Tuesday, October 17, 2006
THREE HUNDRED MILLION
“America’s population is on track to hit 300 million this morning, and it’s causing a stir among environmentalists,” reports Maine’s Sun Journal. “Organizations such as the Shelburne-based Population Media Center are marking the 300 million milestone with renewed warnings that world population growth is unsustainable, and the fallout will affect every corner of the earth,” notes the Burlington Free Press. “Be careful what you wish for,” warns the editorial board of Seattle’s Post-Intelligencer.
Since so few US media outlets were inclined to celebrate this non-grim milestone, the job was outsourced to a little Australian blog. Following is a small sample of Americans, from which you may reasonably extrapolate a figure of 300 million. Or 957 trillion, if you work for Lancet ...
1 “Here is a whole slew of us!” writes Joanne K, of Louisville, Kentucky:
2 Rebecca H. forwards this shot of her grandchildren: “They’re a few years older than this picture now, but this one is my favorite. Little Ohio rednecks, all of them”:
3 “My brother and his wife are doing their part,” reports proud Uncle G. “Here’s a portrait from last year of the EIGHT little ones!”
4 Barbara Skolaut (“American by birth, Southern by the grace of God”) wishes to memorialize her maternal grandparents, John Cyrus Jones and Sophronia Patterson Jones. This is their wedding photo (from 1905). John’s ancestors emigrated from Wales to America before the Revolution; his bride’s family arrived from Scotland sometime around the War of 1812. “I am grateful every day,” writes Barbara, ”my ancestors got on those boats.”
5 Our friends Ralph Strickland and wife Billie in Knoxville, Tennessee, upon his return from Iraq. Of that excellent Cavalry Stetson, Ralph says: “Australians aren’t the only ones with cool military hats”:
6 “We didn’t have children,” writes Kyda Sylvester, “but my brother/sister-in-law picked up our slack.” And how; here the Young clan lays claim to Newport Beach, California:
7 Today happens to be the 15th birthday of reader Don K.’s son. Happy birthday, mate!
8 “Not a very good pic,” demures Meep, of her shot below, “but we were trying to fit everybody in. That’s just most of the people on my Dad’s side of the family. My Ma’s side of the family is even bigger. Then there’s my husband’s family (my ma-in-law was one of 10 kids). Let’s just say I don’t have very many ‘full family’ pics. We can never wrangle them all into the same frame.”
9 Adds Meep: “Oh, and if Australia ever needs more kids, I’m sure we can ship a couple over ...”
10 Baby M. sends a pic of P.J. and Alex, both of whom have been added to the US population since the 200-million mark was overtaken in 1967:
11 Following is Sarah W.’s family, “a pretty handsome bunch of people, if I do say so myself. I’m excited about 300 Million Day and I think the Founding Fathers of the U.S. would be proud to see it. As President Abraham Lincoln once said, ‘300 million? That’s a hell of a lot of people!!!!!!’”
12 Bob P. emails: “Here is a photo I took of two cousins, one aged two and one aged three months—years before Mohammed would even take an interest in them. Taken very recently on the occasion of the younger cousin’s baptism into (gasp! horrors!) Christianity.”
13 A very proud Dminor reports: “This little blighter was born 6th October this year; photo taken during his hearing test when 3 days old. Tell Starfleet we have engaged the Borg.”
14 “Well, the Mrs and I fulfilled our biological imperatives,” writes a relieved BJ Barron. “Thank God they’ve all finally moved out”:
15 Scott A. introduces Sigita (below, right), a Lithuanian, soon to be in the 300-million-plus American club. “Which goes to show,” he boasts (rightly), “that America’s strength is that we still continue to attract hot women from around the world”:
16 The recent wedding of reader Jeff’s niece. One child is missing from the photo, she being about one year old: “This is our contribution to the 300 million”:
17 From left to right: Robert Crawford’s mother, niece Ellie, and niece Rachel. “Ellie looks a little annoyed because I tried to get her to look at the camera. Silly me; Cinderella is singing and dancing off to the right. No way she was going to take her eyes off that.”
18 Mike D. and his bride of eleven days at a sushi restaurant in Alameda, California: “She survived Mao’s cultural revolution (her father spent ten years in a re-education camp). I myself survived the Carter administration.”
19 Colleen of Seattle, Washington, sends two brilliant pics of her parents in their first year of marriage, prior to six subsequent children: “They just celebrated their 51st anniversary last June and have certainly done their part in getting us to the 300 million.”
20 Michael Lutz and wife—“Discharging our genetic duty since 1975”—forward the following evidence (note the elegant compassion tilts):
21 Matt Jones and family on vacation at seaside Oregon:
22 “Here are my three contributions to the destruction of Planet Earth,” writes JDB. “Note the wee house because there is no room left for them in America. Also, they can now withstand winter temperatures due to the Global Warmening”:
23 The happy Cross family of New York, New York:
24 Reader and regular commenter MentalFloss: “This is what not only keeps me sane but fills my heart with joy every time I look upon her”:
25 Here’s Major John with his kids, “two of the cutest little crushing burdens Gaia ever suffered to bear”:
26 Behold Ken Linden Nordin, born November 18th, 2005:
27 Sonetka’s Mom—you’ll recognise her from comments—sends a pic taken last February in Salt Lake City: “My two oldest sons (the Marine on the left, the soldier on the right) were visiting their sister, brother-in-law and infant nephew (sitting on the Marine’s lap). A good-looking crew, aren’t they?”
28 Me with a borrowed Infant American; that’s Christopher Morrow, third son to James and Clare, and who is calculated to be the 299,998,875th US citizen:
29 Onward to 400 million! John Wilson (in background, with camera), wife Peggy (in foreground) and new-child-to-be-born-any-minute (in utero):
UPDATE. Mark Steyn:
As a special publicity tie-in for my new book, the 300 millionth America has very kindly arranged to be born sometime today - Tuesday October 17th 2006 - and I couldn’t be happier. Not everyone is, though. The Independent and other British and European newspapers have been running pieces full of gloom about the terrible surfeit of Americans ...
Hit the top link for a book extract.
UPDATE II. Chuck Simmins has enchanting pictures from the pre-300 million era. Way pre.
UPDATE III. 30 San Francisco resident Joe L. (shown disguised as a San Francisco resident) writes: “Not only are we breeders in downtown SF, but we are also conservatives. Gasp! As you can see from their sour expressions, my son (Tazman) and daughters (Jade and Sage) are quite concerned about the impending population explosion. Meanwhile their parents are blissfully unaware of the horror they have unleashed by their reckless spawning. Gaia Save Us All!”
31 Stephen L., from beautifully-named Forty Fort, PA, sends a graphic depiction of America’s overcrowding problem:
‘32 Ford Iowahawk’s children of the corn plot their next trailer invasion at Lakewood Mobile Home Court:
UPDATE IV. 33 Colleen (whose pics run above at 19 and 20) sent another shot, taken around 1934, showing four generations of her family: dad, grandfather, great grandfather and great-great grandfather. She writes: “This side of the family has been in America since before the Revolutionary War.”
UPDATE V. 34 Comments czar Paco—one of the reasons visitors here linger for minutes rather than the seconds endured at lesser sites—zips in a portrait of his North Carolina National Guardsman brother on duty in Iraq:
35 Part of Imperial Keeper Elizabeth’s vast empire—Trent, the eldest of her five Gaia-depleting grandchildren:
36 Reader El Cid’s daughter Kim with an unnamed Snow American:
37 Cynthia Robinson writes: “This is a photo of my husband’s immediate family on the occasion of his mother’s 90th birthday. Mind you, these are just the brothers and sisters, and their/our progeny as of February 2000. Six more children have been born since then.”
UPDATE VI. 38 Out of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, here we have Bertie and Henry, livewire sons of Victor S.:
39 Robert B. also has two fine sons, the youngest profoundly deaf: “But thanks to Gaia-defying hearing aid technology, he is excelling in mainstream school.”
40 Pumpkin enthusiast Renee K. writes: “Attached is a picture of my parents, my three kids, two nephews, a niece, and me. We are shown here on our annual trip to rape the planet—a hayride to the pumpkin patch, where everyone picks out a pumpkin, which we do not eat. We just carve it and let it sit on the front porch step until it gets thrown away in November. You will notice the open land in the picture, but it cannot be used to hold more people—we must have our pumpkins!”
41 Father of four TexasBob (another el-primo commenter) sends this from Iraq: “Here’s a picture of my lovely bride, Suzanne, and me the day I got back from Iraq (the first trip) on our back porch in Sandhausen, Germany. Note the delicious glass of hefeweizen and the ‘welcome home from Iraq’ grill!”
42 In one of the best images in this gallery, Prariecat55 (left) hugs her Daddy following his retirement from the US Navy:
UPDATE VII. 43 Doreen M. emails: “My dad came from a family of 13 in County Cork to the US; had seven kids; our family now has 21 grandkids and four great grandkids.” As well, Doreen’s son (a Cav Scout) served during the invasion of Iraq, after which an Australian reporter offered a satellite phone so he could call home after months out of contact. Below are two junior members of Doreen’s regiment at this year’s St. Patrick’s Day celebrations:
UPDATE VIII. The Disgruntled (Leftoid) Chemist is sickened by this post.