Friday, December 09, 2005
TURKEY ADVICE REQUIRED
Today I will attempt to roast a turkey. It’s currently thawing on a table outside. I have no idea what to do next.
UPDATE. Advice in comments indicates that my thawing method might cause fatalities. Not sure now whether to buy another bird or serve the one I have to people I don’t like.
UPDATE II. A new turkey—free range, unfrozen, non-plastic—has been purchased. Old turkey left outside Phillip Adams’ house.
UPDATE III. Brilliant turkey advice from localharbour: “Get some little plastic soldiers. Serve the real turkey to them, then write about it. Confuse the Left all to hell.”
UPDATE IV. And thanks to Donnah for the small matter of saving my life.
UPDATE V. Karl Schnitger, columnist for “a bi-weekly progressive publication dedicated to peace, social justice, and wellness”, joins the plastic turkey club. Hey, at least the plastic ones won’t kill anybody.
UPDATE VI. Cartoonist Jen Sorensen:
The more time goes by, the more it strikes me that the fake turkey is an excellent metaphor—well, one of many excellent metaphors—for this administration. Everything has been fake to the core, a hollow facade. Not to mention that plastic is made from petroleum.
Genius Jen even includes the fantasy bird in her wonderful cartoons.
