way above its Kyoto target – was simply trying to avoid committing New Zealand-style Kyotocide. Similar woes in the UK:

Labour’s new green targets will cost every family in Britain more than £3,000, a Government dossier has warned. The decision by ministers to sign up to “unachievable” EU pledges on renewable energy will leave taxpayers with a £75billion bill.

Posted by Tim B. on 05/07/2008 at 11:07 PM
    1. Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide if found to be in breach of the rules

      Their rights to trade Monopoly money, Tooth Fairy IOUs and Itchy and Scratchy Dollars would also be severely compromised.

      Posted by cuckoo on 2008 05 07 at 11:16 PM • permalink

 

    1. If the crime is producing CO2, and the punishment is being forced to buy fantasy carbon credits, how does being banned from trading, i.e., buying those credits count as a further punishment?

      Posted by cuckoo on 2008 05 07 at 11:19 PM • permalink

 

    1. I’m sorry, but

      HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
      HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
      HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

      hah.

      heh.

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 07 at 11:22 PM • permalink

 

    1. Canada will be probed

      Wimpy, Wimpy?

      I think he’s passed out.

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 07 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Humans exhale CO2. Must we all stop breathing or face sanctions?

      Posted by stackja1945 on 2008 05 07 at 11:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. Napoleon Solo IS “The Man from E.B.U.N.K.Y.P.”…!

      Posted by richard mcenroe on 2008 05 07 at 11:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. Imagine the world’s largest throat emitting a Nelson laugh through a nuclear powered, Arecibo-class megaphone.

      That is but a whisper compared to mine.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 05 07 at 11:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. Boy, us ‘merkins sure is dumb. Wish we was smart like Yurropeans and Canadanadians and New Sealins. Yup.

      Posted by Dave S. on 2008 05 07 at 11:33 PM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t Wanna Be A Canadian Idiot!

      Posted by Pogria on 2008 05 07 at 11:44 PM • permalink

 

    1. “Probed”?

      “Enforcement branch”?

      That sounds rather painful… and unsanitary.

      :^þ

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 07 at 11:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. 75 billion pounds?!

      Where does all the money go?

      Posted by Ian Deans on 2008 05 07 at 11:58 PM • permalink

 

    1. One of the few times that the US Senate has been nearly unanimous on anything was against our signing the Kyoto treaty.

      Man, we dodged a bullet there, for sure.

      Posted by The_Real_JeffS on 2008 05 07 at 11:59 PM • permalink

 

    1. Humans exhale CO2.

      so do butterflys.
      humans… butterflys… there aint room for both of us on this planet!

      Posted by daddy dave on 2008 05 08 at 12:07 AM • permalink

 

    1. Don’t worry Canada. Unless you take the form of a goat or young boy, the UN’s Goons won’t touch you.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 08 at 12:08 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide

      I’ve always wondered: how is the stuff shipped when it’s traded? Freight car? Balloons? Six-pack?

      Posted by paco on 2008 05 08 at 12:10 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kyotocide

      That one’s going straight to the pool room..

      Posted by Pickles on 2008 05 08 at 12:37 AM • permalink

 

    1. #11 Ian

      75 billion pounds?!

      Where does all the money go?

      Lining the pockets of various tin-pot Third World potentates who game the UN like they do their own ruined economies. Hey, they gotta find some way to make up for the loss of the Oil for Food gravy train…

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 08 at 12:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 paco

      Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide

      I’ve always wondered: how is the stuff shipped when it’s traded? Freight car? Balloons? Six-pack?

      By, umm… mules, secreted in various body cavities.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 08 at 12:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15 Paco, it’s shipped in balloons. Black, carbon-like balloons. Depicted is a carbon trader’s nightmare!

      Posted by RichS on 2008 05 08 at 12:53 AM • permalink

 

    1. Kyotocide!!
      LOVE it Tim, exactly the correct term!!

      Posted by Jazza on 2008 05 08 at 12:55 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide if found to be in breach of the rules by the enforcement branch of the UN’s Kyoto Protocol. Greece was suspended last month, the first nation to face such a sanction under Kyoto.

      Brilliant! That’s the way to go! Get suspended although as said in the full article, this could only happen after 2012 (i.e, after the first commitment period).

      Also from the article, “Canada has said its target is unachievable, especially since high oil prices make it attractive to develop oil sands which involve high emissions. Canada has also said it does not want to make up the difference from its Kyoto target by funding emissions cuts in other nations using carbon trading options.”

      I repeat – brilliant and the way to go!

      So the least cost option (keep your dollars at home and don’t waste them on buying stale air) is to get suspended and incur a 30% penalty for the next round.  As there is no next round agreed as yet, nor any follow on Kyoto treaty, if enough countries fail to meet their targets which is quite likely then there could be few countries signing up to continue the scheme scam.

      Congratulations Canada by letting the scheme scam roll on in this fashion.  Enough countries acting in a similar way will effectively kill it off.

      Posted by Wand on 2008 05 08 at 12:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. Does this involve wrapping Canada in a big roll of cling wrap so they suffocate in their own CO2 or something?
      So the punishment for not playing “fantasy football global apocolipse” is to suspend you so (Im assuming) if you are having to pay money for offsets, you dont have to anymore?Im failing to see the dowside.

      Posted by thefrollickingmole on 2008 05 08 at 01:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. #22 Frolicking …

      You forgot …

      The indignity if being named and shamed!

      Posted by Wand on 2008 05 08 at 01:35 AM • permalink

 

    1. Australia is in the same position as Canada. Rudd said when he signed Kyoto that Australia’s failure to meet the target would cost $1 billion (he naturally blamed Howard). The Greens says the difference is going to cost $3 billion.

      Let the backlash begin.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 05 08 at 02:28 AM • permalink

 

    1. Soooooooooo… after missing the original reporting deadline by 2 months the UN waits another 2 months to inform Canada that they have missed the original reporting deadline by more than 2 months. In another month or longer the UN will meet to consider the case. If the UN finds Canada in noncompliance they might :

      -Publicly declare Canada in non-compliance

      -“Force” Canada to submit an action within three months for getting back into compliance

      -Suspend Canada’s right to trade in the Kyoto carbon market. (But Canada doesn’t participate in any of Kyoto’s emissions credits or carbon trading programs so it would be symbolic)

      -only after 2012 Canada could be determined to be in non-compliance.

      Assuming they send a strongly worded letter then it does sound like a UN program.

      Posted by Col. Milquetoast on 2008 05 08 at 02:34 AM • permalink

 

    1. In a few short years, we global warming deniers are going to be like members of the French Resistance or hippies who mellowed out to Hendrix at Woodstock. There’s going to be millions of us! The case for an international registry of which side you took has never been stronger.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 08 at 02:41 AM • permalink

 

    1. #15, Build an extremely large power plant that can supply gigawatts of energy, get some coal or soot, or something that’s made of carbon. Then get a really large hydraulic press and squeeze the carbon, while you’re heating it to high temperatures, and you have sequestration of carbon for a couple of thousand years and some really nice homemade glass cutters. The other method is to fill a large ship up with a bunch of carbon (probably from burnt trees) and dump it all in the ocean and stir like crazy till it’s dissolved. Then you can take the original copy of the bill to prove to the UN that you are now carbon neutral. You’ll notice that I didn’t say anything about transportation because there’s no reason to let the UN have the glass cutters, they would only try to sell them to the al-Qadea consortium.

      This answer was typed really fast so that no carbon was emitted in its creation.

      Posted by Mike H. on 2008 05 08 at 03:17 AM • permalink

 

    1. I reckon it’s farmers that should be paying drivers and all the other airborne plant-food creators for their good work.

      Farmer’s plants are literally getting a free-lunch!

      Posted by Rob Read on 2008 05 08 at 03:45 AM • permalink

 

    1. In other crazy green news, the main fountain at Canberra’s parliament house is to flow again with 250,000 litres of environmentally correct recycled water TRUCKED in from the distant water treatment plant. Another case of candles for Earth Hour thinking.

      And in true nanny state style, having filled the fountain with water, authorities have had to fence it for safety reasons.

      It is embarrassing to be an Australian these days.

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 05 08 at 04:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. O/T

      Individuals with conservative ideologies are happier than liberal-leaners, and new research pinpoints the reason: Conservatives rationalize social and economic inequalities.

      Regardless of marital status, income or church attendance, right-wing individuals reported greater life satisfaction and well-being than left-wingers, the new study found.

      Foxnews

      Something we’ve known all along: lefties are a miserable, humourless, depressing lot and best avoided.

      Posted by walterplinge on 2008 05 08 at 04:13 AM • permalink

 

    1. #31 – Well, knowing that you’re better in bed, funnier, smarter and better looking than the rest, does put a pep in ones step.

      Posted by Infidel Tiger on 2008 05 08 at 04:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Crazy world of being green

      Posted by Contrail on 2008 05 08 at 04:27 AM • permalink

 

    1. #27 Mike H
      We thought of doing that with Dad*, but it was a bit expensive.However, for the True Believers I think that price is no object.

      See you in the caves, mate.

      *There you go, a link!

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 04:39 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 Why not transform your loved one into an Inert Carbon Rod?  Become part of the nuclear power industry!  Perfect for the conservative corpse.

      Posted by Brett_McS on 2008 05 08 at 05:44 AM • permalink

 

    1. #33 kae – That’s a truly novel and profitable way to sell industrial diamonds.  Whoever did the marketing case study probably received an HD.

      Posted by Wand on 2008 05 08 at 05:50 AM • permalink

 

    1. #34
      Brett_McS, well, your loved one wouldn’t sparkle…. but they’d be good for gas.#35 Wand
      Didja see how much those suckers are?
      Anyway, it’s too late for Dad, he’s been sprinkled over the Shoalhaven/Bungonia area.

      Oops, maybe I shouldn’t say that?

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 05:59 AM • permalink

 

    1. #34
      Bugger. That’s charcoal.But I don’t see why not, it’s all the same, diamond/charcoal/spent fuel.

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 06:01 AM • permalink

 

    1. It’s a shame Tim didn’t keep his nasty little visitor from earlier this year. He coulda converted it to something useful!

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 06:11 AM • permalink

 

    1. #38 – What at US $20,000/carat assuming there’s enough carbon! Still he could go for a cheaper option at US $13,000/carat.  Maybe he could buy some carbon offsets to make up any shortfall.

      Posted by Wand on 2008 05 08 at 06:23 AM • permalink

 

    1. #39
      I looked at the cheaper options.Yellow is not a colour I like.

      Oi, Tim! How much did that little mongrel parasite* weigh?

      * No. Al Gore and Phatty et al are NOT little.

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 06:26 AM • permalink

 

    1. “Kyotocide” would be a great name for a blog…

      Posted by John A on 2008 05 08 at 08:19 AM • permalink

 

    1. The Karbon Kops are on the prowl…

      Posted by mojo on 2008 05 08 at 08:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. You can laugh, but Toronto’s Red Star told us yesterday that pollution (in the form of CO2) is killing koala bears.  So, you’ve got yours coming, OZ.

      Posted by Son of a Pig and a Monkey on 2008 05 08 at 09:46 AM • permalink

 

    1. Let me see if I’ve got this right:

      1. Canada busted by the UN for missing a deadline for reporting production of an invisible, ubiquitous, harmless gas.

      2. UN still oblivious and impotent re Iran’s nukes.

      Am I missing something here?

      Posted by Harry Bergeron on 2008 05 08 at 10:00 AM • permalink

 

    1. I’m having a hard time understanding the complexities of all this. Can someone explain it to me through the medium of Interpretive Dance?

      Posted by Merlin on 2008 05 08 at 10:20 AM • permalink

 

    1. Hehe

      Cop that, Canada, for ratting on the Oz AWB over kickbacks, just ‘cause we beat you to the Iraq wheat market …

      Commiserations andy, wimpy et al …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 05 08 at 11:21 AM • permalink

 

    1. Only the UN could make the likes of Canada & NZ look like rogues and heroes of Russia and China …

      Posted by egg_ on 2008 05 08 at 11:30 AM • permalink

 

    1. Damn Kae, and I thought I was joking! Civilization is starting to become scary.

      Did I say starting?

      I’ll see you later I’m off to price caves before the market explodes.

      Posted by Mike H. on 2008 05 08 at 11:40 AM • permalink

 

    1. Ottawa could be suspended from rights to trade carbon dioxide

      That’s harsh man, everybody loses!

      #26 Tiger, you left out Buddy Holly’s plane.  He must have had a 747 to accommodate all the musicians who almost took that flight.

      Posted by Steve Skubinna on 2008 05 08 at 01:00 PM • permalink

 

    1. #11 Ian asks a good question that I would love to know the real answer to (as opposed to the joke answers). Who will get the money?

      It seems like virtually every 1st world signatory to Kyoto will be fined into bankruptcy for violating their targets, and if everybody’s getting hit, who benefits?

      Posted by tim maguire on 2008 05 08 at 01:03 PM • permalink

 

    1. That’s OK – our LIberal masters have already found a way to start addressing behvior that is unacceptable from a warmenest hysteria perspective – individual and business carbon taxes.  Liberals already convinced it’s a grand scheme.  Many Canadiansagree – at least until they actually have to pay for it.

      Posted by Nukevet on 2008 05 08 at 02:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50
      Kofi’s son?

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 03:04 PM • permalink

 

    1. #50 tim maguire

      My answer in #17 wasn’t entirely in jest. All those innumerable UN agencies are very good at making vast amounts of money disappear.

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 08 at 03:32 PM • permalink

 

    1. #52 kae,

      Do you realize you’ve now passed paco as the number 1 commenter here?

      Posted by Spiny Norman on 2008 05 08 at 03:34 PM • permalink

 

    1. On the plus side, we’ll have a shorter logistics line when we have to mount up to enforce the UN resolutions.

      Posted by Grimmy on 2008 05 08 at 03:52 PM • permalink

 

    1. #54
      Shhh.Paco = Quality
      Kae = Quantity

      Posted by kae on 2008 05 08 at 05:24 PM • permalink

 

    1. #1

      Their rights to trade Monopoly money, Tooth Fairy IOUs and Itchy and Scratchy Dollars would also be severely compromised.

      The real question is – how much is that in Schrute-bucks?

      (for any other fans of The Office)

      Posted by RyanOH on 2008 05 08 at 06:06 PM • permalink

 

    1. You will take my barbie from my cold, dead hands.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 08 at 08:05 PM • permalink

 

    1. #9 Thank you Pogria, I hadn’t seen that before, he said sniffing back a tear.

      Just for yours infos, the South Park creator(s) are, apparently in fact Canadian. The story is that they grew up in an area of Carleton Place, just adjacent to the megapolis of Ottawa, called South Park.

      This is the story of all this enviro-mental nonsense:

      Greenpeace was formed by a couple of Vancouverites, one, Patrick Moore, who thankfully has seen the light.

      Kyoto was the satan spawn of the UN Rio conference, created and directed by Canadian Maurice Strong, the man who hides in China

      I am ashamed to admit it but yes, you can BLAME IT ON CANADA

      And here is a dissenting opinion

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 08 at 08:26 PM • permalink

 

    1. So this is what Schadenfreude is like…

      Posted by Nicholas on 2008 05 08 at 08:29 PM • permalink

 

    1. #25 In which case, the UN is toast, if you don’t mind the nomative jeu de mot. Simple, we stop giving the UN dictator club money.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 08 at 08:30 PM • permalink

 

    1. I propose a tax on joggers. For the obvious, and logical, reason.

      Posted by Wimpy Canadian on 2008 05 08 at 08:32 PM • permalink

 

  1. #59 wimpy,
    you are most welcome.ps, the last link isn’t working.

    Posted by Pogria on 2008 05 09 at 12:10 AM • permalink