Wednesday, March 29, 2006
TERROR BIRD BELIEVED EXECUTED
The jihad rooster that yesterday attacked a four-year-old girl—causing serious injuries, by the way; she’s been airlifted to hospital with a collapsed lung—has been smashed, according to the girl’s uncle:
“I don’t think the rooster’s alive. Knowing my brother, he would’ve smashed it.”
In other Australian animal news, a crocodile has been stolen and traded for drugs:
“The original plan was to steal a koala - that’s what they were going to use to swap [for] the drugs,” [zookeeper Wil] Kemp said.
”[But] apparently [the koala] scratched the shit out of them.”
The thieves then decided to take a crocodile instead.
“I don’t know what makes someone go, ‘Oh we tried to steal a koala and that didn’t work so lets go and steal a croc.’”
UPDATE. Why can’t roosters be more like horses?